Here's some C&C... well at least one of the Cs.
A R wrote:
Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, oh, so is Urusei Yatsura.
Juxtaposition
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By: Anand Rao
Chapter Four: The Fit Hit the Shan
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"Yup!" Ataru turned towards Akane, noticed her puzzled expression, then
continued up the stairs.
"How odd. . ," Akane muttered. (Maybe they got lost together.)
Very IC of Akane.
Benten casually picked up a cookie, willing her hand not to shake. "So, did
ya love her? This girl you were engaged to. . ."
Ranma jerked forward. "What? No!"
"Ranma!" Lum exclaimed.
"Well, I don't!" Ranma repeated. "Besides, Akane doesn't care about me
either."
Heh, Lum doesn't know Ranma very well yet :P
"Settle down, boy!" Genma snapped. "You won't have to marry the Oni girl.
Our clan's honor demands that you marry a Tendo, and that's what you're
going to do."
Oni is capitalized here but not in later parts.
"What about the deal I just made with Ranma?"
"It's irrelevant. Family honor takes precedence," Genma replied firmly.
"Besides, when you lose, you just challenge him to a rematch."
Ataru decided to ignore the part about the rematch and let go of Genma.
"Let me see if I get this straight. . . if I win, he has go along with the
deal, but he wins, I don't?"
"Exactly."
"And he'll set up the date for me?" Ataru insisted.
"Yes. Ranma is a man of his word." Genma sighed proudly. "I raised that
boy right."
Ataru smiled then started laughing. "I think I'm going to like this family
honor stuff."
Ataru is perfect for Genma's son :P
Also, like this method of explaining the way Genma acts in the series.
Lum's grin widened as she landed in front of Ataru. "That's true," she
admitted. The oni gently traced a finger along Ataru's jaw and leaned
towards him, their lips nearly touching. "But Darling, your mother isn't
here."
The <Oni> gently traced a finger *I'd go back and check these. You
capitalized it a few times and didn't other times.*
The two remaining men, one young, one old, stood facing each other in
complete silence. A gentle breeze blew around them as their auras grew and
touched. Tears gently streamed down their eyes as realization flowed
through them. In each other they had discovered a kindred spirit.
The old man had found a true apprentice. The aura of lechery shone like a
star in the young one. Untapped, raw potential; the purest Happosai had
ever seen. This one would surpass him, the master knew.
The young man found a renewed sense of hope. For if one so old could be so
perverted, then Ataru too could learn to maintain his sex drive
indefinitely. It would not die with the passage of time, and maybe, just
maybe, his dream of a harem could become a reality.
The two men bowed to each other with the most profound respect, and women
everywhere felt the chill of inevitable dread. The Master of Perversion had
met the Most Lecherous Being in the Universe. . . .
And things would never be the same again.
LOL! I just love this scene ^_^