Well, here it is, my part of the bargain. I said I'd do it, and
by gum! I'm going to do it.


A Cynical Sonuvab-- Production


Song by Sarah McLachlan, entitled "Drawn to the Rhythm" and can be
found on her "Solace" album. I heartily recommend it and her. 

Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi. It can be found as an import, or
translated by Viz. She's got the rights to it, not I. This is
strictly a non-profit project.

A warning to Gary-- this includes Sasuke, although his name only
pops up twice or thrice (in the same scene) and is used merely as a
plot-point. You've been warned.


                    Drawn to the Rhythm


When we wore a heart of stone we wandered to the sea
Hoping to find some comfort there yearning to feel free
& We were mesmerised by the hall of the night & the smells
 that fill the air
& We layed us down on sandy ground it was cold but we didn't care

    C: We were drawn to the rhythm .
            drawn to the rhythm of the sea
    C: We were drawn to the rhythm .
            drawn to the rhythm of the sea.

We fell asleep and began to dream when something broke the night
Memories stirred inside of us the struggle & the fight
& We could feel the heat of a thousand voices telling us which way
 to go
& We cried out is there no escape from the words that plague us so
            -Chorus-

In the still & the silent dawn another day is born
Washed up by the tireless waves the body bent &torn
When you wake in the face of the blinding sun
& you search only to find
That heaven is a stranger place than what you've left behind
            -Chorus-


    "I'm hot," complained a female Ranma, fanning herself 
ineffectually with a paper fan, on the step to the garden. 

    July, Japan, and a heatwave to make it worse. The humidity was 
incapacitating, every day muggy and sticky. People's were
irritable, and quicker than usual to anger, the heat kept
everyone's temper seething just below boiling. 

    "We should go to the beach!" expounded Soun in a flash of utter 
brilliance.

    This was what everyone needed, a chance to cool down and relax
a bit. Kasumi began to happily plan what food and such to bring
along on the trip, Ranma's eyes lit up at the thought of the ocean,
and everyone else generally became a lot more genial. 
    So the Tendo household, along with the two Saotomes
not-always-men, eagerly went to the beach to relax.

    Life was never that simple.

    The Nekohanten had moved to the beach for the summer-- the same
beach which Ranma and company were at. Mousse, Shampoo, and Cologne
were already there. 
    
    Ukyo decided to take her portable grill with her to the beach
to enjoy the sea. It brought back memories of her early training as
an okonomiyaki chef, actually. Pure happenstance had it be the same
beach the Tendo/Saotome group were going to.
    Sasuke had been hiding underneath the Tendo house, and so
overheard their plans, which he relayed to his master. Needless to
say, Kuno had to follow with his servant Sasuke. 
    To top it all off, Ryoga had wandered onto the scene, mumbling
something about, "how the fiend would pay for what he has done."
Not a good day if your name was Ranma Saotome (which it was for at
least one person there). 
    Needless to say, all hell broke loose. Mousse and Ryoga tried
to attack Ranma upon sight (well, in Mousse's case upon
recognition). Kuno tried to grab Ranma, who was currently female
(Ranma did want to go into the water after all), while Ukyo and
Shampoo wanted to get Ranma for themselves. Akane ended it all by
hammering Ranma into the sand like a nail with her mallet.
    Kuno was the next to be taken care of, aforementioned mallet
launching him into a nearby ice cream cart and peaceful oblivion,
after Kuno started to profess his love for the beauteous Akane.
Mousse was rendered temporarily harmless when Shampoo bashed him
over the head with one of her bonbori, shortly after Mousse told
her he would win her love by "defeating Ranma." 
    Ryoga was easy to incapacitate. After two minutes of being in
Akane's presence Ryoga was a babbling idiot. Thus, only the
fiancee's were left to worry about and they contented themselves
with dirty looks and low growls when they looked at each other.
Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyo were all studiously ignoring each other
while at the same time time sneaking glances at the other two, just
to be on the safe side, of course. 
    So what do we have? Ukyo busily tending to Ranma, Shampoo
fuming at an unconscious Mousse, while Akane oscillated between
fuming at her insensible fiance in his tank top and shorts and
talking with her friend, Ryoga, sometimes doing both. Genma-panda
was shooing away children as he tried to get an ice-cream cone,
while Soun was standing proudly under the umbrella he put up and
laughing heartily at the brilliance of his beach idea. The loud
Hawaiian shirt he wore, along with the expression on his face gave
Soun Tendo a disturbing resemblance to Principal Kuno, who was out
of the country at the time. Kasumi had started to remove the food
from the cooler, placing it on the blue and white checkered blanket
in front of her, while Nabiki lounged in a beach chair, trying to
make her skin rough and wrinkled when she got older by getting a
tan.
    Soun and Genma did some plotting together over a shogi board
(and cold sake, of course) and had came up with an idea to force
their progeny together. The idea was a marvel in simplicity, and
solved what they had decided were the two main problems. Problem
one was to get Ranma and Akane away from any of the other potential
suitors; while problem two was to get at least one of them to rely
on the other. The two men had realised that Ranma and Akane acted
differently when the other needed help, and that oftentimes it was
the intrusion of others (not Genma and Soun, whose machinations
only furthered the relationship, but other people) that ruined any
rapport Ranma and Akane were beginning to develop.
    The idea was simple: get them in a boat. Akane, with her
swimming ability, or more accurately her lack thereof, would have
to rely on Ranma. Being in a boat, away from the beach, they would
be away from any of the others here who might want Ranma and/or
Akane for him/herself, or want to kill one of the two. The only
problem was in the execution of the plan. In other words, Genma and
Soun weren't too sure on how they could get their kids into the
boat in the first place. Soun solved this by crying enough to give
Niagara Falls a run for it's money and pleading with Akane, and a
demon's head aura while threatening Ranma.
    Soon enough, Ranma and Akane were out on the waves, far enough
so that those on the beach could not hear what they were saying,
but still in sight of them. Ranma rowed, loudly proclaiming his
mistrust in Akane's ability to help. This was not the most prudent
course of action for Ranma, especially when Akane decided to hammer
him into the ground, er, ocean. Akane stood, to get a better
position to smash Ranma with her mallet, when a wave hit. Akane
lost her balance, and the wave threw Akane out of the rowboat.
    To those on shore the sound of Akane's splash affected them
like a gunshot. Heads whipped towards the boat in time to catch
Akane's body go below the water, and to see a frantic Ranma dive in
after her. 
    Akane had learned how to swim one way-- unfortunately that way
was down. Ranma dove in immediately, but could not catch sight of
Akane at first. 
    There, Ranma saw her, sinking fast. Powerful strokes carried
her down, lungs already starting to burn though the distance was
being eaten up; albeit too slowly. Ranma cursed himself for not
taking a deeper breath before he dove in, and swam up for more air.
This time she would not have to spend time looking for her. Ranma
surfaced, took a deep breath, and dove under again. Her movements
were swift and swift; each powerful stroke brought Ranma closer to
Akane's unconscious form, then everything went wrong.
    An arm, greenish and scaled, with a webbed hand and a small fin
on the elbow, shot out with blinding speed from behind a rock. The
hand latched onto Akane's ankle and dragged her along, pulling her
out of view. The shocked Ranma let precious air escape.
    Ranma swam to the rock and found an opening slowly start to
close on the sea floor. Ranma scrambled in after the faint outline
of whatever it was that grabbed Akane, and followed; heedless of
burning lungs or fading vision, until finally human frailty caught
up with her. The passageway was dark and though Ranma was a top
martial artist, and a warrior without peer. Ranma was also human,
and humans need air. As Ranma lost consciousness, she let a single
word drift past female lips into the darkness, "Akane."

    When Ranma woke, she found herself on the floor of a large,
well-lit cave. Light danced along the walls and ceiling, playfully
reflecting off the mother-of-pearl interior. "Where am I?" Ranma
asked, and started in surprise as the air bubbles came out of her
mouth. Underwater, and breathing it like it was air evidently, she
thought confusedly.
    "You are in my throne room mortal," rumbled a deep voice from
behind Ranma. She turned around, and saw the owner of the voice
step off a coral throne inset deep into the back of the cave. 
    The man who stepped down was gigantic, and greenish tinged,
with webbed hands and feet. Fins protruded from his elbows, and his
beard and hair seemed formed of seaweed. A great crown of gold,
encrusted with jewels (mainly large pearls, both black and white),
sat heavily on his noble brow. The man cocked his head to one side,
and said, "Jusenkyo water. Humph. It offends me for you to not
have your true form before me." 
    The man stretched an arm out to Ranma, made a turning gesture,
and when Ranma looked down, she was now a he again. "How? How...,"
was all Ranma could say.

    "I am the Lord of Water, and it is well within my powers. Now,
why have you come here boy?" he waved an arm negligently, and
continued on. "It matters not. You are here now, and that is
enough.
    "Child, I am bored, and so instead of just claiming you for my
own as is my right, I will give you a sporting chance, in the hopes
that it will prove entertaining. You will fight Riptide, one of my
better fighters."

    "And if I don't want to?"

    "Well then, I will claim my right and you will never leave my
realm. Further, I will be mightily vexed by this and with you in my
powers...," the being trailed off meaningfully. "However," the Lord
continued meaningfully, "I will be magnanimous, if you beat
Riptide, I will grant you a boon. It is well within my powers to
remove your Jusenkyo curse from you, permanently, if you so
desire."

    "A cure? Why didn't ya say so? Let's do it!" Ranma said with a
feral grin and cracking knuckles.

    Riptide came out of the recesses of the throne-cave looking
like violence personified. Solid black orbs for eyes that glinted
in the reflected light. Dull greenish-grey skin with small quills
and spikes protruding from it covered a well muscled, if oddly
jointed frame.
    Riptide came at Ranma with the speed of a starving shark and an
open maw with rows of razor-edged teeth. Ranma dodged, but the
water had slowed his reaction time to something less than lightning
quick and so he one of the quills managed to scrape his left
shoulder.
    Pain shot up through the shallow wound; Ranma's eyes rolled up
and his mouth had a rictus grin.

    "Did I forget to mention that Riptide's quills are covered with
a derivative of stone-fish poison? The poison won't kill you, but
then with stone-fish it is usually the pain which does you in."

    For The Cure, it would take more than mere pain to stop Ranma.
He continued to fight, ruthlessly suppressing what his nerves were
telling him. There was a price to be paid, of course. Slower
reaction time, not as fast. Less power, less concentration. An
impaired danger sense as he blocked what his body was telling him.
Less strength as the effort to block out the pain sapped his will.
Ranma got tagged four more times, still unused to the resistance of
the water, while Riptide cut through the water like it was not
there.
    The one hit Ranma got in rebounded harmlessly off Riptide's
side with his somewhat rubbery skin and quills which made it
extremely difficult to get a hit in without damaging himself. Ranma
was losing, badly. His mouth hung open as he panted with effort, a
sharp contrast to Riptide's elemental savagery. Blocking out the
effects of the poison made it harder to think clearly, and the
strange environment made it more difficult for Ranma to move, with
its bouyancy and its resistance rendering many of his moves
useless. 
    The quills were the most pressing problem-- each hit with them
only made it harder to go beyond the pain as well as preventing
Ranma from getting more hits in himself. The quills-- the quills...
of course! They were _covered_ with the poison, meaning that
Riptide probably did not make it himself, he probably was not
immune to the stuff.
    On Riptide's next pass Ranma grabbed one of the longer quills
and snapped it off. Riptide howled and backhanded Ranma across the
face, almost sealing one eye shut with the force of the blow. Ranma
grinned now, pain now mostly forgotten, though its effects were
not. This time, it was Ranma who launched the next round of attacks
instead of Riptide. 
    Sharp quill in hand Ranma launched himself at Riptide, who was
too surprised by such a turn of events to mount an effective
defense, as well as trusting in the multitude of his spikes and
spines to do more damage to Ranma than he would receive himself.
Ranma, however, had a different plan and managed to jab his
opponent with the poison covered spike in his hand. 
    Riptide's head snapped back in pain as the quill pierced
through the skin of his chest. The pain intensified as Ranma's
guess about the poison proved correct and it spread itself through
Riptide's nervous system. 
    Not having as much incentive as Ranma had, and perhaps not
quite as innured to pain as he could have been, being far more used
to dealing it out than receiving it, Riptide was nearly
incapacitated. Then again, it was also a deeper wound, and more
poison would have made it through his system all at once, as
opposed to Ranma, who had it come in increments. Regardless, it was
a simple matter for Ranma to win now, his opponent rendered almost
insensible with his own attack.
    The match, such as it remained, was over with a crescent kick
to the crown of Riptide's head, kocking him out. The Waterlord and
his court applauded. 

    "We have not seen one defeat Riptide so soundly in a very long
time! We are mightily impressed! A banquet will be held in your
honour!"

    Ranma collapsed, the effects of the poison now taking its toll.
Before Ranma passed out he noticed one of the Waterlord's servants
come towards him with a strange look in her face. She looked
familiar; he could swear that haircut was the same one that....


    Ranma snapped to consciousness, and opened his eyes. He felt
perfectly fine and checked himself. No cuts, no bruises, no damage
whatsoever, and the poison was flushed out of his system. 

    "Our magic has healed you, which is only fair since we were
greatly entertained by the match in which you received them."

    Ranma was still on the throne-cave's floor. Looking towards the
direction the voice came from, he saw the Waterlord on his throne
of pearl and sunken treasure. In front of Ranma was a long table,
luxuriously decorated and laden to the point of breaking with foods
from all over the world. Seafood, obviously. Lobster, mussel, fish
of all sorts, sizes and rarities, crayfish, octopus, caviar,
everything. The Waterlord clapped his hands, and serving merwomen
came with chairs and plates and eating utensils in a frenetic
bustle of arms and legs and items and energy. 

    "Sit and enjoy. This banquet is in your honour. We have not had
a land-dweller come to us so in a very long time."

    Ranma looked at the food, mesmerised by the sheer amount of it,
and took the seat nearest to him woodenly. He began to eat,
fantasticly hungry. The water did not hamper Ranma's speed, he ate
like he was possessed. Picolete Chardin III had nothing on the
amount or the speed Ranma downed his food. Even the Waterlord
looked on in a kind of horrified awe. 

    "Never. Even though the our healing magic should have left you
hungry, I have never seen anything like this, not by a shark, not
by a pack of pirhana, never," he whispered hoarsely. "What is your
name, lad?"

    Ranma looked up, momentarily slowing down his intake to merely
a blur. "Ranma. Ranma Saotome."

    One of the serving merfolk dropped a tray, calling attention to
herself. "Ranma?" 

    Ranma snapped his head back up and looked around.

    "One of my newest servants," the Waterlord said. "She is still
learning her job."

    The young merwoman made her way to Ranma. The familiar mushroom
haircut of Akane's was evident, as was her face, distorted as it
was by the fine scales her skin was replaced by and by the lack of
a nose (instead she had breathing slits, gills most likely, on
either side of her neck).

    "Akane," was all Ranma said.

    "The girl," the Waterlord said simply. "She drowned, and
those who drown are subject to me."
   
    "But--"

    "She is mine. What is she to you?"

    "I-- I mean-- she--," Ranma started and stopped and started and
stopped, not really answering the question.

    "I see," the Waterlord said, furrowing his brows. "You followed
her here, did you not?"

    "Yes."

    "You were trying to save her, weren't you?

    "Yes."

    "And then you saw her disappear and followed her."

    "Yes."

    "She couldn't swim, could she?"

    "No." Ranma shook his head.

    "Do you love her?"

    Ranma backed up. "Love? Love? Who would love such an uncute
tomboy like her? She can't swim, can't float, can't cook, got no
sense of style or balance and--" Ranma would have continued, but a
tray suddenly make contact with his gut and doubling him over made
that difficult.

    "Then if you do not love her, we do not see a problem."

    "I can't let ya do that," Ranma said, clenching his fists and
making his knuckles pop.

    "It is-- our right!" the Waterlord roared. "She drowned, and
therefore she is ours!"

    "If one of your servants hadn't taken her, I could have rescued
her."

    "You try our patience, Ranma Saotome. You are alive on our
sufferance only. It is only through our will that you do not drown
here."

    Ranma looked at Akane. He looked at the Waterlord. He looked
back at Akane. Was there really ever a choice?

    "We will remove your curse now and then you may leave, boy."        

    The Waterlord stretched out his hand towards Ranma, beckoning
Ranma towards him. Ranma jerked back.

    "Wait," Ranma said. "I have a boon, right? You didn't say what
I could ask for, right? One gift from you?"

    "Yes, make it quick and anger us no more."

    Ranma took a deep breath. He looked straight at Akane, pointed
at her and said, "Then I request Akane. Release her. I want her,
alive."

    The Waterlord grew wroth. "Do you know that after we do this,
we could kill you? We could merely let you stop being able to
breathe the water, and you would die and be ours?" he questioned,
low voice a frigid current. 

    Ranma nodded, never once taking his eyes of Akane. 

    "You still want this, even though you could be rid of your
curse? Even though you could rid everyone everywhere of your
curse?"

    Ranma said nothing-- only nodding and nothing more. Akane was
trying to mouth words but some power held them back from Ranma's
ears.

    "You would do this, even though it meant your death?" the
Waterlord asked incredulously for a last time.

    This time Ranma did turn his head to look at the underwater
king. "It is a martial artist's duty," he explained.

    The Waterlord peered deeply at Ranma, at and into him. The
majesty looked at Akane and crooked a finger. She was forced over
to him by some unseen current. "Come here," he said. 

    The Waterlord grabbed Akane by the arm and picked her up. He
held her like a father might his newborn daughter. He waved a hand
over Akane's face and she... changed. Where once there was a
merwoman now was Akane, back to her old form. Her eyes were closed.

    "She is asleep now. She will be brought up to your boat on the
waters above. She will live."

    Ranma visibly relaxed.

    "And what shall we do about you?" the Waterlord said, bemused.
"What indeed shall we do with one who lives only at our suf'rance,
and who risks angering us so?"
    The Waterlord stood. "There is only one thing to do to someone
that foolish," he said, every word pronouncing doom.

    "What?" Ranma croaked out.

    "Let him go!" The Waterlord's face broke out into a smile,
teeth white as pearl showing. "We don't want someone that foolish
in our service!" He laughed.

    Ranma blinked. He blinked again. He blinked once more and then
face-faulted.

    In between laughs the Waterlord said, "Go now, and trouble us
no more. Truly you passed all tests and all obstacles. May the both
of you have a wonderful life together. Leave, in peace, and with
our gift."

    "You're going to remove the curse from me?" Ranma said
hopefully.

    The Waterlord laughed and waggled a finger at Ranma. "You will
have to wait to find out what that gift is."

    Ranma walked towards the king under the water, and gently
transferred Akane to his arms. He looked down at her sleeping face
and allowed a small smile to flicker over his. Ranma looked up to
the Waterlord who towered over him, and saw the king nodding. The
great cavern opened up its ceiling. Ranma nodded at the king and
kicked off, making his way to the surface with Akane in his arms.
    Not being able to find the boat, but worried that Akane or he
might not be able to survive underwater much longer, Ranma broke
the surface and gasped, tasting the freshness. Ranma rolled over,
allowing Akane's head, which was underneath his own, to get air.
Her eyes opened suddenly with the contact and she breathed evenly. 

    "Was it... was it, real?" she whispered.

    Ranma was busily doing a backstroke towards the shore. "Yeah.
Don't move so much, you'll make me lose my grip."

    Akane realised something. "You're still a guy! Did he cure you
anyway?" 

    "He said he didn't. Maybe it's cuz I'm still in the water. I
dunno." Ranma looked back and saw the approaching shoreline. "Not
much farther now," he said, absently.

    The rest of the swim back to shore was made in silence.



    Night fell, as was its wont. People were celebrating Akane's
rescue. Soun had finally stopped crying. Genma clapped Ranma on the
shoulders one too many times and as a result was now a panda
covered in seaweed. Everyone wanted to know what happened and the
secret of Ranma's seeming cure, for he would not turn into a female
no matter how much or how cold the water was they used on him after
seeing him arise from the sea, male and holding Akane. Ranma told
them nothing. 
    In truth, he did not know why he had not changed back into a
woman when doused. A hot bath had shown him that it was not that
the curse was merely reversed, either. Ranma had his suspicions,
obviously. A temporary nullification of the curse, perhaps, but he
did not know for how long.
    Ranma managed to escape the party and the other cursed people
who wanted to know about his cure. He padded along the beach
silently, the full moon silhouetting him. 

    "One day," a sea breeze whispered in Ranma's ears.

    Ranma perked up.

    "My gift to you. For one day out of the year you shall be
uncursed, free from Jusenkyo's effects. On this day, every year, to
remember me and to remember what you have done and why."

    Ranma stared out into the sea and saw no one, heard nothing,
just the gentle slapping of water against shore. He turned around
to make his way back to everyone and saw Akane on a grassy knoll,
staring out at the sea, staring at him.




Author's notes: 

    Well, as promised, my anti-entry. Personally, I think it reads
a tad like one of the Ranma movies, except worse. Same basic
premise though, really. Akane gets kidnapped, Ranma must rescue.
It's been done, it's been done, it's been done. I don't know, not
exactly the opposite of what I was challenging others to write, but
close enough, I suppose. It will have to do. 
    I'm just too selfless to understand that curious selfishness so
often seen in Hollywood movies. I cannot understand putting the
importance of one person above that of many people, it just doesn't
add up to me (I'm not saying that one person may not be more
important to me than another person, but one vs. many? that's
different).
	It is not easy to write in spite of your biases, and even though
I count myself able or more likely to do that more than many (When
Ranma Was Two, for example-- I really not a Nabiki fan, which some of
you who've seen me at #fanfic on FFIRC might know (join us now! Not only
on Sunday's but throughout the week at nights, EST), and yet I'm doing
a not too shabby job of keeping her fairly in character, considering 
what we know of her at the beginning of the series while portraying her
favourably), I think this was perhaps too much for me.
    I suppose that incomprehension of mine shows here, in the trite
storyline and fairly uninspired prose and writing. Criticise if you
want (I think I've proven I can take anything you're going to say
about this one), comment if you want. It is your choice, after all.

(there we go, and I even managed to put in a couple of plugs. Cool, eh?)
^_^


Matthew "Maybeso" Lewis is:
InDefinitelyso on IRC
See him on FFIRC [bachman.newberry.edu fanfic]
Sojiro_Seta on Kawaiimuck
	maybeso@ican.net
Playing the fool in a foolish world
____________________________________________________________

Evil: adjective. wicked or bad; mischievous; very 
disagreeable or angry; unfortunate (rare or archaic)....
			-The Chambers Dictionary, 1993 ed.

(So yes, I really AM evil!)
____________________________________________________________