Let me begin with a sincere apology:  I'm terribly sorry for what I'm 
putting on the list here.

Now, let me continue with a story:
A year or so ago, an extremely bad crossover fanfic was written.  Some 
of you may have tried to read it, or have heard of it.  If you have, 
delete this post immediately.  If not, proceed, brave fanfic otaku.

This story was called Street Fighter Vs. Mortal Kombat:  Battle Vs. 
Shinnok.  It was written by RyogaMKN.  I tried reading it, but I stopped 
around chapter five, skipped ahead to the ending, and have yet to look 
back.  More recently, he wrote(is writing?) a sequel entitled:  Curse of 
the Knighmare:  The Anime Adventure.  This one is extremely bad.  I know 
this for reasons I will explain later.  

Some of my friends at the Octagon Rumble flamed RyoMKN severely for his 
fics.  Ryoga insulted them in turn.  This has now erupted into a flame 
war between them.  During this conflict, I have been challenged to post 
his fics on this list.  I cannot do this, not only because they're bad, 
but because they're not mine.

But to keep in the spirit of the challenge, I instead opt to show you 
parts of the fics.  I won't get into SF Vs. MK, but there's a cotinuing 
MST of is that can be found at 

www.hemisfear.com/elsewhere/or99/index.html

the MST, and a link to RyogaMKN's site can be found under the Mystery 
Octagon Theatre 3000 link.  

I will be showing parts of Curse of the Nightmare.  C&C or flames of 
your own would be appreciated, and can be sent to either him or me.  

Once again, I apologize to anyone offended by this post, particilarly 
the administrators.  If you're offended, just tell me, and I'll never 
mention this again.

============================================================

I reviewed this fic on his message board as I read it.  My reviews for 
chapters 1-8 and 9-16 are still up there.

I now present one of the worst fanfics ever made:  Curse of the 
Nightmare.

***************************************************
It was a regular day in Nerima. If you could say a regular day. 

The evil Star Wolf team, led by Star Wolf, was attacking the city. 
****************************************
"But not for two of us," as Pigma and Leon blasted all around Fox. As 
expected, Fox tried to
maneuver his ship as to dodge the shots, but ran right into them.

"How the heck did this happen?" as Fox yelled in desperation as his ship 
went flying down towards
the hard rock.

"We�ll be seeing you in an airtight coffin soon enough, Fox," said Wolf 
as the rest of his team
cheered. The StarFox team had once and for all been destroyed, as Wolf 
and his two buddies flew
around in circles as Fox crashed into the rocks down below and died in a 
tremendous explosion.

"Another one for Team Nightmare," said Leon. "Another win over the good 
guys."
*******************************************************
"Brother, please stop!" yelled a girl. "Where are you taking me?

"Nowhere," said a boy with a blaster on his right hand. "Just to a 
little pond."

"I don't want to go to a pond," said Roll. "I want to go to my house and 
see Dr. Light."

"We'll just be a few minutes. I want to spend some time with you alone."

"The name's your worst Nightmare, Roll. "Evil Spy, Nam Agem, throw her 
into the Spring of
Drowned Girl!"

Evil Spy and Nam Agem suddenly grabbed Roll by each arm. Roll then in 
desperation threw a
groin kick at Nightmare.

"Ah, Roll, you think you're smart. But this time, I wear my cup!" 
Nightmare was unaffected by the
groin kick, as Evil Spy and Nam Agem picked up Roll and threw her into 
the spring.
****************************************
Roll got out of the pool and examined herself. She had reddish blonde 
hair now. She freaked out! 

"What happened to me???" Roll screamed. 

" You have curse of Drowned girl." ,A man said to her. 

" Hi, Guide," A young man said to the Guide. He had black hair. He 
appeared to be 16. " Hi. My
name's Ranma," The man said.

"Looks like you got my curse. Don't worry, it's cured by hot water," 
Ranma said. 

[Chapter 3 involves a battle between James Bond and a new Character vs. 
Bond's old enemy Jaws.  Ken, who was working as a waiter on the ship(?) 
gets serieously injured.]

CHAPTER 4  

"Man! That was some fight! Let's stop at the next port!" said Spy Guy.

"Jaws was tough that time," said Bond. "I wonder why he attacked us�"

Spy Guy inserted himself, "There are rumors of him joining up with 
Nightmare, a new menace."

"I got to stop him!" exclaimed Bond. "Tell me where my lead is."

"They say some strange occurances are happening in Ocean Township in New 
Jersey," said Spy
Guy. "Should be an interesting place to start. I'll keep watch over the 
ship. You get over there and
find out what you can."

At the port, after Bond got off the ship, Ranma then asks the ship�s 
security guard a question.

"Could we come aboard" asked Ranma.

"I'm the security guard. Name�s Spy Guy, been looking forward to meeting 
you. Come aboard!"

"Well, my city was destroyed by the StarWolf team, and we need to go 
somewhere. Please?"
Ranma said. 
**********************************************
" My name's Ranma. I'm a great fighter," Ranma said. "Taught by Genma 
Saotome himself." 

"Well? I wish to fight you fight, just to see how good you are," Spy Guy 
said back. "If you�re
Genma�s son, you should be good." 
**********************************************
After a few security guards cleared some tables, Ranma and Spy Guy 
bowed, then dropped into
their fighting positions. Spy Guy then activated his X-Armor.

"You cheater," said Ranma. "KACHUU-TENSHIN-AMEGURAIKEN!"

Spy Guy took repeated hits by Ranma�s flaming hands, and fell back hard. 
He lost no wind
because of the X-Armor. "That�s good, but how do you handle this? SPY 
BUSTER!"

Ranma took a hard hit by a large energy blast that came out of Spy Guy�s 
hand.

"That hurt," said Ranma.

"There�s more where that came from. HADOUKEN!"

Ranma was blown back from another one of Spy Guy�s sneaky X-Armor 
tricks. Then, Spy Guy
camouflaged himself into the background.

Ranma then tried to concentrate, only to have three smoke bombs explode 
around him
simultaneously. As Ranma was recovering, Spy Guy came in with two 
well-placed kicks, followed
by a blast from his gun.

Ranma was slow to get up. Spy Guy switched his powers, then erupted at 
Ranma with a heavy
shoulder charge. Ranma was pushed over the boat�.
 

"Weak. Even a ten-year old could�ve given me a better fight," said Spy 
Guy.

Suddenly, a girl jumped out of the water and climbed up super-fast onto 
the ship. She was really
ticked off and dripping wet�
 

"You asked for it, Spy Guy!"

"Who are you?" asked Spy Guy.

"Name�s Ranma-Chan," as Ranma-Chan (Girl Ranma) then delivered a 
powerful side kick with
her high heel shoe to Spy Guy�s solar-plexus, sending Spy Guy flying�.

"Ouch," said Spy Guy barely able to get up.

"Or you can just call me Ran-Chan for short," as she erupted with some 
lightning-fast kicks,
sending Spy Guy more for a loop.

"The curses are true�. Jusenkyo�" muttered Spy Guy.

"SHINKUU KIKOUKEN!" Ran-Chan erupted with a tremendous beam which was 
similar to a
Shinkuu Hadouken. The beam burned Spy Guy to a pulp and crashed him into 
the steel wall
between the outside and the cabin.

Spy Guy was holding his head, as Ran-Chan yelled to Roll:

"Find some hot water, quickly!"

Roll was holding some scalding hot tea water, and threw it onto 
Ran-Chan. In an instant, Ran-Chan
turned into Ranma again.

"NOT THAT HOT," said Ranma. That one hurt!

 
"Wow. I was impressed!'' Spy Guy said. 

"Would you like to know something?" Ranma said to Spy Guy. 

"Most certainly," Spy Guy said. "Please meet me in my cabin."
**********************************************************
Nightmare then sat down, "Now, let�s get to business. Nam Agem and Evil 
Spy, how�s Project
Onatopp going?"

"She�s alive and well, thanks to a common traitor to our enemies."

"You revived Xenia Onatopp this quickly? Who helped you?"

Nam Agem then pointed to the door, and two ladies came out. One was 
obviously Xenia Onatopp,
the other about five-foot four and was in great shape. She was wearing a 
blue Chinese fighting
outfit and traditional Chinese earwear.

"CHUN LI? Why are you helping us?" asked Nightmare.

"I want a piece of Bond. He killed Xenia the first time, and he�s gonna 
pay."

"This time, the pleasure will be all ours, Nightmare," said Xenia.

"But, how do we trap Bond?" asked Chun Li.

"Chun Li, no one knows you turned traitor, right?" asked Nightmare.

"No. For seven years, I worked for Interpol, trying to get the 
information to kill Bison. But, at the
Street Fighter: World of Mortal Kombat tournament, they stuck me with 
Sonya Blade. She ended
up getting the FATALITY from Shao Kahn and I could not get revenge. Ken 
and Sean end up
killing Bison, leaving me with a void."

"Interesting," said Nightmare. "I faintly remember that tournament�"

"Well, afterwards, I hear my best friend Xenia Onatopp was killed. Xenia 
and I worked together on
many missions before the Soviet Union turned democratic. Afterwards, 
Xenia joined Janus, while I
joined Interpol. Xenia was killed by Bond three years ago, and when I 
found out, I was extremely
upset. But when I heard she could be revived, I vowed to join whoever 
gave her the chance.
***************************************************************
"May I ask you a question?" asked Bond.

"Why yes," said Chun-Li.

"Why is an Interpol Agent working as a waitress in Hooters? Seems a 
little strange�"
***************************************************************
Ranma and Roll stepped into the Hooters Bar with Spy Guy. Spy Guy opted 
to sit separately from
Ranma and Roll. As Ranma sat down, a waiter that was strangely familiar 
walked up to Ranma.

"What would you like, Mr. Saotome?" asked the waiter.

"Sake, please," said Ranma.

"And you, young lady?" asked the waiter.

"Nothing, thank you," said Roll.

A few minutes later, the waiter came back. On purpose, the waiter 
spilled the sake on Ranma's
lap.

"What was that for?" asked Ranma.

"Because you're one bad jerk," said the waiter.

"Ryouga Hibiki?! How did you find me here? You usually are SO lost you 
can't find your way out
of a box!" said Ranma surprised.

"Thanks to my new friend," as Ryouga pointed to Map Sensor. "It was SO 
easy to stay on track
this time," as Ryouga poured cold water glasses over Ranma and Roll. 
Instantaneously, Human
Roll and Ran-Chan replaced Ranma and Roll.

"That's it," said Ran-Chan ticked off. "HIRYU-SHOTEN-HA!"

Ryouga countered, "BAKUSAI-TENKETSU!" as his Breaking Touch broke the 
table, sending
Human Roll and Ran-Chan flying.

Ran-Chan picked herself up, "KIKOUKEN!" A fireball blew into Ryouga, 
sending him into a pillar
near the stage.

Ryouga shook off the stars, and eyed Human Roll: "Come here, sweety!"

Human Roll started advancing towards Ryouga�.

"C'mon, sweety. Give ol' hunk of Ryouga a kiss, please�"

Human Roll started to give Ryouga a kiss, but all of a sudden, KAPOW! 
Roll landed a right hook
right on Ryouga's right cheek.

"You pig," said Roll, as Ranma grabbed a hose of cold water and sprayed 
it all over Ryouga. In an
instant, Ryouga morphed into P-Chan and was a useless fighter.

"I guess he's cursed, too," said Roll. "I guess I'll take some caring to 
him�"

"Not so fast," said a shadowy voice, as Nam Agem jumped in front of 
Roll.

"That's the guy that threw me into the pool, Ran-Chan!"

"SHINKUU KIKOUKEN!" Nam-Agem blocked Ranma's attack, while Xenia and 
Chun-Li bolted
for the door with a body-bag over their shoulders.

"Not so fast, Xenia," said Spy Guy, as he tried.

"I don't think so," said Chun-Li. "SPINNING BIRD KICK!" Chun Li inverted 
herself, then
Hurricane Kicked Spy Guy into the wall. Xenia and Chun Li then flew out 
of the bar.

Evil Spy then slammed Spy Guy into a nearby wall: "Long time, no see, 
Spy Guy. Waited a while
for this�"

Spy Guy tried to get up, but was thrown to the ground again, then 
blasted with an EVIL BUSTER.

"Pathetic," said Evil Spy, as Nam Agem used an Atomic Laser to knock out 
Ran-Chan. Evil Spy
then grabbed Proto Man while he was not looking and applied a shock 
tranquilizer to him. Proto
Man then fell to the ground.

"What are you going to do, pretty little girl," said Nam Agem 
menacingly. "I'm going to make sure
you don't live another day!"

Suddenly, one of the girls on the stage threw off the hair and face, and 
a boy came out from under
him. He had a hockey stick, and a blue and red hockey uniform on.

"What a joke," said Nam Agem. "What can HE do?"

"Little seven-year old. Your days end here," said Evil Spy cockingly.

In a grim, quiet, and determined voice, the kid said, "You've seen 
nothing. SPEED-UP!"

Nam then tried to use a Quick Boomerang, but the kid jumped behind him 
before he had it shot.
The kid then knocked Nam Agem in the groin with his stick, then kicked 
him off of his stick.

"You punk," said Evil Spy, but before he knew it, the kid had shot a 
hockey puck at 120 MPH at his
head. Evil Spy grabbed his forehead and dropped down to one knee�

"You� are ours," said Evil Spy and Nam Agem as they got up.

"This is for what you did to my friends. MULTIPLE HOCKEY PUCK!"

In a Gambit-like fashion, the kid threw his hockey stick up, and pucks 
started flying towards Nam
and Evil Spy. The shadowy figures were blown back hard and could barely 
get up.

"Get P-Chan and Proto Man, and let's get out of here," said Xenia coming 
back with Chun Li."

"Oh no you don't," said the kid."

"Bug off, kid. KIKOUSHOU," yelled Chun Li, as a bubble of pure ki 
erupted. The kid blocked it,
but before he had a chance to counter, Nam Agem and Evil Spy had grabbed 
P-Chan and Proto
Man and had disappeared. Xenia and Chun-Li then ran off as quickly as 
they could.

"You fiends�" said the kid putting his head down. "You slipped through 
my fingers when I had
you�"

Ran-Chan, Human Roll, and Spy Guy painfully pulled themselves up, as the 
people in the Hooters
Bar evacuated the place.
*************************************************************
It was at dinner, and Dr. Light, Ryu, Sakura, Mega Man, Spy Guy, Ranma, 
and Roll were all sitting
at the table. Roll was still in human form.

Mega Man asked Dr. Light, " Why hasn't Roll changed back?"

Dr. Light took a good look, then looked puzzled. "All right, no more 
secrets. Tell us what's going
on."

Spy Guy then asked Mega Man, "Mega,have you heard of Ranma 1/2?"

Mega Man replied, "Yea, of course! The number one cartoon right now!"

Spy Guy then said, "Well, Roll has Ranma's curse!"
*****************************************************
"Whoa," said Mega Man. "And I thought it was all fiction�"

"Ranma sold his stories to Takahashi and Toraneko for publication, 
partially to cover up the
existance of the Jusenkyou Springs. There are several springs: Ranma and 
Roll got thrown into the
Spring of Drowned Girl. When they are splashed by cold water, they turn 
into human girls. When
in that form and are splashed with hot water, they turn into their 
normal selves.
*****************************************************
"Shampoo, Shampoo," said Nightmare over a monitor, "Oh Shampoo!"

A slender girl with a gypsy outfit walked over to the phone TV, "Yes, 
may I help you sir?"

"I need you to help me," said Nightmare.

"Enemy of Ranma?" asked Shampoo. "I heard of the episode at the Hooters 
Bar."

"Yes," said Nightmare. "I need you to lead Ranma into a trap in where he 
fights Ryouga Hibiki in a
Celebrity Death Match"

Shampoo laughed, "You have to be kidding me..."

Nightmare glared at Shampoo, "I'm not kidding. I already have the 
arrangements. Eleven O' Clock
Friday, at the Celebrity Death Match Arena!"

"I'll do it," said Shampoo, "because Ranma wants that Akane over me. 
Just, may I ask who the hell
you are?"

"Nightmare. Master of the dark and cloaked, live far away from the 
public."

"And my payment?" asked Shampoo.

"IF you do the job well, and Ryouga trashes Ranma, you can have the 
pleasure of marrying Ranma
and training him as well!"

Shampoo smiled, "Ranma for a cook at the Cat Cafe! I'd love it!"

Nightmare then proceeded, "You'll be too obvious, Shampoo in your human 
form."

"Obviously. Ranma would slap me in the face SO fast," said Shampoo.

"Turn into your cat curse," said Nightmare. "Then lead Ranma into the 
stadium, and let Ryouga
take it from there."

"You kidding? Ranma is scared (beep) of cats!" yelled Shampoo.

"Just one won't freak him out too bad," said Nightmare. "Just trust me 
on this one. And act like you
love him!"

Shampoo smiled for a second, then turned her attention to another topic.
***************************************************************
As Mega Man, Akane, and Ryu were walking down the halls of the high 
school, they were
unaware that classes were still going on and that the classes had just 
ended. When they were at a
pool, some big kid started picking on Mega Man:

"Hey Blue, short man, dweeb, who do you think you are?" asked the bully.

"Get off of me," said Mega Man. "I'm not in the mood."

"Then, step away from the pool! That's MY place for MYSELF and MY 
GIRLS!"

"Who do you think you are?" asked Mega Man.

"Tatewaki Kuno," said the big, tall man. "Captain of the Furinkan High 
Fencing Team, dating
extroadinaire, and biggest date to Akane Tendo."

"Well, you sure got the biggest ego in the school by far," said Mega 
Man.

"Stop it Kuno," said Akane. "Please stop it."

"Yeah right," said Kuno. "I am the biggest thing in this school ever: 
All the girls, boys fear me,
straight A's, can beat anyone with my sword, you can't have any more!" 
as Kuno said pushing
Mega Man again. "And you going out with Akane, you had better be 
scared!"

"Enough!" yelled Ryu. "You better stop picking on Mega Man: I don't care 
how smart or elequant
you are!"

"Oh, Ryu, King of the Street Fighters, beaten twice only by your best 
friend Ken, red headband,
long, flowing hair, master of the Hadouken, what brings you to Furinkan 
High School, and
especially with that blue dweeb?"

"Just for your information, Kuno, I don't take lightly to my few friends 
being insulted, and he is one
of them."

"Well," said Kuno pushing Mega Man and pricking his robotic structure, 
"let's see what you got,
tough guy! You want to go out to Akane?"

Ryu got mad, and tried to attack Kuno, "HADOUKEN!"

Kuno easily dodged the blue fireball as it dissipated close to the wall, 
"You got nothing!
SENPOU-KEN!" Kuno lifted his bokken, or wooden sword, into Ryu's groin, 
lifting him up, then
letting a whirlwind carry him up and into the pool.

"Oh, Ryu sucks! I am so embarrased that I won SO EASILY," said Kuno, as 
he picked Mega
Man's robotic ear again. "No one's going to stop me!"

Mega Man then blocked Kuno as he tried to push him, "Stop it right now, 
Kuno, or I will defend
myself!"

Kuno then pushed Mega Man again, "Try and beat me, blue dweeb!"

After Kuno tried to prick Mega Man's ear, Mega Man blocked, then 
performed a hammer strike
into Kuno's arm, followed by a powerful side kick into Kuno's 
mid-section.

"That hurt big-time," said Kuno, as he lifted his bokken. Mega Man then 
picked up a watermelon,
but before he had a chance, Kuno had jumped in and sliced it in half, 
then Kuno punched Mega
Man stiffly in the face.

Mega Man fell back, as Kuno lifted up his sword again. Mega Man blocked 
one strike, then
countered with a hard punch. Kuno fell back, then yelled, "BLUE 
THUNDER," and bashed Mega
Man several times with lightning speed with his sword.

"Only that little jerk, Chris, can beat that speed," said Kuno. "Eat 
that, blue dweeb."

Mega Man pulled himself up, and then fired a blast out of his Mega 
Buster, "MAXIMUM
POWER!" Kuno was blasted back almost into the pool. Mega Man followed 
that with a hopping
front kick-uppercut combo, knocking Kuno back.

"Now you'll really pay," said Kuno as he jumped in attempting to slice 
Mega Man. Mega braced
himself, then yelled, "HYPER MEGAMAN!" Suddenly, Mega Man grew to ten 
times his normal
size. Kuno, definitely, not expecting this, was knocked upwards and 
backwards. Then, as Kuno
was falling down, Mega Man erupted a heavy laser beam on Kuno, knocking 
him into the pool and
almost senseless.

As Kuno jumped out of the pool dizzily, Ryu was waiting for him, "I 
don't appreciate people picking
on my friends. "SHOURYUKEN!" Kuno was knocked back into a bunch of 
chairs that people
weren't sitting in.

Ryu walked over to a back-to-normal Mega Man, "Man, we got more than we 
bargained for!"

"No kidding," said Mega Man. "Now I know why Ranma warned us."

"Most definitely," said Ryu. "But maybe we avoid all other trouble now 
by kicking the crap out of
one of their best fighters."

"Just control yourself next time," said Akane. "You've gotten very 
emotional since you married
Sakura. The fighter Ryu wouldn't have attacked first."

Ryu nodded slowly, "I guess I was a little too fast on the attack. I've 
still got more to learn before
one can call me Master."
===================================================
And that's the first 9 chapters.  I refuse to supject you to any more of 
this.  Wether or not you get offended, I'm not doing this again.  

Once again, I apologize. 

SAMAS

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