At 11:04 PM 5/7/99 -0700, you wrote:
Date: Fri, 07 May 1999 00:15:02 -0400
From: Alan Harnum <harnums@thekeep.org>
Eidolons
Commentary is very much appreciated.
Oh, good. :)
By now, I probably don't have to state this, but I do it all the same. :)
As usual, I've snipped grammar corrections/suggestions, unless I had
specific replies to them.
Warning to those who would be warned: there be SPOILERS ahead!
Ware ye, those who have not yet read the full storyline!
He had been shown Ryoga killing Akane first.
It had been a total accident. Because she hadn't turned
around to yell at him, had only taken another step forward, and
the singing razor sharpness of Ryoga's belt as it whirled through
the air had sheared half her face off.
{eeek. What's amazing is that there are dozens of times in the manga
where someone escaped death or maiming by a fraction of a frame...
and they rarely comment on it.}
It's quite terrifying how genuinely close Akane came to being killed in
Ryoga's first fight with Ranma... a mere turning of her head likely
prevented her from being decapitated.
want to lie down on the ice and never move again. But he
couldn't even do that; he was completely in the thrall of the
Mirror-Lord and the worlds it showed him. So what if he was free
of the Neko-ken; any happiness would be fleeting. What a fool he
had been to care for such a thing; what a fool he had been to
care for anything, or for anyone. It no longer even mattered to
him if it ended or not. Let it continue, or let it stop, it made
no difference.
{Perhaps Ranma's been called a fool so often that he's built up
calluses on that particular insecurity?}
Well, yeah. But it's generally other people calling him a fool, not he
himself acknowledging it. :)
again. Tears leaked from his eyes and froze before they struck
the ice.
{I wonder what that sounds like...}
Probably rather strange.
The void began to fade out, until it was only a dark presence
upon the edges of his vision, and then it was gone altogether,
and he stood in his bare feet upon the dojo floor. It was
comfortingly familiar; from what his father had told him, the
dojo had been in the Tendo family for nearly a century. It would
probably be in it for a century more, and still look the same
then as it did now.
{Well, that depends on how often Ryouga, Shampoo, or Tarou come
to visit. :) }
I should probably modify this paragraph to add a few "relatively"'s. :)
By the light streaming in from behind the stiff waxed paper
covering the windows, the sun was just risen, and the household
would be rising with it. Kasumi would already be in the kitchen,
starting breakfast, and soon enough they all would gravitate
towards the table for the morning meal. And he would join them,
made whole, free from the curse.
{Well, one of them, anyway...}
Probably should state this in the sentence.
dead gods. With the return to her at the forefront of his
thoughts, he had made a pact with the cat-goddess to go into the
depths of the Mirror-Lord's domain, and he had emerged from that
place of horror with his mind opened and shaken, but unbroken.
{Shaken, but not stirred? :) }
Ack. No 007/Dreamlands crossover here, please. :)
If his life
with Akane might be short upon this earth next to the lifespan of
a star, or even one of the old gods who he knew lay sleeping and
waiting for the time when the coursings of the stars would bring
them into the proper places for the awakenening, then what of it?
They would be happy for a time, and then it would be the end.
{Maturity. Remarkable. BTW, this is what I meant by "love is, in
the end, the last defense against entropy" in C&Cing WUE 37; it
can't stop entropy, nothing can stop entropy, but it makes us go on
anyway. Not necessarily love of mate, mind you; love of children,
love of creation, love of country, etc. This theme runs all
through here, of course.}
<nod> Absolutely true. There's also the rather existential realization
that even in the face of an uncaring universe, we are free-willed beings
capable of making choices that affect, even to an infinitely small decree,
the universe itself.
The Mirror-Lord was
mightier than any of the young gods, and pettier still by far.
{Uh oh...}
<ominous chord>
of this, when the woman you have come back to has seen thirty
years go by while a day and night have passed for you, and the
weariness and sorrow of her eyes as she gazes upon you is too
much to bear. Ranma turned and ran back down the corridor, not
listening to Akane's shouts behind him, needing only to escape
from this into something else.
{"Come back here, Ranma! All the other fiancees have given up!
We can get married now!" :)
Gotta laugh, because otherwise I'd be crying. Ouch.}
I can't honestly say just what Akane would be shouting here... so much of
it depends upon what's gone by for her in those thirty years.
Ranma spoke with dry mouth, not wanting to believe.
"Cologne."
"Kannon," the goddess corrected. "Cologne is no more."
{Eeek. Gibber, wobble, thud. Now THAT I didn't see coming.}
The hints are there, but subtly... Cologne's inability to communicate
effectively to Ranma the dangers that he will face in the first chapter
make it clear that she too is somehow bound to the Mirror-Lord.
Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver apples of the moon
The golden apples of the sun.
-W.B. Yeats
{Goosebumps.}
I _love_ really appropriate quotes. :)
I suppose some people thought there was going to be a happy
ending because the first chapter made it clear that Ranma lives
through his initial adventures in the Dreamlands.
I don't think you're really comfortable with happy endings. :)
Not anymore, no. :)
(I'm hoping for a mostly-happy ending to WUE, but I'm not counting
on it.)
Wait and see. :)
This time, though, the ending is... artistically
satisfying. Ranma was playing with forces way out of his league,
and was lucky to escape with his life, his sanity, and his triumph;
his happiness (and, evidently, Akane's) was small change by
comparison.
Definitely.
On the other hand, I couldn't help thinking of this as the
penultimate resolve-the-relationships 'fic... the ultimate being
"Dies Irae".
Oh, I'm not sure... the ending of 'Dies Irae' is very definite in terms of
resolving the character relationships. 'Eidolons', OTOH, makes no such
effort, leaving the ending ambiguous and open to interpretation.
Well, no. That's not what I felt like this time. This is
not, of course, an "everybody dies" Lovecraft ending, but I think
it's in keeping with the lighter, more fantastical tone of the
Dreamlands stories. Human love is ultimately incredibly fragile
in the face of an uncaring universe and the malign powers of the
Mythos; nevertheless, there is hope.
And that's really what this is about, for me: Ranma never, ever
gives up. He keeps trying as long as he has breath and will.
Yup. He'll search the Land of Dreams until the end of his days, looking
for a way to pass through veil of time and regain what he has lost.
Whether he'll find it or not... I don't honestly know.
In the end, everything that lives dies, everything that exists is
destroyed, but we can't let that matter. What matters is not that we
will die, but that we can live, and love, and laugh; what matters is not
that a thing will be destroyed, but that it was created, and while it
existed, we delighted to see it, or dwelt comfortably in it, or
thoughtfully read it.
There is a Japanese term, "mono no aware", which expresses the idea that
true beauty is increased by the awareness of its transience. The
realization that "this too shall pass away" need not lead to nihilism and
rejection of the world, but rather to a new way of seeing the beauty of its
fragility.
Good work, Alan.
Thanks, Vince. Glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks for writing and sharing!
You too. Much obliged for the thoughtful commentary.
Ciao,
-Alan Harnum