Here's chapter four of Crossed Wires.  It will be at least a week before
chapter five is out.  Since I forgot to mention it last time #wods like
this# indicate panda signs.  All comments are welcome, and if anyone
wants to be a prereader it's not too late.  

This fanfic takes place immediately after volume 28.  It can be assummed
to replace later parts of the manga.  Now for a countinuity question. 
Does anyone know is Nodoka met Happosai prior to or during volume 28 of
the manga.

Disclaimer:      The characters and situations of Ranma 1/2 are owned by
Rumiko Takahashi and are used in this fanfic without permission.  That
doesn't really surprise anyone though does it.
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Chapter Four: A Day for Lechery
     It was early Sunday morning, but the Nekohanten was already active
as the staff prepared for the day.  "Great-granddaughter, why are you so
depressed?"
     "Ranma not come to visit, yesterday," the despondent amazon
replied.
     "How is that different from the day before, or the day before
that?"
     "Shampoo, see Ranma fighting pig-boy the night before.  Pig-boy use
new attack and almost beat Ranma.  He would have except he get wet."
     "I see.  You expected Ranma to come here for training.  Did anyone
else see this fight?"
     "No, only Shampoo."
     "Then there is a simple explanation.  Ranma wouldn't mind almost
losing, if no one knew about it."
     "Pig-boy not tell, because of his curse."
     "True.  However, I have a plan to take advantage of this."
     As Cologne outlined her plan, a grin formed on Shampoo's face.

     The residents of the Tendo dojo were also getting an early start.
The sight of two combatants fighting in mid-air was a familiar one.
However, the identity of the pair was a novelty.  The young girl
certainly wasn't unusual, however her foe wasn't the usual panda or
older man.  Instead, she faced a bandana wearing boy her own age.
     As the two exchanged blows, avoiding the koi pond by an unspoken
agreement, Nodoka Saotome watched disapprovingly.  This behavior was
hardly appropriate for a young girl.  The only bright spot was that
Ryoga didn't seem to mind his girlfriends behavior.
     Ranma was also unhappy with the way the fight was going, although
for a very different and unusual reason.  She was holding her own.  The
shorter reach of her female body and Ryoga's recent increase in skill
should have combined to give him a sizable advantage.  Instead, he
seemed to be holding back.  The thought that he wasn't taking her
seriously caused Ranma to redouble her efforts, but Ryoga just faded
back out of reach.
     "Ranko, Ryoga, breakfast is ready," Kasumi called.
     With a smile, Ryoga  turned and entered the house.  Ranma followed,
but not before glaring angrily at Ryoga's back.

     Breakfast that morning was less chaotic than usually, despite the
addition of Ryoga and Nodoka.  This could be attributed to Mr. Panda's
banishment from the kitchen
     "Is something wrong, Ranko?  You don't seem to be happy," Nodoka
asked in a concerned tone.  She hadn't missed the looks Ranko was giving
Ryoga, even though the boy seemed oblivious.  It was hardly a surprise
to her.  Men were hopeless in many ways.  Ryoga even seemed to treat
Ranko as if she was a boy at times.  Nodoka had to admit that that was
probably Ranko's fault, she was even more of a tomboy than her cousin.
     "I'm fine Auntie Saotome.  I just need to discuss something with
Ryoga, privately," Ranma growled.
     Nodoka nodded and returned to her meal.  It seemed that Ranko would
be able to deal with whatever was wrong herself, at least this time.

     Once the meal was finished, Ranma headed outside and motioned for
Ryoga to follow her.  She didn't want to risk her mother overhearing
their conversation.  The two walked silently down the street for several
minutes.  Finally, Ranma spoke.
     "What's the big idea holding back like that, Ryoga?"
     "Your mother thinks you're really a girl."
     "Thanks for pointing that out.  Now, why were you holding back?"
     "That's why.  It just wouldn't look right for me to beat up a
girl."
     "Well, I'm not going to let you get away with this," Ranma said
belligerently
     "We'll just have to practice when she's not around, or train
somewhere else."
     "Or we find a way to get her to move out.  I'm not spending the
rest of my life like this."
     Ryoga sighed, "Let me know when you have any ideas."
     "Let's go in there," Ranma said, pointing across the street.
     "An ice cream parlor?"
     "Yep, this always cheers me up.  Um, I'll pay you back, but I don't
have any money with me."
     "All right, I'll pay," Ryoga muttered disgustedly.  At least,
buying a little ice cream can't cost too much, he thought.

     "I'll have the triple chocolate parfait, with extra fudge ... and
peanuts."  As Ranma spoke, she smiled charmingly and batted her eyes at
the clerk.
     "I'll have a regular vanilla cone."  Ryoga scowled angrily, angered
both by Ranma's display and the cost of her order.
     "How can you stand to act like that?"
     "It's no big deal.  Besides, usually I get extra.  The clerk seemed
really tense today though."
     After the pair received their order, Ranma noticed a familiar face
sitting near the window.  "Hiroshi, how are you doing?  Who's your
friend?"
     "I'm doing just fine, Ranma.  This is-"
      The girl sitting beside Hiroshi cut in, "Sayuri."  When Ranma
continued to look blank she elaborated, "I'm a friend of Akane's."
       "Oh yeah, I've seen you before.  Both of you probably know
Ryoga."
       At that, Hiroshi glanced at Ryoga, who'd remained in the
background.  "Now that you mention it, I do recognize him.  Well, we
really should be going."
      "We just finished eating, Hiroshi.  We can stay for a while."
      "No, remember you wanted to visit Yuka today.  It's nice meeting
you, Ryoga.  Good-bye."
      "Uh, yeah.  I'll be seeing you," Ryoga answered uncertainly, as he
watched Hiroshi lead a reluctant, Sayuri away.  "Excitable friend you've
got there, Ranma."
      "He's not usually like that.  What are you waiting for?  Lets sit
down."
      As Hiroshi and Sayuri exited, a young man passing by outside
noticed Ranma, and swiftly entered.  He then proceeded to the table
where Ranma sat.
     "My pig- tailed princess, we meet again.  I know how your lips have
longed to meet mine once more."  When Ranma heard those words, her heart
lurched and her stomach churned.  Only one person would speak those
words.  Mikado Sanzenin, martial arts figure skater and lecher
extraordinaire.
     As Mikado leaned forward to kiss a horrified Ranma, Ryoga crushed
his ice cream cone into the side of Mikado's face.
     "Who dares?  You!  The man responsible for the only blemish on my
perfect record."
     "That's right, you pervert."
     "You have some claim upon the pig-tailed princess.  Very well, I
challenge you to a duel of martial arts roller blading."
     "I accept."
     "The match will take place at Kolkoz High in one week.  The winner
will have the right to date the pig-tailed princess.  And now..."  This
time when Mikado attempted kiss her, Ranma was ready and punted him
through the roof.
     "Since you've agreed to fight a duel with Mikado over me, without
asking permission, I have one question."
     "Okay, what is it?"
     "Have you learned how to skate yet?"
     "No, but it doesn't matter.  This is a martial arts roller blading
match."
     Ranma stared at the boy across from her in disgust.  "Lets get out
of here, Ryoga.  I don't feel like eating anymore."

     Nodoka sighed in relief.  Since Ranko wasn't here and Akane was
busy training, she had a chance to find out a little bit more about
Ranko.  "Kasumi, does Ranko have any other clothes?  Those chinese
outfits she's always wearing don't even fit."
     "I think she does have one dress Auntie."
     "Really, just one?  I think I'd better have a look at her clothes."

     "I-I'm not so sure that would be a good idea."
     "Nonsense, it won't do any harm."  Ignoring Kasumi's half hearted
attempts to dissuade her, Nodoka marched up the stairs and into Akane's
room.
     Opening Akane's closet, Nodoka found a large array of dresses.
However, only one was amongst the small assortment of boy's clothing
that occupied one corner of the closet.  Turning her attention to the
dresser, Nodoka's shock increased.  She'd know that Ranko seldom wore a
bra, but was surprised to find that Ranko apparently didn't own any.
Even worse, it seemed that she wore boy's boxer shorts.  There was a
swimsuit, but it had "Boy" printed across the front.  It was clear to
Nodoka that, Ranko needed more than a little help with her wardrobe.
     Hearing a noise behind her, Nodoka turned to find Kasumi entering
the room.
     "Do you know why Ranko got that dress?" Nodoka asked.
     "I believe it was because of Ryoga."
     Nodoka smiled, it seemed that there was hope for Ranko.  "Thank
you, Kasumi.  That was just the answer I was hoping for."
     As Nodoka left, Kasumi's normally placid expression became tinged
with worry.  She knew that Nodoka meant well, but this was still going
to be trouble.  Ranma and Ryoga were simply not a suitable couple.

     "So, roller blading is like skating, except you don't use skates
and there's no ice."  It was obvious from Ryoga's tone that he didn't
fully grasp the concept.
     "Right.  Now look, you can't tell anyone about this duel.  People
would probably get the wrong idea.  Luckily, it's being held at Kolkoz
High.  If we handle this right, no one will find out."
      "I'm just glad, I don't have to deal with Mikado's partner."
      "What's the matter Charlotte?  Don't you miss little Azusa?"
      "You should be nicer to me Ranma.  After all, you've got more at
stake with this fight than I do."
As Ranma and Ryoga turned to enter the Tendo's, a small wizened figure
went flying past them.
     "Aw man, I forgot Happosai was coming back today."
     "Keep your hands off of me, you geriatric pervert!" a strident
voice shouted from within.
     "Akane, how can you bear to be so cruel to a poor old man?"
Happosai looked up, tears shining in his eyes.  "Ranma, you'll comfort
me.  Won't you?"  Happosai was suddenly attached to Ranma's chest, like
some exceptionally repulsive leech.
     "Agh!  Let go of me, you freak!"  Her face twisted in revulsion
Ranma smashed the diminutive lecher into the ground.
     "You'll pay for assaulting, Akane, old man.  Bakusai Tenketsu!"
Ryoga struck the ground beside Happosai, the resulting explosion hurled
Happosai into the air.  "So much for him."
     Ryoga was suddenly sent flying, as Happosai appeared behind him.
"Seems to me, you boys need to be taught a lesson.   Happo Bean Jam Blow
Out!"
     A whirlwind picks both Ranma and Ryoga up and blows them down the
street.  "That'll teach you to attack the grand master of anything goes
martial arts."  Happosai then bounces happily back into the house.
     A short distance away two young martial artists sat up, spitting
out dirt.  "Nobody treats Ryoga Hibiki like that, and gets away with
it!"
     "I'm with you on this one.  Lets get the freak."

     Inside the dojo, Nodoka was confronting a strange intruder.  "Who
are you and how dare you fondle my son's fiancee in such a manner?" she
demanded indignantly.
     "You must be Nodoka Saotome, Genma's wife.  I'm Happosai, your
husband's teacher.  Now that the introductions are finished, we should
get to know one another better."
     Happosai leapt towards Nodoka, but was intercepted by a pig-tailed
blur.  "Stay away from her!" Ranma screamed in rage.
     With a flick of his pipe, Happosai sent Ranma hurtling into the
wall.  "An impressive effort, but you'll have to do better than that,
Ran-."
     "Shi Shi Houkoudan!"  Ryoga's ki blast sent Happosai sailing
through the house's wall.  Ryoga immediately dove through the hole after
him, with Ranma only a split second behind.
     Outside, both immediately dived for cover, as they noticed several
small objects falling around them.  The explosion and smoke, from
Happosai's bombs,  blinded them momentarily.  Happosai took advantage
of this to slam Ryoga into the ground.
     "Moko Takahashi!"
     Turning towards the sound of Ranma's voice, Happosai cupped his
hands together, and a pale red beam sprang from them.  The beam collided
with the sphere generated by Ranma's attack, and then continued onward.
Even though the beam's force had been diminished, its impact still
stunned Ranma.
     "Die!"
     Happosai easily ducked under Ryoga's blow, and catching his wrist
slammed him into the ground once more.
     "What's the matter?  Can't you youngsters keep up with a feeble old
man?"
     "Just try me, gramps," Ranma retorted as she rose from her knees.
     The two martial artists met in a flurry of punches and kicks, but
soon, Ranma was forced to retreat.
     Many of those observing the fight were dismayed by this turn of
events.
     "This is terrible, the master is defeating them both."  Soun Tendo
looked like he was on the verge of breaking down.
     #Don't worry, Tendo.  Look at the spiral pattern they're forming,#
the panda standing behind him, signed.
      "But, the master isn't generating enough of a battle aura for that
attack to succeed."
      "My, that certainly is an unusually intelligent panda," Nodoka
observed, glancing over at the pair.
      #No, I'm not.  I'm just an ordinary panda."
      "I wouldn't worry, Auntie Saotome.  It's just like a parrot.  It
doesn't really understand the words," Nabiki replied as she sipped her
drink.
      Meanwhile, Ryoga had rejoined the fight and the three were locked
in a close quarters battle, still moving in a spiral.  When they reached
the center of the spiral, Ranma struck.
      "Hiryu Shoten Ha!"
      "Nice try, cutie, but I'm not-"  As Happosai's word were cut off
by the rising wind, Ryoga desperately leapt to safety.  A huge funnel
formed, and sucked Happosai high into the air.
      "Happosai wasn't generating any heat.  How was that possible?"
Akane wondered.
      "Simple, Ryoga was generating even more than usual.  I didn't
think those two had the brains to pull something like that off."  Her
explanation finished, Nabiki took another sip of her drink.
      "Oh my, I hope grandfather Happosai isn't hurt."  If any one
noticed that Kasumi's smile appeared ever so slightly insincere, they
were too busy staring at the panda and the mustached man exchanging
high-fives to comment.
      High in the air, a tiny dot began to grow larger, and eventually
resolved itself into Happosai's form, which crashed into the ground.

     That night, after the most urgent repairs had been finished, and
the general merriment had died down, Ryoga, and Ranma were having a
quiet discussion on the roof.
     "I've got to admit, we make a good team, Ryoga."
     "Doesn't surprise me.  Did you see what happened to Happosai?"
     "No.  I guess he crawled off while Pop and Mr.Tendo where looking
for chains."
     "I don't like not knowing where he is."
     "I wouldn't worry about it.  My bet is, that since we beat him
straight out this time, he won't come back."
     Ryoga looked doubtful.  "Do you really believe that?"
     "Not a chance."
     "That's about what I figured.  We'll be seeing him again."
     "Don't worry.  Together we can beat anyone."

     Inside, Akane was troubled by a vague feeling of unease.  Usually
she would have been the one fighting beside Ranma.  Her thoughts
drifted, wondering what Ranma and Ryoga could be talking about.  She
realized that before the past few days with Ryoga, Ranma had never
really talked to anyone.  Not even her.
     Nabiki was sitting in her room, with a pair of headphones on.  She
could have answered, Akane's questions.  Unfortunately, she was too busy
wondering just how to edit the conversation, for the most interesting
results.

End Chapter Four