Not bad. Not bad at all. A few minor nits, at least as I see them....

  I can't see Tenchi just standing by while Ryoko power-whomps his 
"girlfriend" and then gets into a martial arts match with her brother. 
Tenchi may not be the most decisive guy on the planet, but whenever his 
friends are placed in jeopardy, he is quick to act. The moment Ryoko 
whomped Akemi, he should have stepped in.

   And the fight with her brother.... even tho the TV Ryoko is 
down-powered compared to her OAV self, I thought that things were going 
*way* too well for Takeshi. And his reaction to Ryoko's sword seemed 
kind of too cool. He came across like "Sword, smord. Who cares?" A 
moment of two of confusion - trying to figure out exactly what he was 
facing - would have made it more believable. After that, the macho 
big-brother hormones could kick in and he'd dismiss the blade and 
concentrate on the person behind it.

   Now, I think that you did things the way you did to give Tenchi's 
"normal" friends an introduction to his bizaare "family." But it just 
felt wrong, for the reasons I gave above.

   That said, I think the best way to introduce them all to Ryoko would 
be a brief argument with Tenchi - he steps in to protect Akemi and the 
others from her temper, they argue a moment or two, then Ryoko either 
teleports away or phases through a wall. Either of those would have a 
definite "What the?" factor for Tenchi's friends.


That's all I noticed right off. Other than that, it was very good. 
Write faster  ^_^


Derek