This was inspired by "You Only Die A Dozen Times", and the recent message by
Chris Burke which depects Gendo being strangled by Fuyutsuki. Enjoy!

Part 1: Gendo takes on Eva-01
[in central dogma]

Shinji: How could you do this? Why? Kaoru-kun! Uh, I mean otosan!
Gendo: I am here to get people to hate me and give young teens mental
problems.
[Eva-01 picks up Gendo]
[Gendo merely pushes up his glasses. Everything is still for about 5 hours]
Shinji:....
Gendo:.....
[A crunching sound is heard. Gendo's remains fall to the ground.]
Gendo: Choke! Sputter! [dies]

and there was much rejoicing...

Part 2: Gendo takes on Furinkan

[Gendo is running down the street towards Furinkan]
Gendo: I....hate......people!
[A large crowd of students are gathered around the entrance]
Gendo: I am here to get people to hate me and give young teens mental
problems!
Boxing Club student: Hey! Isn't that Gendo?
Archery Club student: Yeah! Forget Akane! Let's kill him!
[Everyone runs up to "greet" Gendo]
[An archery club student sends a few dozen arrows into him]
Gendo: AAAAAAAIIIIIGGGHHHH!
[A boxing club student gives him a few dozen punches in the face]
Gendo: UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
[The chem club pours sulfuric acid on him, dissolving his face]
[At this point, everyone dog piles him]
Gendo: Gurgle! Bubble! [dies]

and there was much rejoicing...

Part 3: Gendo takes on Mach 5

[A race track]
Gendo: I am Ikari Gendo and I am here to-
[He doesn't finish his sentence because Mach 5 runs him down at 900 mph. It
backs up over him, runs over him again, and repeats the process until he is
a permanent part of the track, then parks on him.

and there was much rejoicing...