For the few who read my status report, and for the fewer who are reading
that AND this, no, I didn't switch priorities. This is what I had done.
I was originally going to post it in one big chunk, but decided to throw
it out in pieces. Might as well get a bit of feedback before I create
another monstority.
C&C, Flames, Rants, Hatemail, Lovemail, Snailmail, E-mail, MST's all
welcome... It at least tells me that people are paying some attention
to me... *Sniff*
=======================
Michael Won <skeezy5@geocities.com>
=======================
Shanghai 1/2- A Ranma/Casablanca X-Over
by skeezy5
=======================
Ranma 1 / 2 etc. all belong to Rumiko Takahashi...
Casablanca belongs to the wonderful people who made it...
=======================
Part I - Ucchan's
*So, the idiot's finally decided to stop showing off and land that
thing.* Nabiki shields her eyes as the fighter turns for its final
approach vector. It buckles a bit under the heavy winds from the sea,
but the pilot expertly recovers and straightens out as his landing gear
touches down. Even as the plane glides to a stop, the hatch is thrown
back and a man leaps down running. Nabiki almost laughs at the sight,
as the idiot's katana gets tangled between his legs, and he ends up face
first in the ground. *What kind of a moron would wear his sword into a
cramped cockpit? This Major Kunou must be a greater fool than the last
garrison commander.*
Nabiki strolls over casually to where the Major is dusting himself
off. "Major Kunou?"
The officer finally regains enough composure to speak. "Thine
eyes are presently being honored with a vision of that personage. For
I am Major Kunou Tatewaki, the rising star of the Japanese Imperial
Army Group A. I am called the Blue Thunder by my many admirers."
Nabiki suppresses her urge to roll her eyes and returns a sharp
salute instead. "Captain Tendo Nabiki. I am the chief of police for
all of Shanghai."
"Ah, the esteemed Captain Tendo. Word of thine success in
bringing this troublesome city under control has spread far and wide.
Of course, I myself will have to personally see into improving all
the security measures around here."
As Kunou continues to blather on, Nabiki sees the rest of the
planes touching down. There are six planes in total, meaning Kunou had
only brought a small staff. Nothing that she wouldn't be able to
absorb. *Bringing it under control is right. My control.*
As they begin to walk off the airfield with Kunou's entourage in
tow, Kunou asks, "So, I heard that some couriers are missing."
*Damn it. I wanted to clean up that mess before he heard about
it. There must be a leak some where along the line...* Nabiki turns
to look at Kunou and puts on her most dazzling smile. "Nothing to worry
about, Kunou-chan. I've rounded up twice the usual number of suspects
on that count."
Nabiki smiles inwardly, watching the Major visibly flinch at being
called Kunou-chan. He opens his mouth in protest, but finds himself
unable to berate her as she smiles at him. After a few moments, he
stops spluttering. "Most excellent. Of course, you already have the
villains in custody?"
"Oh no. We know who it is. No need to corner the mousse too
quickly. If he thinks he's gotten away with it, he'll lower his guard,
making him a much easier target. We'll get him, all right."
"Very well then. I hope your men will put on a good show for me."
"Yes, I assure you they will. In the mean time, why don't you
rest up a bit before we go to Ucchan's."
"Ah yes. Ucchan's. I've heard much about this place."
@->-
Ukyou moves the red Cavalry piece up. *Hmm... Check. Now how
would I recover from this...* After a few moments of thought, she
brings in a green Chariot piece in for the block. As she ponders her
next move, a voice says, "Checkmate for red in three moves."
"As always Hikaru, your chess stinks." The man that slides in
the seat across from Ukyou is merely a scarecrow of a man. His droopy
eyes added onto that body lends a comic effect to him that had probably
made him the target of a lot of abuse during his youth.
"Yes, well, chess never was something I was good at." Gosunkugi
flags down a waiter that is serving champagne.
Ukyou raises an eyebrow at his statement. "As opposed to what?
Never mind."
"Would you care to have a drink with me, Kuonji-kun?"
"No." Ukyou goes back to studying the board. The red pieces of
the Han outnumber their enemy almost two to one. *It looks as if
history's going to be repeating it self.*
"Oh, I forgot. You never drink with customers. Waiter, I'll just
have two then." Ukyou notices how much his hands shake, as Gosunkugi
downs his two drinks in rapid succession. *Now why is he so nervous?*
Lighting a cigarette, Gosunkugi leans back in his chair. "You
know Kuonji-kun, its a shame that you insist on masquerading as a
man..."
"Shut up Hikaru. I told you not to talk about that. Now, give
me a good reason why I shouldn't throw you out right this moment."
There is a possible recovery for green which would require a bold
offensive. One that would leave it absolutely shattered if it failed.
Ukyou considers it for a moment, and moves the red cavalry back to
draw the green pieces out.
"I'm shocked. How can you say that to a friend?" Gosunkugi's
voice is flat, showing that he expected Ukyou to react that way.
"We may be friends, Hikaru, but I'm running a business, and
if you're just going to freeload off of me, I'd rather you be quiet
about my life."
"Your wish is my command." He fiddles with his cigarette for
a few more moments before he speaks again. "Did you hear about the
two Japanese couriers? Poor saps, murdered while on the way from
Beijing."
Ukyou grunts noncommittally, deciding to engage green in the
risky offensive. Gosunkugi watches the next few exchanges as red's
counter attack decimates the green lines and surrounds its king. "You
know Ukyou, I've got many friends in Shanghai, but out of all of them, I
trust you the most."
"I'm flattered." She moves the red chariot in for the coup
de grace. *Looks like the Han Dynasty wins again.* "Is it the
innocent look on my face?"
"Though there are many words I would use to describe you,
innocent isn't one of them." Gosunkugi chuckles. "No, it is because
out of all the people I know, only you don't treat me as if I was
a pathetic loser."
"You know, if I ever gave you any thought, I would." Ukyou
clears the board off and looks up at Gosunkugi.
"Yes, well... To survive in Shanghai, I've had to swallow my
pride often and bow down to others. But no more. Tonight, I will
finish a transaction for more money than even you've dreamed of."
"Really? I can dream of quite a bit."
"Right now, I have something that not even you have ever seen.
Blank letters of transit, signed by Admiral Tojo himself! Will not be
questioned by anyone. Once I finish tonight's deal, I am retiring.
And then sayonara Shanghai."
"Hmm... Nabiki must be applying more pressure, trying to absorb
your organization. So, is leaving her idea or yours?"
"Mine. I found myself a lot less intimidating." They both laugh
at that. As his laughter subsides, Gosunkugi pulls out an envelope
from his pocket.
"Wait a second. What is this?"
"The letters of transit. I'd like you to hide them for me."
"Hikaru..."
"It is only until later tonight."
"..." Against her better judgment, Ukyou takes the envelopes.
"Fine. But I want them out tonight no matter what. Hear me?"
"Thank you Ukyou, you're a great friend."
"Right. Now get going before I change my mind."
"As you wish. I think I'll go share my good fortune with your
roulette table." Gosunkugi puts out his cigarette and rises. "I hope
you are a little more impressed with me, Kuonji-kun."
"Wait a second. Weren't those two couriers carrying letters of
transit?"
"That would be telling. Be seeing you."
"Idiot." She stares at Gosunkugi's retreating form for a while
and then stands up to make her rounds about Ucchan's.
@->-
"So how's business, Konatsu?"
"Pretty good boss. I just finished off the last of the dinner
rush. Want me to cook one up for you?"
Ukyou gives Konatsu a hard look. "You've gotten a lot better,
but I don't think you're ready to pass my taste test."
Konatsu eyes start to water, "Thanks boss."
"Huh? For what?"
"Saying I got better."
Ukyou sighs. "Never mind Konatsu, never mind... Why don't
you get out there and sing? Ryouga was saying that the men in
the audience were asking for you. 'Course, I think he's just
getting tired of fending off all the women, but still..."
"You're the boss." Ukyou takes Konatsu's place behind the
grill as Konatsu goes to the back room to change into his woman's
clothing. She wonders for a moment how her clients would react
if they discover that the beautiful singer is the same man that
works the grill, and laughs at the thought.
The attention in the store turns to the stage as Konatsu
steps up next to Ryouga's piano. Without much of a cue, the two
of them start up a number. *They perform well together. No wonder
there's so much talk about something going on between 'the handsome
pianist and the beautiful singer'. If only they knew...*
Making sure that everybody's looking away, Ukyou slides open
a secret compartment under the grill. Quickly, she slips the envelope
in the slender space between the flames, knowing that nobody would
look for paper to be hidden right next to fire.
After a few more songs, Konatsu steps off the stage as the crowd
applauds. Many of the men who had gathered around the stage sigh and
then go back to their seats. The women, on the other hand, collectively
get dreamy looks in their eyes as Ryouga starts up a new tune, oblivious
to their attention as always.
"Ukyou, Shampoo want to buy Ryouga off you." Ukyou turns to
see that Shampoo has taken a seat at the grill.
"I don't buy or sell human beings."
"That too bad. Spatula girl miss out on number one trade in
Shanghai."
"Please stop speaking like that. I know your Japanese is better."
"Yes, but Shampoo not know if Nabiki's spies listening."
"She probably knows that you're faking it."
"True. But is fun annoying Nabiki this way."
"And me too, I suppose."
Shampoo giggles at that. "Ukyou darling, you are just too smart
for your own good. If only you were a real man..."
"All right, Shampoo, I'll stop bugging you about your speech if
you stop bugging me with that."
"Deal. Anyway, why not we ask Ryouga?"
"Why don't we." Letting Konatsu take the grill again, she frowns
in annoyance as Shampoo slips her arm through her own. The two of them
weave their way towards the stage as many men nod their complements to
Ukyou, much to her chagrin and to Shampoo's delight. They finally reach
the stage and walk up to Ryouga.
"Ryouga, Shampoo here wants you to work for her at the Aoi Neko."
"Oh that's okay. I like it plenty fine here." He continues to
jam away at the piano without looking up at them.
"She'll pay you double what I pay."
"And Shampoo throw in something extra, maybe." Her tone leaves
very little to imagination as to what that 'extra' thing might me.
"Oh that's okay. I can't spend everything I make here. Besides,
Ukyou already lets me eat and live here for free. What more extra could
you throw in?" And as always, Ryouga totally misses it. Ukyou turns to
shrug at Shampoo, and Shampoo can merely shrug in return.
@->-
"The boss' best brandy. I serve it especially for you. Because
Xie Yun, I love you."
"Shut up and gimme another drink Tsubasa." The young woman slams
down her cup on the bar again. The handsome young bartender pours out
another cup and slides it back to her.
"For you I will. Because Xie Yun, I love you." The young woman,
however, does not take the proffered cup, her attention now on Ukyou.
Her eyes track Ukyou like a hungry animal transfixed upon its prey as
Ukyou rounds the crowded store. Eventually, *he* arrives at the bar.
"Hello, Xie Yun."
"Where were you last night?"
"That's so long ago, I don't remember."
"Will I see you tonight?"
"I never plan that far in advance."
"Oh, I was a fool to fall for a man like you..." She picks up
her drink and finishes it in one gulp.
"Then why did you? I told you that I wouldn't love you." As
Xie Yun turns to get another drink, Ukyou grabs her wrist. "I
think you've had enough to drink."
"Tsubasa, pour me a drink!" Xie Yun tries to move her arm, but
Ukyou's grip is like a band of steel.
"Xie Yun, I love you, but Ukyou pays me."
"Come on Xie Yun, let's get your coat." Leading her by the wrist,
Ukyou drags Xie Yun along. "Tsubasa, go out and flag a cab down."
"Yes boss." Tsubasa sighs, feeling sorry for Xie Yun. After
all, he knows that feeling better than anybody else.
@->-
Watching the taxi drive off, Tsubasa turns to Ukyou. "Well, so
much for that idea, yes?"
"..." Ukyou continues to stare at the receding cab, its lights
fading to a dark glow down the street.
"I guess having a handsome bartender doesn't distract them away
from you. You should really let me dress..."
"And what would that accomplish?"
"Well, people would stare if we were both guys and I told you
that..."
Ukyou turns to Tsubasa. "Tsubasa."
"I'm sorry, Ukyou-sama... but I can't deny how I feel, just as
she couldn't. Really, you should..."
"Go back inside now Tsubasa. Skip anymore work, and I'll toss
you out. And I told you not to call me that."
"Yes, boss." With a sigh, Tsubasa turns and goes back inside.
Ukyou takes a deep breath and then digs around in her pocket, producing
a silver cigarette case. She puts a cigarette in her mouth, but then
frowns and searches her pockets once more.
"Need a light?" Ukyou spins around to see Nabiki sitting at one
of her outdoor tables. "From the way you toss about pretty women, and
handsome men, for the matter, one would think that you always expect
more to come along."
"Shut up Nabiki. Just give me that light." Ukyou walks over and
bends down as Nabiki produces a lighter.
"You know, you really should quit. Its bad for your health.
And its especially bad when one's with child."
"Well, at least that's something I'll never have to worry about."
Ukyou snorts and then sits down across from Nabiki. "Besides, why do
you carry around a lighter then?"
"It sometimes lets me share the company of handsome young men."
For the thousandth time, Ukyou wonders if Nabiki knows of her
secret. *Always assume she knows, but never do anything to give it
away.* "Well, if that's..."
If Ukyou was planning on saying anything more, it is cut off by
the sound of a loud fog whistle. Both of them turn to look down to the
harbor to see the last ship leaving for Vladivostok. The tiny tug boats
guide the massive ship carefully out of the harbor and finally into open
sea. "The way you look at the ship, Ukyou, I'd say you almost wanted
to be on it. I always wondered why you did come back from America."
"They have no appreciation for okonomiyaki." She takes a drag,
feeling the smoke slowly fill her lungs up. "Besides, we all know there
will be war between Japan and America soon."
"Yes, but its been five years since you've come here. Why did you
ever come? Shanghai, despite its veneer of civilization and culture, is
one huge opium den. Trust me, I know."
"I heard there was good hiking." Ukyou lets the smoke escape, not
being able to hold onto it much longer.
"Hiking? My friend, we live in a port city. There are no
significant mountains to speak of for kilometers."
"Guess I was misinformed."
Before Nabiki tries to pry more information from Ukyou, a tall
man dressed in a waiter's uniform comes out the front door and walks
up to them. "Excuse me, my lord."
"Yes Shoryu?"
"I'm sorry, but a gentleman has just won twenty million yen. The
cashier is asking for some money."
"Its okay Shoryuu. Such is business. Come, I'll get it for you."
@->-
"I'll make sure that it doesn't happen again, my lord."
"That's all right Shoryuu." With a low bow, Shoryuu turns and
leaves Ukyou's room.
"My lord?" Nabiki turns to Ukyou with a look of curiosity.
"Well... You do know who he is, don't you?"
"No."
"Nabiki..."
"Oh, fine. Twelve charges of assault and battery, four charges
of kidnapping, and two charges of treason. Every single police unit
sent against him has been demolished. The police forces in six major
cities and numerous minor ones have become gutted due to his actions.
Pansuto Tarou."
"Yes, but I wouldn't call him that to his face." Ukyou pours
herself a glass of brandy. "Want some?"
"No thanks, and I'm still waiting for an explanation..."
"I needed a waiter. He needed a job. Simple enough there."
Ukyou swirls her glass around a bit, watching the light shine through
the crystal.
"That's not what I was asking."
"Oh, that. I asked him what his name was, and he insisted on
being called Tarou. I'm not in the habit of calling people 'boy' like
the other Japanese do with their Chinese workers, so I made up a name
for him - Shoryuu. He objected to that for a while, but I insisted, so
what could he do?"
"Not much I guess."
"After a while, he started calling me my lord. I guess its his
response to my calling him whatever I want."
"Hmm... 'Rising Dragon'. Its a strong name for a strong man.
Still, you haven't answered my question." Nabiki crosses her legs
and brings her chin to a rest on her hand.
"Nabiki, why don't you ask the question a bit more clearly
then?" A note of exasperation enters Ukyou's voice.
"I'm just remarking on how he calls you 'my lord'."
"And..." Ukyou shudders slightly, knowing where this is going.
"Well, the way he says it... Kinda possessive. Like calling a
woman 'my lady' with the emphasis on 'my'. But never mind, nothing
like that could be between you, right?"
"Need you ask?"
"I suppose not." Ukyou shudders again as Nabiki finally drops the
subject. "Oh, by the way, I'm going to be making an arrest at your
place tonight, and I'd like it if you didn't interfere."
"Have I stopped you before?"
"Yes well... A certain fugitive has entered into Shanghai. My
informants tell me this fugitive will try to buy passage to Russia."
"So why don't you just arrest this person?" Ukyou finally gets
tired of watching the brandy and finishes it.
"The fugitive is a Japanese national, and I need evidence. The
arrest tonight should provide me with the evidence I need. No matter
what, I don't want you getting in my way."
"Who is this fugitive, if I may ask?"
"He has operated under many aliases, but the most famous one would
be Tchido Akira."
"Tchido Akira!" The glass almost slips out of Ukyou's hand, but
she recovers her grip.
"My dear Ukyou, that's the first time I've heard you impressed."
"Yes, well Tchido Akira has managed to impress half the world."
"And I'm going to see that he doesn't impress the other half."
"Well, it'll be interesting to see how he manages."
"How he manages what?"
"His escape."
"Didn't I just tell you that he won't be leaving Shanghai?"
"Tchido Akira escaped from Japan with the Imperial Army trying to
arrest him. I think he'll make it."
"Are you willing to bet on that?"
"Why don't we? What do you say to twenty million yen?"
"Are you serious?"
"I just wrote a check for twenty million, I'd like to win it
back."
"Very well then, but only ten million. I'm only a poor, corrupt
woman, mind you. Oh, I better get going. Major Kunou will be here
soon, and I'll need to collect Hikaru."
@->-
"Gosunkugi-san?" Gosunkugi turns around to see two policemen
standing behind him.
"Eh... Yes, may I help you?"
"Could you come with us, please? Captain Tendo wishes to speak
with you."
"Of course, of course. Oh, may I cash my chips first?" He points
to the small pile in front of him on the table.
The two men exchange a glance. "Of course."
Gosunkugi slowly gathers his chips and walks towards the cashier.
On the way there, he spots Tarou and gives him a frantic look. Tarou
seems to want to say something, but then acts as if he didn't see the
look. Gosunkugi finally gets to the cashier's box and puts his chips
down. "Yes, put that on my account. I guess I won't be needing it for
a while..."
"Are you ready, Gosunkugi-san?"
"Yes, yes. I am. Shouldn't keep Captain Tendo waiting..." The
two officers trail Gosunkugi as he walks towards the door out of the
gambling room. The other patrons avert their eyes as he passes them,
not wishing to see a dead man walking. Reaching the door, Gosunkugi
puts a hand on one of them, as if to steady himself, but then bolts
through the door and shuts it behind him.
"Get him!" As the first officer opens the door and comes through,
Gosunkugi brings his hand out from inside his jacket and releases a
spread of nails. The policeman falls, blood gushing from his eyes, but
the second pays no heed and runs past him.
Gosunkugi rounds a pillar and sees Ukyou. He grabs Ukyou
by the arm and cries, "Ukyou! Hide me!"
"Hikaru, calm down." Ukyou pulls her arm out of Gosunkugi's
grasp. "You can't get away. Give yourself up now."
"Help me Ukyou, help me!" The squad of policemen that had been
dispersed about Ucchan's converges on Gosunkugi and tackles him down.
"Ukyou!"
Ukyou watches the policemen drag him off as he continues screaming
at Ukyou. *I'm sorry Hikaru. Were it merely my life, I would help you.
I have people who depend on me for their livelihood, for their life
itself. I can't risk all that. Not for anything.* She turns away and
heads for the center of her store.
"I hope you're more of a help when they come for me, Ukyou." A
figure in the shadows whispers as Ukyou passes by.
"I wish you better luck than Hikaru, Mousse. I don't stick my
neck out for nobody." Ukyou waits for a response, but then realizes
that Mousse is gone.
=======================
[Author's Notes]
Eh... I finally got tired of it sitting on my desktop, so here's
Part One. As I said, its going on hold until I get some other stuff
outta the way first, but it looks okay. I dunno. I'm having lots
of fun writing it, since I've got most of the movie memorized. Gotta
love Casablanca... Gotta love Ranma 1/2... Gotta love the Ukyou-Rick
duality.
Certain characters may be OOC, since I'm stuffing them into roles other
than their own, and since I've never seen Konatsu or Tarou in action.
Oh well, poor me. If you disagree with my casting, go write your own.
=P
Part II will see the entrance of everybody's (well, okay, fine, "My")
favorite couple. Need I give their names (well, one is Tchido Akira,
but that's an alias... Oh, its so hard to figure out...) ?