| Arghh, Lack of Free Time. We hates it, my precious, we hates it forever.
| C&C Please?
Yessss... nice readersessss... wouldn't hurt poor Smeagol, would we, nice
readersesssss?
| Disclaimer: The playground is by Rumiko Takahashi, I'm only swinging on
| the monkey bars. Remember to leave the grounds cleaner than you found
| them and please don't feed the Troll.
|
| Disclaimer Part II: "The Nancy" is copyright by Stan Rogers (RIP), I'm
| only borrowing it. "Maids, When You're Young" is an Actual Folk Song,
| and is _Not_, I repeat, _Not_ My Fault.
Yes, but is it an Actual Folk Song best sung with blood alcohol levels
approaching unity? In that case, it's your fault for learning it.
| *This is a sound.*
| 'This is a thought.'
| _This is emphasis._
| {This is a sign.}
| <This is Chinese.>
This is a bad fanfic. This is a bad fanfic in its proper surroundings. (All:
WE GOT FANFIC SIIIIGN!) Any questions?
Brought to you be the Partnership for a Trash-Free Internet
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------
| Ranma & Akane: A Love Story.
| Chapter 2 :The Second Day
| Part B: Battering Pieces: Akane's Unusual Morning
Urk. You ARE aware, aren't you, of the extensively ecchi implications Mr.
OneShot Wong has managed to lend to those last two words and variations
thereof, all by his lonesome? Although you may be WANTING us to think that,
hmm?
| A long established residential district in Nerima, somewhat later
| in the morning, just after dawn. Birds twitter and sing in melodic
| glee at the possibilities of a new day, matching the mood of antici-
| pation present in one member of the household living at the old-fash-
| ioned building with the big sign out front (the big sign that said
| "Tendo Dojo", of course).
Actually, if the big sign said "Tendo Dojo", Azaka and Kamidake would be
stopping by to check on their long-lost brother. Sister. Whatver.
Yes, I know putting it any other way would sound awkward. But this story is
happy silly fun fun! (apologies and thanks to Stefan Gagne)
Except when it's not. Which is not now, so why bother?
| It could not be said that Akane was normally the type of girl to
| indulge in random destruction as a form of stress relief. She indulged,
| generally speaking, in _highly specific_ and _exactly targeted_
| destruction as a form of stress relief.
Someone's been taking writing lessons from Pratchett-sempai again...
| Even considering this fact,
| however, the presence of a number of columns of cinder blocks, set at
| various intervals around the practice hall's floor must be considered
| slightly unusual.
Hmm. Comma after "floor", methinks.
| What was even more unusual, from a theoretical observer's viewpoint,
| however, was that Akane was not immediately preparing to destroy them.
My god, this IS an alternate universe! (Manga Volume Numero Uno. Akane. Jog.
Cinderblocks. Smash.)
| Instead, she was practicing a complex and intricate kata, almost a
| shadow-dance, around, between, over and beside them.
Might want to set off that shadow-dance bit with dashes - rather like this
meaningless comment - instead of commas.
| A kata that seemed
| to involve defeating an imaginary set of enemies while at the same time
| avoiding attack proximity of the cinder block piles.
Erm. Cinder blocks can't attack, necessarily. Unless someone pushes them
over, or unless someone's been playing fast and loose with the Variyah Tea.
P'raps it'd be better just to say she was staying well clear of the cinder
blocks, as if they were attackers.
| Finally, seeming to
| draw to a peak, the kata concluded with a flurry of activity that wove
| and spun through the piles of concrete, destroying each in turn.
It MOVED and spun, certainly. And that one gerund in there doesn't feel
quite right. "Finally, the kata reached its peak, concluding with a flurry
of activity..."
But maybe that's just me.
| For a moment after the kata's conclusion, Akane remained poised in the
| attitude of her finishing blow, her eyes intent and focussed on some-
| thing far away.
Is this one of those color/colour things? I know it as spelled "focused".
| Then she relaxed and surveyed the destruction, somewhat
| in the manner of one who, having just endured more than a year of grind-
| ing discomfort and frustration, has just been released, metaphorically
| speaking, from bondage.
If you want the effect of the somewhat smug nature-host slash Great Gonzo,
you'll want to hook all these clauses, preceding and prior, into one big
honkin' sentence. And change the bits that follow to "while - and at the
same time - finding"
| While, at the same time, finding a much-desired
| friend, a much-admired mentor, and much-needed help.
|
| Likewise in the manner of one who has, shortly thereafter, undergone
| an only-partially-favorable appraisal of her main life skill, an agoniz-
| ing reappraisal of her chosen career goals, and a the strangest evening
| of her 17 years of life. Not even to mention a total reassessment of her
| most basic morality, and a reexamination of her honor. Followed by a
| truly momentous decision: the first, depending on how you look at it,
| of her adult life.
Hmm. You really want this to be a paragraph in itself? Seems to continue the
ideas of the previous one just fine to me...
| Which is, of course, exactly what she was. And which is also why,
| after having, in a manner of speaking, cleared the air, she nodded
| firmly, and dusted her hands. And went in, whistling, to breakfast. It
| was a new day, after all, and she was eager, for the first time in a
| very long time, to begin it.
This is one of those "fun to read" passages. Particularly if you were in the
business of reading prose aloud for three years and have gotten rather good
at lending inflection and attitude to the words.
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| Tendo Nabiki, of that same address, was also eager for the day to
| begin. Not because she had undergone a great and sweeping change of
| life, but rather because she too had received something she had not had
| in a long time: a challenge.
Insert Evil Villain laugh number 23.
| She had been scored on. _She_ had been scored on.
'Round here, "scored on" implies second if not third base, B to C for you
Japanese culture aficionados. Perhaps you're looking for swindled, duped,
out-thought, outmaneuvered... hmm, like that last one.
| Her actions antici-
| pated, her _pocket_ _picked_, of all the silly things.
This is where Kitsune comes in, ne?
| And yet, and yet
| ... it had been done with, with ... _style_, and grace.
Hmm. Perhaps "with... _style_. And grace." If you want the whole pausing
effect to keep going, I THINK that's how you'd word it.
Awfully hard to translate what the words sound like in your head into
punctuation marks, isn't it?
| Not in such a
| way as to damage her reputation or smear her honor (indeed, she had,
| the household had, profited tremendously).
Again, dashes setting off "the household had". I think.
| And _then_ this same person,
| this same barbarian grotesque, had turned around and not only helped
| her little sister, helped her family, tremendously, but had also turned
| over a small fortune entirely for Akane's use! And for a new wardrobe,
| for the purpose of, of all things, 'helping her Art'!
Having an 18th or so century mindset will do that to a person.
Hmm. Hold up. If Ranma's spent the last while back in feudal Japan or
something close to it, how's he know the current exchange rates?
Wait. Newspaper, probably. But if he's got a mindset as to the approximate
value of the yen...
Well, he IS a martial artist. Body and mind perfectly controlled and like
that there.
| How had it happened (she still had no details that she trusted)?
Might want to make THAT particular parenthetical comment into its own
sentence, after the question.
| _Why_ had she done it? And what would she do next? And how would she,
| Nabiki herself, end up relating to this Bushiko Ranma? For the first
| time in her life, she realized, the decision might not be in her hands.
Ooh. Nab-chan is scared.
| And what of Ranma, herself? What secrets did she hold? Who was she,
| really? And how had she gotten that way?
I think me the reader is also waiting to find out. We can learn TOGETHER!
Won't it be fun, Kiyone?
...where'd that come from?
| Oh, my, yes, a challenge, in
| all senses of that word. A challenge she was eager to take on. A
| challenge she was eager to measure herself against, a challenge she
| was eager to grow with. For her, too, a stretching of her capabilities
| was a thing that had not happened in a very long time.
Her piddling little empire hasn't met the yakuza, then, I take it.
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| And this is an apartment last seen by moonlight, now stretching
| drowsily in the pale illumination of a Tokyo dawn. The furnishings have
| changed slightly: the sword stand is empty now, the silver bowl is gone.
| In the place of the silver bowl, centered in the faint light of dawn
| now invading through the window, a wide platen of burnished, red gold.
Perhaps the platen sits in place of the silver plate. But leaving it there
without a verb to stand on seems fairly awkward, at least to me.
| Above it, resting on a stand of braided bronze wire, a pair of rings.
Hmm. Scratch that verb thing, you're going for effect, aren't you? Still,
I'm used to having my verbs stated rather than implied.
| Carved from dark, emerald jade, with the very faintest tracery of inter-
| locking ideograms, made in mirror images of each other. Beside and
| between them, a pair of interlocking shells of thinly braided copper
| wire, the inner halves linked by golden chains.
You've got a picture of these somewhere. I hope someone close to you or even
you yourself can draw them... I'd like to actually SEE them, as opposed to
bending my mind every which way but lose to settle on something definite.
| Above, the diagram of light has been redrawn. Now shafts of pale
| dawn light seem to twist and intertwine, forming a disc about 2 feet
| wide. Within the pattern of the disc, intertwined with light and shadow
| in a fashion that would make M. C. Escher delirious with jealousy,
| stands a single ideogram in a chinese temple shorthand so ancient that
| even the memory of the name of the style it is written in has been lost.
| Had he so desired, Ranma could have informed an interested scholar that
| the ideogram's meaning was critically interlinked with the style in
| which it was written, a style to which it had given its own name:
| Phoenix Dragon.
Now THAT's an impressive moniker.
| In the corner of the main room behind the now opened bathroom door,
| in that portion of the room farthest from sunlight, now stands a small
| bamboo tray-table. On it is an iron stand, bearing a velvet curtain all
| around that can be closed to keep the contents from any betraying
| hint of sunlight. Within, shining with a light of it's own, a complex
| assembly of leaded glass and silver rod.
Its own. Not it's own. And you're doing that implied verb thing again. I
understand what you're TRYING to do here, but it gets to me. Even though it
probably shouldn't, it gets to me.
| Alembics bubble with a pale,
| luminescent liquid, coils of glass transport glowing beads of pastel
| light up to roiling curcurbits, swirling with the colors of a mad,
| muted rainbow; from which strait tubes emerge to close on a central
| point to empty onto a silver funnel.
First, no semicolon; a comma will suffice. Second, I think the tubes are
straight, not strait. Third... perhaps saying the tubes emerge, closing on
one central point which empties onto (or should that be INTO?) a silver
funnel. The way it's worded just strikes me wrong, I suppose.
| Drops of liquid, palely silver,
| roll down the funnel to drip onto the top of a peachwood rod, carven
| with writhing dragons going into and out of caves, down which a silver
| lined spiral path leads the glowing liquid, reduced micron by micron,
| to a glass collecting bowl connected to the alembics in a continuous
| circular procession.
I think the rod's carved with dragons. Not carven... carven is more of a
stand-alone adjective than one which introduces a string of descriptors. And
this whole thing is essentially an alchemical version of a reflux condensor?
Or are the drops moving in a circular procession, meaning the bowl is not
connected to the alembics in a circular procession? I think the liquid's
flowing down the rod in a circular procession, not the latter, which implies
the whole process is... well, I can't call it anything less technical than a
refulx condenser.
Oh, and I think you can hyphenate "silver-lined".
| Now from the open bathroom door comes a cloud of steam, followed by
| a topless, towel wrapped figure, still engaged in toweling dry her
| scarlet braid.
"towel-wrapped". I think.
| Striding firmly to the closet, Ranma drapes the towel
| over the pink and blue, feminine dragon tattoo, that winds around
| her shoulders and torso, passant regardant, dryly looking over its own
| sinuous shoulder to regard whatever might lie beyond.
I think you can lose the commas around "feminine dragon tattoo". And you may
want to emphasize FEMININE, or you may not.
| Then, dropping the towels from shoulders and hips, Ranma stands
| briefly nude (_down_ Hentais, down I say! You've seen as much many times
| before in the manga)
Hai. Ranma strips with alarming regularity.
| before donning boxers, and a stretchy chest wrap
| that serves her as a sports bra.
Lose the comma after "boxers".
| Following these with her usual loose
| pants, silk shirt and slippers, she tops them off with her leather
| bomber jacket, placing a wide variety of implements inside in places
| that do not seem capable of holding them.
Hmm. Mousse's great-great-grand-sensei giving Ranma a few pointers?
| Lastly, a bound into the kitchen, brief swipe across the counter,
| grabbing the bento and briefcase thereon, bound to the far corner,
| twitch the curtain closed, glide to the chest, check the alignment of
| the rings held above the brazen bowl. Watch now as a bead of light
| splits into at the top of the diagram and runs fluidly around the
| circumference, left and right.
Splits into... two, right?
| Watch it merge at the bottom. Watch it
| fairly leap across space to pass through the rings and splash into the
| bowl. Watch the drop spread into a small pool, fizzling energetically.
| Watch it bathe the rings from below, evaporating as it does so. Watch
| the next drop splash before it vanishes completely. Watch the pool
| spread a little farther, last a little longer. See Ranma examine her
| handiwork and smile.
What the heck ARE these things, anyway?
Wait, don't tell me... Ranma seduced Urd and got her hands on the universal
source code for Jusenkyo.
| Watch her look up, and through the diagram hanging in mid-air in
| the dawn's slowly gathering light.
I think you want "up and through" to be continuous and unbroken.
| See her eyes go distant, as though
| lost in dreams, or fears, or memories. But dreams fade in daylight,
| and fears wither away. And memories don't always bring back that which
| is looked for. And Ranma turns, and glides out the door, locking it
| behind her. And bounds down the staircase and out the maison's front
| door. And, taking to the rooftops, moves straightly and quickly towards
| her rendezvous. It's a new day, after all, wouldn't do to be late.
| Wouldn't do at all.
Is "straightly" even a word?
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| Yakubi Ryouken felt, in his heart of hearts, that everything in the
| world which was wrong with his life was the fault of his name (with
| some justification, it can be translated as "Bad-luck Day Hound"). In
| fact, he would not even answer to the hated words unless extremely
| pressed, preferring, somewhat ironically, the sobriquet of Daken ("Cur"
| or "Mongrel") instead. Complaining about his names was, in fact,
| normally one of the two overriding occupations of his life (the other
| being the worship of his Japanese-Nationalistic divine heredity, and
| the concomitant despite he felt for anything remotely foreign).
Lemme introduce y'all to a guy, first name of Taro. Last name? Well son,
last person who asked him that might make it out of intensive care alive.
| Pressed against Furinkan's wall, just inside the gate, however, he
| was not currently capable of indulging in either one. This was primar-
| ily due to the presence of another occupation instead, he was hating
| the redheaded bitch.
Hmm. P'raps a semicolon after "occupation". Or... "in either one, due to the
presence of another, newer occupation: he was hating"
| He had woken up, naked amidst the ruins of his gang, very late the
| previous night. He had spent the hours since seeking out the identity
| of the bitches who had taken him by surprise, and taken his clothes and
| cash as well. 'Plus which', he snarled to himself for the thousandth
| time, 'I loved my Tagamotchi-chan, I'd kept him alive for two weeks,
| *snff*, and the bitch _sold_ him, sold him like a slave.'
Uh-huh. I think our boy here is a few noodles short of a bowl of ramen, if
you know what I mean.
By the way, I laughed A LOT when I read that.
| But he had her now, oh yes. She couldn't surprise him _now_, and
| he'd picked up a number of fine Japanese-Nationalistic students the
| barbarian whore had humiliated the day before, too. Soon, she'd come
| through the gate and then, then she'd get a surprise of her own!
Hmm. Perhaps an ellipsis after the first "then".
And this surprise is going to be that there are people mind-numbingly stupid
enough to serve as targets of humiliation not once but twice?
| And then he _would_ see if she was a natural redhead,
Gonna pull her hair out by the roots, mebbe?
| teach her what
| a _real_ man was like! 'Bitch's gotta learn her place!'
Oh. I don't like him very much, do you folks?
| And no-one else would interfere, he'd seen to that!
"Seen"? As in past tense? Or he WOULD see to that?
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| And this is a street, a normal street for Nerima, and down it Akane
| and Nabiki are walking on their way to school. Progressing, it should
| be noted, in the normal, or common, fashion, which is to say, on the
| ground. And flanking this common street is a common rooftop, belonging
| to a common business; and along this rooftop Ranma is progressing, in
| an _un_common fashion, which is to say, in bouncing leaps, 5 to 10
| yards long.
Part of being a martial artist is never having to say "I'm sorry" when you
break the law of gravity.
| It would not be entirely fair to say that the Tendo sisters were
| _surprised_ by Ranma's sudden appearance: they had been expecting it,
Semicolon, not colon.
| and besides, leaping from rooftops was normal compared to what they
| had already seen her do. But they were, undeniably, startled. And
| startled again by the fact that she appeared to have been, while
| blithely leaping from place to place along the skyline, _singing_.
Hmm. This is starting to remind me just a little bit of Mirrors Multiplied,
where Ranma and Iczer-Ukyo (both from alternate dimensions where they're a)
powerful as heck and b) madly in love) start leaping through the business
district on and over streetcars and such, singing showtunes all the way.
| When we sat down to Tea, hey do me harity
| When we sat down to Tea, me being young,
| When we sat down to Tea, he started teasing me,
| Maids, when you're young, never wed an old man!
|
| Finishing the verse as she settled gracefully to earth, Ranma swept
| the other girls a great bow, and fell in beside them with a warm
| greeting to Akane, and a merry one to Nabiki.
|
| "And _what_", Akane queried amusedly, "was that?"
|
| "Song, Boys, For The Teasing Of, One", Ranma smirked.
"Of Ten Million."
| "You, Bushiko Ranma, are _Evil_!"
Dr. F: Of course, boobies. I'm evil. EEEVILLLL! Gya hahaahhahahha!
| "Yes, I know. Ain't it _cool_?!"
Well, you make it seem that way, certainly.
| And they walked on toward school, and Ranma taught Akane the words,
| and Nabiki shook her head in amusement, and sighed.
|
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| Asano Sayuri shivered in terror,
Waiwai! Guest cameo forgotten character stars!
| and looked out the window of the
| second floor. She couldn't, she was too afraid, but if she didn't ....
| The man called Daken was terrifying, so cruel in appearance, and the
| threats he had made .... She wasn't a brave person, she felt, but
| someone had to warn Ranma-san! And she could see, just looking around,
| that no-one else was going to, they were all afraid of those slime who
| had _joined_ the, the _mongrel_. But that meant that no-one would help
| _her_,
Well, except for Ranma.
| and they'd know who had called out, and she wasn't a brave
| person. But ... _but_, she'd heard Ranma-san sing. And she'd seen Ranma
| -san stand up for Akane-san when no-one else would. Ranma-san, she was
| sure, would defeat these mongrels if only she was warned. But what if
| she didn't, couldn't, what then?
Then Marller is going to have to shovel her walk, that's what.
| And then she saw, coming down the street in the distance, three
| feminine figures; and discovered, suddenly, that she _was_ a brave
| person, after all.
Yay!
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| Walking down the street with Akane, Ranma felt, was one of the
| better ways to begin a school day that she had yet encountered.
Just think... if you'd shown up as a guy and done all this for her...
Hmm.
Would she have LET you do all this for her, you think?
I still can't wait to see what happens when Akane finds out the truth. Is
she going to be angry or is she going to pull a Shampoo/Ryoko/Lum out of her
hat?
By the way, how come lots of people root for Ryoko to wind up with Tenchi
and Lum to wind up with Ataru, but comparatively few people want Shampoo to
finally catch Ranma? And why is it that marrying everyone in the lawless
emptiness of space is an acceptable solution to Tenchi's problems, but
marrying multiple fiancees in the confines of Joketsuzoku where it may or
may not be legal seldom considered as a solution to Ranma's problem?
Just a few random musings...
| Akane
| had proven an apt, if somewhat embarrassed, student of "Maids, When
| You're Young", and the verbal sparring with Nabiki had kept honors
| relatively even in the opening exchanges.
|
| Despite the company and the conversation, however, a martial artist
| of Ranma's skill is never entirely inattentive to her surroundings, and
| the concentration of hostility, clumsily gathered ki, and focussed
| attention hiding just behind the wall ahead of her would have wakened
| her from the dead in any case.
Hmm. I think it's supposed to be "focused" and "awakened". Either that or
"have woken".
| "Don't change your stance", Ranma whispered sotto voce, "and keep
| walking forward. I think, Akane, that our friends from yesterday have
| grown melancholy in our absence, and have come to renew aquaintances."
I wonder how good anyone would have to be for Ranma to take them seriously.
| Nabiki controlled her reaction automatically, but nevertheless
| stiffened slightly, 'What?'
|
| Akane painted a wooden smile on her face and gripped Ranma's arm
| urgently. "Ranma, don't kill them!"
Dot (forced smile): I'm going to hurt my brother badly!
I can see this happening, and it's making me laugh.
| Ranma winked in reply, "Oh, if I had intended to kill them I'd have
| done it last night. But since they didn't learn the earlier lesson we
| taught them I think something slightly... stronger ... is in order.
| Don't you?" Steering them gently toward the center of the gate she
| continued, "Nabiki, how are you at negotiations from the superior
| position?"
|
| Nabiki frowned, "You're joking, right?"
She don't know him very well, do she?
Hmm. Is she reacting to Ranma's questioning of her abilities at negotiation,
or the very idea that this COULD be parlayed into a superior position?
| Ranma grinned again, "Just keep walking, and keep your cool." As
| they approached the gate she gathered ki for a momentary burst of
| extreme speed, and then...
|
| "_Ranma-sama, look out!!!_", a shout broke from the upper windows of
| Furinkan, and Ranma spared half a second for an exasperated silent
| curse as Daken turned furious to the school and marked the person he
| now fully intended to kill.
But, to kill someone, grasshopper, one must first be alive oneself.
| The she spent another quarter second to
| center herself as Daken cursed and lunged and the other thugs began to
| leap forward. And then she _blurred_.
"The she"? Oh, THEN she.
Blurred, hmm? Someone's been training in the Amaguriken, I see.
Hmm. What if Ranma was training with the Amazons earlier on and managed to
defeat, say, Cologne's grandmother or some such in combat? And when and if
he returns, the engagement's been passed down the family line and is still
intact?
Just a thought.
| And Akane and Nabiki walked into the suddenly quiet and still court-
| yard of Furinkan; past the statue-like forms of the various thugs,
| arrested suddenly in mid-motion and still stunned, and also quite naked,
| their only covering the brown ribbons neatly tied around their, ah, ...
| "equipment"; to where Ranma waited in the middle of the yard, next to
| a cardboard and stick seller's stand (now neatly piled with various
| items of apparel), smiling merrily and counting through the largish
| pile of cash next to the credit cards on the countertop.
Good LORD that was fast. Well, if Locke can do it, it should be a piece of
cake for Ranma.
And maybe set off that big clause with dashes or find a way to make it into
a sentence of its own.
| "Why, Ranma", Nabiki drawled archly, "there seems to be a group of
| naked boys standing about the courtyard."
"The bachelorette party is three blocks that way, gentlemen."
I'm laughing on the inside. Good stuff. Good stuff.
| "400,000 yen", Ranma said, handing half the money to a furiously
| blushing Akane, "not bad. Yes, Nabiki, I did notice that, but boys will
| be boys, you know: anything for attention."
|
| Daken snarled furiously, and began a lunge towards the girls. Ranma
| turned half around, mildly, and across 30 feet of courtyard Daken
| met her eyes.
Daken: Hello, eyes.
Eyes: ECCHI! *Mallet-sama!*
No, I know what you mean. I just felt like tossing that off.
| Blue as the deepest ocean, still and quiet as a moon-
| reflecting pool, hungry and terrible as the pregnant silence at the
| eye of a hurricane. Met them, and saw, reflected in them, himself and
| his relationship to them.
"See that coffee stain on the rug? That's you. Underneath it."
| And dived, suddenly terrified, for a small
| clump of bushes abutting the wall and about 10 feet away. Someplace he
| could hide, someplace he could die, anyplace at all, as long as he
| didn't have to see those eyes, ever, ever again.
Eyes of flame and fear, hmm?
Yes, I know no-one but hard-core AD&D fans are even going to come close to
getting that one.
| And Ranma turned back to Nabiki calmly and said, "Considering the
| penalties for indecent exposure, and the relative status of flashers
| in the prison population, though, it's extremely fortunate for them
| that you had this stall of emergency clothing ready, isn't it."
|
| "Oh, you know me", Nabiki grinned, "I always like to keep little
| things like this around, for just such an emergency. I wonder, though,
| how they're going to pay for it, considering their evident lack of
| ready cash."
|
| Ranma patted her on the shoulder as she passed by, "You're a capable
| person Nabiki, I'm sure you'll think of something." And linking arms
| with Akane and turning to her, "Ready? One, Two, Three ..." And their
| voices rose above the onlookers in song...
|
| When we went up to bed, hey do me harity
| When we went up to bed, me being young,
| When we went up to bed, he lay as if 'twer dead,
| Maids, when you're young, never wed an old man!
You know, this would be cruel if they weren't having so much fun against
such stupid people.
| And Nabiki shook her head, sadly, and turned to where the bushes
| quivered in terror, and indicated the sirens rising in the far distance
| with a wave of her hand. "Well, gentlemen, what's your feeling about
| extended negotiations at this point?"
Someone called the cops, hmm? Very nice, very nice.
| And Ranma and Akane walked up the stairs to class, singing.
|
| For he's got no Faloorum, Faleerum, Fallorum,
| For he's got no Fallorum, Faleerum, Falaay!
| He's got no Fallorum, he's lost his Ding-Doorum,
| Maids, when you're young, never wed an old man!
They're either dying of shame in them there bushes or they're about ready to
go berserk. I hope it's not the latter.
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| At lunch, Ranma and Akane sat under a small tree, conversing. Finish-
| ing her lunch, Ranma pulled out her guitar, and played tunes idly for a
| while before noticing the shy approach of one of her new classmates.
|
| "Sayuri-san, isn't it? You acted honorably this morning, thank you."
|
| Sayuri blushed, and stammered; "I couldn't, that is I, er, I...."
|
| Ranma smiled, gently, "It took bravery to call out like that. You
| must have been very frightened."
|
| Sayuri blushed harder, and looked down at her feet, "I, I wasn't
| brave. I _was_ afraid."
You know, I've heard this explained eighty-nine million times.
| Ranma grinned, "That's what bravery is about! Being afraid, and
| doing the right thing anyway. What can I do for you?"
Eighty-nine million and one, now.
| "Um, well, I just wondered ... about the song you were playing? It
| seemed so ... ferocious?"
|
| "Oh, well", Ranma grinned, "that song is from Canada, originally. I
| translated it. And yeah it is a tad ferocious. Would you to hear it?"
|
| "Um, yes."
|
| "I'd like to hear it too, Ranma", Akane chimed in. And Ranma raised
| her voice and sang.
This is more like "Ranma 1/2: The Musical" than the self-styled chapter in
Mirrors Multiplied could ever hope to be. The songs here pop out for a
definite reason. And have rational instrumental accompaniment to them as
well.
<Sa-nip da song>
Now that was funny and fitting.
| "Heh ... Definitely catchy, Ranma-san", Nabiki walked up. "Which
| reminds me ..."
|
| "Yee-ees?"
|
| "Why _brown_ ribbons?"
|
| "Well, after all, Nabiki-san", Ranma's eyes glinted mischief, "You
| only get a _white_ ribbon if you get an honorable mention."
|
| After which, the students of Furinkan High were treated to an unpre-
| cedented sight: Tendo Nabiki, leaning against the wall of the school
| building, clutching her ribs desperately, laughing her head off.
...I don't get it.
Actually, I think I get it. And if it's the dimensional joke I think it
is...
GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| In the Girl's changing rooms, later, a minor confrontation was under-
| way. The sensei of Phys-Ed, having decided that Ranma qualified under
| the "Advanced" curriculum,
Actually, she qualifies under the "Son Goku" curriculum.
| had run head-on into a wall of polite
| intransigence. Finally, she battered down the defenses with an appeal
| to school honor. If Ranma did not wear the gym uniform, she reasoned,
| the other students would be disgraced.
|
| Finally, Ranma had, reluctantly, agreed. Therefore she was preparing
| to change into the shorts and t-shirt which Furinkan girls wore on the
| field. This had been an object of some speculation among the girls
| (and boys, of course) since it afforded a look at her bodily configur-
| ation, and promised another, better one later.
Of course, anyone who's peeping is cruising for a pair of bobby pins
somewhere slightly outside of between the eyes.
| It wasn't what they had expected. The thin, white lines of many scars
| on arms and legs were definitely not what the girls of class 2-F felt
| should have been hidden under Ranma's jacket and pants, much less the
| broad, raised scar across her voice-box. The boxers and chest-wrap were
| likewise odd, but it was the dragon tattoo peeking out from under
| her wrap that drew the most attention.
So she's been sliced up something fierce and tattooed by a genius who
apparently used magical ink.
| Finally, as the designated activity for this class was soccer, came
| the most dreaded activity in sports: Choosing sides. Needless to say,
| everyone wanted to be on Ranma's side, and no-one wanted to be on the
| other side. Finally, a sotto voce suggestion from one of the more
| horrified class members caused the sides to be chosen as follows:
| Side A: Bushiko Ranma; Side B: Everyone Else.
You know, this is vaguely reminiscent of a certain Simpsons occurence.
| "We ought to set an upper limit of goals", Ranma suggested sardonic-
| ally, "Set an instant win at 12 or so. The sides are so outmatched
| that I'm sure that level will be reached quickly, and we wouldn't want
| to overly embarrass anyone."
Using the royal we, are we now, Ranma-chan?
| The suggestion was passed by acclamation, the teams took the field,
| and the whistle blew. And, just as Ranma had predicted, it was over
| quickly. The score was Ranma:12, Everyone Else:0, in just under 3
| minutes. After that, by acclamation, they did something else, instead.
Lesse, fifteen seconds a goal... well, I'll admit the banana kick-to-bicycle
shot combo LOOKED mighty impressive, but three times in a row was just
overkill.
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| In the showers, after the lambasting, a chuckling Ranma congratulated
| Sayuri on a difficult gymnastics move as she pulled her braid back and
| looked up into the shower spray. Unfortunately, the heat of the water
| caused her skin to flush, particularly on her torso, where the Dragon
| seemed to preen under the heated spray.
Hmm. So the dragon wakes up when the curse goes on?
| The flush had the effect of throwing her scars into sharp relief,
| and Ranma paused as she noted Sayuri's horrified gaze, fixed on her
| right breast, where the pale line of an old scar bisected her aureole.
| Ranma looked down, blushed, and shook her head, "The problem with my
| lifestyle over the past several years is that it has thrown me far too
| often into the company of rude strangers with sharp objects."
Heh. Understatement of the Year, Liftetime Achievement Award candidate.
| And she shrugged, and smiled weakly, and went back to her shower.
| And Akane, behind her, narrowed her eyes speculatively and nodded, as
| though a decision had been confirmed. And then they all went back to
| class, looking forward to music, and the end of the school day beyond.
|
| -----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| Coming next. Part C Crumbling Stone, A Duet for Wind and Fire.
| Early next week, same FFML time, Same FFML channel.
|
| Eric Hallstrom hallcon@mindspring.com
I, for one, will find it hard to wait.
--G. Falconar