Date: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 18:16:18 -0500 (CDT)
From: Scott Jamison <majks@cyberx.com>
To: Shadow6865@aol.com
cc: FFML@fanfic.com
Subject: Re: [FFML] [fanfic][Ranma][darkish] A Matter of Face (fwd)



On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 Shadow6865@aol.com wrote:

    Interesting twists on the Ranma being burakumin story-line. The 

story

usually has Genma having the Eta class ancestry. Very interesting 

portrait of

Precisely.  It's almost *too* easy.

Tatewaki he is both the hero and the villain at the same time. He is 

being

honorable by sealing up the information and committing Seppuku (if 

you find

Seppukku honorable that is. I do not.) But he is being dishonorable 

by killing

the private eye. A great short fanfic.

Well, I'd classify Kunou as mad for purposes of this story.  He has 
overcome the delusions of his past, only to fall prey to an even worse 
monomania...

Hmmm...  Since you're the author, I can hardly disagree with your 
interpretation of the story, but I must tell you I came out of it with a 
somewhat different view.

I viewed Tatewaki's actions as extreme, but not mad.  He is correct that 
his various actions have created much dishonor, and his code of conduct 
requires Seppuku--for him to do otherwise would be a hypocrisy.  
Further, by that same code of conduct, the murder of the PI is 
acceptable, for he knows it will be atoned for and will, at the same 
time, atone for the error of hiring the man in the first place.

One suggestion.  You might want to consider adding a few points earlier 
on that make it clear that he is talking to _someone_, such as "Sit 
down, please.  I have made some tea for us."  That isn't really clear 
until the end of the story, and actually dilutes the shock value of the 
murder itself.  If you try this, I'd also switch the references of the 
PI to "hired you" and "I have often wondered what motivates men such as 
yourself...".

Just my 2 bits.

--Freemage

SKJAM!

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