Last night, I got drunk after some REALLY bad news- I'm being evicted, 
along with all my housemates, as the house has been condemned. 

How else could I come up with such a... terrible idea?

Please kill me...


Tokyo-3 was in chaos. Cross-shaped explosions, buildings flattened, but 
one thing was certain: the EVA units would be deployed to save the day.

Deep in the geofront, Ikari Gendou was looking over the abysmal report.

"They're WHERE?!"

"Ummm... Pilots Asuka, Rei, Touji and Shinji are in the bahamas."

Gendou took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying 
to sort out exactly what had happened. Then he looked up.

"WHY are they there?"

"Ummm... you know we have a chaplain on base?"

Gendou facefaulted at 12 on the richter scale.

"Never mind. Prepare our backup weapon... I prayed we'd never have to 
use this."

*****

Above ground, a series of speakers appeared, and started broadcasting on 
a scale unprecedented. "Time for Evantellitubbies!"

Unit 01 jumped up...

"TINKY WINKY!"

Unit 03...

"DIPSY!"

Unit 00... 

"LAA LAA!"

Unit 02...

"PO!"

The four EVA units started to dance round an extremely bewildered angel, 
and Unit 00 opened an armoury building, pulling out a huge orange ball. 
It bounced towards the angel, which then vanished in a bemused 
explosion.

*****

"Well, commander, it worked. But what next?"

Gendou smiled. "My favourite part."

*****

All four EVA units revealed S2 engines, as Lucifer appeared in the sky.

Eventually Unit 01's S2 engine started showing a short film...


I am not going to continue this.

Comments and criticism welcome.

If you have flames, cover your opinions in a liberal layer of grease and 
stick them where the sun don't shine, as my week is bad enough already.



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