Subject: Re: [FFML][Fanfic][Ranma] (C&C Wanted)
From: bert.miller@unisys.com
Date: 2/23/1999, 9:15 AM
To: Shadow6865@aol.com
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

First, you have a formatting problem (one I often get) where your
single-quotes have turned into question marks.

FYI, the Burakumin issue has been dealt with before in Ranma fanfic.
In the story I remember previously, Ranma turned out to be the Burakumin,
and Akane and the rest of the Tendos refused further association.

Re:  your decision not to use Sasuke.  Normally, I would applaud, but
I'm not sure substituting another, made-up, Kunou retainer is better.
In the manga, it's not clear that the Kunou's are rich enough to afford
retainers; we never see any.  I'd suggest getting rid of retainers,
and having Kodachi spread the word herself (the usual, her dancing over
rooftops in her leotard, throwing out wads of leaflets).

It was nice to see that this is chapter 1 only, and that you're
planning more.  What I'd like to see is this turn into the character
story that the story I mentioned above never really became.  How
does Ranma react?  If he reaches out to Ukyou, as I would expect, how
does Akane react to that (probably your major decision)?  Shampoo
won't care, of course, and we've seen D&H's reactions.  Ranma will
lose friends over this, one way or another.  If Konatsu is around,
I doubt he'll care.

So far, I don't see anyone OOC.