[insert standard use-of-Ranmaverse disclaimers here]

On the theory that writing spamfics can help cure writers' block...
(Yes, the crossover I've been hinting at *will* be coming, but only
after I get its plot to the point where *I* think it is better than
average.)

(Apologies if this is a re-send; from my end, it looks like my first
attempt to send this never made it to the list.)

******

*DING-DONG*

"I'll open it for five yen."

Sparing a glance of concern for Nabiki, Kasumi opened the Tendo
residence's door.  "Can I help you?"

"Hello..."

"Oh, my!"  Kasumi dashed to the kitchen, looking for her meat cleaver.
When she failed to immediately find it, she called out, "Ranma, can you
give me some help?  There's a New Character at the door."

Ranma bolted down the stairs, charging up a ki ball as he moved.
Midway to the door, though, he tripped, and flew over the extremely
generic newcomer.  He landed in the koi pond, only to have his ki ball
blow him out just after his change.

Soun burst into tears.

Panda-form Genma held up a sign, reading, "Hmm."  He flipped it over to
show, "Omnipotent Otaku Martial Arts.  I haven't seen that style
since...oh, yesterday at least.  A very powerful form, indeed."

Akane stepped into view, then blushed at the newcomer.  "You're cute.
Want to go on a date?"

Ranma staggered back in.  "What about me, Akane?"

"Ranma no baka!"

Ranma exited courtesy of Air Mallet, barely missing Ryoga.

"Ranma, I have seen HELL because of you!"  Ryoga folded his arms.  "And
I mean it, this time!  How you tricked my instincts into thinking you
were below me, I may never know.  I dug with my Breaking Point
Technique for hours, until coming upon a vast, flaming cavern."

Ranma blinked.  "How'd you get back here?"

"Goskungi's summonings finally worked, although I think the devils were
just using it as an excuse to send me away...something about depression
based weapons leading to riots among the lost souls."

The gleam of a well-polished bokken announced another arrival.  "So, the
vile sorceror Saotome now turns his friends into the minions of Satan?
Woe is me, for my constant exposure to his evil forestalls this
discovery from surprising me in the slightest.  I shall dispatch you
forthwith, so that I might resume my noble glory as the Blue..."

Ryoga and Ranma used his speech to line up twin uppercuts, which they
unleashed simultaneously.  "Goodbye, Tatewaki!" they chorused.

Four more figures converged on the scene.

"Ohohohohoho, only the manly Ranma could beat up my brother like that."

"Leave airen alone, insane ribbon girl!"

"Both of you hussies, leave my Ranma alone!"

"Sweeto!"

Five shrieks accompanied Happousai's lightning-fast glomps, the most
indignant of which was Ryoga's.  It was also the shortest as Happosai
only brushed him en route to Ranma, but Happosai's sheer perversion
still left Ryoga feeling surprised and violated from even that brief
contact.

"Hansen!"  Azusa crushed Happosai in a grip of iron, then wondered why
her new, not-quite-as-cute-as-the-rest-but-it-would-do doll struggled
briefly in her grasp before going quite limp, and why everyone was
looking at her as if she had just killed someone.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Ranma snuck back to the newcomer,
noting the glances Akane was sending him.  "So, steal MY fiancee, will
you?"  Ranma footswept the newcomer, bouncing him hard enough off the
ground to send him on trajectory for Low Earth Orbit.

As he sailed into the sky, Gnu Kharak Ter finished his question.
"...is this the Juuban district?"