Subject: Re: [FFML] [SM/El-Hazard Xover] Setsuna's Secret 01/06
From: "Ranma Al'Thor" <ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu>
Date: 10/12/1998, 11:43 PM
To: Disruptor
CC: fanfic@fanfic.com

On Sat, 10 Oct 1998, Disruptor wrote:

Here's some comments.


	In an apartment building in Crystal Tokyo a woman was walking to the
door of her home when she suddenly stumbled and almost fell.  She took a
look in a mirror that she had in the room and noticed how she looked. 
She nodded and left.  It was time to tell Queen Serenity something
important.                               

This paragraph makes it sound like looking at herself told her it was time
to give Serenity the message.


--------------------------------------------------------------------
	Sitting in a room, in the palace, the queen of Crystal Tokyo sat lost
in thought, trying to deal with the burdens of being queen.  her

Her

momentarily when she recognized Sailor Pluto.   She wondered what
disaster was about to occur.   Queen Serenity's visitor looked at her

Hehe.

	"I'll get to that in a bit.  You see Usagi I wasn't born in this 
universe.  I was born in another that was far more advanced in
technology 

line length problem here.

and durability.  One day a person from this universe, Princesses Selene
of 
Atlantis, came to my home."  Setsuna recited and then stopped looking

Came to her home in the other universe.  Right?


	"I'll be fine, Usagi.  Selene built the weapon, brought it and the 
Senshi items back to this world and built the kingdom on the moon, and 
sending others to build kingdoms on the other  planets.   She Beryl
would 
destroy the Moon Kingdom, so the weapon was activated and given the

She Beryl?


	Later in the evening, Usagi was sitting down in a chair thinking 
about what she had just learned about her friend.  She thought about 
what Setsuna had said and thought to herself, *You may have given up 
Setsuna, but I haven't.  I am going to try and find some way to free you 
from this enslavement your under.   El-Hazard? Hmmm.   I think that I 

you're under.

	Her husband looked at her and thought, *I hope you do find a way 
to free her, Usako.  I just hope their is one.  Even with this 

there 


	Sailor Mars thought, * I  wonder what's with her.  Well at least 
she finally grew up after her powers were used. *

Ahh, an interesting approach to the 900 year old Chibi problem :)


the Inners. "

Inners?"



	Speaking in a monotone voice, Ami answered, "Setsuna is a robot.  
>From my readings it appears that her source of power is some sort of 
energized spring.  Every so often she has to be wound up.   The key to 
wind her up is apparently the Garnet Orb Staff.   To put it crudely, 
Setsuna is a clockwork soldier. "

Why is Ami speaking in a monotone?


	Putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him talking, Michiru said, 
"We understand, Mamoru.  I agree that group of five stands the best 
chance of dealing with whatever comes.  Don't you agree Haruka?"

agree, Haruka?"

An interesting start.  I don't find it likely Setsuna's secret would have
taken so long to come out, but given that, it works pretty well.  


John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu       
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/

Image is nothing.  Underwear is everything.  Obey your perversion.
Happousai
--IF people tried to market Happousai... (Mike Loader's suggestion.)