If you think one of the people mentioned below is a copyrighted character, then they belong to whomever holds that right...but I'm not mentioning names!  ^_^

Enjoy!

Alandra.

***********

The Neriman Businessman

I'm a businessman, pure and simple.  I've been called a buccaneer in trade...or was that a pirateer..oh, well, I can be any kind of tier you want, baby...

OW!  Hey, what'd you do that for?!  Oh, well, she had a fat ass..never did like brunettes anyway.  You're still here, anyway...whatever good that'll do, you look like you're living off of videos or something, it's sickening.  Oh, no, nothing.  I was just saying how WELL you look today!

Now, as I was saying, I'm a... DAMN kids!  That was my best shirt you just got filth all over!  Look at that idiot, with that pigtail...looks like a girl...  I'll bet he's one of those weirdos who are really in touch with their "feminine" side.  That girl who was following him is man enough for the two of them.  Kami, how they raise 'em these days.  In my day, women were demure, sweet young things, now you've got OGRES running about.  That girl ought to be committed. Now, I was having dinner with my dear, and well-respected friend,who's a high school principal, very wealthy, posh, up and up, and his lovely daughter was just EXACTLY like one had in the old days.  Quiet, lovely, a perfect conversationalist, showing interest in what the men did.  Why, I was talking about hunting, and the various deadly darts those barbarians in Hokkaido use, and she paid very rapt attention, just like a woman should.  I bet that girl there wouldn't know the difference between a hammer and a table.

Now, where was I?  Hmm?  Don't be silly, I'm not a privateer, that would mean I'm out to cheat you of your money!  I'm a business man, with a sweet, sweet proposition for you!

...Kami, does that boy have FANGS?!  Don't tell me it's halloween again... I simply can't approve of all this Westernization.  It's perverting our society.  You know, I do believe that last halloween, I saw at least two cats, a duck, and a little black pig.  The things kids do to contort themselves into grotesque shapes!  And what in the name of my ancestors does that boy need with an umbrella that big?! He's not looking where he's going, he's liable to poke someone with that thing.  I'm telling you, that umbrella could be used as a dangerous weapon!  

Kids these days.  Sir, you can just see our society falling apart. Why, there's just no respect for the old ways!  While I was at my friend's house, you know, the one that's really wealthy and upperclass, a _very_ dear friend, his son, a very noble samurai, destined to carry on the family tradition, came home bruised and bloody because some ignoble idiot blocked his courtship of a lovely maiden.  Where were the days when mere peasants had their heads loped off for just speaking contrary to their superior?!  Now, I can't say I approve of not going through a proper medium, the go-between and what not, but these are modern times, after all.

What?  Ah, yes!  My apologies, sir, I get so emotional over the decay of our society.  My proposal is this, a sweet little apartment, cozy for two, yet comfy for one!, in a nice area of town.  The neighboors are a lovely little family.  A father and two children.  The mother is...away most of the time.  Work,  I understand.  They have a few teeny-tiny minor eccentricies, but I say those cat ears make the girl look cute.  She's very...full figured, you know, heh heh.  And so bright and happy. only10000yenperday.  

Yes, sir, I said only 10,000 yen! Just  sign right here!  Never mind about the fine print... that just an insurance policy...Hmm?  Ah, yes, just give me the contract, I'll put it in a nice safe place.  I'm moving to Hawaii, my friend...why yes, the posh one!  You remembered!  It does the heart good to know that the youth of Dai Nippon care about their elders.  Yes, I'm afraid I had to move...i couldn't stand the noise, missiles, and excess number of cats...  Hm? Oh, no, I was JUST saying about how this young society is just wearing my poor old soul down.  It seems like everyone you meet these days is a teenager.

Thank you sir, and you'll be hearing from me soon!  sucker... Hm? I was just saying how much it sucks that I'm leaving this wonderful apartment to you, though I'm sure you'll enjoy it very much.  I have absolutely no doubt as to the degree of your emotions.

Sayonara!


***

1.  The "barbarians" in Hokkaido are the Ainu.
2.  I was told Nuku-Nuku was set in Nerima, but I assumed she lived in an apartment.


I don't know who owns NukuNuku, but Takahashi Rumiko owns the other crazy Neriman kids.

If I misused, mis-spelled, or otherwise mistreated the Japanese language, I apologize, and beg ignorance.

Alandra.