Alan Harnum wrote:

For a real challenge, you might rewrite this from the POV of one of

the

attackers. Show us what it is that drives a man to do such a

despicable

act -- maybe some of the things that we can see to lesser degrees in
ourselves. Now *that* would be frightening.

I apologize but I must disagree with you.  The story, being written

from

Akane's point of view and therefore simply shows what she was going
through.

I don't think it "simply" shows.  I think Gary's right; it "preachily"

shows

what the unnamed wife is going through.

I'll throw in my agreement with Richard and Gary here.  I understand and
agree fully with the author's intentions, but the tone of the story
turns me off completely.  Messages in a work are fine, but you have to
be careful that they don't interfere with the effectiveness of the
story; at that point, you're not writing fiction, you're writing a
tract.

The story isn't even really being written from the wife's point of 
view since she doesn't describe what she saw and experienced, and
describes events that she was not there for.

If I were in that position I have a feeling something similar would
running through my mind as well.

Perhaps.  But, from a story-telling perspective, I think Gary's right:

the

point would be *more* effective if it wasn't bludgeoned into our

skulls.

Subtelty in a story is much more effective than being blatant.  Just

compare

"Psycho" to "Friday the Thirteenth" to see the difference.

<nod>  In this case, entirely true.  Sometimes you can use a
sledgehammer; other times, you need a scalpel.

I think the major problem here is that the desire to impart the message
of the story got in the way of the telling of the story itself... first
of all, the idea of a dozen or so people, no matter how big, managing to
lay a finger on Ranma is fairly implausible.  Akane dealt with far more

True.  It would have made more sense if someone had just pulled a gun 
and shot him.  Although I'm not fond of guns as magic wands that guarantee
victory over the superpowered martial artists of Ranma 1/2, Ranma does
have a habit of letting his guard down when people accuse him of 
"perversion".

than that at the beginning of the series, and post-V38, she's nothing
compared to Ranma.  The preachy tone is also a problem; I don't enjoy
being preached to.

In a way, the story might have worked better with a character other than
Ranma; while I can understand him being the most obvious choice, the
themes the author wanted to deal with might have been better applied to
someone like Tsubasa, perhaps even Konatsu.

That actually brings up a couple of issues I had with the story.  One is
that no thought was given to the fact that Ranma himself would find the
relationship between his rescuers to be repellent and "unnatural".  
His reaction to Tsubasa demonstrates this.  There's an irony to that 
which deserved some note. 

Then there's the suggestion that the Japanese reaction would necessarily 
be different.  Does anyone remember what happened to Ranma when he was
caught in public wearing a dress for his little practical joke on
Ryoga?  Let me give you a hint.  It involved a lot of pain.