ok, this is a weird one.
i was mentioning to Bruce the bit about
Genma=Pooh, and he thought that was funny but not
really appropriate for Genma. Still, we started
throwing ideas about... we both thought that
Ryouga made a perfect "Eeyore" and as result this
just had to be written.
insert standard disclaimer. i don't own these
characters, etc, etc. this is just written to be
amusing, no higher meanings, just a one-shot brief
look at a possible alterniverse where things are
_really_ screwed up.
     now for the bad news (this'll be good news
for Kleppe, Rgorman, Razorclaw, and a number of
others.) i expect to have no internet access soon.
things are really looking bad for the 'puter here,
and money used fixing it won't see anything left
for telephone deposits. So for a month at least...
     so long, and thanks for all the fish.
======================
OH, POOH!
an unserious brief snicker by
metroanime@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/
======================
 "<HEY YOU!>"

 Ryouga pointed at himself. "I'm sorry, I don't
speak Chinese."

 "<Come on, get in the bus, damnit. Geez, you're
holding up the whole tour group. Damn foreign
driver. Doesn't help that you all look alike.>"

 "Uhm," Ryouga said as the fellows directed him to
the driver's seat of the bus. "Errr. I have to go
catch Ranma Saotome for missing our duel. And I
don't know how to drive."

 "<Geez, you haven't been drinking again, have
you? Damn foreigners.>"

 Ryouga frowned and looked up as someone stepped
nearby. Only to come to a slack-jawed halt as he
stared up into the face of the gorgeous gaijin in
front of him.

 "Aw, come on, honey, let's get this show on the
road!"

 His mind a pleasant daze from watching the way
the girl's body bounced, Ryouga didn't even
realize that he was driving the bus until they
were three miles down the road.

 The real bus driver, passed out with a bottle in
his arms, didn't notice. That Ryouga had a chance
to be reunited with his father was completely
missed. That the tour bus wasn't even supposed to
be in China was likewise unknown to Ryouga, but it
turned up enough that the gas station was kind of
used to it by now.

--------------------
 The Jusenkyo Guide came out of his hut and
wondered how the heck someone had gotten a tour
bus here. This was Jusenkyo, after all, in the
Bayankala mountain range. Steep mountains,
torturous narrow paths with sudden drop offs, rope
bridges over otherwise impassable ravines.

 The Guide shrugged. "<Why ask why?>"

 The group forming in front of the bus looked like
a truly mixed  lot. Foreign tourists from their
clothes and appearance, most of them. Americans in
their motley clothing, Japanese wearing western
clothing with nonsense English slogans and
festooned with cameras, Arabics wearing hooded
robes and with the women veiled, even a pair of
mufti-wearing Africans. And about thirty kids
carrying various stuffed animals.

 "Never have such diverse group come to Jusenkyo,"
admitted the Guide in a soft voice. He continued
in a louder voice, using Japanese (poor), English
(even worse) a moment later, and following up with
French (don't ask) in the off hope that at least
one common language could be used. Fortunately the
"California" looking girl seemed to be able to
translate for the others.

 Things were going well, with cameras clicking and
the muted buzz of whispered translations as the
Guide began explaining the Cursed Springs. Of
course, things could not continue this way. It all
started with one little girl dropping her stuffed
donkey into a spring and Ryouga reaching in to
grab it.

--------------MUCH LATER------------
 "You looked at me in the nude, you... PERVERT!"

 The short individual looked back at Akane. "And
your point is?"

 Akane's eyes narrowed. "What did you say? Are you
trying to imply that you didn't see anything?"

 Ranma guffawed. "I saw everything that was there.
I just don't see what you're making the big fuss
about. I didn't see anything particularly
interesting, just you coming in without clothes.
So what was the big deal?"

 Akane turned pale, then (as if a tide had
reversed) turned scarlet. "You... you... you..."
The table came up as Ranma turned his head,
ignoring the angry girl.

 The table came slamming down. It seemed to
momentarily flatten Ranma before a massive recoil
took place. The table shot into the next room,
dragging Akane along behind it. The sound of a
massive impact and a startled yelp came
simultaneously. Fortunately it was off-camera so
as not to offend anyone.

 "Well, that she had coming," suggested Nabiki.
"Ranma, could you do your song again to remind
dear sister why a shot to the head isn't
effective?"

 "Deeee-lighted, Nabiki-chan!" Ranma gave a
somewhat idiotic grin back to Nabiki, and even
bounced around the yard and dining room in time to
his song. Kasumi and Nabiki were amused, Soun and
Genma made a pledge to get roaringly drunk later.
Akane sulked.

 "The head is a'made of the rubber,
                     the bottom is made a' the
springs,
                     we're bouncy, bouncy, bouncy,
bouncy,
                     fun, fun, fun, fun, fun,
                     but the most beautiful thing
about Ranmas,
                     is I'm the only one.

                     I'm the only one."

 Akane was grateful for that at least.
=========================
and yes, the tour bus stopped at a few strange
places where the passengers picked up souveneirs.
Genma > Daffy Duck
Ryouga > Eeyore
Ranma > Tigger, get him drunk and it's
rum-tum-tigger

nasty terrible horrible shortfic. yes, it's meant
to be silly. no, it is not meant to be taken
seriously though if a statue could lead to Rouge's
curse then a stuffed Pooh bear could result in...

a terrible tragic story, ne?
ja ne,

gregg

i'll prob put out one more shortfic using the
Ryouga Tour Bus simply because the concept is too
bizarre and amusing not to use it at least once
more...
=============================================
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/
metroanime@mindspring.com
"still searching, still dreaming, still alone."
                         -N.Brazil, "Midnight at
the Well of Souls"