ANIME DEATH MATCH
Inspired by MTV's Celebrity Death Match.

WARNING: Gratuitous Language and Extreme Violence will be depicted.  
Don't watch if it makes you queasy.

===================================

	[Scene: Two people sitting in a titanium tower overlooking a ring.  
Thousands of fans are cheering or booing.  The roar is continous, 
though.  We look to the two in the tower.]

?????: Welcome, once again, to the revived Anime Death Match.  I'm ????? 
Diamond.

A-kun: And I'm A-kun Daniels.  ?????, tonight's Anime Death Match 
promises to be a big one, as most of them prove to be.  We should remind 
readers that nothing and no one shown here belongs to us.

?????: Right.  Mainly because we have no money and we have no desire to 
be sued.  Tonight is _GRUDGE_ night here at the Death Match Arena!  
Where we find out, once and for all, who should be the victor in each 
fight.  First, it's the princess and the pirate!  That's right, Ayeka 
and Ryoko from Tenchi Muyo! are going to be going at it because the 
loser not only loses Tenchi, she loses her life!  While Tenchi Masaki 
didn't exactly enjoy this idea, it was better than having them blow up 
his house every few days.

A-kun: Next is the prince and the LOSER!  Utena vs. Saiyonji!

?????: Our third match of the night is a four-way match of Cutey Honey 
(anime) vs. Cutey Honey (manga) vs. Panther Zora (anime) vs. Sister Jill 
(manga).  They've opted for the Cage Match.

A-kun: The fourth match of the night is Yohko and Azusa vs. Ayeko and 
Azusa2!

?????: The fifth match will be between Ranma Saotome and Terry Bogard, 
the rematch.  Long-time fans will remember that Terry and Ranma didn't 
actually finish their fight.  It's taken this long for them to get a 
rematch scheduled.

A-kun: Not to mention we had better things to do.

?????: Yeah, did you think YOU were the only ones to sit on your butts 
eating nachos and sucking down soda like a hamster that's been in the 
desert for a week?

A-kun: Aaaaaanime*, for the absolute FINAL match for tonight, the one 
that people spent a full $250 a seat to see, Kei and Yuri vs. Kei and 
Yuri!

  (* translation: this is a new coined phrase that we've developed.  
Saying 'Aaaaanyway' gets kind of old and annoying, especially the number 
of times we've said it to TharzZzDunN.)

?????: For those confused, one Kei and Yuri team is from the original 
series, while the other team is from the Flash series, which many 
lame-os consider non-canon.

A-kun: Losers.

?????: Yeah, bet they whined about the voice actors for the Serena in 
the first ten DIC Sailor Moon dubbed episodes and the original Amelia in 
tapes 4 and 5 of the dubbed Slayers.

A-kun: Anyway, our first match is going to be a doozy.  We'll let our 
new battle correspondent (used without permission, but we figure he 
could use some more roles) Bombadil Goh explain the advantages and 
disadvantages for both fighters.

	[Cut to a room that resembles the set for the Tonight Show with Jay 
Leno.  A young man is sitting in the host's seat.  He looks directly 
into the camera and is temporarily blinded by the bright lights now 
shining directly into his eyes.  He squints, but begins talking.]

Bombadil: Thanks A-kun and ......, I'm here-

?????'s voice over: That's ?????.

Bombadil: Oh, sorry !!!!!...

?????'s voice over: THAT'S ?????!!

Bombadil: How do you say it?

?????'s voice over: Repeat after me, "?".

Bombadil: ?

?????'s voice over: Now, extend it to "?????".

Bombadil: Ah, sorry, ?????.  Anyway, I'm here in the Battle Booth-

A-kun's voice over: That's a set.

Bombadil: Hey, you gave me this position, let me name it whatever I 
want!

A-kun's voice over: I'm just saying...

Bombadil: Whatever!  I'm here with some of the most psychic people of 
the decade.  That's right, the people who DON'T buy popcorn at the 
movies because they know it'll kill them faster than anything else.  Of 
course, they know what the movies about, they just don't want to blab 
the ending to their dates.  These people knew how the Tyson/Holyfield 
fight would end.  Or so they claim.  It's half of the psychics from 
those Psychic Hotlines.... hey, I thought we had all of them.

	[A rumbling belch is heard from two psychics.]

Bombadil: [O.O] Uh....

Belching Psychic #1: [shrugging] They were doomed anyway. [picks teeth 
with a femur.]

Bombadil: Um.... [Pulls out a morpher] OROCHI!  [Transforms into a Power 
Ranger and leaps at the evil psychics.]  RAAAAH!

	[Cut to the tower.]

A-kun and ?????: [;;O_O;;] Uh....

?????: [@_@] Hey, A-kun, let's just go to the arena.

A-kun: [;;;;O_O;;;;] Right....

				*RING-SIDE*  [FX: *DING*-*DING*-*DING*]

	[Scene: Setsuna Meiou (aka. Sailor Pluto) is standing the middle of the 
ring.  In the red corner, Ayeka stands, ready to fight in her Juraiian 
Battle Armor (tm).  In the blue corner, Ryoko phases into the visible 
plane, in her special battle suit.  Both combatants near the center as 
Setsuna begins explaining the rules.]

Setsuna: No outside assistance.  It's all your power or it gets trashed.  
Ayeka, no calling on Tenchi, your family or the Wings of the Lighthawk.  
Ryoko, use any inventions made by Washu and I'll wipe the floor with 
you.

	[Both girls nod.]

Setsuna: Now, LET'S GET IT ON!

	[Ayeka lunges forward, intent on finishing the fight in record time.  
Unfortunately, she completely forgot that Ryoko could PHASE.  Not to 
mention that Ryoko was devious when she wanted something.  Before Ayeka 
could blink, Ryoko was next to her, releasing a point-blank blast of 
energy, sending the Princess of Jurai skidding to the ropes, where she 
bounced off and caught Ryoko flat-footed with a flying body slam, 
sending both girls tumbling to the mat.]
	[Ayeka gathered a gravity ball and slammed it into the ground where 
Ryoko had been.  Ryoko appeared behind Ayeka and suplexed her, dazing 
the princess.  Before she could react, Ryoko grabbed her left arm and 
threw her out of the ring.  Ayeka crashed down on her father's head.  
She growled and lunged back into the ring.  She and Ryoko locked hands 
and their powers began struggling for dominance.]

Washuu: Well, Ayeka's done for.

Sasami: Why do you say that, Ms. Washuu?

Washuu: They don't call me the greatest scientist in the universe, 
Sasami.  Ryoko is at least one and a half times more powerful than 
Ayeka, especially since Tenchi gave her back her other two gems.

Sasami: [in tears] Tenchi!  How could you!  I'm going to lose a sister!

Tenchi: Sasami, Ayeka's the one who insisted on it.

Sasami; WHAAAT?!

Tenchi: She demanded that Ryoko be at full power so she could show her 
who was boss.

	[The energy around Ryoko and Ayeka grows extremely bright and 
electric-like branches of energy hit the ring posts, which absorb the 
energy and channel it into the energy reserve tanks below the arena.]

Washuu: As I was saying, Ryoko's gems give her access to more power than 
Ayeka could ever hope to have.  Her only chance was to wear Ryoko down 
and then kill her, but she didn't think to do that.  She didn't even 
look at the strategy disk I gave her.

Sasami: [holding back a tsunami of tears] MMmmmmmmm....

Washuu: Hey, hey.  Don't worry.  I've got more than enough data on Ayeka 
to bring her back to life when she loses.

Sasami: [gasping] REALLY?!

Washuu: Sure, kiddo.

	*BOOOOOOOOM*

	[The smokes slowly clears to show...]

Ryoko: Uuhh.... *THUD*

	[...a scorch mark on the mat where Ayeka had been and an unconscious 
Ryoko.]

Setsuna: The winner, Ryoko Hakubi!

Sasami: Aaaah... I was hoping sis would win anyway.

Washuu: Never bet against a genius, Sasami.  Time to cough it up.

Sasami: [wiping away tears as she pulls out a wad of cash] Here.

Tenchi: I can't believe you two!

Washuu: It's okay, Tenchi.  I'll give you a cut since you're part of the 
family now.

Tenchi: Really?  Cool!

						*THE TOWER*

A-kun: Wow!  What a fight!

?????: Okay, now, let's go to Bombadil for the preview of the next 
fight.

	[Cut back to the same room Bombadil was in before.  Bombadil is still 
in his Power Ranger suit, but it's torn slightly along the arms and 
torso.  Bits of flesh and splotches of blood are on the floor and on his 
outfit.]

Bombadil: Thanks guys.  Sorry about before.  This time, we're relying 
strictly on computers.  Meet the smartest computer ever built.

HAL 2000: That's right, Bombadil.

Bombadil: Okay, HAL, bring up the view screen.

HAL 2000: I can't do that, Bombadil.

Bombadil: [sighing] Maybe next just some martial artists. [pulls out his 
power blaster.] RAAAH!!

	[Cut back to A-kun and ?????.]

A-kun: Uuuuuugh...

?????: A-kun, triple-by pass.

A-kun; [frowning] I never had one of those.

?????: No, but you're heading for one with your blood pressure.

A-kun: [grumbling] No good rotten turkey-burger....

?????: And now for our next fight, Utena vs. Saiyonji.

				*RING-SIDE*  [FX: *DING*-*DING*-*DING*]

	[Scene: Setsuna is standing the middle of the ring.  In the red corner, 
Saiyonji stands, ready to fight in his school uniform, clutching his 
katana tightly.  In the blue corner, Utena stand in her special outfit, 
holding the Sword of Dios.  Both combatants near the center as Setsuna 
begins explaining the rules.]

Setsuna: Okay, no guns, no monkey-mice, no contact with anything other 
than the swords and Utena, no calling on Dios for help.  Now, LET'S GET 
IT ON! [Setsuna leaps into the rafters, this time followed by the Bionic 
Man FX.]

	[Utena stabs Saiyonji.  He falls over, dead.]

Setsuna: [landing] The winner!  Utena!

						*THE TOWER*

A-kun: Other than my fight with Largo, that has to be the FASTEST fight 
in Anime Death Match history!

?????: Indeed it is, A-kun.  Now, for our NEXT fight, let's see if 
Bombadil is doing any better with his newest guests.  Bombadil?

	[Cut to the room Bombadil was in before.  Bombadil's helmet is now off 
and is cracked in several places, yet remains intact.  However, his 
outfit has even MORE tears and a few burn marks adorn it.]

Bombadil: Sorry about before, but Hal had to be "deactivated".  Anyway, 
I'm here with two martial artists of great standing, Wolfgang Krauser 
and Sagat from Fatal Fury and Street Fighter respectively.  Now, 
gentlemen, in this next fight, it's going to be Cutey Honey, Cutey 
Honey, Sister Jill and Panther Zora in an special X-Zone Cage Match.  
Who are your picks for win-

	[Suddenly, fifty silver robots with no legs or arms to speak of roll 
in.]

Dolecks: EXTERMINATE!  EXTERMINATE!  EXTERMINATE!

Bombadil: A-kun, ?????, we'll be right back.  [Bombadil pulls his 
blaster and lunges at the Dolecks as Krauser and Saget leap into the 
fray.]

	[Cut to the tower.]

A-kun: Poor Bombadil.  First day and nothing but trouble.

?????: Yeah.  Too bad he didn't know that Hal's last ditch effort was to 
call the Dolecks or he might have been able to keep them out.

A-kun: With what?

?????: One of those toddler-proof doors.

A-kun: Oh yeah...

				*RING-SIDE*  [FX: *DING*-*DING*-*DING*]

	[Scene: Setsuna is standing the middle of the ring.  In the red corner, 
Cutey Honey-Anime stands in her blue and red battle outfit.  In the blue 
corner, Cutey Honey-Manga stands in her usual battle gear.  In the green 
corner, Panther Zora stands, butt naked as she is in the third and 
fourth tapes.  In the yellow corner, Sister Jill, looking hideous as 
always stands.  All of the combatants near the center as Setsuna begins 
explaining the rules.]

Setsuna: Okay, listen up.  You fight by yourself.  Five people in, two 
people out.  I'm one of the people getting out.  Try and kill me and 
I'll erase the timeline you're from.  Now, LET'S GET IT ON!  [No sooner 
does she finish that phrase than a giant black cube surrounds the ring, 
then vanishes.]

A-kun's VO: Don't be fooled, even though the X-Zone may not be visible, 
it is STILL there.

?????'s VO: The fighters better not forget that or their existance will 
be rerouted to dev/null/.  And for simplicity, Cutey Honey-Anime will be 
CH-A.  Cutey Honey-Manga will be CH-M.  Panther Zora and Sister Jill 
will be typed out.

	[CH-M leaps forward, intending to kill Sister Jill once and for all.  
Suddenly, Panther Zora smacks her aside as CH-A tackles Panther Zora.  
Panther Zora is about to hit her when Sister Jill bites her on the neck 
and starts drinking her blood.]

Panther Zora: OWWW!  DAMMIT!  KNOCK IT OFF!

	[Panther Zora smacks Sister Jill out of the ring and into the X-Zone.  
Blue lightning arcs from the X-Zone as Sister Jill screams.  The scream 
lasts about five seconds before Sister Jill is nothing.  CH-M leaps at 
Panther Zora, but Panther Zora dodges her.  CH-M goes barreling into 
CH-A who, on reflex, sends CH-M flying into the X-Zone.  CH-M is 
annihilated like Sister Jill.  CH-A turns to Panther Zora, who 
sweatdrops.]

Panther Zora: Doesn't that make you a tad uneasy that she was 
annihilated so easily?

CH-A: Nah, she sucked.  I was a thousand times cooler than her anyway.

Panther Zora: Hey, you know, I don't wanna get annihilated.  How about 
we call a truce?

CH-A: Uh-uh.  You heard Setsuna-san, five people in, two people out.

Panther Zora: [sweatdropping more] Come on, I'm willing to turn over a 
new leaf!  Really I am!

CH-A: You are going to get me like Oprah got what's her name.  I know 
your tricks.

Panther Zora: [walking over to CH-A.] Honey, I'm sick and f^(king tired 
of being evil.  It's lost it's appeal.  Besides... [starts whispering 
into CH-A's ear.  CH-A's eyes grow wide as she blushes.]

CH-A: [pushing Pather Zora away] All right.  Referee Setsuna?

Setsuna: [appearing next to Cutey Honey] Yes?

	[CH-A starts whispering into Setsuna's ear.]

Setsuna: Really?

	[Panther Zora nods.]

Setsuna: [announcing] Panther Zora has conceded the match to Cutey 
Honey-Anime on the grounds that she never wins anyway.  Panther Zora is 
now Cutey Honey-Anime's assistant.  So decrees Sailor Pluto.  Should 
Panther Zora EVER double-cross Cutey Honey-Anime, I shall kick her ass 
back to the Stone Age.

Panther Zora: DAAARLING! [glomps CH-A.]

						*THE TOWER*

A-kun: [O_O] How the hell...

?????: Don't bother, A-kun.  It's out of our hands anyway.  Now, to 
Bombadil, to see if he's had any luck.

	[Cut to Bombadil, Krauser and Sagat battling Dolecks.]

?????: He's busy.  We'll talk to him later.

				*RING-SIDE*  [FX: *DING*-*DING*-*DING*]

	[Scene: Setsuna is standing the middle of the ring.  In the red corner, 
Ayeko and Azusa 2 stand in their Devil Hunter battle garb.  In the blue 
corner, Yohko and Azusa stand in their battle garb.  All of the 
combatants near the center as Setsuna begins explaining the rules.]

Setsuna: All right, this fight has been agreed upon to be non-lethal.  
No soul weapons or hidden weapons of any kind.  Anyone who violates this 
will get their butts beaten into tar and force-fed hospital food for a 
year.

	[All four girls sweatdrop.]

Setsuna: Now, LET'S GET IT ON! [back away into a neutral corner.]

	[Yohko lunges at Ayeko as Azusa 2 and Azusa step off to the other 
neutral corner and start having tea.]

Azusa: It's so sad that they can't get along.

Azusa 2: Main characters, who can figure them out?

	[Yohko flies past.  Ayeko leaps after her.]

Azusa: I haven't seen you since high school, sis.

Azusa 2: Been busy.  You know how it is.

Azusa: Yeah.  Yohko would get her butt stomped if it weren't for me 
saving her every week.

	[Ayeko races past as Yohko jumps after her.]

Azusa 2: Been dating?

Azusa: You kidding?  I'd be lucky if I could MEET a guy.  Yohko usually 
drives them off.  But surely you can get a guy or two.

Azusa 2: As if.  Ayeko gets them, then leaves them.  She's as fickle as 
Yohko.

Azusa: Yeah.  Too bad too.  Some of them were hunks.

Azusa 2: It's times like these when I wish I wasn't Ayeko's partner.

Azusa: Hey!  That's it!  WE can be partners!

Azusa 2: Great idea!  MISS AYEKO!  AZUSA AND I ARE LEAVING!  SEE YOU 
SOON!

Ayeko and Yohko: WHAAAAT!?

Azusa: We're partners now.  See ya.

Yohko: HEY!  What about all the training we went through together?!

Azusa: Thanks! [she and Azusa 2 leave.]

Ayeko: Yohko, if we don't get them back, we may be forced to pair up 
ourselves!

Yohko: ......... It wouldn't be that bad, would it?

Ayeko: I'd put spiders down your dress and steal your boyfriends.

Yohko: .............. AZUSA!  GET BACK HERE!

	[Ayeko and Yohko chase after Azusa and Azusa 2.]

						*THE TOWER*

A-kun: Well, THAT was stupid.

?????: [looking at a monitor] Guess that means it's on to the next match 
because Bombadil is still busy.

				*RING-SIDE*  [FX: *DING*-*DING*-*DING*]

	[Scene: Setsuna is standing the middle of the ring.  In the red corner, 
Terry Bogard is standing, posing dramatically.  In the blue corner, 
Ranma is standing, posing dramatically.  Both combatants near the center 
as Setsuna begins explaining the rules.]

Setsuna: Okay, this time, same rules.  And no kicking each other in the 
gonads on purpose!  It's gotta be accidental or not at all.

	[Terry and Ranma sweatdrop.]

Setsuna: Now, LET'S GET IT ON! [leaps into the rafters, followed by the 
Bionic Man FX.]

	[Ranma and Terry draw up their ki and launch Titanic-shaped ki bolts at 
each other (complete with iceberg and people leaping off).  Then, 
TharzZzDunN lands and beats the crap out of Adam Sandler's chili-cheese 
hotdog.  Ranma and Terry blink.]

Joe Hagashi: TERRY, DON'T LET HIM TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR OPENINGS! 
[leaps into the ring.]

Akane Tendo: RANMA! YOU'RE WIDE-OPEN! [leaps into the ring to hit Ranma 
with her mallet and hits Joe instead.] Oops.

Joe: OWW!  Watch where you swing that thing!

Akane: SHUT UP!  I'LL SWING IT WHERE AND _WHEN_ I WANT TO!

Joe: That so!?

	[Suddenly, Akane and Joe go at it like two goats, literally bashing 
their heads together.]

Ranma: Man, he's weird.

Terry: She's weird too.

Ranma: Come on, let's go have a beer.

Terry: Thanks.  After seeing TharzZzDunN, I need one. [Ranma and Terry 
leave, as do Ukyou, Nodoka, Genma, Soun, Nabiki, Kasumi, Andy, Mai and 
Ryouga.]

	[If you wanted to know, Joe won.  His head was harder.]

						*THE TOWER*

	[A-kun and ????? sigh in unison.]

?????: Let's see if Bombadil is FINALLY ready.

	[Cut to the room where Bombadil, Sagat and Krauser are sipping sodas 
and talking like old buddies.]

Bombadil:...so I said, what prostitute?  That's my horse!

	[Sagat and Krauser burst into laughter and fall over.]

A-kun's VO: Bombadil, if you could do a contrast for the last fight?

Bombadil: Last fight?  OH CRAP!  Sorry guys, the Dolecks kept us busy.  
It wasn't until we pulled out some magnets that we finally beat them.  
Anyway, Krauser, Sagat, it's a fight between the Original Lovely 
Angels...

Sagat: Aren't they called the Dir---er, never mind.

Bombadil: Smart move.  As I was saying, it's a fight between the 
Original Lovely Angels and the Flash Lovely Angels.  Who's going to win?

Krauser: I'd have to bet on the Originals.  The Flash girls are waaaay 
behind in experience.

Sagat: I'll go with the long shot and pick the Flash girls.  The 
Originals have been pushing their luck and the Flash girls might have 
more luck than the Originals.

Bombadil: All right, that's that.

	[Cut back to the tower.]

A-kun: Right, time to get to the match!  For easy writing, the originals 
will be marked as K-O and Y-O and the Flash will be marked as K-F and 
Y-F.

?????: We go LIVE to the Death Match Arena for the Title Bout of the 
night.

				*RING-SIDE*  [FX: *DING*-*DING*-*DING*]

	[Scene: Setsuna is standing the middle of the ring.  In the red corner, 
K-O and Y-O are standing in their silver battle-bikinis.  In the blue 
corner, K-F and Y-F are standing, posing in their 3WA outfits.  Both 
combatants near the center as Setsuna begins explaining the rules.]

Setsuna: Only one combatant in the ring at a time.  No calling in help.  
No bringing your ships into the fight.  No teleporting.  No wearing 
white after Labor Day.  No teasing alligators with food that you're 
holding in your teeth.  No quoting Martha Stewart cause that lady has 
more time on her hands than I do.  No screaming, whining, bawling or 
passing wind while in the match is still in progress.  NO SINGING THE 
BARNEY THEME SONG!  It's to the pin or the death of both team members or 
to the submission.  If you've been pinned or killed, you cannot re-enter 
the ring to help your partner.  The losers become the slaves of the 
winners as per the agreements that you all signed earlier.

Both teams: WHAT?!  That wasn't in the contract!

Setsuna: And lastly, NO WHINING ABOUT HAVING NOT READ THE SMALL PRINT!

Y-F: I'll go first.

K-F: Right.

Y-O: Wish me luck.

K-O: Good luck.

	[Y-O leaps at Y-F, who yelps and leaps out of the way.  Y-O starts 
chasing Y-F around the ring until Y-F finally spins around and catchs 
Y-O in a clothesline.  Y-O crashes to the mat and Y-F pounces on her, 
punching her in the gut repeatedly.  Y-O kicks Y-F away and gets to her 
feet.]

Y-O: Time for the Bloody Card (tm).

K-O: IT'S _NEVER_ TIME FOR THE BLOODY CARD (tm)!! [dives to the floor.  
K-F copies her.]

	[Y-O pulls out her Bloody Card (tm) as Y-F draws her sword.  Y-O flings 
the Bloody Card (tm) and it's ion propulsion unit propels it on a 
errorless course straight for Y-F.  Y-F activates her sword and with a 
flurry of swings, reduces the once mighty Bloody Card (tm) to harmless 
dust.]

Y-O: [eyes widening] The....Bloody.....Card....(tm).....failed?

K-O: [leaping to her feet] WHAT?!

Y-O: She just... sliced it to pieces...

K-O: [;;~_~;;] Then kill her before she does the same to you!

Y-O: Right! [pulls out a blaster and shoots at Y-F, who uses her sword 
to block the blasts.] this <ZOT> <ZOT> ain't <ZOT> happening <ZOT> <ZOT> 
this <ZOT> ain't <ZOT> happening <ZOT> <ZOT> <ZOT> this <ZOT> ain't 
<ZOT> <ZOT> happening <ZOT> <ZOT> this <ZOT> ain't <ZOT> happening <ZOT> 
<ZOT> this <ZOT> <ZOT> ain't <ZOT> <ZOT> happening <ZOT> <ZOT> <ZOT> 
this <ZOT> ain't <ZOT> happening <ZOT> <ZOT> this <ZOT> <ZOT> ain't 
<ZOT> <ZOT> happening <ZOT> <ZOT> this <ZOT> ain't <ZOT> <ZOT> happening 
<ZOT> <ZOT> this <ZOT> <ZOT> ain't <ZOT> happening <ZOT> <ZOT> <ZOT> 
this <ZOT> ain't <ZOT> happening <ZOT> <ZOT> <ZOT> this <ZOT> ain't 
<ZOT> <ZOT> happening <ZOT> <ZOT> <ZOT> <ZOT>...

	[Y-F suddenly leaps at Y-O, who is still firing. <ZOT>  Y-F manages to 
hack Y-O's gun to pieces as well as her outfit before collapsing from 
the hole in her torso.  Y-O yelps and leaps out of the ring and into a 
towel that K-O has for her.  They tag and K-O enters the rings to see 
K-F checking Y-F's body.]

K-F: WHY YOU... [pulls out her gun] <MEGAZARK>

K-O: YIPE!  [leaps for safety, but finds none.  She begins dodging 
wildly.] <MEGAZARK> <MEGAZARK> <MEGAZARK> Can't <MEGAZARK> <MEGAZARK> we 
<MEGAZARK> just <MEGAZARK> get <MEGAZARK> <MEGAZARK> <MEGAZARK> 
<MEGAZARK> along?! <MEGAZARK> <MEGAZARK> <MEGAZARK> <MEGAZARK> 
<MEGAZARK>

K-F: <MEGAZARK> No. <MEGAZARK> <CLICK> Huh? <CLICK> Damn cheap models!  
RAAAAH!

	[K-F tackles K-O and puts her into a sleeper hold.  K-O struggles, but 
can't break the hold or over-power K-F.  K-O soon falls asleep and K-F 
pins her.]

Setsuna: ONE....TWO....THREE!  SHE'S PINNED!

	[Y-O leaps into the ring (in a new battle-bikini), but K-F grabs her 
and flings her across the room.  Y-O gets up and finds that K-F is gone.  
Suddenly, Y-O feels someone jab her neck and feels really sleepy.  She 
collapses.]

K-F: HA!  Bet you didn't know I was from an Amazon Tribe, did'ja?

Setsuna: The winner, Kei from the Lovely Angels Flash!

						*THE TOWER*

A-kun: This was MOST unexpected!  The original Lovely Angels had NEVER 
suffered such a....well, I guess they have lost a few times, but only in 
the first encounters.

?????: That's right, A-kun.  There have been occasions where they lose, 
but they always get their man.  Unfortunately, they lost to a woman... 
[notices something down on the ring] What's this?!

	[Cut to Ringside.  Kei-Flash is arguing with another woman with long 
brown hair and dark eyes.]

Kei-Flash: Look, lady, I don't care WHO you are.  This Kei and Yuri are 
MINE!

Shasti: I don't WANT them, I want to KILL THEM!

Kei-Flash: Fine, Death Match.  Next Episode.

Shasti: [smiling] You're on.

	[Cut to the Tower.]

A-kun: Whooooo-boy.  This'll be difficult to explain to the higher-ups.  
Anyway, I'm A-kun Daniels-

?????: -and I'm ????? Diamond, saying "Good Fight-"

A-kun: -and "Good Night."

============================================================================

	A-kun, Death Incarnate #235320-BA, Typer of Words (technically called 
an AUTHOR).  Reply at akun15@hotmail.com
	?????, Mystery Girl, Commentor on the Typing of Words (technically 
called an EDITOR {technically known as a pain in the ass - The Return of 
TharzZzy, the Umpire Strikes Out}).

	To check out older episodes, go to A-kun's webpage at 
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Island/3968/fanfics.html
	They're under Everything Else.


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