Hey Gary,

Liked this chapter, better than any of the previous ones.  I think it 
shows that you, more than many, many, other writers keep the Ranma crew 
IC when writing...  The 'proposal' scene is a great example.

Ranma turned away, looking down on the floor. That had been the
wrong thing to say.

"I'm... sorry... I didn't mean... I just meant that... if *you*
don't mind... then I don't."

"Really?" Ranma turned hesitantly back toward Akane.

Big romantic moment?

Close enough.

That scene had me laughing really hard.  It serves as a perfect 
counter-point to all the WAFFy, completely OOC Ranma and Akane match ups 
that get written.  In my mind, this is the way it would happen.  I 
really don't see them declaring their undying love for each other any 
time soon.

"So, what do you think?" The owner was a pretty young woman of
about thirty who said her name was Yukari. Her grandfather, she said,
had founded Romance Villa when he was young, nearly a hundred years 
ago.

This seems very familiar for some reason.  Didn't RT write a manga story 
about some woman you ran a wedding chapel?

Day after day, Akane did what was required of her. Day after
day, a star would be added to the piece of paper, and her parents 
would tell her how wonderfully she was doing. She loved the >attention 

she got.

Until one day. No more praise. No more stars.

No more mother.

-Very- nice scene here.  

"Fine, whatever," Ranma grumbled. "I don't really care whether
you train or not, y'know!"

Akane kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Ranma. I appreciate
that." She walked out, leaving behind a very confused fiance.

Wow, I'm surprised that they're already that intimate, dispite the fact 
that they're getting married.  Ah well, my biases are showing again. 

Kasumi turned, nearly blushing with embarrassment. "Oh, I'm
sorry, Father! I only put up those buildings because I thought the >red 

color went well with the green!"

LOL!

Not that that mattered. There were certain things that a guy had
to do. Akane wouldn't understand. Sometimes Koichi felt like even he
himself didn't understand

Okay, I understand why you brought Koichi into the story, it was a nice 
way getting Akane on towards maturity, but why the paragraphs of 
detailed description on him?  Or is he another cameo from another 
series? 

Suddenly, Kaede got a good look at the diminutive sensei.
"Happy?"

"Huh?" Happosai turned, then gaped in shock. "YOU?!"

"Happy!" Anger crept onto Kaede's face. "How dare you chase
after these women? You promised to marry ME!"

Even though Kaede is your own creation, I'd say you went OOC here, no 
one, I repeat, no one, would want to marry happosai.

It -was- a funny scene, though.

Mousse stood up as his gaze panned over, to Ranma, who glared at
him with extreme hostility. Wet. And female. "Um... oops," Mousse >said 

feebly.

"Oh my. I'll get some hot water," Kasumi said.

LOL!  Of course, it just had to happen...

Anyway, no problems here Gary, I thought it was great!  Looking forward 
to seeing this thing get underway!  

-Anand


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