Queen Beryl was feeling cranky.  Her first general 
was now mostly dysfunctional.  Well, still dysfunctional 
but in a new and even MORE annoying way.  Her second 
general, on the other hand, seemed to be accomplishing 
nothing, although at least he didn't have the Tennis 
Warriors breathing down his neck yet.  I need some good 
news, she thought.

        "Good news, my queen!"  Youma Xerox said.  "Good 
news, my queen!"  

         She nearly fell off her throne.  How long had he 
been there?  "Good news?"

        "I have located your two missing generals!"

         That would be good news indeed.  She'd only found 
two of them and...something hadn't been quite right with 
either of them.  A tiny part of her brain wondered if the 
first two had REALLY been either of her old generals.  
Still, while Youma Xerox had several annoying habits, and 
usually made the same mistake twice, he didn't make too 
many mistakes.  "Bring them to me."

         One of them did indeed evoke faint memories.  She 
had been certain one of her generals was blond and a 
little effiminate, and he fit the bill, clad in a running 
suit.  The other one, however...was green haired.  None of 
her generals had green hair.  She was also quite 
definitely female.  They both stared defiantly, but 
confusedly as well at her.  "Youma Xerox," she said.

        "Yes, my queen?" he said.  "Yes, my queen?"

        "Youma Xerox.  None of the generals were female.  
This one is quite definitely female."

         "Well, Zoicite kept getting mistaken for a woman 
and..."  

          Beryl cut in before Xerox could repeat himself.  
"Did he have green hair?"

        "No,"  Youma Xerox said.  "No."

        "Send them to the Salt Mines.  They are NOT the 
droids we're looking for."

         "I thought I was looking for your generals, my 
queen.  And since when did we have any salt mines?" he 
asked.  "I thought..."

         "Start them their own personal Salt Mines, then,"  
Beryl said, sighing.  "And send me Jinnai."

         Jinnai arrived soon enough.  "I have a new plan, my 
queen."

         "If it involves Makoto, I will send you to eternal 
sleep."

         "I will issue them a personal challenge to a tennis 
match to the death.  Then, when they arrive, I will have a 
horde of Youma swarm in and kill them."

         Beryl frowned.  It sounded quite good, but then, so 
did all of Jinnai's plans.  The hard part would be sending 
enough Youma.  "How do you propose to send all the 
Youma?  We need more energy to move them all between 
the dimensions."

         He smiled.  "I have a plan."

*******************

Marmalade Moon, Episode 4:
http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/MMoon

by John Biles

"If Jinnai was going to put a big illusion of a head over 
the city, why didn't he use Brad Pitt?
Jinnai is just uuuuuggggllly!"

********************

       Weeks had passed, and in a series of filler episodes 
which we will skim over since we aren't getting paid by 
the word, the three Tennis Warriors confronted a series 
of plots by General Jinnai.  Life settled into a steady 
pattern for Miki.  Get up.  Spar verbally with Yuu at 
breakfast.  Go to school.  Get jealous when Setsuna tried 
to flirt with Ginta.  Be relieved when Ginta didn't notice.  
Talk to Meiko.  Fight the monster of the day.  Look for the 
Moon Princess.  Not find her.  Do homework.  Eat dinner.  
Sleep.

         They had made some progress.  Miki had looked at 
just about everyone at her school and was quite certain 
that none of them were a Tennis Warrior.  The next one 
had to be attending some other school.  She wasn't at 
Sagaki, either.  Arimi-chan had checked.  

        Miki had decided that she liked Arimi, although she 
would have liked her more if she wasn't after Yuu.  Not 
that she had any interest in Yuu.  No way.  He was just so 
irritating.  

        Still, life was pretty good.  Meiko was back to 
normal; no more strange messages in the shared diary.  
Except for a doodle of Goth Smurf, but that had been 
pretty funny.  

         It was lunchtime, so Miki sat with Setsuna and 
Meiko like she usually did.  "Here you go," she said, 
passing the diary to Meiko.

         When Meiko reached to take it, she noticed that 
Meiko was wearing a very nice ring that Miki hadn't seen 
before.  It was white gold with an inset ruby.  It looked 
pretty expensive with the gold carved into interlaced 
vines and flowers.  "Wow, that's a nice ring!"  Miki said.  
"I...I didn't forget your birthday or something, did I?"

        Meiko blushed.  "It..."

        "Oooh, did Satoshi give it to you?"  Setsuna said, her 
eyes glittering as she looked at the ring.  "You're lucky to 
have such a cute boyfriend."

        "He is NOT my boyfriend!"  Meiko said, dropping the 
diary in her handbag.  "No matter how much he flaps his 
mouth or butts in."

        Miki and Setsuna could see Satoshi approaching, 
tiptoeing towards Meiko.  He put a finger to his lips.  Miki 
nodded and Setsuna giggled.  

        "What's so funny?"

         "You're cute when you're angry,"  Satoshi said, 
leaning over her shoulder.  "So what time should I pick 
you up on Friday?"

         "Half an hour after hell freezes over!"  Meiko said, 
turning her head to not look at him.

         "Right.  Seven o'clock."

         "I did not say seven o'clock!"  Meiko shouted, finally 
turning to face him, while Miki and Setsuna both laughed.

         "No, I did."  Satoshi said.

          Meiko stood up and waved her arms about, "You're 
incorrigible!"

         "Thanks.  I've been practicing for years."

          She stomped off and he followed her.  Setsuna 
turned to Miki, "Kinda reminds me of you and Yuu."

         "Yuu and I are NOTHING like that.  All he does is 
make fun of me."

         "I think he likes you," she smiled.  "Now, here's my 
latest plan to get Ginta to ask me out.  Let's see if we 
can work out the bugs this time."

          Miki leaned forward.  "You know...you could just try 
telling him you like him."

         "But what if he doesn't like me and he tells all his 
friends about it and I end up humiliated?"

         Miki really didn't want to follow that line of 
thought to the end of the line; it brought up bad 
memories.  Why are you always so secretive, Setsuna?  
Setsuna never did anything the direct way; no, she came 
up with elaborate plans to get things done indirectly.  
Which then blew up in her face.  This one was even more 
overblown than the last one.

********************

        Miki got home late; first she had tennis practice 
after school, then she had gone over to Meiko's house and 
helped her with some homework, then they had watched a 
news special about Jewelry store robberies.  The police 
had mounted a watch on the five Jewelry stores that 
hadn't been robbed yet.  Then they'd watched a report on 
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which was on the rise in 
Tokyo.  Then they'd watched a fashion show, and the 
latest episode of Tennis Warrior V and then...it was nine 
pm.  

         I should have called home instead of panicking and 
running, she thought.  She raced in the door.  "Sorry, I'm 
late!"  The house was pitchblack except for a dim glow in 
the living room, and all was silent.

         Surely, they can't ALL be in bed, she thought.  And 
what's that glow?  It was eerie, and she could hear faint 
voices in the living room now, and ominous music.  
Suddenly, the entire scene struck her as a preliminary 
scene to an axe-murderer attack in a horror movie.  She 
crept down the hallway, her hand nervously fingering her 
transformation locket.  Not that she needed to touch it to 
transform, but...

        Footsteps.  Inside the house, coming down the 
stairs.  She flattened herself against the wall, running 
over her transformation sequence in her mind.  Then 
something furry rubbed against her leg.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"  She lashed 
out, kicking it.  

        "MRAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!"  It was Luna, who flew 
into the air and right into Yuu's arms as he came into 
sight, entering the living room.  

        Yuu blinked and petted her.  "Miki, what on Earth are 
you doing?"

        Luna growled angrily at Miki, who blushed.  "I 
thought...I...uh..."  Her stomach rumbled.  "I'm sorry, Luna.  
I thought you were a...mmmm..."

       "Monster?"  Yuu asked, laughing.  "I saved you dinner.  
It's in a bento box in the kitchen.  You can microwave it."  
He put Luna down on the couch.  "I'm watching this cheesy 
Dracula movie, if you wanna join me."

       "I really am sorry, Luna,"  Miki said, coming over and 
kneeling down by Luna.  "You startled me."  Luna didn't 
look convinced.

        Yuu said, "I'll go warm up the dinner; you can finish 
apologizing in private."  He grinned and went into the 
kitchen.

        Luna whispered, "Where have you been?  Yuu was 
worried about you."

        She whispered back, "You gotta be kidding."

        "He called a bunch of people, but they said you 
weren't there."

         "But I was at Meiko's!"

         "The maid said you two had gone over here."

         Miki was confused.  Yuu soon returned with the 
dinner, which was simple, but quite good.  She sat down 
on the couch by Yuu and started eating.  "This is good.  Did 
your mom make it?"

         "I did.  Our folks decided to go to a love hotel."

         Miki boggled.  "You're kidding."

         "Well, your dad said he had never been to one and 
so...they all went."

         Finishing off another mouthful of food, Miki sighed.  
"My parents are insane."

         "Ditto."  He turned to the TV.  "Now, this is a great 
scene.  Watch really carefully, and you can see the bats 
crashing into each other as their strings get tangled 
together."

         By the time Miki was done eating, she was laughing 
every few seconds at Yuu's running commentary on the 
film.  She'd never had so much fun watching a bad horror 
movie in her life.  Around the same time that Dracula got 
his fangs stuck in a door, she glanced over at Yuu.  
Sometimes, you can be really nice, she thought.  I wish 
you could be like that all the time.  It was a wonderful 
evening.

***********

        "It'll never work,"  Ginta said.

        "It's guaranteed to work,"  Arimi said.  They sat at a 
table in an all-night coffee shop.  "We pretend to go out, 
they get jealous, we each get what we want."

         Ginta frowned.  "I don't like lying to Miki."

         "Got a better plan?"

         He frowned again.  "No."

         Arimi drank another cup of coffee and yawned.  She 
frowned.  Something wasn't right about this coffee.  You 
shouldn't get MORE tired from drinking coffee, but now 
she wanted to lie down and have a nice nap.  Ginta was 
yawning too.  Maybe they gave me decaffinated, she 
thought.  "I think this is my cue to go to bed."

        "I'll walk you home," he said, standing up and 
yawning.  

         "I'll be fine."  It's not like I can't take care of 
myself, she thought.  Being a Tennis Warrior means no 
more worrying about muggers.  She stood up.

         "If we're gonna do this, it's the sort of thing a 
boyfriend does," he said.

        She smiled.  Arimi always enjoyed getting what she 
wanted.  Persuading him had been easier than she 
expected, though.

***********

         Miki got woken up by her mother.  "Good morning, 
Miki!"

         Miki blinked, then realized she had fallen asleep on 
the couch with Luna in her lap, and her body lying at an 
angle against Yuu's body.  He was still asleep as well.  
"I...did I really fall asleep here?"

        "Yes.  We turned off the TV when we got back, but 
we decided to let you sleep,"  Rumi said.  "Anyway, I'm 
going to go make breakfast while you two," she shook 
Yuu, who remained stubbornly asleep, "get cleaned up."  
She yawned.  "And I think I'll make some morning coffee 
first.  Jin really wore me out last night."  She wandered 
off to the kitchen while Miki blushed.  

***********

        "You didn't have any trouble getting home last night, 
Miki, did you?"  Meiko asked.  "When you were late today, 
I was really worried."

       "I didn't get to bed until late and then Mama's 
breakfast put us all to sleep somehow."  

        Setsuna blinked.  Meiko laughed.  "Put you to sleep?"

        "We all kinda nodded off except for Luna.  But she 
got food from a can, and even Mama couldn't mess that 
up."

        Ryoko-sensei walked up to the table.  "Don't forget 
we have a match with Tomobiki High School in a week.  
We have to practice extra-hard."   As she leaned forward, 
a silver star with an emerald set in it on a silver chain 
swung forward out of her blouse.  

        Setsuna's eyes focused in on it like a snake spotting 
a mouse.  "Wow, that's nice!"

         Meiko nodded.  "It's beautiful."

         Flushing a little, Ryoko said, "Shinichi-kun gave it 
to me for my birthday."

         Setsuna blinked.  "Your boyfriend?"

         Miki said, "That's Na-chan, right?"

         Ryoko nodded, smiling.  Meiko's eyes narrowed and 
if anyone had been looking, they could have seen little 
lightning bolts jumping back and forth.  "We've been 
friends for a long time; we went to high school together 
here."  

         "Happy birthday!"  Miki said.  

         "Yeah, happy birthday!"  Setsuna said, smiling.

         Meiko's happy birthday statement set a new record 
for lack of enthusiasm, but no one noticed but Ryoko.  
"Well, I need to go find the rest of the team and remind 
them," she said, handing an envelope to Setsuna and Miki.  
"Here's your progress report."

         "Okay!"  Miki said.

         "I think she and Namura-sensei would make a good 
couple,"  Setsuna said.

         "Yeah!  I think they'd be great,"  Miki said.  "They're 
the two best teachers in the school."

         "Most schools get mad if teachers marry each 
other,"  Meiko said irritably.  "So don't go ordering your 
bridesmaid dresses."

        "Geez, Meiko, you don't have to get mad about it,"  
Miki said.  "What's the big deal?"

        "Nothing."

***************

         On her way home from school with Yuu, Miki opened 
her progress report.  It said, 'Meet me at Junk Jungle at 
five to discuss Tennis Warrior Business.  Bring Luna.'

         She read the message, then realized Yuu was 
glancing over her shoulder.  Panicking, she crumpled up 
the message and ate it.  "It's not nice to read over 
people's shoulders, Yuu."

        "So who are you meeting at Junk Jungle?"

        Miki's eyes got big.  "You read the whole thing?"

        "I got as far as 'at five' before you ate it."  He 
laughed.  "Not getting enough cellulose in your diet?  
We've got some trees in the back yard you could eat."

       "Yuuu!!!!!"  

        'Twas the season for clobbering Yuu.

***********

         Junk Jungle was mostly a clothing store which also 
sold coffee.  It made a fairly good meeting place.  Miki 
got there early, which pleased her.  Ryoko was next to 
arrive.  Then she saw Arimi coming.  Holding hands with 
Ginta.  She stared in shock.  No way.  How could she...her 
and...no way!

        The two parted a ways from the shop, and Ginta 
wandered off into another store while Arimi walked on 
down the street to the shop.  "I'm not late, am I?"

        "Was that...did you..."  Miki asked.

        "No, you're on time.  Anyway, I called this meeting 
because I think I know why Jewelry stores are being 
robbed,"  Ryoko said.

         "The Youma are robbing stores to finance their 
evil?"  Miki asked. "But no one has seen any monsters 
there."

         "They're looking for the ring of Serenity.  A white 
gold band with a diamond set in it.  It's the most 
powerful thing in the universe.  I was tinkering around 
with the Mercury computer, trying to figure out what 
Beryl might do next, and called up a file on it.  Also...I 
think I've figured out where Sailor Mercury is."

        "Cool!"  Miki said, sipping her coffee.  "Where is 
she?"

        "Shinonome High School.  That's about all I got out 
of it that was useful other than something about 'Pluto's 
Old Boyfriend'."

        Miki blinked.  "The Disney cartoon dog?"

        Luna laughed.  "Tennis Warrior Pluto?"

        "There's a Tennis Warrior Pluto?"  Arimi asked.

        "There's one for all of the planets,"  Luna said.  
"Each of the planets sent one representative.  So, there's 
nine Tennis Warriors."

         Arimi did some quick counting.  "But what about the 
Earth?"

        "Earth had its own brigade of special warriors who 
guarded its rulers.  All male.  I remember Tennis Warrior 
Pluto was engaged to one of them before everything fell 
apart.  And several of the other Tennis Warriors were 
engaged to some of the Golden Golfers."

         Arimi laughed.  "The Golden Golfers?"

         Luna looked embarrassed.  "Hey, I didn't name them."

         "I bet the Masked Golfer is one of them!"  Miki said.

         "I think you're right,"  Ryoko said.  "Anyway, Sailor 
Mercury is at Shinonome.  I know a teacher on their staff; 
I'll go see him and scout the place out.  I've been 
wondering how much trouble Fujisawa-kun's been getting 
into, anyway."  She laughed a little.  "The man is a total 
nut."

         Arimi frowned.  "We're being watched."

         "Youma?"

         "Rokutanda."  She pointed stealthily across the 
street at a lamp post which had Rokutanda hiding behind 
it, dressed as a kabuki stagehand.  "He gets one point for 
the costume, but..."

         Miki relaxed.  "He'll give up eventually.  Better than 
a youma."

         "Better for YOU, maybe."

***********

        Meiko was in the library early the next morning.  
She was trying hard not to fume.  A light touch on the 
shoulder and she swung around.  It was Na-chan, yawning.  
"Good morning, Meiko.  I'd suggest not having any coffee 
for a while."

         She blinked, looked around, and hugged him.  "You 
didn't show up last night."

         "I was tired, drank some coffee, and passed out.  I 
think there's something wrong with coffee in town; I've 
heard this a lot lately."  He hugged her back, then stepped 
back.  "I can't stay long; I need to go catch up, but I 
wanted to let you know I was okay."

       "Why did you...I mean..."  After all her fuming, she 
couldn't bring herself to wreck his smile by asking why 
he had given such an expensive piece of jewelry to Ryoko; 
she had seen it in a jewelry shop a few weeks ago, and 
she was pretty sure it had cost at least 50, 000 yen more 
than the ring he had given her.  Maybe I'm just being 
petty, she thought.  It was her birthday, and if he'd given 
me something TOO nice, then people might notice.  

         "I promise I won't do it again," he said, adjusting 
the little white gold pin of two crossed racquets she had 
given him.  "Does this look right here?"

          She smiled and put herself to work moving it to a 
better place on his shirt.  For a moment, she felt like 
they were married, and it was a good feeling that gave 
her pleasant day dreams the rest of the day.

***********

        Makoto Mizuhara was not a happy camper.  He had 
been having nightmares for weeks, each of them ending 
with horrible monsters eating him.  He had waking 
dreams too.  They weren't quite the same; for one thing, 
he didn't die horribly in them.  Instead, Nanami would 
save him from the monsters.  It was rather embarrassing.  
She was cute and an old friend and maybe even something 
more, but it made him feel like the hero's girlfriend in a 
Sentai show.

        He snapped out of one of them with Nanami waving 
her hand in front of his face.  "Earth to Makoto.  Come in, 
Makoto."

       Smiling nervously, he said, "Is it lunchtime 
already?"

       "We'd be in class if it wasn't.  Geez, you've been 
spaced out lately, Makoto," she said, sitting down and 
passing him a bento box.  "Ever since my brother 
vanished.  I think you're more worried about it than I am."

        "He's your brother.  I can't believe you don't care!"  
He opened the box; it was one of his favorites.  I'll never 
starve while Nanami is around, he thought.

        She dug into her own box, saying through her food, 
"He's an idiot.  They were about to impeach him as school 
president, anyway.  He probably fled to Switzerland with 
the school student budget."  Sitting back, she said, 
"Probably, we'll never see him again."

        The sky went black.  Utterly black.  The campus 
plunged into darkness, but then the night lighting kicked 
in.  Nanami grabbed Makoto, "You know about science!  
What's going on?"

        "I have NO clue."

        A huge image of Jinnai's head appeared over the 
city.  "I am General Jinnai of the all powerful Youma 
Army.  Puny mortals, especially Makoto Mizuhara, the 
puniest of all mortals, in one week, I will extinguish all 
life in this city unless the Tennis Warriors meet me at 
the Tokyo Airport for a Tennis Match to the Death.  Be 
there at 7 pm.  This has been a public service 
announcement."  The sky flickered back to normal, but 
everyone continued to stare upwards.

        "One week.  How big a gun can we build in one week?  
I'm gonna KILL my stupid brother."

         All Makoto could do was stare.

***********

        At Miki's school, she had been eating lunch with 
Setsuna and Meiko when it happened.   When it finished, 
they stared silently at each other, then Setsuna said, 
"Hey...that looked like Jinnai."

        Miki twitched.  "What?"

        "Yeah, I went to the same Junior High as him.  Very 
competitive, kinda looney.  He really hated some kid who 
was dating his sister,"  Setsuna shrugged.  "Must be a 
coin...wait, the guy he really disliked was named Makoto!"

       "He's gonna destroy Tokyo to get even with his 
sister's boyfriend?"  Meiko said.  "What a loon.  But why 
would he care about the Tennis Warriors?"

        "Maybe she's one of them,"  Setsuna speculated.  "His 
sister, I mean."

        "Why would he fight his sister to the death?"  Meiko 
asked.  "What do you think, Miki?"

        Miki, who had been lost in thought, started.  "What?"

        "You've been so distracted lately, Miki,"  Meiko said.  
"Is something wrong?"

       "All these weird monster attacks, giant heads in the 
city...it scares me, Meiko."  She was only half faking it.  
Miki was scared.  The sort of thing they'd stopped before 
was small potatoes compared to this.  Could Jinnai really 
destroy the city?  If he's that powerful, how can I stop 
him?  He always ran away before, but...  She shuddered.  I 
have to stop him.  To protect my family.  My friends.  Yuu.  

       "Did you see that?"  It was Yuu.  His usual coolness 
had cracked, and he actually sounded worried.  "Or was it 
my lunch?"  In the space of seconds, his usual 'don't care' 
attitude was back.  Miki wasn't sure if it had ever been 
gone.  "Miki's mom made it."

        "We all saw it," Meiko said, staring up at the now 
normal sky.  

        Setsuna said, "I hope the Tennis Warriors are ready 
for this match."
  
        "What I want to know is why this guy is challenging 
them to a tennis match at an AIRPORT,"  Yuu said, 
frowning.

        "Maybe his Japanese isn't very good,"  Meiko said.  "I 
once got confused in English class and got the words for 
'pencil' and 'cow' mixed up.  I was pretty embarrassed."
        
         "It's going to be pretty bad if they don't show up at 
the right place if that's the case, then,"  Yuu said.

         Miki shuddered more.  I didn't really need MORE 
worries, she thought.
         
*****************

       That night, the courts of Torio High School resounded 
with the sounds of balls rebounding back and forth.  
Tennis Warriors Moon, Mars, and Jupiter were hard at 
work practicing, although the balls of light, fire, and 
lightning that were soaring back and forth were a bit 
more dangerous than the usual tennis balls used there in 
daytime.

       Luna perched in the referee's chair.  "Good, but you 
can do better, Moon," she said as TW Moon lobbed a ball 
back over the net.  "Put more force into it."

       "I am!" she shouted.  "We've been practicing for 
hours!"

       "You go home,"  Mars said.  "I'll stay here a while 
longer with Ryoko-sensei."  Her voice had a tone of 
effortless superiority.

        Moon frowned.  "I can stay a while longer."

       "Are you sure?"  Jupiter said.  "There's no point in 
exhausting ourselves."  She was tired, but they had to be 
in super top form for this...death match.  Her fear was 
choked down for their benefit.  It was her job as their 
teacher to inspire them to do their best.  

        "I'll be fine," she said, slamming the ball across the 
net.  This time, Mars was unable to return it in time.  
Point to Moon.  

***********

        Miki woke up with her face in her breakfast cereal.  
"Bobbing for apples?"  Yuu asked.  He pointed to her plate.  
"They're over there."

        Rumi frowned.  "You've been really tired the last 
few days, Miki.  And coming in very late.  Do you really 
need to practice this much for your next match?"

        She tried to get the milk off her face with her 
napkin and had to give up and get a paper towel.  "It's 
really important."  She yawned.  "I'll be fine in a little 
while."

        Jin yawned.  "They've been working me hard too," he 
said.  "Drinking coffee like it is going out of style, and I 
still end up zonked."

        Chiyako nodded.  "I know the feeling.  I've been 
pretty drained the last few days."

        Luna listened quietly while lapping milk.  The Dark 
Kingdom is doing something, she thought.  Something 
subtle.  But how are they sapping so many people's 
energy.  Time to see if that lead I got on Artemis' 
whereabouts will pan out, she thought.  He may have 
found something useful.  Then again, flying pigs may 
attack Tokyo, too.

**********

       As Ryoko ate her lunch in the student lounge, Namura 
Shinichi, aka 'Na-chan' (but not to her), sat down by her.  
"You look tired, Ryoko."  He put down his bento box, then 
surreptitiously pulled a Big Mac and fries out of it.  
"Don't tell anyone I snuck off campus."

       She laughed.  "Your secret life as a hamburger fan is 
safe with me, Shinichi."  They ate in silence for a few 
seconds, then she yawned.  As she reached for her coffee, 
he stopped her.  

      "If you use that, you'll just crash again while you're 
with your students."  Her hand felt warm where he was 
touching it.  It wasn't the only part of her that felt warm.  
Her brain swam as she tried to focus enough to just once, 
tell him how she felt.  

       Then her brain suddenly snapped into focus.  She had 
rarely felt so awake and alive in her life, when she was 
just herself.  It was almost like it felt when she 
transformed into Tennis Warrior Jupiter.  I feel ready to 
run a thousand miles, she thought.  "Maybe you're right."  
With her free hand, she stole one of his fries.  "Thanks 
for the fry."

        "Hey!"  He laughed.  "I've got a puzzle for you."  

       "Do I get more fries if I'm right?"

       Laughing, he said, "Maybe.  You don't have to tell me 
the answer; it's just one of those things that helps one 
think about one's priorities.  Imagine if the world was 
going to be destroyed, and you could only save nine other 
people.  Four the same sex as you, five of the other sex, 
and those ten people would have to repopulate the Earth.  
Who would you choose?"  

       That is a hard one, she thought.  I know you'd be one 
of them.  "Eep."

       He nodded.  "Something I've been thinking about."

       "Ahh, so you've decided you've had enough and you're 
going to flood the world?"  She laughed.  "Should I call 
you Kami-sama now?"

       "Not yet."  That made her laugh even more.  

*********

        By the fourth night, Jupiter was starting to worry.  
They needed to practice, but Moon and Mars seemed to be 
more and more exhausted all the time.  "Go home," she 
said.  "We're not accomplishing anything here."

       "But...we have to be ready to fight Jinnai!"  Moon said, 
staggering to her feet from where she had been slumped 
over on the bench.

      "Go home and sleep."  It wasn't just them.  People all 
over Tokyo seemed to be tired all the time.  She seemed 
to be immune, and so were a few other people.  It wasn't 
that she was a Tennis Warrior; Moon and Mars were 
zonked as well.  "I'm going to call in sick tomorrow and 
finally go scout out Shinonome; We're going to need as 
many Tennis Warriors as we can get."

       They nodded and staggered off home.

*********

        Luna stared at the coffeepot and frowned; surely the 
Koishikawa/Matsuura coffeepot couldn't be a youma, but 
the Mercury computer was quite sure that it was the 
cause of everyone in the house except her being 
exhausted all the time.  She approached it warily, then 
pounced.  Best to take it out before it had time to assume 
its monster form.

       It fell off the counter and shattered, spilling cold 
coffee everywhere, including onto Luna.  Nothing 
particularly evil happened, unless you counted the smell.  
However...there was something about it.  She felt a little 
weaker.

        Not the coffeepot, she realized.  The coffee.  The 
Dark Kingdom must have tainted Tokyo's coffee supply.  
Fixing this one was gonna be difficult.  

      When she heard movement upstairs, she realized that 
wouldn't be the only hard thing to fix; the parentals were 
NOT going to be pleased that Miki's pet kitty had busted 
their coffeepot.  She had only one choice; she'd been 
saving it for a future wedding gift, but...desperate times 
require desperate measures.

       She leaped into the air, doing a triple roll, backflip 
and tail slash, the spell which opened up her subspace 
storage facility and extracted...the Moon Coffeepot.  With 
luck, no one would notice the difference.  Sure the old 
one was black, while this one was white with yellow 
crescent moons all over it and gaudy gems everywhere, 
but when a coffee fiend wants their morning coffee, they 
don't care WHAT the pot looks like as long as they get 
their burnt beans in water the way they like it.  

**********

       Meiko watched the army of student drones limp along 
into the school.  Why is everyone so tired all the time, 
she wondered.  Then she heard the sound of two pairs of 
feet running at high speed.  A dust cloud erupted around 
the oncoming bodies; one of which sped on past her, 
while the other simply jogged in place, slowly digging 
herself into a hole in the ground.  
"HiMeikoHowareyoutoday? Ifeelgreat!"  Miki exclaimed at 
about a thousand miles an hour.

        "I'm fine.  Did you have a little too much coffee this 
morning?"

       
"JustonecupandnowI'mreadytocircletheEarthinseconds."  
Miki paused for breath, several breaths, about fifty in 2 
seconds.  She ran round and round Meiko, circling her 
about every four seconds.  "Cmonandrunwithme!  Itsfun!"

        "Miki, have you noticed how everyone is so tired?  I 
think the monsters must have done something."  Meiko 
gave up trying to address Miki face to face; Meiko 
couldn't make her head rotate three hundred and sixty 
degrees.

       "Dontdrinkcoffee,itsucksyourenergy."

       "How did you get so hyper then?"  Meiko didn't think 
that was right; she had been drinking coffee herself.

       
"MagiccoffeepotohwaitIwasn'tsupposedtomentionthat!"

       Meiko laughed.  What an imagination you have, Miki.  

*********

       "Have I done well, my Queen?"  Jinnai asked.

       "Amazingly well.  We can carry out your plan AND you 
have greatly added to the supply of energy I am storing in 
order to release Queen Metallia."

        "And Youma Bonjovina, I assume."

        "Should I be mangling you now?"

        "Not until I fail.  And I swear, I will NEVER FAIL 
AGAIN!  I will kill the Tuxedo Warriors!  And then..."

         "Tennis Warriors."

         "And then I'll force Makoto to watch EVERY episode 
of Melrose Place!  And when his brains run out his ears, 
I'll lock him in a room with nothing but CERAMIC COWS 
FOR ETERNITY!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!"

          Time to increase his medication, Beryl thought.

          Just as she was about to signal for them to cut to 
the next scene, Youma Xerox ran in.  "I think I've found 
them!  I think I've found them!"

         "My other two generals?
       
          "Your other two generals!"  Youma Xerox paused for 
breath.  "Your other two generals!"

         "It's not Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon again, is 
it?"

        "I never repeat the same mistake twice."  Youma 
Xerox said.  "I never repeat the same mistake twice."

        "Bring them in."

         Two men came in, one tall and thin, the other 
shorter and fat with a thick black moustache.  Both wore 
faintly archaic clothing, including bowlers.  The fatter 
one turned to the thinner one and said, "Well, this is 
another fine mess you've gotten us into, Stan."

       "Well, at least they're both male this time,"  Beryl 
said, trying to look on the brighter side.

      Jinnai frowned.  "You don't need another general!  You 
have me!"

      "Exactly."

***********

       Makoto Mizuhara stared at the plans on the table.  I 
can't believe I'm doing this, he thought.  Nanami had been 
driving him hard ever since the giant head had appeared 
in the sky; she could be just as obsessive as her brother, 
although it was a lot rarer.  

       If any of these things actually work, it'll be a 
miracle, he thought.  We should leave this to the Tennis 
warriors.  But he couldn't.  Not when Jinnai had named 
him specifically.  What did I ever do to Jinnai?  Besides 
be friends with his sister.  

       He glanced over at Nanami, who was busy target 
shooting with a super-soaker.  Makoto thanked the Kamis 
that Japan had strong gun control laws, or she would 
have probably been toting an M-16.  "We ought to leave 
this to the police and the Tennis Warriors, you know."

        "We can't, and you know it.  This is family business.  
And they won't let me deal with him like he deserves."  
Her shooting was pretty good, although high accuracy 
with a water gun wasn't really possible.  All they had to 
do was hit him, anyway, if the stuff worked.  It was a 
sedative mixed with some chemicals which would cause 
the sedative to soak in through Jinnai's skin and into his 
bloodstream.  Makoto hoped it would work, but was afraid 
Jinnai's penchant for suits would slow it down too much; 
he rarely had much exposed flesh except for his crazed 
face.  "He's finally gone too far."

       "I dunno if skipping school for the entire week's a 
good idea, though."

        "We need the time to prepare, and I convinced my 
parents I'm broken up over my brother turning to crime 
and that I need some time off.  So they called the school."

        He nodded.  "Yeah, but my folks are gonna KILL me 
when they find out."

        "If we don't stop Jinnai, we'll all die anyway, and it 
won't matter."

        Compared to his parents when they got mad, dying 
horribly didn't look all that bad to Makoto.

**********

        Far away, Sailor Pluto stopped crying and began 
further following up a recurring plot thread.  She glared 
at Tennis Warrior Pluto.  "I can't let you get away with 
changing history like this!"

        Tennis Warrior Pluto laughed.  "Even if you were 
right, you couldn't beat me.  And you're not right.  And you 
know it."

        "Really?  Then what DID change this timeline?"

        Tennis Warrior Pluto thought for a moment.  
"Remember that Madonna-Pluto?"

         Pluto remembered FAR too well.  "Right.  I'll take 
her before the Council of Plutos!  I'll have her head!"  She 
vanished.

         She must be too tense to think to fall for that, 
Tennis Warrior Pluto thought.  But then, if she had been 
one of the smarter ones, that goddess would never have 
slipped this past her.  Not my problem now; she can't 
reenter this timeline without my permission.  Hmm.  
Time to go recruit Uranus and Neptune.  I just hope 
Neptune doesn't try to fondle me again.  She raised her 
Key-Staff and vanished.

**********

        Ryouko-sensei was frustrated.  She'd spent the 
entire day wandering around Shinonome, looking at 
hundreds of students and NONE of them was Tennis 
Warrior Mercury.  Where was she?  Enigmatic and 
confusing as the Mercury computer could be, it had been 
clear that TW Mercury went to this school.  Unless maybe 
she's sick, Ryouko thought, sighing.  I would pick the one 
day she misses, probably.  

        Finally, she gave up and went to talk to Fujisawa-
sensei as the students streamed off towards home.  She 
found him grading papers and drinking sake.  Toss.  "C."  
Toss, but not as far.  "B."  Toss.  This one only went two 
inches.  "A."  He looked up.  "Momoi-san!"

        "Fujisawa-san.  Good to see you."  She came over and 
sat down in one of the student desks.  "This has been a 
frustrating day."

        "Sake?"  He offered her a glass.

        She downed it with one gulp.  "Thanks."

        "Are you going to be teaching here now?"  Fujisawa 
asked.  "Or are you just honoring me with a visit?"

        I should have checked out the soccer team, Ryoko 
suddenly realized.  That was Mercury's specialty in the 
White Gold Millenium.  "Does Shinonome have a soccer 
team?"

        "Not right now.  The coach got fired for sleeping 
with one of his students, and the team collapsed.  It was 
a pretty good one, though.  How is your tennis team 
doing?"

        "We have a big tournament with Tomobiki coming up 
in a few days; it's going to be pretty tough."  She held out 
the glass.  "More, please."

         He filled her cup, which she only sipped this time.  
"Our tennis team couldn't play its way out of a box of 
tissue paper.  Our mountaineering team, led by me, is 
number one in Japan!"  He leaped onto his desk and posed 
triumphantly.  "You're welcome to join us if you ever have 
time on the weekend."

        She'd gone mountaineering with Fujisawa before; 
she lacked the level of insane dedication to do it a 
second time.  "I'll check my schedule."

        "Sake?"

         "Yes, please."  

         He poured her another glass.  "You know that giant 
head over the city the other day?"

        "Hmm?"  She paused in mid-swallow.

        "One of our more delinquent students.  He was 
Student Body President, but they've impeached him in 
absentia.  A real tragedy, although I always thought the 
boy would go bad one day."

        "I don't suppose that 'Makoto Mizuhara' goes here 
too?"

         Fujisawa nodded.  "He and Jinnai's sister Nanami 
are in one of my classes.  They've both been absent since 
then; I don't doubt the boy's hiding from Jinnai, and I 
think she's his girlfriend, so she's probably with him."

         This is worth investigating, she thought.  After I 
have one more glass of sake.

*********

       Meiko was about to give up and go home when Miki 
came running up.  "I'm sorry I'm late!  Luna managed to 
lock herself in the bathroom and I had to help try and get 
her out."

       Laughing, Meiko said, "Sometimes your cat seems so 
smart and sometimes..."

       Sitting down, Miki said, "I know."  She picked up a 
menu.  "Will you be coming to our tournament?"

       "Of course, Miki.  You've been preparing really hard 
for it."

       "Yep!"  She called the waitress over and ordered a 
burger and fries and a thick orange shake.  "Ryoko-sensei 
had to go do some stuff today, so we didn't have special 
practice tonight."

       "I think Setsuna's a little jealous that Ryoko-
sensei's been having special practice sessions with you.  
I've heard a few other people whispering too."

        Miki blushed.  I wish I could tell you the truth.  It's 
eating me up, not being able to tell my best friend.  "I 
just..."

        Ginta's voice interrupted her.  "Mind if we join you?"  
He was standing nearby with Arimi on his arm.  

        If Miki had been a 'toon, she would have had steam 
coming out of her ears.  I can't believe they're already 
doing that!  I mean, okay, it's just like holding hands, 
but...but...  She choked back her fuming as best she could.  
"Sure."  She scooted over.  "Here's some room for you, 
Ginta."

        Arimi fumed for a second herself when Ginta sat 
down, then she scooted in by Meiko and got a menu.  "We 
decided to take the chance to go on a _date_", she 
emphasized the last word especially, "since Ginta will be 
busy this weekend with his big game."

       "You'll come cheer me and Miki on, won't you, Arimi?" 
he asked, then turned to Miki.  "I'm really impressed by 
how hard you've been practicing."

        "I'm in the top of my form!"  Miki said, smiling.  "I 
hope you've been practicing for when we do doubles."

         "Is Yuu coming to the game?"  Arimi asked.

         "I think so,"  Miki said.  "And Meiko will be there 
too."

         "Good.  You'll have someone to head home with, 
since Ginta and I will be going on a date after the 
Tournament to celebrate his victories."  Arimi smiled at 
Miki, who twitched quietly.  "Perhaps you should ask Yuu 
if he wants to come along and make it a double date."

        Ginta gave Arimi an odd look, but she just kept 
smiling.

        "Maybe I will,"  Miki said stubbornly.

        "You could bring your boyfriend Miwa, if you want to 
come along, Meiko,"  Arimi said.

        "He is NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

**********

         Eventually, they were all full and ready to head for 
home.  As they walked down the street, however, they 
had an unexpected visitor.  She looked suspiciously like a 
huge coffee can with arms, legs, a head, and a big wide 
brimmed sombrero.  In other words, she would have made 
a good Dr. Who monster.  

       Miki's eyes widened, then she said, "Meiko, Ginta!  
RUN!  I'll...I'll hold it off!"

       Arimi nodded.  "Get out of here!  At least it won't get 
all of us!"

       Ginta shook his head.  "I'm the man here.  You three 
run!  I'll deal with it!"  He stepped forward, interposing 
himself between them and the huge coffee monster.

       "I won't leave you here to die,"  Meiko said, getting 
her mechanical pencil out of her pocket, despite her legs 
shaking with fear.  Maybe I can give it lead poisoning, she 
thought.  "You can't fight this thing any better than I can."

        Arimi and Miki each grabbed one of Ginta's 
shoulders, picked him up, and carried him back by Meiko.  
"Let us handle this,"  Miki said.

       "Yeah.  I wouldn't want my...boyfriend to die,"  Arimi 
said to Ginta, suddenly looking intensely serious.

       He stared at her.  Is she just trying to make Miki 
jealous or...does she really...no, that's not possible, he 
thought.  Although she is kinda cute, but...Miki is the one 
I...love.  And I have to protect her.  "I can't let you two 
sacrifice yourself for me!"  He charged the coffee 
monster.  "Run while you can!"

       "Ginta you idiot!"  Miki shouted, then looked over at 
Arimi.  Maybe we should transform, she thought.  Ginta 
and Meiko would keep our secret.

       "DEATH TO DECAF!"  The coffee monster shouted, 
swatting Ginta aside.  He flew across the street, across 
five tables in a street cafe, and through a plate glass 
window.  The monster then turned to Miki, Meiko, and 
Arimi.  "GIVE ME ALL YOUR ENERGY!"  

        Tacky black streamers of energy shot out at all 
three of them.  Miki fell to her knees, feeling all her 
strength draining out.  So did Arimi.  "It's so strong,"  
Miki muttered.  

        Arimi staggered to her feet, got three steps 
forward, then fell down.  "Wiped out...can't 
move...talking...in...slow...motion..."

        Miki couldn't even hear Meiko; she was sure Meiko 
must have passed out.

        Then there was a scream from the coffee youma, 
and the black streamers evaporated.  Meiko was 
screaming too, but not for any discernable reason; it was 
the coffee youma that now had a mechanical pencil stuck 
in its arm.  It recovered a few seconds later and 
innudated her in black streamers, but they just rolled off 
her body.  

         Miki charged forward, as did Arimi, but they still 
felt weak, and a fair number of turtles could have 
outraced them.  Thus, they were not fast enough to stop 
it from picking her up with one hand and saying, "I can't 
take your energy, but I can beat you to death!"

        Miki got ready to scream in horror, or maybe 
transform, but then everything went still.  A faint 
cascade of notes sounded, and a voice spoke from the top 
of a nearby telephone pole.  "Strangling young girls isn't 
very nice.  Although I can understand failing to 
appreciate having a pencil stuck in your arm.  I, Tennis 
Mask, will punish you!"  The speaker had short hair and 
was wearing an Astroboy mask.  He was carrying a 
backpack mounted tennis ball launcher, which he opened 
up on the unfortunate Youma with.  Driven back by the 
barrage, it dropped Meiko, who collapsed unconscious 
from fear.  

         "This just isn't my day.  First the girl resists my 
powers, then I get attacked by some whacko with a 
perching fixation!  I need a Latte and I need it fast.  I'll 
be BACK!"  the Youma shouted, then vanished, leaving only 
the distinctive smell of black coffee behind.  

        "Th...thank you!"  Miki said.

        "Just doing my bit.  I suggest you get your friends 
home; I'll deal with this thing if it comes back."

         "We can deal with it,"  Arimi said.

         "Not unless you're hiding high caliber weaponry on 
you,"  Tennis Mask said.  "And your friends need you more 
than you need revenge."

         Miki nodded.  "You get Ginta, I'll help Meiko."

         The rest of their night was more peaceful.

*********

Eye Catch:

       [We see Super Deformed Ginta, Super Deformed Miki, 
and Super Deformed Yuu doing a cancan line.  Ginta and 
Yuu are wearing skirts and look REALLY embarrassed.  
They go back and forth across the screen, faster and 
faster, round and round a pair of chairs, until finally the 
music stops and they all scramble for a chair.  Yuu and 
Ginta both grab one leaving Miki stranded.  They turn to 
each other, they yelp silently, knowing what the 
eyecatches in Marmalade Boy always insinuate.  Zoom out 
on Miki looking shocked.]

************

Commercial:

       [The camera zooms in on the skyline of Tokyo.  
Ceramic cows begin to rain down from the sky]

J. Random Salaryman:  Look!  A hail of ceramic cows!  
What do we do?

J. Random Prophet of Doom:  Elvis is angry because we let 
his daughter marry Michael Jackson!  Now he will destroy 
Japan!

[Cut briefly to Elvis, laughing maniacally above the 
clouds as he and Susanoo dump ceramic cows out of an 
endless cornucopia]

Elvis:  Pagan swine!  I will show you all who is the REAL 
king of Rock and Roll!

Susanoo:  o/~ I wanna rock and roll all night, and party 
every day! o/~

Elvis:  That's KISS!

Susanoo:  I don't kiss men.

[Cut back to the city.  The clouds rumble with thunder and 
lightning.]

Announcer:  Wrath of angry gods about to destroy your 
city?  Try page 654.

[We see J. Random Fool (a tall skinny man wearing a tie 
dyed shirt with multiple elbow and knee piercings 
connected by paper machie chains) paging hurriedly 
through a book]

J. Random Fool:  Ahh, here it is.  'In case of Angry Gods, 
get a large manila envelope.'  [runs into the post office 
and gets one]  'Put all your money in it, and mail it to 
this address.  Elrond Flubber.  My Fleet of Ships Off Shore 
So I Don't Get Arrested For Not Paying Taxes For Twenty 
Years, Earth, 00001.'  Sounds like a good idea to me.

Announcer:  Gullibility.  The new fragrance from Calvin 
Klein.  Get it before this commercial starts making sense 
to you.  

************

Eyecatch:

       [We see SD Meiko skating along with SD Miwa on one 
side of her and SD Na-chan on the other.  As they zoom 
along, we see Miki and Meiko's little robot tape recorder 
in the way.  Just as Miwa is about to trip on it, it 
suddenly reaches out, grabs Na-chan and hurls him into 
space, where we see him land on the space shuttle while 
it is working on the new space station.  Back on earth, 
Meiko stares at the robot while Miwa surrepetiously 
shows the audience a remote control and a home 
electronics guide.  Iris out.]

*********

         Ryoko woke up the next morning with a hangover, 
confused as to what had happened to her.  She'd gotten 
home, somehow.  I didn't have THAT much to drink, did I?  

         There was a message on the answering machine 
from Luna to call her, so she did.  After fifteen rings, 
Luna finally answered.  "I'm in the backyard where they 
won't hear me; don't call when everyone's still home."

        "Uhh...pain.  You called?"

        "I've found out why everyone is so exhausted.  The 
Dark Kingdom has cursed Tokyo's coffee using a coffee 
youma.  It attacked Miki and Arimi last night.  They might 
know your secret identities.  We have to uncurse all of 
Tokyo's coffee to stop them draining energy from 
everyone who drinks it."

        "But I haven't had any trouble with it."

        "Maybe they worded the curse badly.  Anyway, we'll 
meet at Tokyo Tower at five.  We'll need to get high up in 
the air to do an exorcism."

         "Okay.  I don't suppose there's an ancient White Gold 
Millenium Hangover cure you can recommend?"

        "We'd need Serenity's Ring for it.  Or Klatchian 
Coffee.  But Klatch doesn't exist in this century."

        "I'll see what a cold shower can do."

        It got her quite wet, for what that was worth.

**********

        "I've found them, your highness!"  Youma Xerox said.  
"I've found them, your highness!"

        Queen Beryl sighed.  "What is it this time?  David 
Spade and Chris Rock?"

        "This time, I did my research.  I found a large 
number of stories linking them romantically, so I'm quite 
certain I actually picked two lovers, this time."

         Queen Beryl frowned.  "And they're both male?"

        "Yes, my queen."

        "And from this universe?"

        "Yes, my queen."

        "And alive?"

        "Yes, my queen."

        "It's not David Bowie and Mick Jagger again?"

        "No my queen."

        "Or Edie Brackell and Steve Tylor?"

        "I told you they were both male this time; although 
those lips...I was sure they had to be Youma or 
something."
 
        "If one of them is Anne Heche in disguise again, I'm 
going to kill you."

         "Can I just go ahead and bring them in?"

         Beryl sighed.  "Let's get on with it."

         Youma Xerox ushered out the two men.  William 
Shatner looked around the dark gloomy room full of nasty 
pointy things, some of them even not organic, turned to 
Leonard Nimoy and said, "This.  Is.  Not.  A.  Star. Trek.  
Convention."

         "I suspect this may be someone's revenge for those 
comments you made on Saturday Night Live a few years 
ago, Bill.  Now you know why I've never had 'I am not 
Spock' reprinted."

         "Assessment of the situation, Leon?"

         "I must logically conclude we are screwed, 
Captain."

        Youma Xerox tensed, seeing Beryl was frowning.  
"Did I screw up again?  Did I screw up again?"

        "So, you're William Shatner?"

        "Yes.  I.  Am.  William.  Shatner," he said.  

        "Youma Xerox.  Send Mr. Shatner to the Ego Deflation 
Room.  I want to see if there's anything left of him after 
they finish.  And send Mr. Nimoy back to Earth.  Then go 
close a door on your head fifty times.  I'll have to see 
about finding my last two generals myself."

        Youma Xerox was happy to get off so lightly; he had 
been afraid she would assign him to sorting poisons by 
taste again.

**********

       Ryoko stared at her students with the feeling she 
had forgotten something.  A quick check revealed that she 
was dressed, so that wasn't the problem.  She had been 
looking for someone or something.  After wasting a few 
more seconds, she gave up worrying about it.  I'm sure I'll 
think of it later.

***********

       Miki walked home from Torio with Meiko and Yuu 
that afternoon.  "Are you sure you're okay, Meiko?"

       Her eyes were shining.  "I'm just fine, Miki.  Are you 
sure you're okay?"

       "I'm not the one who got hit,"  Miki said.  "You and 
Ginta got tossed around by her, trying to protect us when 
we should have been..."

       Yuu put a hand on Miki's shoulder.  "You should have 
all run.  You could have been hurt trying to protect her, 
Miki.  It's very noble of you, but you can't fight something 
like that any more than she could."

        Miki felt a faint thrill run through her, along with a 
bit of aggravation.  I can TOO protect her, she thought.  I 
just can't tell anyone.  But it's nice of you to worry about 
me, Yuu.  "If I'd had my tennis racket, I'd have shown that 
Youma a thing or too."

       Yuu laughed.  "You may be Ryoko-sensei's pet, but 
you're hardly one of the Tennis Warriors, Miki."

       "Maybe I should call myself Pencil Warrior Meiko,"  
Meiko said, laughing.  

       "Miki might make a good sidekick for the Tennis 
Warriors, though.  Every superhero needs some hapless 
person to rescue."

       "YUU!!!"  She chased him off down the street, soon 
vanishing from Meiko's sight.

        Meiko smiled, then began skipping down the street, 
feeling a little silly.  She knew a little secret they 
didn't, one that made her feel much safer.  I just have to 
find some way to let him know he needs a better disguise 
without letting him know I saw through it.  I'm sure he'll 
tell me when he's ready, but...She laughed.  What a 
ludicrous disguise.

        She was so busy laughing, she walked right into 
something.  Her face bounced off some guy's chest.  
"Akizuki-san, you need to look where you are going."

       "You shouldn't get in my way, Miwa-san!"  Stupid 
Class President, she thought, then sidestepped him.  "And 
DON'T follow me home!"

        He got in her way again.  Thunk.  "Meiko, I heard you 
got attacked last night."

        "It wasn't so tough after I stabbed it in the arm and 
...a masked Tennis Warrior chased it off with a tennis 
ball cannon.  It couldn't even hurt me with its powers."

        Satoshi frowned.  "Meiko, just because that one was 
weak doesn't mean the next one will be."  

        "I've got someone watching over me, and he isn't 
YOU," she said, then stepped around him.  "I've got 
homework.  Now get out of my way."

        "Akizuki-san."  His voice was serious now.  "This is 
the fourth time you've been attacked by one.  I think 
they're after you for some reason."  

        She faltered.  "Our entire school was attacked one 
of those times, you know."

        "Have you told your parents?"

        "My parents wouldn't care if a Youma chopped me up 
and served me to them for dinner."  Her voice was faint.  
"They both wish I'd never been born."

        The shock on his face made it clear that was NOT 
what he expected to hear.  "They...that's awful, Akizuki-
san."

        "It's none of your business, Miwa-san."  She turned 
away, but not fast enough for him to not see a tear 
running down from her left eye.  "Just leave me alone."

       As she strode away, he tried to understand why he 
liked her.  Some of it, he had to admit, was the challenge.  
He liked a good challenge.  And some of it was...He wanted 
to make her smile.  Most people couldn't see the pain she 
hid away, but he could.  There had to be some way to 
make it stop; he hadn't understood where it came from 
before.  His own family life often wasn't too great, but it 
hadn't been that bad, either.  

        And now...she was in danger.  He knew it with the 
same certainty that he knew his own name or where he 
kept his golf clubs or what color socks he was wearing.  
Not as much danger as last night.  Something had 
happened.  He was missing a half hour; somehow he had 
gotten from his house to halfway across town.  Just 
before it happened, he'd had the feeling that Meiko was in 
danger and then...it was all fuzzy.  He'd been trying to 
find her; he knew that much.  Running about like a 
madman.  He hadn't realized how much he cared until that 
point.  He hadn't found her; he was sure of that.    

         He sighed and put Meiko out of his mind for the 
moment.  His cousin, Sakuma Suzu, had been caught 
sneaking out of her house in the middle of the night by 
her parents again.  The tenth time in a month.  She 
wouldn't tell them why, and she wouldn't stop.  They'd 
asked him to come by and try to find out what she was up 
to; he was sure it was probably a stupid crush, like the 
one she had had on the Hayama boy for a while.  At least 
she wouldn't keep walking into me, he thought. 

***********

       Youma Coffee Can tried to stop them from exorcising 
all of Tokyo's coffee.  By the time it was done, they 
discovered that you could make some good cappuchino 
with what was left of her after she disintegrated, 
shouting, "JUAN VALDEZ!"  The Tennis Warriors were 
hyper for the rest of the day.  

***********

        The entire Torio High School Tennis Team was tense 
for two reasons.  First of all, they were about to have a 
big tournament against Tomobiki High School, and 
Tomobiki's students had a reputation for...levelling 
everything in sight.  Every day.  Secondly, a giant head 
had appeared over the city a week earlier and tonight 
was the night that it would destroy the city if the Tennis 
Warriors didn't show up.  This had everyone just a little 
tense, although the government was saying it had just 
been a publicity stunt for the Softball Warrior V TV 
show.  Why they were closing Tokyo International Airport 
for a publicity stunt...

        Twenty minutes after the starting time, the 
Tomobiki team hadn't shown up.  Just as the referees 
were about to declare a forfeit, a motorcycle roared 
across the campus to the tennis courts, ridden by a 
beautiful woman with long legs and longer black hair.  
She leaped off the motorcycle and said, "I'm afraid we're 
going to have to reschedule; the team had a brawl in the 
school bus and now we're trying to keep it from turning 
into an intergalactic incident."

         Ryoko and Namura were not the sort of people who 
boggle easily, but... "An INTERGALACTIC incident?"  
Namura-sensei asked.

        "I told them participating in an interplanetary 
exchange program was a bad idea."

        "Interplanetary..."  Ryoko shook her head.  I don't 
want to know.  "Two weeks from now is open."

        "Sounds good to me."

***********

      The good thing about the tournament being cancelled 
is that Yuu, Miki, Arimi and Ginta had more time for their 
"double date".  The bad thing was that this was the same 
that Tokyo was threatened with destruction by General 
Jinnai.   The REALLY bad thing was that somehow, 
Rokutanda had found out about it.  In practical terms, he 
was an annoyance now, and guaranteed to mean trouble; 
the death of everyone in the city was only a possibility.

       It started as they got in line at the movie theatre 
behind some loudmouthed huge dark guy with an ugly hat 
covered with buttons.  He was bellowing something about 
some auto club to a blonde guy with spikey hair standing 
by him.  They tried to talk over him, but this was like 
trying to talk over a Motorhead concert.  While sitting 
next to the speakers.  

         Miki could see Yuu's lips move, but all she could 
hear was, "So then I put a V-2 rocket in that motorcycle 
and BOY did she move like a [censored].  You shoulda seen 
Aoshima's face when..."  Even when she stood by him and 
tried to put her ear next to his mouth, it was still almost 
impossible to hear him.  Yuu finally gave up and pointed.  
She looked and saw Rokutanda, chartreuse hair and all, 
dressed in a trenchcoat, sunglasses, and Boris Badenov 
hat, half hidden behind a lightpole.

         She nudged Arimi and Ginta, and Arimi stormed 
over to him, and began to chew him out.  Well, she tried.  
Her fingers waggled and her body language said, 'die', but 
all he could hear was the all-conquering monologue, 
which had now moved on to the glories of some kind of 
car engine that ran on spam.  

        Finally, she just pulled down his hat over his eyes 
and stormed back, then delivered a long monologue on the 
evils of Rokutanda that no one could hear.  THAT was too 
much for her.  She tapped the big guy on the shoulder.  He 
didn't notice, so she punched his shoulder.  He didn't 
notice.  She did sign language at Ginta for three minutes, 
and he got the idea.  Just as he rared back to punch the 
guy's shoulder, the guy bought a ticket and went inside.  
The punch nearly shattered the glass, sending the ticket 
seller diving for cover.  This was an omen.

***********

        They changed their chosen movie, just to avoid 
'Motormouth' as they had dubbed him.  But he kept 
changing movies too, and after the fifth move, they gave 
up and watched 'Paul Bunyan's Revenge', which appeared 
to be some sort of horror movie in which Paul Bunyan and 
his Big Blue Ox stalked and killed environmentalists for 
refusing to cut down the forest.  On the one to ten scale 
of date movies where one is perfect and ten is less fun 
than being tortured by the Viet Cong, it was about a 
thirty.  Arimi fell asleep after the first five minutes.  
Ginta was asleep too, and they were both slumped over on 
each other.  Miki sat there and twitched, trying to not go 
berserk and storm out or shake them awake and yell at 
them.  If he's her boyfriend, then that's that, she thought.  
At least she can't...I mean...He's not... Fume.  Fume.  Fume.  
Yuu sat there and laughed through the whole thing, 
especially after the Greenpeace Hit Squad showed up and 
started trying to stalk Paul Bunyan.  Motormouth kept 
talking about the time he took a chainsaw apart and 
rebuilt it to be a motor for his bicycle.  And Rokutanda 
was eating his hat, bit by bit.

      About three fourths of the way through the movie, 
Rokutanda finally stood up.  "GINTA!!!!"  His voice actually 
rose over Motormouth's monologue.  The man turned and 
stared at Rokutanda in shock; perhaps this had never 
happened before.  "HOW DARE YOU GO TO THE MOVIES AND 
SLEEP WITH ARIMI!"  Several people gasped.  Miki 
recognized three of them.  The rumor mill was about to 
be set in motion.

      Ginta and Arimi slept through this.  Yuu turned lazily 
and said, "Who she sleeps with is her business.  Can't you 
wait until the movie is over?"

       "THIS MOVIE IS A TRAVESTY!"  Rokutanda ran down 
the aisle.  "GINTA!  I CHALLENGE YOU!"

       Ginta began to snore.

       Rokutanda began to weep from passion, clenching his 
fists and raving about how Ginta always taunted and 
humiliated him, how Ginta was trying to steal the woman 
he loved, how Tokyo's imminent destruction was all 
Ginta's fault.

          By the time he was done, Yuu and Miki were snoring 
too.  Been there, done that.

***********

         The high moment of fine dining later was having 
Rokutanda thrown out.  The low moment was stepping out 
of the diner and having Rokutanda still there.  Ginta had 
finally had enough.  "Tomorrow, I'll duel you in a match, 
okay?  I'm BUSY right now."

        "Right!  The loser shaves his head!"

        "Looking for an excuse to get a haircut?"  Arimi 
asked, laughing.  

        "Ginta!  I will CRUSH YOU!"  Rokutanda began to 
laugh, turned, ran off, and slammed into a lamppost.  It 
actually bent.

***********

       Buildings blurred past them as the Tennis Warriors 
rode to the airport.  The train was empty; the city 
seemed empty.  While some went about their business, 
many people were in hiding, afraid for what would happen 
next.  The Tennis Warriors had transformed as soon as 
they saw the train was empty.  Moon petted Luna 
nervously.  "He isn't really strong enough to destroy the 
city, is he?"

       "Not by himself, but I'm sure he brought friends,"  
Luna said.  "This is likely a trap."

       "Of course it is,"  Mars said.  "That's why we're going 
to sneak in over the back fence."  She stared out the 
window.  "I hope Yuu is okay."  Hurriedly, she added, "And 
Ginta."

        "Meiko...she'll be safe, won't she?"  Moon asked 
nervously.  "I asked Satoshi to keep an eye on her house 
and make sure nothing happened, but I mean...it's not like 
he can do anything if it does happen but I had to do 
something and..."

         "Shinichi called me,"  Jupiter said faintly.  "And 
told me he was worried about me; that he had a 
premonition about me being in danger today.  I had to lie 
to him and swear I wouldn't go near the airport,"  she 
said, staring at the floor.  "He was really worried."

        "Ginta wanted to come and stay with me tonight 
until it was all over,"  Mars said, continuing to stare out 
the window.  "I had to make up an excuse about illness in 
my house."

        "Yuu went to a 'Destruction of Tokyo' party.  A bunch 
of crazy people are going to watch the news and make 
bets on when the city will be destroyed,"  Moon said, her 
voice pained.  "He didn't even ask where I was going.  He 
left just before I did."

         Mars started.  "Doesn't sound like his kind of party."

         "I hope he's going to be okay.  It's not near the 
airport."

         "I'm sure Yuu will be just fine,"  Jupiter said.  
"They'll all be fine, the people we care about.  We're going 
to fight and we're going to win."

        Moon began to perk back up.  "Yeah!  Jinnai's always 
run away from us before.  He can't be that tough."

***********

         Jinnai leaned against a DC-10 and yawned.  The 
Tennis Warriors were late.  If they took much longer, he 
was going to have to destroy the entire city just to 
relieve his boredom.  All his youma were in place, and the 
entire airport staff had been drained of energy to prepare 
the way for a KISS reunion tour or whatever Beryl did 
with all that energy.  The army too; they'd tried sending 
in troops, but Jinnai had easily slurped down all their 
energy.  He felt strong enough to crush Makoto just by 
breathing on him.  Energy crackled through him, so he 
blew up a plane, just because he could, then laughed 
maniacally, just because he could, then did the Mazurka 
in front of it, just because he could, but not very well.

        Then the DC-9 stuffed full of Youma he had put to 
one side exploded due to the fact that Jinnai had just 
sent flaming plane fragments everywhere.  Several more 
of the parked planes went up in flames.  Screaming 
youma began running everywhere, howling loudly.  

        "You idiots!  You're screwing up my plans!"  Jinnai 
ranted at them.  "How DARE you catch fire!"

        "Vandalizing Tokyo International Airport isn't very 
nice!"  A voice shouted from far down the runway.  
"People need planes and now they'll miss their 
connections and lose the frequent flyer miles they could 
have been urning!  I will never forgive you!"  Tennis 
Warrior Moon began showing off the moves she had been 
practicing, tossing in a little of the Charleston for good 
measure.  "I am the Lovely Tennis Warrior Moon, and I 
will punish you in the name of the Moon!"  Mars stood by 
her, doing her own routine, which was somewhat more 
polished and impressive, but just as pointless.

        "Hey!  You were supposed to come in the front way 
so I could just push a button on this remote control and 
make the entire building explode with you in it!"  He 
waved his remote control around.  "Or at least watch you 
transform so I could see you naked."

       "HENTAI!"  Mars shouted.  "We're ready for the Match!"

       "There's not going to be a match!"  He shouted.  "This 
is a...DEATHTRAP!  Youmas!  Start the engines and run 
them down!"

       Half the planes were on fire.  Most of the rest had 
Youma in them who knew nothing about planes.  Several 
'Fasten Seatbelt' signs did go on.  A single plane trundled 
to life, turned drunkenly, and began to head right towards 
Jinnai, picking up speed.  "The Tennis Warriors!  THEM!"  It 
turned and began to lumber towards Mars and Moon.  

        "MOON SLAM!"  It only took one energy tennis ball to 
smash the front wheels of the plane to flinders.  A 
flaming ball from Mars took out one of the rear tires and 
a second ball from Moon took out the last set of landing 
gear.  The plane flopped onto the tarmac, then quietly 
exploded, nearly crushing Jinnai with flaming chunks of 
metal and plastic.  

       "Youma, attack them hand to hand!"

       Youma began to swarm out of the planes, although 
about a third of them saw all the flaming wreckage and 
ran back into the planes.  Another third messed up their 
jump out of the planes and splatted into the tarmac, 
passing out.  This still left a good twenty or so youma, 
loosely ringing the two senshi.

        Jinnai began to cackle.  "I have you now!  I see 
Jupiter was such a coward she didn't even come!"

        A few seconds later, he became the first human in 
millenia to be held hostage by having an energy tennis 
ball held to his head.  Jupiter said, "Sneaking up behind 
you, that's where I am.  Tell your youma to back off."

         "You can't take me hostage!  I'm the mastermind 
here!"

         She whacked him in the head with her racket.  "Do 
it or get zapped."

         "Hey, it's a hangglider!"  Jinnai said, pointing.

         "I'm not stupid, you know," she said.  "Tell your 
minions to back off."  They were getting close enough to 
Moon and Mars to fight, but they were all looking up at 
the sky.  She was sure it was a trick.

         "Look out!"  a male voice shouted.

         "Let me steer if you don't know how!"  a female 
voice shouted.  Jupiter didn't recognize either voice.  She 
turned and looked about five seconds before Jinnai took 
the impact for both of them when the hangglider carrying 
two black clad teenagers crashed into them.

        She went tumbling and Jinnai was flung out of her 
grasp.  The hangglider was reduced to a mangled mess.  
The boy staggered out of the wreckage.  "I told you this 
was a stupid idea!"

        "Hey, we surprised him, right?"  She looked around, 
holding a long sprayer rod connected to a hose connected 
to a tank on her back.  The boy held a taser and an egg 
carton.  "There he is!  Big Brother, we've come to KICK 
YOUR BUTT!"

        Jinnai staggered to his feet.  "I had Jupiter on the 
ropes when you decided to INTERFERE!  I would be ruling 
the world if not for you meddling kids and your little 
dog!"

        "I am NOT a dog!"  Luna shouted from her hiding 
place under a luggage carrier.  "I'm a cat!"

        "I was going to leave you out of this, Nanami, 
because we're family, but now...you DIE!"  He rushed 
Nanami, who hosed him down with the liquid, splashing 
his entire body.

         He staggered, starting to look groggy.  "What.  Have.  
You.  Done.  To.  Me?"  Then Makoto tasered him.  After 
bouncing a while, he said, "Hmm.  That perked me back 
up."

        Makoto's jaw dropped.  Nanami said, "Use the egg 
grenades!"  Makoto nodded and unloaded three eggshells 
worth of pepper in Jinnai's face.  Jinnai collapsed 
sneezing.  He might have lost the fight, if ten youma 
hadn't peeled off and charged at Nanami and Makoto, who 
both took off screaming.  

         An all out brawl was soon in progress, with Makoto 
and Nanami up on top of a luggage cart trying to hold off 
their attackers while Jupiter tried to save them, Jinnai 
ranted, and Moon and Mars ran around screaming as ten 
youma chased them.

        Luna hopped up onto the luggage cart.  She knew this 
girl.  And even if she hadn't the sign shining from her 
brow would have given her away.  "Nanami!"

        Nanami paused in hosing down Youma with happy 
knockout drugs and said, "You...talk?"

        Luna tossed her a transformation pen, saying, "Take 
this and shout, "Damn the Torpedoes!"

        Nanami stared at it.  "What?"

        "Damn the Torpedoes!"

        "Uh...right."  This is the weirdest day of my life, she thought, 
as she 
kicked down a youma trying to climb up onto the cart.  "DAMN THE 
TORPEDOES!  FULL SPEED AHEAD!"  

         All the air in the airport rushed in on her, forming itself into 
a 
whirlwind and lifting her into the air.  Her clothing ripped apart, 
giving 
nosebleeds to several observing youma.  It became dust, and dust became 
ribbons, and ribbons merged into a light blue tennis uniform much like 
those worn by the other warriors, except that hers had small wings on the 

side of the visor.  Speed.  She felt like she could run the five minute 
mile in 
one minute.  Like she could do the Kesel run in five parsecs.  Like the 
only 
adequate measurement for her speed was furlongs per second.  

        Tennis Warrior Mercury hefted Makoto over one shoulder and 
streaked off, carrying him to safety in a nearby hanger, then charged 
full 
tilt into a youma, bodyblocking him into oblivion.   Jinnai was next; she 

sent him flying into the air, and he landed right in front of Tennis 
Warrior 
Moon, who grabbed him by his tie.

        "We've had enough of you!  Give up now!"

         "I never give up!  Not until I finally BEAT Makoto!  It is time 
to 
unleash my ultimate weapon!"  He pointed the remote control and one of 
the hangers burst open.  A huge humanoid figure which looked like it had 

been created by welding multiple airplanes together to get something like 

Voltron, but even more ludicrous (which you probably thought wasn't 
possible).  "War Rocket Ajax!  Bring me the head of Makoto Mizuhara!"

*********

       Meiko frowned.  She was supposed to go over to Namura-sensei's 
house so they could die together if things really went badly, but she 
couldn't get out of her house.  Not because of her parents; her father 
was in 
Osaka and her mother was in the middle of a tryst with her lover at this 

very moment.  The problem was that Satoshi was watching her house.  She 
knew why; the man was a love crazed loon who couldn't get the point.  And 

he probably thinks I'm in danger.  

        The whole city is in as much danger as I am personally, she 
thought.  
And what would he do if I WAS in danger?  He can't fight monsters.  Not 
and win.  She stared out the window, trying to make Satoshi pass out by 
force of will.  It didn't work; he was still there, big as life and twice 
as 
infuriating.  Maybe I should call Na-chan, she thought.  Yes, that's a 
good 
idea.

         She turned around and a giant can of anthropomorphized lemonade 

mix was standing there.  "You hurt my sister and then she got killed 
fighting the Tennis Warriors!  Now I'm going to GET EVEN WITH 
YOU!"

         "How...how did you find me?"  She backed up towards the window.  


          "You are marked, child.  Marked.  My sister told me that much 
before she died.  Now you will die!"  Her arms extended like tentacles in 

animation everywhere, seizing Meiko's arms with an iron grip.  "Now I'll 

suck out your life force!"  Nothing happened.  Lemonade Mix 
sweatdropped.

         Meiko heard running feet below and realized Satoshi could 
probably 
see them through the window.  "You know, a lemonade mix monster just 
isn't very scary."

        "I'm trying as hard as I can!"  The monster looked around.  "I 
don't 
know what stopped my power, but I can hurl you to your death!"  She 
tossed Meiko out the window.

         Meiko screamed, flailing futiley.  It lasted about two seconds 
but 
seemed like eternity.  And then two strong arms caught her with an 'oof'.  

For a moment, she hoped it was Na-chan, but it was Satoshi.  "Miwa-kun."

         He grinned.  "You're welcome," then stared up at the monster. 
"What 
IS that?"

        "A lemonade mix monster.  I stabbed its sister in the arm with a 

mechanical pencil and it wants to get even."

         Satoshi simply started running.  "Whatever.  Let's get OUT of 
here."

***********

         The Tennis Warriors watched in awe as the giant robot stomped 
towards them, crushing a 747 which it stepped on.  They quickly 
assembled to discuss a plan.  "I say we trick it into stepping on my 
brother,"  Mercury said.

        "I say we climb up it and attack it from the inside,"  Jupiter 
said.

       "I say we set it on fire,"  Mars said.

        They all turned and looked at Moon, who stared back, not sure 
what 
to do.  "I...I'm not sure what to do.  I mean...it's just so big."

        Jinnai laughed.  "I know what you should do!  You should DIE!"

        Moon gulped.  "Jupiter's plan sounds good.  Let's do it."

        Soon, they were scaling the great 'bot, which kept trying to 
scrape 
them off, but mainly succeeded in slapping itself around.  Jupiter lead 
the 
way, being the strongest and having had some practice doing mountain-
climbing.  Practice obtained against her will, but practice none the 
less.  
"Too bad Fujisawa-sensei isn't here.  He'd love this."

        Mercury laughed.  "You know him?  Yeah, he would."

        "And he'd smoke while he did it,"  Jupiter said, looking down as 
she 
talked.  "And then...aaaa!"  A youma leaned out of the mouthof the 'bot 
and blasted her.  She went flying off the 'bot and landed on Luna in the 

luggage cart, knocking both of them out.

         "JUPITER!"  Moon shouted in horror.

         "Keep climbing!"  Mars said.  "Screaming won't do any good."  
She 
shuddered.  I hope she's okay.

          Now, however, they were pinned down by youma blasts, unable to 

climb any higher without exposing themselves to getting blown off.  Moon 

looked around.  "Mercury, make a diversion, then Mars and I will try and 

climb up while they're busy."

         "A diversion?  Like what?"

         "I don't know.  Use your attack."

        "This isn't a very good place for a body block."

         Moon bigsweated.

************

        Far across the city, Miwa was running like a maniac.  "Put me 
down!"  
Meiko shouted.  "I have feet, you know!"

        "I'm the crosscountry runner here, not you."  Although you didn't 

normally CARRY someone when running crosscountry.  "I can handle it."  
Luckily, like everyone in the MB universe, Meiko was drawn skinny and 
thus didn't weight much.  

        And like everyone in that universe, Miwa had long legs, which 
helped 
him keep ahead of Youma Dark Lemonade Mix.  Not far enough ahead, 
though.  He had to keep dodging efforts to drain his energy.  They ran 
past two cops, but the cops will still filling out the forms to allow 
them to 
fire their guns when Youma Dark Lemonade Mix drained their energy and 
thus reassured herself she hadn't completely lost her touch.

        This also sped her up, and Miwa knew he couldn't run forever.  He 

had only one choice; typical suicidal male behavior.  He put Meiko down.  

"Run!  I'll hold it off!"

        "But I can't just leave you to die!"

        "So you do love me!"  He said, grinning, having never learned 
when to 
not press certain points.  

        "Miwa no BAKA!" she shouted.  

        Youma Dark Lemonade Mix reached them.  "Now I will..."

        Meiko spun on one heel.  "You'll shut up until we settle this!"

        Under the force of the verbal assault, Youma Dark Lemonade Mix 
wilted and began rocking back and forth on her heels while she waited for 

them to finish arguing.  She had not yet realized this was rather like 
waiting 
for Niagra Falls to hit bottom.

*********

         Jinnai laughed maniacally.  This being his default state, no one 
was 
surprised.   The Tennis Warriors ignored him and tried to come up with a 

clever plan before they fell off the wobbling robot.  Moon had a sudden 
insight.  "Mercury, use your computer to find this thing's weak point!"

         "I have a computer?"  Mercury said.

         "I think Jupiter left it at home so it wouldn't get broken and 
run the 
batteries down,"  Mars said.  "I have a plan."

        "What?"

         "I'll climb around and do the diversion while you two launch the 

main attack."  She took a deep breath.  "If I die horribly..."

         "You won't die,"  Moon said.  "I think we're gonna win!  And 
thanks 
for volunteering."

        "You're welcome,"  Mars said quietly.  She then scrambled around 
and 
opened fire with a barrage of flaming tennis balls.  Two youma toppled, 
but the rest blasted her, and she lost her grip, plummeting like a rock.  
The 
ground closed in, faster and faster and...someone caught her.  The Masked 

Golfer had arrived.

       He was handsome behind his mask, and Mars felt herself melt.  He's 
so 
dreamy, she thought, even more so than Yuu.  She hadn't thought that 
possible.  And strong to hold her so easily.  "Are you okay?"  he asked.

       "I'm fine now," she said, just before he dropped her and turned to 
the 
robot.  

       "Pick on someone your own size!"  he shouted at the robot.

       "You're hardly our size,"  one of the youma pilots shouted down.

       "Exactly!  Go fight Giant Robo or Mazinger Z or something!"  

        The robot got ready to squish him, but meanwhile, Mercury and 
Moon scrambled up the front and leaped into the cockpit.  A few balls and 

body blocks later, the youma were all shouting "Potato!" and 
disintegrating.  Moon was NOT pleased to have been mistaken for a 
potato.  

         Mercury looked around, then pushed the 'Go out of control and 
attack your maker, then disintegrate' button which had been installed in 
the 
robot since Jinnai had neglected to properly read the 'Guide to Evil 
Warlords'.  Grabbing Moon, she leaped out of the robot as it began to 
chase Jinnai everywhere, tearing up more of the airport.  Along with Mars 

and the Masked Golfer, they tried to stay out of its way.

        Jupiter began to stir, just as the robot was about to squash 
Jinnai flat.  
At the last moment, Mercury sighed and sprinted out, saving Jinnai from 
being crushed.  "Damn you, Jinnai!  You were supposed to die horribly!   

Not look pathetic so I felt sorry for you!"

       "I'll get you for this!  I'll get everyone!  I'll..."

       Beryl's face appeared in the sky.  "You're going to get the 
reverse of a 
golden parachute.  You've failed for the last time, Jinnai.  I'm 
sentencing 
you to the most horrible fate I can think of!"

       Jinnai paled.  "Eternal Sleep?"

       "I'm going to turn you into a woman and engage you to Ataru 
Moroboshi."

       Everyone paled now, although they didn't really know why, except 
for 
Mercury.  "That's too evil even for my brother!  How about if you just 
lock 
him in a room with Youma Barney for eternity?"

       "Perfect."

        Their last sight of Jinnai was of him screaming, "No!  I already 
love 
me!  I ALREADY LOVE ME!!!!"

        Beryl turned to them.  "I'll destroy you meddling kids and your 
dog..."

       "CAT!"  Luna shouted.

       "...Artemis..."

       "LUNA!"  Luna shouted.

        "Later."  She paused, but Luna didn't shout.  "Once I 
finish my audition for generals."  She sighed.  "You 
wouldn't have any gay evil men handy?"

       "I'm afraid my latest shipment hasn't come in,"  the 
Masked Golfer said sarcastically.

        "I may have to break down and use lesbians."  Beryl 
shook her head.  "What's the world coming to.  Ahh!  I 
could use lesbians and dress them in drag!  Perfect!"

        "..."

        "Now, who to use..."  The giant Beryl head vanished.

*********

        Finally, Youma Dark Lemonade Mix got fed up and 
simply drained all of Miwa's energy.  This took a long 
time, during which Meiko pounded on Dark Lemonade, but 
Meiko had forgotten to bring a pencil.  "You big bully!  I'm 
the one you want!  Leave him ALONE!"

        Dark Lemonade Mix turned, laughing evily.  "As if you 
could give orders to me!"

        "That's my job!" a voice shouted from a nearby 
rooftop.  "LEAVE HER ALONE!"  The tennis ball cannon 
opened fire, knocking Dark Lemonade Mix down.  She lost 
her lid and powdered evil pre-sweetened lemonade flew 
everywhere.  Everything it touched became...covered in a 
fine powder and would be nasty sticky if it rained soon.  

        Dark Lemonade Mix got mad.  "Now, I'm mad!" she 
announced unnecessarily, since the readers already knew.  
"DARK LEMONADE STORM!"  A howling windstorm of fine 
particles erupted over the entire area.  The winds blew 
Tennis Mask off the roof and into an ice cream shop, 
where he soon became a REAL mess.  

        Meiko staggered, covering her eyes.  The sweet but 
evil powder was slowly flaying her skin, leaving a 
thousand tiny cuts.  It hurt all over.  I'm doomed she 
thought.

        "What a waste of good lemonade!"  a whiny, yet 
heroic (sort of) voice cried out.  Whoever it was, she was 
young and female.  "I'm really glad I won't have to clean 
this up, just clean your clock!  I am the Lovely Softball 
Warrior V, and I'm going to strike you out!  FASTBALL 
SPECIAL!"  As a band played 'The Way' in the background, 
she unleashed a barrage of lightning quick pitches with 
exploding baseballs.  Youma Dark Lemonade Mix fell down 
again, and the storm began to dissipate.  

        Meiko could see Softball Warrior V now; she looked 
pretty young, maybe around twelve or thirteen, but was 
quite cute in a little kid kind of way.  Her hair was long 
and blonde with a Tokyo Giants baseball cap on her head, 
and a yellow 'Lone Ranger' mask on her face.  She wore a 
baseball uniform, complete with striped pants.  In fact, 
she looked rather like a Little Leaguer, except for the 
gems on the baseball cap, the fact that her bat was 
glowing, and that she was pulling baseballs out of thin 
air.  And she was wearing high heels for no discernable 
reason.  Insanity perhaps.

       Softball Warrior V spotted Miwa.  "Miwa-kun, you 
IDIOT!  And you tell ME to...baka!  I should punish YOU in 
the name of the planet Venus!"

        Dark Lemonade Mix decided to cut its losses and 
sneak off as Venus berated Miwa.  However, Meiko wasn't 
so kind.  "It's getting away!"

       "V HOME RUN!"  She leaped high into the air and came 
down, swinging her bat.  It was more like the 'V Pile 
Driver', really.  

        Soon, there was a huge lemonade mix can impaled 
into the ground.  It screamed, "BRAT!" and disintegrated.

        "I am not a brat!"

        A white cat with a crescent moon on its forehead 
snuck out from a fish shop.  "As long as you keep me in 
fish, you're not a brat," he said, lazily, slinking over to 
her.  "Good job, V."
       
        "You're not an evil lizardwoman come to steal the 
Earth's water, are you?"  Meiko asked, having watched too 
much eighties TV.

        It took a lot of effort by Artemis to keep V from 
punishing Meiko in the name of herself.

**********

         "Now we have enough Tennis Warriors for a doubles 
match against ourselves!"  Moon said.

         Jupiter laughed.  "True.  And we...hey, where did he 
go?"  The Masked Golfer was gone.  

         Makoto came staggering out of the main terminal.  
"Is it over?  Can I go home and get grounded until time 
passes away and the Earth cools to a cinder now?"

        "First we have a party.  THEN we get grounded,"  
Mercury said.  She struck a pose.  "How do I look, 
Makoto?"

       "Like a tennis player,"  Makoto said.  

        She frowned.  Not much for getting hints, she 
thought.  

***********

        Meiko finally got Miwa home with the help of his 
cousin, Sakuma Suzu, who conveniently showed up mere 
seconds after Tennis Warrior V left.  If she hadn't 
brought her cat with her, Meiko might have been stupid 
enough to fall for it, anyway, but there just aren't too 
many white cats with a crescent moon on their 
foreheads.  

        Miwa was starting to recover.  "I feel fine."  He 
staggered two steps, then fell on Suzu.  "Really."

        Suzu sighed.  "I'll get him in.  Thanks for your help, 
Akizuki-san!  My cousin's lucky to have such a nice 
girlfriend!"

        Only the fact that the girl had just saved Meiko's 
life stopped Meiko from trying to stuff Miwa down Suzu's 
throat.

***********

        Miki snuck in the back door; the victory party had 
dragged on and it was late.  Way late past her curfew by 
hours.  No one was waiting up, though.  Slowly, she 
slipped up the stairs and into her bedroom.  There was a 
note on her bed.  

        'I told the parentals that you had called and said you 
would be staying overnight at Meiko's.  I hope you had fun 
tonight; I certainly did.  You might consider climbing out 
the window and coming in the front door in the morning.  
Goodnight, Miki.'  It was sighed, 'Yuu'.  

        Thanks, Yuu, she thought.  

        Luna read the note.  "You should call Meiko and see 
how she is."

        "At two am?  Not a good idea."

        "In the morning, then."

         Miki nodded.  "I'm sure she was fine."

*********

        "You'd best go home now,"  Namura-sensei said, as 
they stood together on the balcony.

         "I...I don't want to walk alone," she said.

         "I'll walk you home," he said.  "I'm sorry I wasn't 
there to protect you."  He sounded guilty.

        You need a better disguise, she thought.  "Well, 
Tennis Mask did a pretty good job.  Maybe I should be 
dating him."

        He did a little jump, and she smiled.  "Although I 
think he has a crush on Softball Warrior V."

        Tensely, he said, "I don't think his taste is that bad."

        Teasingly, she said,  "Maybe I like..."

         He was forced to chase her all the way home.

***********

        Beryl sent Youma Xerox to maintenance.  I need a 
different plan, she thought.  And a smarter general.  Well, 
my second one isn't too bad.  A pity Jerry Lewis and Dean 
Martin died.  Now, THEY would have made a good team of 
evil generals.  

        She set her staff to TV mode and started flipping 
channels, looking for inspiration.  Settling upon one 
channel, she suddenly realized what she really wanted.  
Okay, they won't be able to join any GLB societies, she 
thought, but these two...yes, they'll be perfect.  At least 
the man is.  "Youma Xerox!"  Oh wait, she's in for 
maintenance.  "Youma Microsoft!"

         An evil youma with glasses and a pudgy face ran 
out.  "Yes, my Queen?"

        "Go to Vancouver and kidnap the following people."

        They both laughed in unison after she made out her 
list.  At least until Youma Microsoft shouted, "GENERAL 
PROTECTION FAULT!"  and fell over unconscious.

        Beryl decided to subcontract this job to another 
Youma.  Youma OS2/Warp or Youma UNIX maybe.  Even 
Youma Casio didn't crash all the time.



John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu       
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/

If it has passed from the high and the beautiful to darkness and ruin, that
was of old the fate of Arda Marred; and if any change shall come and the
Marring be amended, Manwe and Varda may know; but they have not revealed it,
and it is not declared in the dooms of Mandos.
--Final Line of The Silmarillion