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The Clan - Chapter 5:

Business as Usual

by Chris Jones
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Ch 5.	- Business as Usual

Ye gads.  This is a fantastic work.  I assume that it's at least 
"informed by" Vampire Princess Miyu?

I do hope you plan to go in depth (over time, of course) on the 
different powers the girls manifest as they go over.  I'm also hoping 
that they tie into their personalities, somehow.

One question:  Have you considered, in depth, how much interaction there 
will be between the Curse and the vampirism?  I can think of several 
possibilities, not all of which are very pretty....

One minor nit.  Nodoka has indicated that she wanted to wait until the 
girls were married before she brought them over, and that the only 
reason she decided to go ahead was the monster's presence.

So why is she willing to have Nabiki come across, now, when there is no 
immediate danger?  You've clearly indicated that she has at least a 
moderate amount of "traditional" values, in your response about her 
views on lesbianism.  Wouldn't it be likely that she would be worried 
that Nabiki will be inclined to be too 'loose', rather than sticking 
with the same man?  I think at least a scene where she stresses the need 
to be discrete upon Nabiki would be appropriate.

--Freemage

* * *
Chris Jones - hamster@arn.net 

The Ranma 1/2 Gallery: http://cyberwheel.simplenet.com/ranma

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