Just a couple of minor suggestions on this....

David Johnston <rgorman@telusplanet.net> wrote:

Kodachi Kuno smiled to herself as she slipped, ghostlike, 
over the wall surrounding the Tendo household.  This was
one of her favourite games, the monster in the dark.  
She'd rough the girl up, of course, but the point was the
fear.  Get your opponent to fear you and the victory was
as good as yours, if she even dared show up for the match.
A long time ago, Kodachi had come to the conclusion that
the world was divided into victims and the victimizers.
There was no question in her mind who had more fun.  She
silently jumped up to the convenient ledge circling the
Tendo household.  Thanks to her relationship with Akira,
she knew the floorplan of the Tendo household by heart
and it wasn't hard to deduce where boarders would be housed.
She slid open the window and slipped inside.  

This paragraph, I think, has too many different things crammed into it.
I'd break it up into two or three, maybe expanding on some of the ideas.

"It's not what it looks like!" Kodachi yelped.  

"But I didn't mean-"  Kodachi didn't get a chance to 
finish her attempt to excuse herself as Akira turned and

I know that this is a novel situation for Kodachi -- being interested in
two different men at once -- but it's hard to imagine her like this.
She's never (that I can think of) had any shame whatsoever about the
things she does. You may want to reconsider her reaction here.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics