Coming to America

Chapter One

 

     "There was something in the air that night! The stars were
bright! Fernando!"

    Herb looked away from his two singing companions and saw
that all of the people in the airplane were looking at them. Herb said,"I
don't know them."

    He looked away from the people and thought about how  irritating his situation was. He couldn't possibly throw a chi blast at the  blithering idiots so he would just have to sit and suffer their idiotic antics.
    Lime stopped singing and pulled down one of the emergency oxygen masks and  shouted,"Hey, Herb-sama look at this! Normal air!" Lime put the mask to his face and said,"Emergency air!"

    Mint tried to take the mask from Lime and shouted,"Hey give that to me! I want it!" Lime kept the mask from Mint and stook his tongue out at the wolf boy. Herb groaned and put his head in his hands. It couldn't possibly get any worse.

    The prince of the Musk Dynasty saw that the in flight movie had startedand so did Lime and Mint.  Herb could barely speak as he saw the camera pan to show mountains and a young
woman.

    Lime and Mint sang with the woman,"The hills are alive with the
sound of music!"

    Herb let a blood curdling scream and swore eternal
vengeance on Murphy.

---

    As they walked down the terminal Herb couldn't help, but feel like he hadbeen traumatized. After the flight he had quickly beaten Lime
and Mint for being such nuisances, but they didn't seem to mind.

    As they had walked downthe terminal Lime and Mint said they thought they spotted some bald  men dressed in orange robes. Lime and Mint had run up to them and asked if they were like the guys from the tv show Kung-Fu.

    Before they could respond the terrible duo had begun 'sparring' with them. As Lime and Mint left there battered bodies onthe ground one of the men held up a flower and croaked out,"Hare Krishna."

    Now going through the runway Herb lectured his two loyal
henchmen. "Okay, while we're here we should start to speak American."
    Mint looked like he was about to say something, but shut up when Herbnarrowed his eyes at him.

    "We're going to take our next flight to Washington D.C.
where we'll meet my fiancee. Is that understood?"

    Lime and Mint nodded their heads and Mint asked,"Herb-sama! Do we have time for sight seeing?"

    Herb said,"No."

    Lime and Mint both gave puppy dog  looks and said,"Please Herb-sama!" Herb looked at them and couldn't find the heart to beat the living hell out ofthem. He was definitely becoming soft.

    "Okay, where did you want to go?"

    Lime and Mint  shouted,"We wanted to go to the Museum of JurassicTechnology!"

    Herb blinked and said,"What the hell is that?!"

    Lime said,"Uh, well it's a museum.... of Jurassic Technology!" Mint shook his head violently and said,"Yeah that's it!"

    Herb frowned and said,"You two have no idea what it is, right?"

    The tiger boy and the wolf boy laughed nervously.

     Herb groaned and said,"Well, do you two at least know where it is?" Lime shook his head yes and Herb said,"Fine, but let's get it  over with. I want to get on that plane and leave L.A. as soon as possible."
    At hearing the city's name Lime and Mint began to blare out,"I love L.A.! We Love it! I love L.A.! We love it!"

    Herb cracked his knuckles and found that his moment of clemency had now been replaced by his beat the shit out of the two knuckle heads before they drove him insane moment. At least it couldn't get
any worse.

---

    It got worse.

    The instant they had set foot in the small  building Lime and Mint had made total asses of themselves and Herb had to apologize for their behavior. (in a non native tongue no less!) Herb didn't really
want to destroy a museum, no matter how odd it was, so he suffered Lime and Mint's  actions without unleashing violence upon them.

    "Hey Herb-sama look at this!" Mint shouted. He turned around and saw that Lime was looking into the wall through alooking glass.Herb walked over and Lime stepped aside.

    Herb noted that the glass magnified the imageand found what he saw interesting. It was  a needle and on top of it wereSnow White andthe Seven Dwarfs.

    Mint said,"Say, Lime how do you figure the guy made those things small enough to fit on the head of a needle?"

    Lime waved his hand and said,"It's an optical allusion. There's noway that you could make something that small."

    Mint said,"Well, I don't believe you!"

    Lime grinned and said,"Okay, I'll prove it by smashing through the wall and taking it out!"

    Mint said,"Okay!"

    "Not okay!" Herb yelled.

    He spun around and dragged them away from the exhibit before they could do any damage. He took them over to an exhibit that was called 'Tell the Bees'. Herb being the only one who could actually read 'American' decided to translate for Lime and Mint some of the writings on the exhibit.

    "If a relative or spurned lover was unhappy with a marriage he/ she couldgo to the weddingwith a pair of  scissors. At the reception he/ she would stand behind thegroom and call out his name. If the groom turned around the person could make it so the couple... could... not... consumate... the.... marriage."

    Lime and Mint scratched their heads not comprehending what was just said. Unfortunately Herb had comprehended what was just said and was turning an interesting shade of green at the moment.

    Lime and Mint asked Herb simultaneously,"What do you mean 'make it so the couple could not consumate the marriage'?"

    Herb shook his head and said,"I'll tell you when you're older. Let's get out of here!"

    Lime said,"But Herb we wanted to get t-shirts!"

    Mint said,"Please!"

    He wanted to scream at the two idiots. There was no
way that the Prince ofthe Musk Dynasty would do the bidding of commoners! Herb would not tolerate their whininess anymore!

    He took one look at their puppy dog faces and crumbled. "What sizes do youtwo wear?"

---

     "My t-shirt makes less sense than your t-shirt!"

    "Nuh, uh! My t-shirt makes less sense than yours!"

    Herb blocked out the banter between his two esteemed colleages and wentback tryingto get three plane tickets for Washington D.C.
    "Does not!"

    "Does too!"

    Maybe he could just get one plane ticket to Washington D.C.

    The young man behind the counter said in 'American',"Well, Mr.-"

    "Herb. Prince Herb." Herb said in heavily accented 'American'.

    The young man raised an eyebrow at that and said,"Okay, whatever you say. Prince Herb, you wanted three tickets to Washington D.C., right?"

    Herb said,"Yes."

    "You do know that it's a busy season?"

    "I don't care what season it is! Get me on
the next plane to WashingtonD.C."

    The young man looked at his computer and  said,"The next available flight for Washington D.C. will be in twelve days."

    "What?!"

    "I told you it was a busy season."
    Herb said,"But I need to get there in ten days!"

    The young man  said,"Hey, It would only take you four days to get there if you went by car."

    The thought of being stuck in a car with the two idiots behind
him for acoupleof days flashed through his mind. There was only one way he could respond tothat thought.

    "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

 

 

 

 

Ryoucilo

Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.