An interesting fic.  Why is it though, that all Kenshin fics seem to
be dark and angsty?  Maybe I'll have to remedy the problem.

Nope, there are some that's quite funny. Join the Kenshin Fanfic ML and
you'll see. :) 

Anyway, there were a few images you used that don't fit in with the
Kenshin era.  Imagery and metaphor etc. should fit in with the 
setting.

okee... shoot. 

	"Kaoru-dono..." I whispered in the rain, the long strands 
soaking me to my very skin. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the 
droplets pound on me again and again, never stopping. The whole world 
was crumbling, crumbling into bits and pieces... Crumbling into a 
black hole... Crumbling endlessly... 

Black holes weren't discovered until the mid 1900's.

What I meant here isn't the scientific *black* hole. What I meant here is
simply a hole. A hole that has no light, that Kenshin couldn't see anything.
Besides, things don't crumble into the scientific black hole, they got
sucked into. Does that make sense? 

	The scene appeared before me once again, like a movie 
replaying itself again and again. I was there, holding a very pale 
Kaoru-dono. Blood came out from the sides of her mouth, leaving red 
stains on her chin. In an almost inaudible voice, she said to me her 
last words: 

Photography was just coming into use in Kenshin's time.  I don't
think motion pictures will show up for a while yet.

Okay, I'll think of other ways. 

	Warm rays greeted me, new vengeance visited me. I could feel 
Kaoru's presence near me, the familiar face that I saw so often. I 
knew she would bless me... 

	Slowly, I stood up, taking along my long sword. Softly in the 
slight breeze I whispered, "Kaoru-dono, trust me." 

Revenge and bloody slaughter would go against what Kaoru believed in,
and would also violate Kenshin's personal ethics (at least at the
point where I am in the series).  This is shown in the first episode
when Kenshin gives the little speech to Hiruma about Kaoru's goofy
ideas.

Kenshin is already a little delirious here... He isn't Himura Kenshin
anymore... He has to return being a hitokiri once again. Maybe you can
phrase it as he is turning back to Battousai. 

Don't start a thread about this one guys, it's included here cause I
wanted to post this publicly.

Nope, just wanted to explain some things. I'm not subscribed to FFML anymore
so if there's anything about this fic, please e-mail me directly. 

WindDance
winddance@uniserve.com

Siew Lee 

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URL: http://members.xoom.com/hiei/
UIN Number: #14025577

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