An alternate ending to chapter 4 of my story...not intended to be an
actual part.  (I'm feeling really bad right now, which is why this one
is so dark.)

Contrary to my normal writing style, I am not documenting what I'm
seeing.  I'm writing from the heart.



        Dragon's Eye View
            Alternate Chapter 4
         Broken bonds


I wake up in my hospital bed...remembering the accident.  Remembering my
past.

*Skye's dead.*  My thoughts mutter in my mind.  *Skye's dead and it's
all your fault.  Dracat's dead.  She died trying to save you.  Klaud is
dead.  He died by your own hands.  You kill everyone who touches you.*

*Maybe that's right* I think, *Maybe it is all my fault...that
everything around me dies at my touch.*

I look at my hands...seeing the claws emerge from my fingers.  *It would
be so simple...to just let go.*

*The pain...of losing everyone...everything...gone...*

My hand reaches towards me...time slowing..........



*****

I wake up in my hospital bed.  Looking around.  "Dracat?  Rayne?
Hello?"

A nurse comes up to me, carrying Darcat, "You are really lucky, young
lady.  You and your cat here.  But your friend..the one who was
driving.  She was pretty beat up by the car crash."

I look at Dracat.  She mews at me, smiling.  Then _it_ happens.

Dra's eyes go wide...she mews...calling out...

I can hear the pain in her voice.  the tears in her eyes.

"What's happening?" the nurse asks me, starting to look worried.

She has a right to be.

"Check on Rayne...now!  Something's wrong!"  I can hear the terror in my
voice...feel it catching my throat.

The nurse bolts out of the room...leaving me and Dracat alone...

Dra stares at me...tears in her eyes..."Mew?"

I can feel a touch...a slight tingle...

A bond.

"Oh no..." I whisper..tears in my eyes.  I hug the little kitten to
me...and we cry together...

The nurse returns...tears in her eyes, "Your friend...Rayne...she's"

"I know" I whisper.

"She's dead."


*****
*****


I was feeling something on the order of extremely sad...and somewhat
suicidal last night.

Because I lost one of the people I love...and she hated me...for
something I didn't do.

Because I was close to losing another person that I love.  Because of my
actions.

Because my family...which I care so much about...was falling apart
around my ears.

Everything was going wrong...nothing going right.



I wrote this out of hopelessness...but even at the end, there is a touch
of hope.  Maybe Dai can find it.


To Jenny, Tammy, David, Becky...I love you all.  please don't hate
me...even if I do get depressed like this.

I put the knife away.  and won't use it.  But I was so tempted to...last
night.

I hope everything turns out right.



Liath Corrine Hidson
Liath Shadow
Shadow Dancer
Shadow-Chan

"The shadows surround me tonight..beckoning...calling.
Asking me to join them in the dance of eternity.
But, a bit of hope...before I even step...
Turns me back towards the light."