Waiting for Minako
by DDFA (Mark A Page)
Part Ten - Existentialism, Surrealism, Post-Modernism, Dadaism,
Cynicism, Neo-Classicism and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
(Thanks goes to Jon Carp for the title inspiration ^_^)
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Scene: A beach, supposedly somewhere in Hawaii (it has not been
confirmed by our agents). The beach is empty, save for the figures
of two young women, lying back on beach towels, dressed in the kind
of extremely skimpy swimsuits that would normally classify this fic
as rampant fanservice. But since most of what you're imagining Ami
and Makoto to look like is occurring in your mind, and not here,
then I have only one thing to say to you....
Sukebe.
Both Ami and Makoto look extremely bored as they stare at the sky,
wondering, briefly, how Haruka and Michiru are doing, waiting in
Tokyo in their place.
Ami: I've always wanted to know....
Makoto: What?
Ami: Ever since that episode with Haruka and all that....
Makoto: What? Come on, what?
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: Do you prefer margarine to butter?
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Makoto gets up from her towel and starts running around the beach,
freaking out. Ami watches her, passively.
Ami: Do you really have to make so much noise?
Makoto: Oh, fer chrissakes! What did you have to ask me THAT
for?
Ami: Well, every fanboy I know wants to know the answer....
Incipient homosexual tendencies. Lack of boyfriend.
Constant harping about previous relationships and all.
I mean, I've been wanting to know for years.
Makoto falls flat on her back, on the sand, sweatdropping. Ami
turns away from her and stares back up at the sky.
Makoto: I thought it has been made clear, time and time again,
that I am NOT a lesbian. Understand.... I am
heterosexual as the day is long.
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: Ah, so you turn into a lesbian when the sun goes down?
Makoto: Of, fer Chrissakes! I am NOT a lesbian. Geddit?
Ami: .....
Makoto: Geddit?
Ami: Got it.
Makoto: Good.
Ami: Repressed homosexual tendencies.... Definitely next on
the list of anime characters to be outed....
Makoto: What did you say?
Ami: Oh, nothing, nothing.
Ami makes a note in a small black book, and immediately hides it
underneath her towel as Makoto comes tromping back.
Makoto: You know.... It's strange how there's nobody else on
this beach.
Ami: So?
Makoto: Well, it's such a NICE beach, on such a NICE day....
One would have thought there'd be hundreds of people
here, jostling for position.
Ami: Must be an off day.
Makoto: Some off day. I'm REALLY beginning to wonder where we
are, now....
Ami: Why question such things when nothing is going wrong?
Makoto: I've just got a weird feeling....
Ami: You should NEVER eat the fish on the plane.... How many
times do I have to tell you....
Makoto: No.... It's something else.... Like we're being
watched....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: Must be all those people out there.
Makoto: What people?
Ami: Out there.
Ami points towards the readers of this fic. Makoto stares in the
direction she is pointing, but shakes her head.
Makoto: I can't see anything.
Cut to an opposing view. Ami turns and points in that direction.
Ami: Ah, they're over there, now.
Makoto turns with her, squinting. Cut to the original view. Ami
turns once more, smiling.
Ami: Nope. Looks like they think that's our best side.
Makoto looks down at Ami, then falls to her knees on her towel.
Makoto: I think you've had too much sun.
Ami: You can never have too much sun.... If skin cancer is
your thing.
Makoto: Now I KNOW you've had too much sun.
Ami: Come to think of it, I am feeling a little strange.
Makoto: Do you get the feeling we're being watched?
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: Actually, yes, I do.... Kinda kinky, isn't it?
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: You're just hoping it's some desperate pervert, since
you're normally hopeless with men.
Ami: At least I had Urawa-kun.... All you ever did was
whinge and whine about an illusory long lost senpai....
Makoto: Was NOT illusory. He REALLY existed.
Ami: Oh yeah? Prove it.
Makoto: How can I? We're on a beach in the middle of nowhere.
Ami: Hawaii.
Makoto: What?
Ami: We're on a beach in Hawaii.... It's not the middle of
nowhere.... Technically speaking.
Makoto: Are you so sure? Are you so sure that this IS Hawaii?
Ami: Can you prove to me that you really DID have a
boyfriend?
Makoto: No.
Ami: Well, I can't prove that this is Hawaii, either.
Makoto: Then we're really in the middle of nowhere, after
all....
Ami: Stop getting paranoid.
Makoto: I'm NOT getting paranoid.
Ami: Of course you are. If we aren't in Hawaii, where are
we?
Makoto: We could be.... in ANTARCTICA.
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE ANTARCTICA TO YOU?
Makoto: No.
Ami: Well, by process of elimination, taking into account the
fact that it is almost 100 degrees in the sun, it is
humid and that we are definately NOT freezing our butts
off whilst wearing these oh so SKIMPY swimsuits, you
could, just possibly, conceive that this is not, in the
slightest way possible, Antarctica.
Makoto: It could be out of season....
Ami: I don't really think that would make much difference, do
you think?
Makoto: No.... I was just clutching at straws.
Ami: Pretty damn thin straws, if you ask me.
Makoto: Hey, it was a nice idea at the time.
Ami: Look.... This is Hawaii.... No ifs, no buts, okay?
Makoto: Could be far north Queensland.
Ami: WHAT?
Makoto: Gotta be careful in far north Queensland.... They
inbreed them differently, up there....
Ami: What ARE you talking about?
Makoto: Never mind.
Ami: I should think so, too.... And you're thinking of
Tasmania.... On a good day....
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: I wonder how Haruka and Michiru are going....
Ami: Yes, might be interesting to see....
Scene: By the wall in Tokyo. Haruka has finished cutting Godot up
into a hundred little pieces and dumping them over the other side of
the wall. Michiru looks on with distaste.
Michiru: That's going to smell in time.
Haruka: Would you have rathered listen to his stories?
Michiru: Better than listening to Setsuna whine about her beloved
Endymion when she's drunk one too many Sapporo
Lagers....
Haruka: Hmph.... Is it any wonder the Philadelphia Experiment
went wrong....
END OF PART 10
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Will Minako ever arrive? Are Ami and Minako really on a beach in
Far North Queensland (queue banjoes), have Haruka and Michiru really
turned Godot into sushi, or is it just a figment of their
imaginations. See the next action packed, exciting and riveting
chapter of the enthralling wait by Ami and Makoto in "Waiting For
Minako". Brought to you by Sydney Water, where Giardia and
Cryptospiridium are just a glassful away.... ^_^
_________
/ @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page)
/ / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@merlin.net.au
/</ w \>\ Chief Propoganda Officer, Keeper of
\/ \/ the Tapes and Co-Founder of the Saitou-chan
\___________/ Appreciation Society - Adelaide Japanese
/_/ \_\ PU Animation Society
^_^ ^_^ ADELAIDE CROWS FOOTBALL CLUB - AFL CHAMPIONS 1998 ^_^ ^_^
Version 1.22485372947854 b - Monday September 26th 1998