Subject: Re: [FFML] [fanfic][teaser][R.5/AMG]The Cinderella Singer
From: Anna Lvovsky
Date: 5/16/1999, 3:53 PM
To: James Eades
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

Comments on the Cinderella Fic--

by turning out the obligatory Ranmafic.  I propose
to produce one.  

Just a second--this story is really good and all, but how is it a Ranma
fic?
 
This is a teaser (maybe the intro) for a story I
haven't done yet 
(undone stories are always the best kind) because of
commitments 
to TAoMC. 

Well it's certainly seems like a good idea, and something I'd like to
see more of.  Even though I agree that undone stories are the best
kind, I hope you'll upgrade it from an undone story to an
almost-finished story soon.  

The fic is very well-written, funny, and the grammar is impeccable. 
The only part that is...less than impeccable is:

"In our data garden...." The goddess leaned toward >him to point out
the rows of information, which >exposed cleavage.

Who exactly is exposing cleavage here?  The rows of information or the
goddess?  Of course, you mean the goddess, but it reads a bit
strangely.

   Anyway, good job.

       Anna
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