Rurouni Kenshin � Nobuhiro Watsuki, Shuiesha and Sony Music
Entertainment.

Presenting�
An original Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction
Written by Mark Eymer
(saotome@micron.net)

Rurouni Kenshin: Me, Myself and I

 Kenshin. So many times have I heard that name called at me, yet it
isn�t what I am, what�s inside me. Hitokiri. The demon which possesses
and taints the deepest fibers of my identity and past.

 I am Himura Kenshin, yet I am also Hitokiri Battousai. Never before has
a man been made to be two men at once, yet I am.

 The wanderer, the pacifist, the helper. I am a rurouni with a vow to
never kill again, but �again� is an integral part of that vow.  I was
once the bane of many men, the master assassin of the Ishin government,
those who sought to overthrow the shogunate and replace it with this
corrupt Meiji government�

 I�ve felt so much grief and pain throughout my relatively short life,
and yet I�ve caused tenfold that amount. Many have never felt the blood
of another man track down their face like fresh tears. Many more have
never felt the resistance against a blade when it passes through a body,
or heard the gurgling that comes with a dying breath, the breath of
another silenced life...

 I�ve been wounded, almost mortally, many a time. I carry the scars of
many battles, yet I have no pride in them, as many would. They are
reminders, memories of past sins, committed against those who didn�t
deserve it, those who were innocent, or those who shouldn�t have died
for a cause such as this.

 The feeling of steel, burning its way through your flesh, searing a
fiery hole in your belly as it passes through you, these things I�ve
experienced. Hatred, anger, and purpose, the emotions of a killer.

 These things I thrived on, causing death wherever I passed. I�ve seen
friends, close compatriots, cut down before me. My own wife, dead,
because of me. And yet, here I am, chasing the dream of a new love,
Kaoru.

 Can I bring myself to taint her with my soul? The burdens I carry are
too much for one set of shoulders, and yet I find myself able to.
Somehow.

 Much like this sword, this sakaba blade that feels so comfortable at my
waist. I carry it to protect those whom I love, those who I call friend
in this friendless world, this unforgiving existence.

 Penance, the one thing I seek, seems ever elusive, yet I strive for it
anyway. I want to somehow reconcile the losses I�ve caused, the grief
and suffering brought about by this hated war. Nothing can bring back a
lost brother, or father, or friend. I know this as well as anyone. Yet,
for those like Shigeru, who blame themselves for sins that are my
responsibility, I may be able to apologize. Apologize for the things
I�ve seen, the things I�ve experienced, the things I�ve done, and most
importantly, the person I was.

 I need to say I�m sorry, for those who died in the senseless war for
this corrupt government. The government I helped put into place. I want
to be able to leave this world, knowing that I did more good than bad. I
want to know that I helped those who needed it, and smote those who have
been consumed by evil. I need to know that I am a good person, and that
my wrongs have been atoned for.

 I only hope that in some small measure, I can, yet my hope is small. My
sins are many.


Writer�s Notes:

 An idea conceived of the scene during the Kenshin Movie where he has
just killed Gentatsu, and the dying man�s blood runs down Kenshin�s
face. What would that feel like? I hope I never know.

Peace, the only true good.

Mark Eymer
(saotome@micron.net)