Kasumi surprised her with her response.  "Someone has to
keep them in line," she smiled, touching Hitomi's shoulder and
winking.

*Quote complaint #1:  While there are many who will forgive this error, 
it's a real pet peeve o' mine.  You cannot "smile" a quote.  Nor can 

you 

"nod", "grin" or "scowl" it.  In order to convey a quote, you have to 

be 

doing something that makes noise.  Facial expressions are fine, but you 
_say_ things while showing them.  The closest thing to a real exception 
to this rule would be along the lines of:  [Kasumi shot Akane a look 
that plainly said, "Please don't disrupt the funeral."]*

  The actions of nod, grin, etc., typically occur in a different 
sentence than the quote spoken. Just a hint. 
  Yet, of course, it's still done anyway, and it IS acceptable in 
writing (as I've seen paid authors do this every once in a while), so 
don't just blame it on this guy (heck, *I* do it myself sometimes). 

	"Hai, I guess she would..." he agreed distantly, watching

*QC3:  The ellipses only indicate the trailing off of the speaker's 
voice; they do not substitute for the actual punctuation (as can be 

seen 

in sentences in which the quote ends with a question-mark or 

exclamation 

point).  Therefore, the sentence should read:  ["Hai, I guess she 
would...," he agreed distantly,].  

  I've never heard of this ["Blah...,"] thing before. I've always done 
it like this: ["Blah...."] The former looks... well, retarded, to say 
the least (read: it looks WRONG somehow). 

There is room for leeway, here 
though, as I've been informed that the British style is to have the 
ellipses serve double-duty for commas or periods (but not other 
punctuation).  If you claim this rationale, though, I'm going to watch 
for consistency, insisting that you use British spelling (favour, 
honour, etc.).  Your call.*

  THAT's a bit cruel, don't you think? Did WE (as in the FFML as a 
whole) have to see this? 

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it."--JMS, creator of Babylon 5. 
"If you go to Z'ha'dum, you will die."--Kosh, Babylon 5.
"Understanding is a three-edged sword."--Kosh, Babylon 5. 
"Never show your hand until the end."--me, being profound. 

--Razorclaw X

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