Okay, this is just a spamfic. It's quite a
silly one, too.
All characters herein are property of their
various creators, including representations
of the creators, themselves. I just don't
remember all the names.
All universes exist, side by side, yet
infinitely far apart. There is a boundless
energy field that holds them apart, though
it is often breached, most often by Fanfic
Authors. However, in one area near the center
of this field, if anything boundless can be
said to have a center, is a massive building.
This building, called the Foundation for
Interdimensional Studies and Research, is an
imposing structure, where the inhabitants of
numerous dimensions go during a respite between
adventures.
Currently, a large crowd is milling around
outside one of the Foundation's auditoriums.
If one were familiar with the so-called
literature of the Earth dimension, one would
then realize that fiction, isn't. Fiction is
actually an author getting a psychic glimpse
of one of these other worlds. Here, we see
Elric of Melnibone smoking a cigarette with
the Ogre Slayer, and Ranma Saotome sparring
with Colonel Guile. In short, many of the
characters from fiction, manga, anime, and
video games are awaiting the next lecture.
Eventually, a bell sounds, and the crowd
files into the stadium seating. A slide screen
is sitting next to the podium onstage, and the
most respected scientist in two hundred
dimensions is waiting, with her assistant.
"Welcome," said Professor Mihoshi, "to our
dissertation on why individuals from the
dimensions tagged as 'Manga', 'Anime', or both
have such large eyes, in comparison to those
from other dimensions. Washu, my assistant,
will run the slides."
The first slide was of Cyclops, Jean Grey,
Wolverine, and Beast, from the Marvel Universe.
"Examine these subjects. Notice that their eyes
are in the proportions for nearly every other
universe. Please ignore the red glow from the
eyes of the man on the right."
The next slide was of the Tenchi Muyo crew.
It was also upside down. "WASHU !!" growled
Professor Mihoshi.
"Sory, I just don't understand this thing!"
came the plaintive response.
">sigh< Well, anyway, observe the size of
the eyes here. Notice that they are considerably
larger than those of the previous subjects."
Mihoshi placed her glasses on her nose. "Before
I begin my exposition, does anyone have a
personal theory as to why ?"
A short, cute girl, of one of the Manga/Anime
dimensions stood up. "Because it makes us so
KAWAII ???" She blinked once, then twice.
Professor Mihoshi blinked once, then twice,
then put her face in her hands, ignoring the
facefault that afflicted half the audience.
"Well, anyway, here is my theory."
The next slide was one of Earth, as seen
from space. "Shortly after the appearance of
primeval Man on these various worlds, a
gravitational anamoly afflicted them. They
began to draw in massive amounts of space dust,
creating an intense cloud cover, enough to rival
that of Venus. It also pulled the plantet
closer to the Sun, compensating for the loss of
heat such an opaque ionosphere would create.
This had two effects upon the people.
"First, their eyes grew larger, to accomodate
an increased number of light-sensitive cells in
their retinas. Second, due to the increased
gravitational pull of Earth, it caused an
increase both in reaction speed,and physical
strength, in the nascent human race."
"Excuse me, Professor Mihoshi," interrupted
Frodo, of the Lord of the Rings Dimension.
"Yes, Professor Frodo ?"
"I can see how an increase in the gravity
of Earth would increase strength, but how would
it increase reaction speed ?"
"Good question," replied Mihoshi. "With an
increased pull of gravity, the time a normal
huan being would take to fall down would be
reduced. In order to catch themselves before
they hit face first, higher reaction speeds
would naturally evolve.
"To continue, at some time after the first
appearance of Cro-Magnon man, this anamoly
dissipated. With fewer light-sensitive cells
needed for normal vision, those cells grew
fewer. However, the actual size of the eyes
did not change, as that size had become to
be recognized as attractive by early man.
As well, most of the increased strength and
speed was lost, although some genetic
potential was retained. We need only look
at the exploits of Ranma Saotome and
Ryoga Hibiki to observe this in action."
The crowd was murmoring furiously at
this point, trading opinions and possible
other effects of this 'gravitational
anamoly', when a brilliant white light
filled the auditorium. The crowd grew silent,
and stared in awe at the form stepping out
of the light. It was a relatively petite
Japanese woman, obviously not of a 'Manga'
or 'Anime' dimension, with glasses, and an
infectious smile.
"Wh...who are you ?" asked a dumbstruck
Professor Mihoshi.
The woman bowed slightly, but politely.
"Hello, I am Rumiko Takahashi."
Nearly half the crowd, mostly from Nerima,
as well as inhabitants of Maison Ikkoku, and
various other individuals, immediately
kowtowed at this pronouncement.
Looking around, she spoke again. "I am
sorry, Professor, but you are wrong. As one
of the true Creators, I know the real reason
why the people of Manga and Anime have such
large eyes."
"Oh, please, tell us, why ?"
The author looked around, and took a deep
breath. The audience held theirs, even the
ones kowtowing.
"Because it makes you so KAWAII!!!"
Mass facefault.
C&C really isn't needed, but if it tickled
your funnybone, lemme know.
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