This is quite raw, fresh off my word processor.  Any and all comments
welcome.  Better title suggestions gratefully accepted.



Duty and Desire

by Richard Lawson


The castle itself was surrounded by lush scenery.  Immaculate grass lawns
and pleasant forests surrounded it on all sides.  A moat, more decorative
than a practical means of defense, also ringed the castle.  The sun seemed a
spotlight that shone directly on the castle, dazzling all with its radiance.
There was light and beauty and serenity all around.

None of that reached into the heart of the castle.

She sat at a table, reading.  Or trying to read, but mostly thinking, for
the words were intimately familiar.

She lifted her eyes, trying to give them something else to look at.  All
they found was listless metal, flat displays, rows of machines monitoring
the castle, the planet, the galaxy.  It was all ruthlessly efficient, as it
had to be.  Let beauty have its way elsewhere, this was a room of war.

She frowned and looked back down at the book.  The writing espoused an
entirely different philosophy, that of spirit and mind and heart instead of
cold logic.  Yet it was no less about war, about using those things to
protect by fighting.

With a sigh she closed the book.  It contained mysteries she was still
trying to understand, but she knew she would understand no more today.  Her
father had spent his life trying, and had used that knowledge to create
wonders.  At the same time, he had always told her that there was too much
for any one person to know.  That obsessing about learning all there is to
learn was an act of self-destruction.  All she had to do was look at the
witch to know the truth of that.

But she had learned enough to know that she needed learn a lot more.  Even
now no one truly understood how her father's creations worked.  Many efforts
had been made to duplicate them, all without success.  She was the heir to
that knowledge, those secrets.  And she still understood little more than
anyone else.

The sound of footsteps made her look over towards the hallway leading into
the control center.  She really didn't need to see in order to know who was
coming; only her Regent walked with such even, measured steps.  She smiled
at him.

He merely nodded, his face impassive.  She knew that to mean he was here on
business.  She rose to her feet, assuming without thought the posture of a
ruler.  "What may I do for you?" she asked in a formal tone.

"Princess."  He spoke more softly than usual.  "I have been in communication
with my counterpart on planet Mallar."

Her mind sifted through the knowledge she'd been instilled with as she'd
grown up.  Mallar.  Another planet run by a monarchy - a surprising number
still were.  About two hundred light years distant, main exports being iron
and helium.  Not a large political force - they were a bit far removed from
the other major players - but certainly wealthy and stable in their own
right.  As far as she knew, there had been no contact of any kind between
her planet and Mallar.  Until now.  "And?" she prompted.

The Regent stroked his mustache, the only nervous gesture he had, and only
used in her presence.  Clearly what he was about to say disturbed him.
"They wish to propose a union."

"Union?"  She wracked her brains some more.  Mallar was a member of the
Alliance, just as her own planet was.  "Of what nature?"

"Mallar wants to have a larger say in Alliance policy.  They feel that
issues affecting the outlying systems are being ignored.  There is certainly
room for them to grow, if they can only get some support from the Council."

She thought that over.  Space exploration and colonization was a difficult
and expensive thing to undertake, something no one planet could undertake on
its own.  But her planet would be of little help, since its exports were
mainly agricultural.  What little industry that had existed had been wiped
out during the attacks of five years ago, and the rebuilding was going
slowly.

Her eyes widened, and she looked at her Regent's face.  His eyes dropped for
a fraction of a second, confirming her suspicions.

She kept her voice steady and even.  "And what do they propose?"

He gave her the answers they both already knew.  "A treaty pledging support.
Unification of the monarchies, creating one voice to speak for both
planets."

"I see."  She tried to recall what she knew of the Mallar royal family.
"Thomas?"

"Prince Thomas Mallar, heir to the throne.  After the marriage, my
counterpart indicates that King Robert would likely abdicate in favor of his
son and new daughter."

"I see," she repeated.  She held her Regent's eyes.  He kept his gaze
steady, letting her know that he thought this was a good idea.

She counted ten breaths before she spoke again.  "And what benefit to us?"

"You know as well as I, Princess," he chided lightly.  "They have money and
industry our planet sorely needs.  They can help us rapidly finish the
rebuilding we began five years ago.  You will become a major voice on the
council, rivaling that of Earth's.  These things cannot be lightly
dismissed."

That last sentence was a subtle rebuke, for they both knew that she wanted
to do exactly that.  She clasped her hands in front of her to keep them from
becoming fists.  Her voice remained serene.  "Doesn't this kind of arranged
marriage strike you as archaic and unnecessary?  We are both members of the
Galaxy Alliance, after all."

He shook his head.  "Do not make me repeat lectures you know by heart,
Princess.  The Alliance is barely effective at maintaining order.  The head
of the Council has extreme difficulty making good decisions, trying to make
everyone happy at once.  There are still disputes that go unresolved, and
there were many minor skirmishes before the most recent attacks began.  For
all that a monarchy is seen by some as archaic, it remains the most
effective means of maintaining peace and order.  What *kind* of peace and
order depends on the rulers, of course."

He paused, and then spoke with a bit more force.  "Your father was as good a
man as I have ever known, and he ruled this planet fairly and wisely for
many years.  I see in you those same qualities, if only you would take your
place on the throne.  You would rule our planet and Mallar's with the same
kind strength your father used.  You would make both planets prosper, and
lead the way for the galaxy to finally find its own peace.  You destiny
awaits, Princess, if you would only allow it to claim you."

She nodded slowly.  "You mean, if I would only leave the team."

Her Regent sighed.  "I know it is difficult, Princess.  I know how much this
means to you.  But your life is too valuable to risk on these missions.
There is no one who could take your place if you were to fall.  Our planet
*needs* you, Princess.  Needs you alive, and actively ruling."

She raised an eyebrow.  "And producing heirs?"

For the first time, something like anger crossed his features.  "You know
that is not why I consider you to be a valuable asset to our planet.  You
have gifts far beyond-"

"I know.  I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."  She drew ten more breaths.
"Allow me time to consider the proposal."

"Of course, Princess."  He bowed, then straightened.  "These discussions are
only in the preliminary phases, and any agreement between us will be months
in the making.  I only ask your permission to continue talking with my
counterpart, with the understanding that no assent has yet been given."

"You have-" for some reason the words 'my blessing' refused to come out,
"-my permission.  Please keep me informed as to your progress."

"As you command, Princess."  He bowed again, and withdrew.

She stood absolutely still, alone in the command center.  She counted ten
breaths, then a hundred more.  Finally she ran, down the passageway, to the
transport.

She immediately and without conscious thought settled into the routine.  The
room sensed her, scanned her, and the transport came to life.  She settled
smoothly into it, and the bubble closed over her and she was off.  The
acceleration was constant, and soon she was moving very fast.  Just as
quickly the deceleration began - she didn't have far to go.  The transport
came to a stop and was immediately lifted into place.  It became part of her
ship.  *She* became part of her ship.

Some quick initialization routines and she was off.  She burst into the air
and then went higher and higher, pushing her ship as hard as it would go,
for once not much caring about the environmental effects of a sonic boom.
It felt good, it felt *wonderful*, and she felt the almost-savage smile on
her face as she escaped the last wisps of air and lifted into space.

There she paused, her ship hovering, wondering what to do.  She wanted to
*go* somewhere, take off into the galaxy and never come back.  She gazed
fondly at the stars around her and began to move towards them, keeping her
ship below lightspeed.

The stars were beautiful, hypnotic, seductive.  She wanted them, they wanted
her, she and the stars in an eternal dance, discovering each other's music.
It could be a nice life.  A wonderful life.

"Princess?"

She started and looked to the side.  Another ship, very much like hers but
larger, was floating nearby.  She hadn't even noticed it approaching.
"Commander," she said by way of greeting.  Despite being the Princess, *he*
was the leader of the team and she always deferred to his decisions.

The Commander's image appeared on a display before her.  "What are you
doing?" he asked, all business.

She knew a small flash of guilt.  "Nothing.  I... just came out here to
think."

"Oh."  She heard a bit of reproof in his voice.  "Princess..." he trailed
off, and she knew the difficulty he was in.  He wanted to chastise her, but
she was still the ruler of the planet.  He never had problems issuing orders
in combat, but in everyday situations he always seemed uncomfortable.

She came to his rescue.  "I'm sorry.  I know this isn't a pleasure craft."
She turned a lazy somersault with her ship.  "I just feel... more relaxed
when I'm flying this one.  More alive."

She saw him nod his understanding.  "Freer."

"Yes."  The word came hard and passionate.  Freedom.  Only when she was
flying with the team did she feel truly free.

The Commander regarded her.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  It's just..."  The planet came into view, cutting off the stars,
filling her horizon.  "I was just given a reminder that... that I can't stay
with you boys forever."

"Oh?"  His voice was gently inquiring, nothing more.

"Planet Mallar has come forward with a proposal that I am to wed the heir to
the throne."

"Oh."  This time his voice was filled with comprehension, with just a little
touch of apprehension.  "How soon?"

"Probably not for a couple of years.  But soon enough."  The planet moved
slid by, revealing stars again.

"Will you do it?"

She grunted in a very un-Princess-like manner.  "Do I have a choice?"

It seemed to shock him.  "Of course you do.  You don't have to marry him if
you don't love him."

Sadly she shook her head.  "The witch once said to me, 'What's love got to
do with it?'  She was quite right.  People in my position rarely marry for
love."

The Commander didn't seem to know what to say.  She saw him opening and
closing his mouth as if trying to find a beginning.  He was a very serious
man, and passionate in the things he believed in, but he had never been very
good at interpersonal contact.  That served him well as an officer, but left
him unable to find the right things to say or do in certain situations.  He
wanted to give her comfort, but didn't know how to begin.

She suddenly found a kind of affectionate amusement in the situation.  Here
he was trying his best to find in thirty seconds the answers she'd been
trying to find for five years and more.  The effort touched her as the same
time that it seemed utterly ludicrous.

"Hey, are you trying to catch flies or something?" she asked with laughter
in her voice.  Her ship, sensing her mood, playfully snapped its tail at the
Commander's ship.  "Let's race!"

He blinked.  "What?"

"Too slow!"  She activated the thrusters, and her ship took off.

She followed the curve of the planet until she saw his ship begin to move
after her.  Then she flew off at an angle that would allow him to intercept
her.  She studied his face as he flew his ship, trying to see what he was
feeling.  He looked more uncertain than anything else.

Their ships met and flew together, neck and neck.  She kept increasing the
speed and he kept matching it.  She flew faster and faster, her heart
pounding with excitement, she could almost feel the wind rushing by her
ears, the muscles rippling under her fur as she bounded along...

With a giggle she activated the megathrusters.  She heard the Commander cry
out as she suddenly leaped ahead, blue energy leaving a trail in her wake.

"Princess!  You shouldn't be doing that, not unless-"

"For heaven's sake, just let *go*, Keith!"  She spun her ship around the
axis of its vector, watching the stars spin giddily through the blue haze.

She didn't watch, but sensed when he activated his megathrusters.  And then
even though she had a considerable lead at this point, she felt her ship
getting closer to his, the ships being drawn together as the urge to join
her ship to his surged along her veins.  She let her head fall back as she
allowed the exhilaration to run rampant through her soul.

And just as their ships were about to meet, she stopped her roll and grabbed
his chest with legs, her jaws clamped around his throat.  He yelped and she
laughed as their ships spun out of control, his white glow and her blue glow
fading out as the megathrusters shut down.

Soon the ships began of their own accord to slow the tumble and slow down,
until they were both relatively stationary.  She considered him as this
happened, her face still flush.  How old had she been when she'd first met
him?  Sixteen?  Seventeen?  Very young, anyway.  She'd become quite
infatuated with him, and why not?  He was handsome and daring and committed
and vibrant.  And young, not more than a couple of years older than she was.
He'd had no idea how to handle her crush, and they'd played a little at
flirting with each other.

As time had gone by, and the battles had raged on, the initial rush of
attraction had begun to fade.  They'd quickly settled into the role of
Commander and subordinate during missions.  Outside of that, she was the
Princess of a planet trying to rebuild, and that had consumed much of her
time and energy.  So what might have been during those first few desperate
months had become two professionals who worked very well together and shared
occasional bits of friendship when time permitted.  And nothing more.

She disentangled her ship from his and found, to her surprise, that they
were hovering over her planet again.  Something had brought her back here.
Probably the ships themselves.  They knew where they belonged.

"Princess."  He sounded a little out of breath, but otherwise he was firmly
in control.  "No matter what anyone says, you have a choice here.  You're
the one who's always telling us to follow our hearts instead of trying to do
what's logical.  Surely the same thing applies now."

"Yes, it does."  She looked at the planet, at its lovely blue oceans and
brown-and-green lands, and the sight made her chest tighten.  "And I love my
people.  More than I might love any one man.  I must do what's best for
them."

He sounded a little shocked and a little sad.  "Allura-"

She laughed.  "Heh.  What delicious irony in my name.  It means desire.  But
it's always been someone else's desire, not my own, that is my destiny and
my namesake.  The desire of my people to feel safe and protected.  *That*
has to be my ultimate priority.  It's what my father taught me.  It's why he
built these ships in the first place, to protect his people.  I cannot shame
him by putting my desire before my people's."

The Commander sighed.  "Can't they coincide?"

She shook her head, a sad smile on her lips.  "Only in fairy tales, Keith.
Never in real life."

"Surely... surely there's someone you love?  Someone that... might make a
good king?"

She looked down.  A face filled her mind despite her best efforts to block
it out.  "There... there might have been," she admitted.  "Once.  A man I
might have loved.  But it's impossible now."  She closed her eyes, suddenly
filled with a need to *make* it possible.  There had to be a way, somewhere.
But it wouldn't happen.  Couldn't happen.  Her father would never forgive
her, and she would never forgive herself.

"Princess."  The Commander spoke gently from the display.  "You are the
strongest, most dedicated, most incredibly compassionate person I know.
You've gone through so much, stuff that would have turned other princesses
into mush."

She had to smile at that.

"If you've taught us nothing," he continued, "you shown us that nothing is
impossible.  Not if you try with all your heart and mind and spirit."

The words shot through her.  With all your heart and mind and spirit.  She'd
said those words many times before, but she hadn't listened to them in a
long time.  Now she did, and suddenly other words, words she'd read in her
father's books many times - now she could *hear* them, and hear in them
hope.  Maybe this was what her father had gone through, maybe this was how
he had found the means to build these lions.

And maybe, just maybe, that meant the impossible could be done.  With enough
heart and mind and spirit.  With enough love.

She lifted her head and smiled.  "Thank you, Keith.  You've been a big help.
Thank you for being here and... for understanding."

His smile and the affection filled her with a soft glow.  "It was my
pleasure, Princess.  Let's go home."

She nodded and turned her ship towards the planet below, her mind already
filling with ideas of how to make the impossible come to pass.

~*~


AUTHOR'S NOTES:  This fanfic is based on the continuity established by the
original Voltron dubs of the 80's and the current "Voltron: The Third
Dimension" series.  This continuity significantly differs from the original
"Go Lion" Japanese series.

The new series is at once wonderful (new Voltron episodes!) and
disappointing (after all this time they can't come up with any better
plots?).  The biggest disappointment is the almost complete loss of any kind
of characterization - each episode sets up a conflict, then has Voltron's
Blazing Sword cleave said conflict in two.

The most recent episode - in which Lotor attempts to force Allura to marry
him - rekindled some of the things I remember liking very much about the
original dub.  So I wrote this little snippet up.

This whole thing may later be invalidated by new episodes - there will be at
least five more.  If so, I may revise it then.  But for now I kind like some
of the questions this fanfic raises, so I'll leave it like it is.  ^_^

Comments and criticisms always welcome.

-Richard