Just a pernicious idea for anyone to expand into an actual lemon....

		FOUR IN THE HOLE
		(I disclaim this entire thing)

	The four young men were trapped.  Only moments after they'd been 
transported to this place, wherever it was, the ceiling of the cave had 
collapsed, sealing them in.  A phosphorescent moss provided a faint 
light, enough to see by.
	Maze was working at the pile of rubble blocking the entrance.  
They'd found by unpleasant experience that there was room for only one 
excavator to operate at a time.  "Anyone got a watch?" he asked.
	"No," answered the other three.
	Ranma shifted uneasily, trying to stay out of Maze's way while 
still avoiding the pool of cold water bubbling at the other end of the 
small cave.
	"At least we won't die of thirst," assured Futaba, trying to keep 
himself calm.  He was amazed he'd been able to keep it together this 
long.  
	"Uh...right," answered Ranma.  "Hey, Junta, you got any ideas?"
	The spiky-haired boy sighed.  "Well, I might be able to do 
something, but I'm not sure."
	"Go on...."
	"Well, it's kind of a secret, so if we get out of here, you have 
to promise not to tell.  And it's not really all that believable, either."
	"Try us," chorused the other three.
	"Well, a while back, I got shot with a DNA bullet by this girl 
from the future, who was trying to stop an overpopulation problem in her 
time.  Ever since, I turn into this `Mega-Playboy' with special powers."  
Junta grinned sheepishly.  "But I can't control the transformations too 
good, and there's some side effects."
	"Sounds reasonable to me," Futaba said, as Ranma nodded.  Maze 
kept up his steady pace of removing rocks.  "Ah...what kind of side 
effects?" 
	Junta blushed.  "Well, I kinda become irresistable to women and 
vice versa.  But that shouldn't be a problem, since we're all guys here, 
right?"
	Everyone nodded, a bit too vigorously if Junta had thought about 
it.  
	"Okay, I'll see if I can pull it off."  Junta concentrated, and 
tried to find the mental trigger that caused his transformation.  
Suddenly, there it was, and he found himself glowing with the golden 
energy of the Mega-Playboy.
	Unfortunately, at that moment, a rock tossed back by Maze from 
the entrance hit the distracted Ranma, knocking him into the pool.
	Ranma got back up, his silk shirt now clinging to his obviously 
female chest.  He started angrily, "Whadja do that f--"  Then caught 
sight of Junta.  His face went slack, and drool came from a corner of his 
mouth.  He shook himself, but it was no use.
	"No, I'm a guy, and I can't feel like this, but I do, and I'll 
probably kill myself when I come to my senses, but right now, JUNTA, MAKE 
ME A WOMAN!" Ranma screamed as he ripped off his clothing and tossed 
himself at the golden-haired boy.
	"Well, if you insist, my dear," the other replied, and they got 
down to some serious nooky.
	Futaba stared, horror-stricken, as the pair performed acts he'd 
only read about in books.  His pulse raced faster and faster, as he 
became more aroused, and soon his own transformation took place.  The 
green-haired female Futaba stripped and joined in.
	"What the fuck!?"  Maze was a bit boggled by the scene that was 
taking place behind him.  He quickly applied himself to clearing more 
rock, and was rewarded with a small hole to the outside.  He could see 
the sky, the golden clouds, and--
	"Oh shit!  It's sun--"


I'm not continuing this....

	Also, I need the Dan Savage pastiche someone wrote a while back, 
so could someon point me at the author?


SKJAM!