Quicksilver <mbsilvana@yahoo.com> wrote:

Feedback is important, people!   This is an idea, and
if I don't get enough good feedback, I'll
discontinue....  so if you want the rest, lemme know!

First off, the standard speech: If you want a lot of feedback, the best
way to get it is to give a lot of it out.

Now, as for this fic... hard to say. It's a good beginning so far.
You've established the premise. Now the question is whether the story
*goes* anywhere; i.e., can you build it into a conflict, something that
we can watch Genma and the Tendos deal with?

The writing is good so far, and carries the story well. Be careful to
switch quote marks to the non-directional ascii ones, as the "smart
quotes" show up as blobs on many mailers.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html