Hiya Gary,

Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this.  I've been on vacation down
in the states for the past 3 weeks and just got back.  :)  Also, this is
my first time reading the series, so many others may have already
commented on the same things I'm about to...

Ch. 1

No, it was a feeling of... destiny. As though he were approaching a
critical moment in history, upon which depended not only his fate, not
only that of the Pig-Tailed Girl, but much, much more that he was yet to
be aware of.

He's going to fall in, isn't he?  Than again, this could be misleading.

       "News is not good. They will no help us. They not admit so, but
I can tell."

'They will not help us.'  <?>  She used used 'not' twice so it can't be that
she doesnt know its use...

He hoped that one day she would
find him worthy of her.

Wow, Kuno has definately changed... :)

Tatewaki had no idea how
far she would go to earn money.

Let's find out, shall we.  ;>  *slap*

And what I don't know, I can learn myself faster than these people
can teach it to me."

...learn myself faster... seems like the wrong use.  Try cutting out the
word myself, maybe?  ...I can learn faster than...

       Genma raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting that I'd stoop so
low as to drug my own son?" Obviously, Mousse was more perceptive than >he
seemed.

LOL,  :)  that's too funny.

The Kuno Family dinner is hilarious too.  :-)  Kodachi's little
insight was right on the mark, too...

"I find myself unable to decide between ramen with pork, and ramen
with shrimp!"

Minor nitpick...shouldn't the 'and' be an 'or'?

       "I do not guarantee that. But it will make you a better fighter,
and it will help you it will help you in understanding your opposition.
You may learn
just what it is that keeps you from achieveing your goals; this might
give you a chance of getting what you seek."

Hit return too soon or something...


Okay, chapter one done.  I really enjoyed it, however, I have a question
about Ranma and Akane in the restaurant.  Ranma fought the pills effects..
.how?  He became a guy than a girl, was that enough, or was it because of
 his love for Akane?  I wasn't too sure which.

I also found the Kuno/Shampoo match to be original and interesting.  :)


Time for Ch. 2.

"Tomorrow let's eat at the Otaku Bell.

LOL!  Baaaaad pun, man.

       It was suddenly clear. "Damn it, Ran-chan! I spent years working
to be the perfect fiancee for you! Then you come along
and... and want me to be 'best man'? I'm not *any* kind of man, Ranma!

Hit return a little early in that second line, I think...

       Apparently this was a worse neighborhood than he'd been informed.
Still,
he had to carry out the job he had been told to do.         "Excuse me,"
he said
to the wielder of the spatula, "might you be Kuonji Ukyo?"

I think you hit tab before "Excuse me," ...

       "Such exceptionally friendly service," Nabiki said
sarcastically. "I am *so* glad I'm back here on vacation. Actually, compared to
some places I've been in the United States, this
*is* exceptionally friendly service."

This sentence seems to be formatted strangly.

       Those were the results of the choices Ukyo had made.

Poor Ukyou.  Maybe things will start looking up now that a new series is
starting.
<G>  Another good story, sir!  I look forward to the future installments.  :)

Keep up the good work!

Warren


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