Seeing a Ranma/DB-xo, I really *had* to comment. ^_^

A bit roughly written, at least the later parts. 'tis not very
descriptive or so, but then I guess the more direct approach works
better in this case.

At any rate, you've managed to cross Ranma and Dragonball *without*
messing around with the power levels, and still managed to get a
story that's both believable (well, provided you can accept either
of those series themselves as believable) and interesting.

All in all, good work, DC; looking forward to see where this one goes!

	Vejita grinned.  Most people that have witnessed this grin and have
survived after seeing it, number less than a dozen.  That girl's ki was

Erm. Does that mean only schizophreniacs with more than twelve
personalities die after seeing the grin? ^_- The tense is wrong, too.

"The people who had witnessed this grin and survided after seeing it
numbered less than a dozen."

her.  However, she sensed that unlike Happosai, Pan was still holding

that, unlike

back reserve energy.  Just how much ki did this little girl have?  Ranma
quickly went over her options as Pan continued to power up.  She still
hadn't been able to grasp even a tenth of what Pan was capable of yet. 

A horridly bad-sounding sentence - but actually, just removing "yet"
makes it suddenly much better.

	Pan grinned as she rushed Ranma.  Still not up to her full potential

Ranma, still

	Ranma's eyes widened as Pan suddenly disappeared.  No, not
disappeared.  Pan was moving faster than her senses could detect.  A

The "her" here is a bit unclear since Pan is mentioned just a few
words earlier.

slight rise in 'kill' ki gave enough warning for her body to
instinctively raise her arms.  The blow came next could have been

blow that came

described only as a punch thrown by Ryoga.  A dozen Ryoga's to be

Ryogas

exact.  She felt a trail of blood form at the edge of her lips as her
body involuntarily coughed.

This really had me confused - "huh? why's Pan bleeding?" - before I
realized what was going on.

	Pan stopped midway into her attack as she saw Ranma reel from her
punch.  Oops.  She had powered up much too high for Ranma to be able to
handle it.  She frowned as she tried to think of another way to handle

IMO, sounds smoother if you dump "to be able to handle it", and
it makes sense anyway.

	Pan stared in shock as Ranma started to levitate.  Albeit very wobbly,
but levitate nonetheless.  If she didn't know for a fact that her mother
also learned how to fly in one day, she would have though this girl

thought

	With a burst of ki, Ranma flung herself at Pan.  She had immediately
figured how draining on ki, flying would be for someone with her lower

figured out

actually, no pause between "ki" and "flying"; but to avoid confusion
you might want to change it to "ki-draining".

level of power.  She figured she had only a few minutes of flight before

figured-figured

it would totally drain her, so opted to make the most of it. 

"so she opted" or possibly "and so, opted to"

	Pan groaned as she picked herself up.  The ground felt very uneven. 
Looking down she quickly found out why.  An unconscious Ranma was
underneath her.  She tried to recall what exactly happened.  Ranma
yelling something and raising a fist.  The world spinning around and
around making her dizzy.  Ranma jumping into the tornado and holding
her.  And then nothing.  Ranma had saved her.  "Quick get me a wash
cloth!"

Quick, get

	Her grandfather's students immediately fell over themselves rushing to
fulfill her command.  Pan grabbed the first offering that was at hand
and barely noticed the hotness of the cloth.  She dabbed lightly at the
girl's forehead.  Still not waking up, she took some more water from a

Erm. "She" is the actor of that sentence, and "she" is already awake.

Try something like "As she still did not wake up, Pan took".

kettle nearby.  Her hasty actions caused the kettle to overturn directly
onto Ranma.

	The gods were laughing that day.  Well actually, Dende, Namek God of
the Heavens was the only one that was watching.  But, he was laughing.

"But he *was* laughing."

	Vejita walked up to the boy still lying on the ground unmoving. 
Transformation.  He hadn't been aware that humans could transform. 
Perhaps this bore looking into.  "He had wasted too much ki before hand,

beforehand

so couldn't protect himself against the crash very well.  A dunk in the
regeneration tank in Capsule Corp. maybe in order."

might be

	Pan felt the presence of Vejita and noticed his interest in Ranma.  She
watched as he picked the boy up and then started to fly away with him. 
She quickly followed after them.  The crash must have damaged something

him, following them quickly.

in her mind.  For a minute there, she had thought she had seen concern

mind - for


---
Ronny Hedin, thark@hem2.passagen.se, http://nabiki.newberry.edu/thark/
        "So, they aren't extraterrestials?"
        "Nope, they're manga characters who've lost their hair."
        (the unexpected end of X-files)