warr@pobox.alaska.net (Warr) wrote:

Hiya Gary,

Howdy!

Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this.  I've been on vacation down
in the states for the past 3 weeks and just got back.  :)  Also, this is
my first time reading the series, so many others may have already
commented on the same things I'm about to...

No problem, I appreciate the commentary!

No, it was a feeling of... destiny. As though he were approaching a
critical moment in history, upon which depended not only his fate, not
only that of the Pig-Tailed Girl, but much, much more that he was yet to
be aware of.

He's going to fall in, isn't he?  Than again, this could be misleading.

Heh

       "News is not good. They will no help us. They not admit so, but
I can tell."

'They will not help us.'  <?>  She used used 'not' twice so it can't be that
she doesnt know its use...

She's just no that careful... I mean, not that careful of a speaker.
"No" and "Not" are the same word in Chinese, so Pu tends to mix them up.
At least that's my experience with some of the Chinese people that I
know, which is what I tend to base my Pu-speak on.

He hoped that one day she would
find him worthy of her.

Wow, Kuno has definately changed... :)

Yep.

Tatewaki had no idea how
far she would go to earn money.

Let's find out, shall we.  ;>  *slap*

Nabiki replies, "5000 Yen or I file a harrassment suit, Warr-chan." :-)

And what I don't know, I can learn myself faster than these people
can teach it to me."

...learn myself faster... seems like the wrong use.  Try cutting out the
word myself, maybe?  ...I can learn faster than...

Probably should've had a 'by' after learn.

LOL,  :)  that's too funny.

The Kuno Family dinner is hilarious too.  :-)  Kodachi's little
insight was right on the mark, too...

Glad you enjoyed these bits.

"I find myself unable to decide between ramen with pork, and ramen
with shrimp!"

Minor nitpick...shouldn't the 'and' be an 'or'?

Hmmm... don't think so.

Hit return too soon or something...

Fixed this.

Okay, chapter one done.  I really enjoyed it, however, I have a question
about Ranma and Akane in the restaurant.  Ranma fought the pills effects..
.how?  He became a guy than a girl, was that enough, or was it because of
his love for Akane?  I wasn't too sure which.

Ranma is back under the influence of the pill after he turns back into a
female. He's in love with Kuno, so he wants to do what's best for Kuno.
His curse (and the fact that he isn't a "real" woman) would make it
impossible for them to have a real relationship -- if only 'cause Ranma
would fall out of love with Kuno every time he became male. Mentioning
Jusenkyo is just his way of trying to explain this (best he can do in
his current state of mind.)

I also found the Kuno/Shampoo match to be original and interesting.  :)

Cool, you'll see more of it in the HaM series.

"Tomorrow let's eat at the Otaku Bell.

LOL!  Baaaaad pun, man.

Heh. I think Keener used this one before I did, though.

       It was suddenly clear. "Damn it, Ran-chan! I spent years working
to be the perfect fiancee for you! Then you come along
and... and want me to be 'best man'? I'm not *any* kind of man, Ranma!

Hit return a little early in that second line, I think...

Yeah, something weird happened with the line wrapping throughout this
whole chapter. I'm gonna re-wrap the whole thing before it goes out to
RAAC.

Poor Ukyou.  Maybe things will start looking up now that a new series is
starting.

Maybe. ^_^ Her troubles will be a major subplot of HaM, so we'll see.

<G>  Another good story, sir!  I look forward to the future installments.  :)

Keep up the good work!

Thanks, as I said I appreciate the comments!

Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics