Here's a MSTing I did a while ago. Featuring me and my RP companion Erica!

Enjoy!

======================

Susan Doenime 

Petes: ...Will not be seen in this Fic.

<wendigo@humbug.org.au>

Erica: Now we know where to send the email bomb to!
Petes: This might actualy be good
Both: BWA HA HA HA HA!!!

Someone once wrote, 

Petes: "Dear Susan, is there ever times that you feel 'not fresh'?"

asking why all my stories are a bit... odd. So, in
responce, here's a nice, quiet, heart-to-heart chat.

Erica (Susan): Shut up assmuch!!! 

-----------------------------------------------------
Ukyou Can Cook!

Petes: But Akane can't.
Erica: Pity.     

	or The Way To A Man's Heart

Petes: ...Is though extensive surgery

_---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _----

Petes: Damn potholes!

Respectfully dedicated to the Church of Ukyou

Erica (Susan): Of whom have probably kicked me out by now.

_---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _----

Characters are all Rumiko Takahashi's, wow

_---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _---- _----

  When things look at their worse, 

Petes: ...They say "Boy I need to lose weight!"

when all hope seems lost, when the
universe has turned against you... it's good to have a friend. With
these thoughts in mind, Ranma despondently trudged towards the Ucchan's.

Erica: ...To see if he could find one.
Petes: All there was were Ukyou and Konatsu... boofing each other!
Erica: Gee thanks! Now my mind will be haunted forever by those images.

  His life had been going okay lately, which should have warned him.

Petes: ... But his life was a lazy man, so he didn't.

No
new enemies after him for some monumentally silly reason. 

Erica: Only for well thought reasons.

No fiancees
his father had neglected to mention. 

Petes: Just the ones that he blathered on about.

No new special attacks, or plots,
or love potions, or any of the hundreds of things that seemed to happen
to him on a near-daily basis.

Erica: Nuthin' shittier than a normal non-life threatening day.

  He had even been getting along with Akane. Alarmingly well, actually.

Petes: Before it was just silently well!

Ranma had recently made a startling discovery: 

Petes (Ranma): If I do it once when I'm a guy and again as a girl, I 
can masturbate twice in one day!!!
Erica: [punches Petes in the face] Hentai!

if he didn't insult
Akane, she didn't hit him or yell at him.

Erica: And it took him this long to realize this?
Petes: He was still figuring out the masturbating thing.
Erica: Oh.

Imagine! In fact, she could be
positively... well.. nice to him.

  So the fact that she had been missing for two days

Petes: ...Didn't bug him that much.

was very, very
upsetting to him.

Petes: Hey Erica wanna see me do a impression of sadness?
Erica: Do I have a choice?
Petes (Tom Green): I'm soooo sad. I'm sooooooooooooooooo saaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

  And he had no idea what to do, either. 

Petes (Ranma): Hmm, play with myself, find Akane. I better sleep on it.

Akane was kidnapped all the
time, but the abducters always did it in a highly dramatic, colorful,
and eminiently followable manner. With this... well, she had just not
come home from school one day.

Petes: Stangely that afternoon the Kuno estate had strange pleasure filled 
screams coming from it.
Erica (Akane): Ohh Kuno, your bokken is so biiiig!
Petes: O_o
Erica: What?
Petes: He uses a botuken, that's what!
Erica: *mutters* Fanboy.

  He had looked in all her usual places,

Petes: The whore house, the opium den and the drunk tank.

called all her friends -

Petes: Assholes?
Erica: #^%$&*^%$*&$&^%&* ?
Petes: O_O

nothing. And, aside from that, what could he do?

Petes (Ranma): Well...*Ziiip*... Good morning captian!
Erica: Would you stop it!

  Ranma hated doing nothing, and he was really worried, and he was
desperately hoping that Ukyou would be able to cheer him up.

Petes: Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...
Erica: ...But she was cheering up Konatsu at the moment. *Shudder*

  Ukyou seemed to pick up on his glum mood the second he entered, and
quickly ushered him over to the grill. The restaurant was empty, and she
quickly began to whip up a plate of okonomiyaki.

  "I dunno, Ucchan." Ranma slumped over the counter, 

Petes: Now that's an interesting term for ji...
Erica: Petes!!!

his face showing
his concern.

  "What don't you know?"

Petes (Ranma): Ohh, like the meaning of life, what's in hotdog meat...

  "Well, it's Akane. She's been missing for two days, Ucchan. I'm...
well, I'm sorta, y'know, worried about her."

  Ukyou nodded. "Well, Ranma, I'm sure Akane's hanging around
somewhere. 

Petes: On a meathook no doubt.
Erica: Don't ruin the ending.

Don't worry." She smiled reassuringly at him and patted his
arm. "Speaking of which... I got some new ingredients in a little while
back, and I want you to try the recipe for me."

Erica (Ukyou): Now this one is called crackonomiyaki.
Petes (Ranma): Mmmm!

  He nodded, the motion seeming jerky and automatic. 

Erica (Ukyou): Ohh Ran-chan! I had no idea you thought of me like that!
Petes (Ranma): Well actualy I was thinking of Ryouga.
Erica: (stares at Petes) O_O 
Petes (Singing):  There's a party in my pants and Ryouga's on my mind...
Erica: O_O

"Sure, Ucchan."

  "Boy, you sound excited."

Petes (Ranma): And if you look a little lower you'll see I am!

  Ranma blushed. "Sorry, really I am. I'm just... you know. I'm really
worried about her. Maybe you should get someone else to test your new
recipe on. It'd be wasted on me, right now. "

  "You'd be wasted on it," Ukyou said firmly. "Look, this recipe was
_made_ for you. Besides, nothing like a little food to get rid of your
problems, right?"

Petes: Or a little nookie!
Erica: Baka!!! *Wham*

  "You sound like Pop," he said, actually laughing a little. She
grinned.

  "Don't you dare compare me to your father, now." She walked behind
the grill, and began to dice, fry, and cook. Despite his mood of gloom,
Ranma's nose twitched.

  "Smells good. Beef? Pork?"

Petes: ... Horse? Duck? John Lennen?
Erica: How'd he get in there?

  "Yup, just swine. Ryouga would be absolutely sick, if he knew." She
giggled. "Where is the lost boy, anyway?"

Erica: Off getting eaten by Akari!
Petes: That fic kicked ass!

  "He went looking for Akane. Like he could even find himself..." Ranma
trailed off, feeling his heart sink. 

Erica (Ukyou): F2.
Petes (Ranma): You sunk my heart.

Lifting the finished okonomiyaki

>from the grill, Ukyou hesitantly walked over to sit beside him.

  "Look, Ranchan... there really isn't anything you can do, nothing at
all. Cheer up, neh?"

Petes: Neh heh heh heh heh heh!

  He nodded miserably. "Yeah, I know, but..."

  "No buts." 

Petes (Ukyou): I'm not into anal se...
Erica: *Glares at Petes*

She pushed the plate in front of him, and stood.
"Okonomiyaki Akane, I'll name this recipe. For you." Taking a bottle of
sauce, she deftly sketched a the outline of a mallet atop the surface of
the pancake. "You eat it, Ranma, and it'll be like she's with you.
Giving you strength to handle this."

Petes (Ukyou): While you handle yourself. *snicker*

  He smiled, and took one bite, then two. "I wish that were true...."

  "It is, Ranma." Ukyou shrugged. "Akane's a part of you, like it or
not. There's something of her in you, and, well, I think you grow on her
a bit."

Erica: Will Akane need fungal spray for that?

  "We have," Ranma paused to take another bite, "we have been getting
along a lot better lately..."

  "Oh, I noticed. Almost didn't have time for me."

  "Hey, Ucchan..."

  She smiled. "I'm teasing. You'll always have time for me."

  "Well," Ranma grinned, "at least you can cook."

  "Ranma, Akane _will_ make good food. She just needs someone to
prepare her, that's all."

Erica (Ukyou): Like me!
Petes: Shhh! Ranma isn't suppost to know!
Erica (Ukyou) Oops!

  "Like Kasumi," he asked, dubiously.

Erica (Ukyou): Nah, she's just an axe murderer!

  "Or me." Her face crinkled in a smile. "I wouldn't be afraid to cut
into her, if she made a mistake."

Petes: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more.

  Ranma nodded. "Yeah... Kasumi'd just smile and gently try correcting
her, an' of course Akane'd never listen. You know how she is."

  "Yeah, I know. Akane's not the tender sort."

Petes: She's more lean.
Erica: 100% beef I belive.

  He smiled ruefully. "That's what I like about her, y'know? And I
feel... I feel like I'm never going to see her again."

  The okonomiyaki chef turned him around, and looked him straight in
the eyes. "Listen to me, Ranma. You will see Akane again within 24
hours, I'm sure of it. You just can't keep that girl down."

Petes (Ukyou): Now if you'll excuse me I think I'll be seeing Tubasa soon
and I have to hit the can.
Erica: No surprise here.

  "I thought you were rivals?"

  Ukyou shook her head. "Not now. All I want at the moment is to see
you and Akane together, here in my restaurant. Oh, I still intend to
marry you. But not until you've gotten her out of your system once and
for all."

  "And if I never get her out of my system?"

Petes: Elax'll do it!
Erica: Or Pepto.

  "Oh, you will. Akane... is the sort who'll make your heart burn. Then
it passes. I'm the one who'll stay, Ranma, I'm the one who'll be by your
side whenever something like this happens. I'll wait."

  He looked at her, and shook his head. "It might be a while."

  She smiled.

  "I'll wait until Akane's done, Ranma. Then I'll have you. I can
wait." Clearing away the now-empty plate, she motioned for him to rise.
"Now you go home, Ranma. You've got Akane, and I've got dishes."

Erica: Somehow that just doesn't even out...

  Halfway to the door, he turned. "Thanks, Ucchan. I feel better."

  "Anything for you, Ranchan."

Erica: Awww, she must realy love Ranma.
Petes: And nuthin' says lovin' like Akane in the oven!

  "When Akane turns up, I'll bring her by for that okonomiyaki."

  "_Her_ okonomiyaki. We'll have her for dinner, or lunch. Maybe both.
And all three of us will be just wonderful, you'll see."

Petes: Nudge, nudge...
Erica: Yea, yea.

  "Yeah. Bye, Ucchan."

  The door swung shut, and Ukyou watched it for over a minute before
laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and

Petes: And what???
Erica: ...Then she headed for the can.
Petes: Oh.

-finis-

Petes: Damn frenchy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Petes: Ahhh, a nice smooth road.

Special thanks to Zen, Mike Loader, Kevin Eav, and RpM

Erica: Of whom we don't care about.

- Susan Doenime, the Fanfic Writer of Fleet Street
Brisbane, U of Q
"I hit the streets / They watched me in the monitor..."

Petes: Those poor streets.

		***	***	***	***	***	***	***

Petes: This has given us some ideas for sequils like 
Shampoo can cook (peaking duck)
Erica: Akari can cook (smoked ham)
Petes: Kasumi can cook ('Tofu' burgers)
Erica: Nakoda can cook... err, I have no idea.
Petes: How about Genma and Soun can cook (Happymeals)
Erica: Well while I hurl violently Petes can say goodbye *Hurgggg*
Petes: Goodbye!!!

[This fic has been MSTed by Petes-kun. No Raccon-girls were hurt in the
making of this MSTing.]


---Petes-kun
Founder of the SCG
Current Emperor of Jurai
Hoarder of Ranma hentai! H_H
http://www.angelfire.com/mo/scgcompound/index.html
"POW!!!" -Beastie Boys