Greetings, folks.

Well, I did it again.  I know, I know, I promised I wouldn't, but the voices wouldn't stop!

Ahem.

The idea for this was floating around for a bit, and came to the forefront while I was writing "Ranma 1/2: American Vacation", which I'm still working on.  Can we say 'writers block'?  I thought so...  I hereby apologize to the FFML for posting a teaser for "Vacation" (at the time it was untitled) and then not following it up for three weeks.  Honest, I'm working on it.

Anyway, I took time off in the middle of "Vacation" to play around with this and nail down the basic outline.  I've spent the past few days cleaning it up, establishing dialogue, and most importantly, tightening the plot!  (Man, were there some major holes in that puppy! ;)

With all that said, here it is.  I haven't decided if this is a one-shot as well or if it will lead somewhere in the future... you'll be the first to find out, I'm sure.  Allow me to introduce Chapter One of "Ranma 1/2: Dangerous Lies".

Chapter Two will be out (hopefully) within a week or so.

I should note that this story will have a significantly lower 'silliness' factor than "Vacation".  It'll still have the canon Ranma 1/2-style bumps, bangs, crunches, and cracks, but it focuses much more on characters than on events.  Hope you enjoy it.

Thanks to Mike McAvoy for his excellent post about writing.  It helped me spot a few slipups that I'd made in places, and I honestly recommend reading it and trying to abide by the suggestions therein.

-=sofaspud=-
sofaspud@ior.com
"You know what they say: 'Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man -'"
"GRUMPY!  Now SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME SLEEP!"
          - my roommate and I, 6AM Saturday morning

------------------------------


Ranma 1/2: Dangerous Lies
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by Brian Payne



-Chapter One-

   It was a beautiful summer day in Nerima.  The sky was that perfect shade of blue, with scattered wispy clouds poking along in the upper reaches.  A warm and gentle breeze sighed against the eaves of the house, making the chimes twitch but not actually ring.  Cicadas buzzed to themselves from the brush as a pair of butterflies flicked past the Tendou gates.  Carp in the koi pond flashed and shimmered as they swept along, just beneath the surface.  Birds twittered to each other in the trees.
   It was a beautiful day.
   But this, as it has already been said, is Nerima.

   "RANMA!  COME OUT AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!"  Ryouga's bellow echoed through the Tendou estate.  Leaves rattled on the trees.  The carp in the koi pond fled in terror.  Even the cicadas hushed momentarily.  It was a truly impressive shout.
   It went unanswered.
   Inside, Nabiki scowled as she looked up from the latest issue of Forbes.  <Here we go again,> she thought.
   "Was that Ryouga?" Kasumi asked, poking her head out of the kitchen.
   "Yes, I'm afraid it was, Kasumi.  Is Ranma still here?"  Even as she spoke, Nabiki was swiftly gathering her things and hiding breakable objects.  A Ranma-vs.-Ryouga clash, while incredibly impressive to watch (from a safe distance, of course), was hard on the house.  Almost as bad as Akane-vs.-Ranma.  Almost.
   "I don't know, Nabiki.  I don't think so - usually he would have gone out to greet Ryouga by now."  Kasumi's voice echoed from the kitchen.  Sounds of chopping could be heard as she resumed preparing lunch.
   "Great.  Ryouga's here to kill Ranma and no one knows where Ranma is."  Nabiki glanced over at Genma and Soun.  As usual, the pair was completely oblivious to their surroundings as they contemplated the Shogi board.  "Daddy?  Mr. Saotome?  Do either of you know where Ranma is?"
   "That worthless son of mine!  As usual, he isn't around when needed!  Why, when-"
   "I don't know, Nabiki," Soun broke in, swapping two pieces around while Genma ranted about his son.  "Is there something wrong, daughter?"
   "No, daddy.  I can handle it."  Even as she spoke, Nabiki caught the look in her fathers eyes and mentally sighed.  <Oh no.>
   Surprisingly enough, Soun didn't flood the room as per usual.  Instead, he merely sniffled and wiped back a few tears.  While Soun had his attention focused on Nabiki, Genma quickly switched a few pieces around, all the while continuing his rant.
   "Nabiki, I -"
   "Your turn, Tendou."
   "Oh yes.  Let's see... Wait a minute!  Saotome!"
   Nabiki sighed as she turned away.  <Yep.  Things definitely get weird around here.>  Behind her, Genma and Soun continued squabbling over the Shogi board as Nabiki slipped upstairs.

   "Ryouga?"
   "Huh?  Oh, hi Kasumi."  Ryouga stopped pacing in front of the Tendou gates.  "Where's Ranma?"
   "No one knows.  Why don't you come in for a bit?"
   "Oh, I couldn't... well, I mean... umm..."
   "Come on in, Ryouga.  I'm sure Ranma will be back soon."
   "Well... alright.  Thank you, Kasumi."
   "Oh, we don't mind at all, Ryouga.  You're welcome here anytime."
   The lost boy shuffled uncomfortably as he followed Kasumi towards the house.  "Um... right."

   Nabiki knocked on Akane's door.  "Akane?  Are you there?"
   "Oh, hello Nabiki.  Hang on a minute."  A metallic clank followed by two dull thumps sounded through the thin door.  It opened a moment later to reveal Akane, clad in a yellow gi with a towel draped around her neck.  She unconsciously brushed back a few strands of hair from her sweat-streaked forehead as she regarded her sister.  "What is it?"
   "We're looking for Ranma.  Do you know where he is?"  Behind Akane, Nabiki could see two dumbbells sitting on the floor.  <Ack... my sister the barbarian,> she thought fondly.
   Akane flushed.  "I haven't seen that jerk since this morning.  I heard Ryouga outside - is that what this is all about?"
   Nabiki nodded.  "Yep.  Damage control.  Our insurance rates can't handle another episode like the one last week."
   Akane rolled her eyes.  "That Ranma!  When will he learn to not use a ki-blast in the house?"
   Nabiki looked at her sister through half-shut eyes.  "As I recall, Akane, it was you who punted Ranma through the roof after the fight was over."
   "Well... Um... So?"
   "It wouldn't have collapsed if Ranma hadn't shattered that beam on his way up."
   Akane flushed again, this time in embarassement instead of anger.  "Sorry, Nabiki."
   Nabiki merely nodded, acknowledging the apology.  "So you don't know where Ranma is?"
   "He's probably at Ucchan's, stuffing himself on okonomiyaki."  Akane grimaced.  "That jerk."
   "Well, I'm sure he'll be back in time for lunch.  There's no way Ranma would miss out on Kasumi's cooking."  Nabiki turned back towards the stairs.  "Are you coming down?  I'm sure Kasumi has invited Ryouga in by now."
   "Hm?  Oh, right.  I'll change and be right down."

   Lunch was a tedious affair for Akane and Ryouga.  Nabiki either didn't notice the tension or ignored it.  Kasumi had noticed Ranma missing, as had Genma and Soun, but none of them thought much of it.  Only Akane and Ryouga remained tense, looking up from their meals every time a sound out of the ordinary was heard.
   "So, A-A-Akane, um... how's summer vacation so far?"  Ryouga screamed at himself internally.  <You idiot!  That has to be the dumbest question in the book!>  He hoped the smile on his face was convincing.
   Nabiki glanced up when she heard Ryouga speak.  <Why on earth does he have that stupid grin on his face?> she thought quizzically, before tracking his look and finding Akane on the receiving end.  <Never mind.>
   Akane apparently hadn't heard.  She remained still, except for the idly twirling chopsticks in her hand as she slowly picked up a pickle and dropped it, picked up a pickle and dropped it, picked up a pickle and - 
   "Akane!  Hello?  Anybody home?"
   Akane yelped in surprise as Nabiki snapped her fingers bare inches in front of Akane's eyes.  She clutched her hands to her chest in fright, nearly impaling herself with the chopsticks still in her hand.
   Genma deftly snagged Akane's flying pickle from the air with his own chopsticks.  "A martial artist has to be prepared for anything, eh Tendou?"  He grinned before popping the wayward vegetable into his mouth.
   Soun gravely sipped his tea.  "Oh, most definitely, Saotome.  Most definitely."
   Akane favored them with a short glare before turning the rest of her baleful look on Nabiki.  "And what was THAT for?"
   "Ryouga asked you a question, and you just sat there twiddling your chopsticks.  Where's your mind at today?"
   "I-it's okay, Nabiki.  I don't mind."  Ryouga had a sick smile on his face, even as his internal voice was screaming at him.  <She hates me she hates me she hates me...>
   Akane looked embarrassed.  "I'm sorry, Ryouga.  My mind was drifting, I guess.  What did you say?"
   "Um... I-I just asked how summer vacation was going."
   "Oh!"  Akane smiled.  "Pretty nice, actually.  I've had lots more time to practice, and even Ranma's being less irritating than usual."
   Ryouga scowled briefly at the mention of his would-be adversary.  "That's good, I guess.  I've been -"
   CRASH!  "What the -"  "Not again."  "Who in the -"  "Oh my."
   A thundering roar echoed throughout the house as the newly-replaced wall came down.  A purple-haired girl on a bike, wheels idly spinning in place against Ryouga and the wall on top of him, looked around expectantly.  "Nihao, Ranma!" Shampoo exclaimed excitedly.  Her happy expression turned to a frown as she looked more carefully at the boy beneath her.  "You not Ranma.  Where is husband?"
   "grlggl mmph m HMML!"
   Shampoo frowned again.  "What you say, stupid boy?"
   "Shampoo."
   "GGT UMMPH O MMGH!"
   "You need speak better.  Shampoo not understand."
   "Shampoo!"
   "GGT OMMPH O MMI!"
   Shampoo scowled at Ryouga.  "Shampoo not care what you call her.  Where is husband?"
   "SHAMPOO!"
   Shampoo blinked.  "What you want?"
   "Ryouga would probably be able to talk better if you weren't on top of him."  Nabiki smirked at the Chinese girl.
   Shampoo blinked again.  "Okay."  She moved her bike off of the prone Ryouga, who seemed to be having trouble getting the wall off his chest.  All that was visible was his head, poking out from under the wall.  His voice was once again clear though, since Shampoo's bike tire was no longer taking up residence in his mouth.  Ryouga quickly spat out some dirt and other, less identifiable, substances before glaring up at the purple-haired Amazon.
   "Why you stupid Amazon no good lousy ugly -"
   Shampoo whapped Ryouga lightly with one of her bonbori.  "Shampoo like him better when he not talk."
   "Leave him alone, you Chinese hussy!"  Akane had finally found her voice again, it seemed.
   "Hmph.  Shampoo marry Ranma and ugly girl learn who is hussy!"
   "WHAT?"

   Nabiki finished her mental calculations for the cost of the repairs and sighed.  <This is not my week,> she grumbled.  Her sharp ears caught the sounds of impending doom as Shampoo and Akane squared off for combat.  <Not AGAIN!>

   "PREPARE TO DIE, SHAMPOO!"
   "Shampoo kill!"
   "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"  While Nabiki didn't have the lung capacity Ryouga did, her voice was far more projecting.  Her shout left a ringing in the ears of all present.
   "Oh my..." came Kasumi's voice in the aftermath of that mighty yell.
   "If you two are going to fight, then take it outside.  Shampoo, why don't you try using the door for once?"  The growl in Nabiki's voice was unmistakable.
   "But -"
   "Aiya!  Shampoo -"
   "OUTSIDE."  Nabiki flung her arm out, finger unerringly pointed at the now-demolished wall.  "Oh, and Shampoo," she continued in a normal voice, "you _will_ get a bill for the damage this time.  We just replaced that wall last week.  I'll send it to the Nekohanten, hmm?"
   Both Akane and Shampoo started to protest yet again, and yet again Nabiki cut them off.
   "OUTSIDE!"
   Wearing hangdog expressions, Akane and Shampoo trudged out through the gaping hole where a wall used to stand.  Small, pained groans came from Ryouga as each stepped on the fallen wall on top of him.
   Nabiki ignored the sounds of mayhem outside as she knelt next to the lost boy.  "Are you okay, Ryouga?"
   "I've been... better.  Ow.  What's this thing made of, anyway?  I can't seem to lift it."
   "Wood," Nabiki said, "with a steel core.  I had it installed so that this sort of thing couldn't happen anymore.  Looks like I need to get my money back."
   "Heh heh.  Yeah.  Um... is there any way you can get this thing off of me?  It's kinda hard to breathe under here."
   "Hold on a minute."  Nabiki disappeared down the hall, only to return in a few moments with a car jack.  She wedged it under the wall near Ryouga's chest and began cranking.
   "Where'd you get that?"  Ryouga asked, as the pressure on his chest slowly began to recede.
   "Held on - to it - when we sold - the car," Nabiki puffed, unused to the exertion.

   The jack was an old type, and used nothing but brute physical force to operate the mechanism.  The sort of jack that's the only type available when you have to crank up a pickup loaded with logs.  The sort of jack that laughs at puny human muscles as it's rusted screws slowly - ever so slowly - turn.  A jack... from Hell.

   <Almost there...> Nabiki thought.  <Whew!>
   Ryouga felt the dramatic lessening of pressure as the jack forced the wall up another few centimeters.  Carefully, he pushed/pulled himself out of his prison, nervously praying that the groaning boards under the base of the jack wouldn't snap under the concentrated weight of the wall.  As soon as he was clear he firmly but gently moved Nabiki aside and even more carefully unwound the crank.  The wall settled to the floor with a muffled BANG as he yanked the jack out from underneath when it couldn't be lowered any further.
   Relieved, Ryouga settled back next to a puffing Nabiki.  His ribs ached and his chest felt as if Ranma had been pounding on it for an hour, but for the first time in quite a while the voice in his head, the one that constantly plagued his attempts to talk with girls, was silent.  "Thanks, Nabiki-san."
   "No problem, Ryouga," Nabiki said as her breathing slowly returned to normal.
   Unnoticed behind them, Kasumi cleared the remnants of lunch off the table.  A small smile was on her lips as she entered the kitchen.

   Outside, a large splash was quickly followed by a glowering Akane limping into the house and heading straight for the first aid kit.  The observant would have noticed a dripping Shampoo-cat slinking through the gates with a feline expression of pure hate etched on her furry face.

   "Your turn, Saotome," Soun said.
   Click, click.  "Your turn, Tendou."
   Click, click...

------------------------
Authors Note:

No spoilers, don't worry.

First of all, a few of my prereaders commented about the 'voices' Ryouga was supposedly hearing after they read the last few paragraphs.  Be aware that these aren't 'voices' in the "oh-god-he's-crazy" sense, these are the voices of his thoughts.  I personally thought it obvious, but apparently not.  So I'm spelling it out: Ryouga is not any more (or any less) crazy than he is in the series.  I tried rewriting the offending lines several times, but I always came back to this as the most effective way to put it.  Sue me.

Trust me, if Ryouga (or any character, for that matter) goes nuts, I'll make it clear one way or another. ;)

Next on the list: Shampoo's dialogue.  Okay, I admit a bit of ignorance here.  I'm writing this during my lunch break at work and don't have a Ranma 1/2 reference handy, so I'm never quite sure if the way Shampoo refers to people is the way she usually does.  I know that she calls one of the fiancees the 'not-nice girl' and so on, but I don't know the specifics.  If anybody wants to help with this please let me know.  This _is_ the final rewrite of this particular chapter but I'm open to suggestions and will fix any problems for when I post it on my web site... which isn't up yet, so don't ask.

Last thing... One of my prereaders and I found ourselves wondering: is there a summer vacation in Japan?  If not, then I _would_ rewrite part of this chapter and make changes to the rest of the story, but if there is then all's well.  It's not _really_ important, I guess - I just want to make sure I'm not making any GLARINGLY OBVIOUS mistakes or something.

So... C&C's welcome, flames if you must but I don't know what I did to deserve them, and so on.  Flame me privately (again, only if you must), C&C's/other stuff... use your judgement. ;)

-=sofaspud=-