[The camera opens on Duke who is talking to a bearded old man (Saint Peter)
who is sitting on a judicial bench. There are fluffy white clouds everywhere
and there is a gate behind Saint Peter]

Saint Peter: You have committed numerous heinous acts in your former life.
You killed, cheated, stole, and spread hatred wherever you went. Can you
tell me one thing in your horrible life that would be good enough to let you
into the holy gates of Heaven?

Duke: Hey! Mister high and mighty! I seem to recall reading in the Bible
that you committed adultery a lot yourself!

Saint Peter: What nonsense are you spouting? I did no such thing!

Duke: Uh, didn't  you sleep with Batsheba?

Saint Peter: David.

Duke: You slept with Deliahla, right?

Saint Peter:Samson

Duke: You slept with your daughters?

Saint Peter: Lot. Did you not read any sections of the bible that did not
pertain to intercourse?

Duke: Of course not! Why the Hell else would I read the book?!

Saint Peter: Religious enlightenment?

Duke: Ha! That's for suckers! I mean there's no proo-[Duke looks around
himself] Oh, boy.

To Be Continued...

Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.