This is a spamfic idea that I've had for a while, but it seemed like now was
a good time to write it.
--------------
    "It's _what_?" yelled Akane.

    "It's the Mirror of Misfortune", explained the old proprietor.  "If you
reflect light from it onto another person, you can transfer all your
misfortunes over to that person.  But there's a story associated with it.  You
never quite get what you hope for."

    "It twists things?  Like a really perverted genie?"

    "Not really."

    "Then I'll take it."  Akane plunked down a handful of yen and walked out
with the trinket.

                                   * * * * *

    Now, who to use it on.  Hmm, Shampoo?  No, thought Akane.  The last time
she deliberately went up against Shampoo, it ended in disaster.  She had
even grown _whiskers_.  Kodachi hadn't caused much trouble lately, and Akane
couldn't bring herself to get jealous of Ranma and Miss Hinako _again_.

    Of course, she thought.  The answer was sitting just a few seats away from
her in the classroom.  "Hey, Ukyou, look here", said Akane, reflecting the
mirror onto her when she looked.  The mirror shattered, and Ukyou looked at it,
puzzled, then returned to taking notes.

                                   * * * * *

    "The Dojo Yaburi!?"  Soun cried as he read the threat notice.  "We're going
to have a big repair bill again!  We can't afford this!"

    Indeed they couldn't.  Akane wondered if that counted as a misfortune, and
if the mirror was going to have any effect.  Maybe Ukyou could fight those
constant challenges instead of her; after all, she _was_ a martial artist.  She
left the house for school, waiting a moment for Ranma to swallow his breakfast
and catch up with her.

    A student who seemed at first to be a boy ran up from the distance, but
Akane soon recognized as Ukyou, in her boys' uniform.  "Ran-chan, tell
everyone I won't be at school today.  Something came up."

    "What came up, Ucchan?" asked Ranma.

    "The Dojo Yaburi.  He's going around beating up the martial artists in the
city again.  The Ucchan isn't a dojo but it does have a sign and I am a martial
artist and I practice my art there and he did mention it...."

    "Let me at him", replied Ranma.

    "No, Ran-chan, you'll be late.  Hours late if you come to help me."

    "It's nuthin'.  I'm not gonna let some dumb Dojo Yaburi destroy your place."

    Akane threw a convenient bucket of water at Ranma and said "Fine, Ranma.
Go help your cute fiancee.  I'm going to class."

                                   * * * * *

    Ranma and Ukyou ran into the classroom.

    "It's 11:30 AM", said Miss Hinako.  "You're late.  I've never heard of
a student being that late before.  Out in the hall."  She tossed pre-prepared
buckets of water at them, which the two martial artists nimbly caught without
spilling anything.

    "So how'd it go?", whispered Akane to Ranma.

    "We musta practiced more martial arts than he did.  We beat him."

    "Ran-chan and I make a great team when we work together!" whispered Ukyou.

    "How dare you try to..."  said Akane, and suddenly stopped.  She probably
already spoke enough that Miss Hinako would send her out into the hall.  Akane
quickly faced forwards and hoped that Miss Hinako hadn't noticed her.  Somehow,
this perennial misfortune didn't happen to her today.

                                   * * * * *

    Akane heard some sounds from the hall.  She suddenly recalled what happened
a long time ago when it was her and Ranma in the hall, on their first day at
school.  It was one of the first chances she and Ranma had ever had to really
talk, not that that baka would say much.  And when the word "fiancee" had been
spoken after Kunou arrived, everyone had heard.

    "... you _are_ my fiancee..."

    That was Ranma's voice!  Did everyone hear it?  But this time, no crowd of
students had stuck their heads in the hallway.

    "... only ever really talked like this before with Akane...  things always
_happen_ so it's like that, Ucchan..."

    "... I'm not going to threaten you with that bucket of water, Ran-chan..."

    "... still want to be your friend, Ucchan.  I missed that..."

    By that time, Akane's curiosity and anger got the best of her and she
stormed out to confront her fiancee and that... person.  Ten years or not, she
was an interloper.  How dare she interfere after Akane and Ranma had been
through so much together?  Fortunately, the bell rang at that time, and Akane
escaped Miss Hinako's wrath completely as everyone, including Ranma and Akane,
got out their bentos and had lunch.

                                   * * * * *

    When class was finally dismissed, Akane spotted the principal by the door.
He was hidden in the shadows with a clipper in his hands, but his loud shirt
was a glowing beacon to all who passed.  What was he up to?  His hair-cutting
spree had been stopped by Ranma, but then he had announced new hairstyles that
were as bad as the old ones.  Luckily he had never followed up on that...
until, most likely, now.

    Akane ducked.  The principal completely ignored her.  Of course.  Her hair
was rather short.  It didn't fit the style, but still, he must have decided to
go after an easier victim first.

    "<Hello girl!>" said the principal.  "<Oh my god!>  You're violating the
school hair code, the new hair code you can't get away with any more!"

    Hmph, thought Akane.  The principal is nuts.  She sped away from the
building, glancing back at the principal's victim.  Ukyou.

    As the principal brought his shears down on Ukyou's long ponytail, Akane
wondered why the principal had suddenly noticed Ukyou's hair.  The last time,
the principal had threatened and kidnapped Akane while completely failing to
notice Ukyou's much longer hair...  Oh.  It must be that Misfortune Mirror!
For once, Akane _wasn't_ going to be the victim.  But upon this realization,
something gnawed at the back of Akane's mind.  Because she had to admit to
herself that the incident brought her and Ranma closer together....

    Ranma, of course, kicked the principal's shears away.  But this stopped
him for about the five seconds necessary to pull out another, which Ukyou
parried with a miniature spatula.

    Akane sighed and went home without Ranma.

                                   * * * * *

    Ranma yawned and walked to the table for breakfast.

    Nodoka smiled at him.  "Good morning, Ranma."

    "Good morning...."

    "Oh, don't be surprised.  I'm in the area again and I'll be visiting for a
few weeks.  Right, husband?" she said to the panda beside her, who growled and
held up a sign reading "I had no choice".

    "Umm, I have to go, Mom.  It's Ucchan."  He held up a note attached to a
pineapple.  "I found this thrown through my window.  The principal kidnapped
her and unless I want her to go bald, I have to give him my ponytail.  I think
I'm gonna just beat him up enough that he puts it off for another year again."

    "Ucchan?" wondered Nodoka.

    Akane snorted.  Of course, Ranma's mother had never really met Ukyou.
They'd barely even been in the same room together.  Akane wondered if that
magic talisman was still working.  Nodoka meant well, but she'd caused a lot
of worry for everyone in the household.  Why, just because of her, Ranma had
even been induced to embarrass Akane publically by cooking better than her.
Everyone had had a good laugh about that later, but still.

    "Er", replied Ranma, "we knew each other ten years ago and we became friends
again yesterday and the principal kidnapped her because he said I'd have to
rescue my fiancee..."

    "Fiancee?" said Nodoka.  The panda cowered.

    "Yeah, my old man engaged me to her ten years ago.  It's nuthin', Mom.  I
mean, really."

    "_You_ and _me_ and this _Ucchan_ are going to have a talk together", said
Nodoka.  Ranma gulped.

                                   * * * * *

    "My prized pineapple plant!" yelled the principal.  "<Hey boy, let it go!>"

    "If you don't give my fiancee back and exempt me and her from all hair
codes forever, I'm gonna destroy it.  And then get Ucchan back anyway."

    "Hey!" yelled Akane, running into the jungle-like room as the principal
cowered and begin to untie Ukyou.  "What about me?"

    "Oh, sorry", said Ranma.  "He should exempt you too, Akane."

    "You just had 'Ucchan' on your mind lately, is that it?"

    "It's no big deal!  I was thinking about her because I had to rescue her
right now.  I forgot you were here."

    "Forget this." said Akane, and malleted the pineapple plant, splashing Ranma
with juice and leaf fragments.

                                   * * * * *

    "Ranma!" exclaimed Nodoka as Ranma rushed in hand in hand with Ukyou.
"Why are you a girl now? And why do you smell like pineapple?"

    "Gotta change", he said, and left Ukyou to talk to Nodoka while he left
for the bathroom.

    "Can you cook, Ukyou-san?" asked Nodoka.  Of course, Ukyou could, but
Akane noted with satisfaction that Ukyou was looking very nervous nevertheless.

    "Sure", replied Ukyou.  "May I use your kitchen?"

    The panda put up a sign reading "No.  Hungry Saotomes need the food."
In a second, though, the sign was cut in half with a very sharp katana, and
Nodoka pointed out to Ukyou various locations in the kitchen.

    Akane watched as inconspicuously as she could, and felt relieved when Ukyou
confused the flour and the salt in her nervousness.

    Ranma seemed to have noticed the problem, but any attempt to intervene was
met by a katana blade.  "I'm testing her, not you.  Men don't need to know
how to cook", said Nodoka.

    When the concoction turned black on the griddle, Ukyou realized her
mistake, but it was too late.  "Now, to taste it", said Nodoka.  Ukyou nodded,
and Ranma suddenly "tripped" on a puddle of spilled water, landing his face
right on Nodoka's plate.  Akane giggled; Ranma did look funny with black
mismade okonomiyaki hanging on his nose.

    "Now I have to get another one", said Nodoka.  "You really should be more
careful."

    The comedy of errors proceeded for several minutes as Ranma and Ukyou
thought up more and more insane ways to keep the food away from Nodoka's
mouth.  They tripped several times.  Once, Ranma and Ukyou jointly pushed the
panda into the food, and another time they "accidentally" put the plate of
bad okonomiyaki right down in an open flame.

    "Well", said Nodoka, "I hardly expected that there wouldn't be any food
left to eat!  But that's okay.  We can do this some other day.  Why don't you
walk Ukyou home, Ranma, since it's dark out and not safe for a girl."  At
that, something started to bother Akane again.

                                   * * * * *

    "It's just you and me", said Ukyou.  "Ran-chan..."

    "This feels so strange, Ucchan."

    "Strange?"

    "I dunno.  Usually it's me and Akane, me and Akane, in these things.  It's
never really been you and me.  We argue and we try to make up, or we do
something together with a fight in it and we look at each other after it's
all over and sometimes I say how pretty her dress is or we look at the stars."

    "If I had a dress on now would you say that?"

    "I guess."  Ranma pointed upwards.  "We have stars if you want to look at
those, Ucchan.  You know, until the last two days it was like I was being
forced together with Akane."

    "By your dad?  He's completely incompet-- oh, sorry, Ranma."

    "Sorry?  For insulting Pop?  Hah, you're right about him.  I didn't mean
that.  I meant that it's like the gods did it.  Put us together so many times
doing so much stuff that we feel we should be together as, you know, just
because we've been together doing everything else."

    "But something must have happened", said Ukyou.

    "Maybe the gods changed their minds.  I hope you don't get kidnapped too
much now, Ucchan.  It must really suck.  Oh, something else used to happen with
Akane too."

    "Hmm?"

    "After we had a few quiet moments, it got interrupted most of the ti--"

    Akane stormed out of the bushes while picking up a park bench, and waved
the ungainly object menacingly at the two.

    "Ran-chan, I think we'd better go", said Ukyou.

    "Yeah", said Ranma, picking his fiancee up in his arms and leaping away
towards the Ucchan.  Akane tossed the bench at them, then went home sulking
more than she ever had before, knowing that this time she had lost Ranma for
real.