It's short, it's lame, it's another stupid spamfic by Miko

And it's been edited.  Noticed a couple of glaring mistakes....

Black Magic 101
M A Davis / Miko
plot help from Todd Smith, William Morse, Sky Rigdon, Keith
Alan Johnson, and Jeff Cornish



        Hikaru Gosunkugi finished the arcane chant and held his
breath.

        Nothing seemed to happen.  He glanced again at his "Cliff
Notes Guide To the Necronomicon", just to be certain he'd done
everything correctly.

        Pentagram:  check.  True, it wasn't drawn in blood, or
saltpeter, or even chalk, but at least the Hello Kitty magic sparkly
marker (the one that smells like blue) had worked reasonably
well.  He had more than enough candles set up -- six times as
many a required, to be precise.  Would too many candles spoil
the spell?  Hikaru shrugged the thought off, certain that you
could never have too many candles.

        That left just the arcane chant.  True, he wasn't entirely clear
on how to pronounce whatever language the words were written
in, but at least he'd spoken it loudly and plainly.  That counted for
something, didn't it?

        Suddenly the temperature in the room dropped, and the
lights dimmed.  Within the encircled pentagram, smoke began to
swirl, and then form into a recognizable shape.  Moments later,
the demon stood before Hikaru, ready to do his bidding.

        Actually, it didn't so much stand, as float.  Hikaru blinked,
staring at the creature.  He'd been expecting something more...
well, more Lovecraftian, to be honest.  But at least it had horns....

        The green-haired girl in the tiger-striped bikini blinked back
at him in confusion.  "Where am I?" she asked.  "Who are you?
How did I get here?"

        "You wouldn't, by chance, be a demon?" Hikaru asked.

        "An oni," the girl corrected.  She smiled brightly.  "Is there
something I can help you with?"

***

        Hikaru redrew the pentagram carefully, using a piece of
stolen school chalk.  He studied it, then nodded to himself
in satisfaction.  Yes, that looked much, much better.

        He arranged the candles, being certain to not use more
than necessary.  With even more care, he chanted the ancient
words, with careful, precise pronunciation.

        He finished, and waited.  A full ten seconds passed, then the
temperature dropped.  The light dimmed.  The smoke swirled,
and formed into a new, and hopefully better, demon.

        Hikaru cursed softly to himself.  This one didn't even have
horns.

        The green-haired girl floated in the air and regarded Hikaru
with a very annoyed expression.

        "I nearly had Tenchi to myself," she growled.  "This had
better be good."


***

        Blood dripped from Hikaru's palm, mixing with the saltpeter
that formed the lines on the floor.  Candles of pure beeswax
burned at each point of the pentagram -- Hikaru had blown a
good portion of his savings on them.  He glanced again at his
pronunciation notes, painstakingly copied from an ancient tome
found at the downtown Tokyo library.

        This time, Hikaru thought, he had everything right.  And, as
he chanted the words, he could feel the truth of that statement.
His entire body radiated with eldrich power.  As he finished the
last word of the spell, hope surged through him.  This time, it was
going to work!

        The temperature dropped.  The lights dimmed.  The smoke
swirled, and the humanoid demon formed....

        This one didn't have green hair.  It didn't float.  It wasn't
even female.

        It was... well, mundane.

        The young man wore a white shirt, a black tie, and black
slacks.  He was good looking, Hikaru supposed, but resembled
not so much a demon, as a... high school teacher.

        The man looked about the room, arching an eyebrow.
"Demon summoning is a very dangerous undertaking," he said.
He smirked, then bowed deeply.  "Meisuke Nueno, at your
service," he said, "but you can call me Nube Sensei."

        "Nube... Sensei?" Hikaru repeated, his hopes falling.  "Then
you're not a demon either?"

        "Well," the teacher said, holding up a gloved hand.  "Part of
me is...."

***

        Hikaru tossed his Cliff Notes book into the garbage, along
with his other magic paraphernalia.  "That settles it," he said.
"Magic is no way to gain riches and power."  He glanced again at
his newly-purchased book:  'Java For Dummies'.  "My future's in
programming, definitely!"



FINI


Written at the Tai-Pan party at Norwescon 22 while watching the con
Masquerade on television.  Jeff and I got to meet William Morse, fellow
FFML'er and fanfic author.  ^_^  Friend Todd Smith, onetime English teacher
in Japan and therefore onetime supplier of anime, said that I should have
had Hikaru summon Urd, along with the rat.  He's probably right.  ^_^  Now,
I'm off to the Baka-con party!  C-ya!

Miko