The pre-reader copy only had about the first half, so....

"Tom Mathews a.k.a.Disruptor" <godphoniex@HOTMAIL.COM> wrote:

	During the night, Kasumi and Akane were woken by a large crash.  Kasumi got 

Would be simpler to say: During the night,  a large crash woke Kasumi
and Akane.

up and went to the door.

	"Sis, where are you going?  You don't know martial arts," Akane asked 
nervously.

Since only the first part's a question, I'd suggest rewriting this as

"Sis, where are you going?" Akane asked nervously.  "You don't know
martial arts."

This also gives you a nice break in the middle of the line where a pause
would naturally occur.

	Before Kasumi could say anything more, the two men in the house cam rushing 

came

upstairs.

	"Ranma my boy, where were you?"

"You have a lot of explaining to do, son."

Indent.

	The two men slid to a stop when they saw Shampoo confronting Kasumi.  The 
Amazon glared at Genma and Soun.

	"Where is Akane?  Shampoo will find her and get where Ranma is at, from 
her,"  Shampoo asked again.

Again, the 'Shampoo asked again.' would be best put in the middle IMO.

	"WHAAAAAAAAH!!!" Soun cried, with two waterfalls coming from his eyes.  "My 
baby girl has ran away."

What makes him think this? Why couldn't she just be in the bathroom or
something?

	The human waterfall stopped crying and replied, "Your right, Saotome.  We 

You're

just gave up the hunt to early."

too

	The two men raced downstairs and out into the night, not caring it was two 
in the morning.  Watching them go, the Chinese girl bounded out of Akane's 
window and went after the two. She smiled as she returned to her room.

Kasumi smiled (otherwise it refers to either Shampoo or Akane)

	Akane nodded, looking like she was about ready to burst into tears.  Kasumi 
laid down and listened as her younger sister quietly sobbed herself to 

lay down

	She tried to figure out when this situation had arisen.  Recalling the week 
of calmness, Nabiki figured out that it had to have happened shortly before 
that week.  The middle Tendo felt a bit hurt that her sister was able to 
keep a secret that big from her.  After a moment of consideration, she 
realized the necessity of silence in this matter.  Some visions of using 
Ranma to make money went through her head.

Seems unlikely that she would understand everything just by watching
that one scene.