Jusenkyo Productions Proudly Presents
A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction
Pain
(EVA is owned by some really creative (And depressed) people, I am not one of them)
It stands there brooding, looking over the cages and the restraints at me. I do not see it though. I do not see the face from man's nightmares, nor the rearing horn. The eyes, now dead, do not even make a small mark in my mind. I only see her. Every time I send it into battle, I know I am really sending her. I do not see Evangelion Unit-01, I see her.
"Yui," I whisper. But she has not replied for many years. The others at NERV consider me cold, hard, and cruel. After all, what kind of father does those things to his son? They do not know, every time I see him, I see only her. Rei is a copy, made from her yes, but only a copy. I have to remember that she is not her, but not often. Every time I see my son however, I remember that day. I don't think that Shinji remembers that day, the day that monster took her from me, the day Seele took her from me.
They will call me a monster for what I am about to do, but is it monstrous to wish an end to pain? To ask for one's soulmate back? I turn my back on Unit-01, but not on her, never on her.
Pain, betrayal, questions, but most importantly, why? I just couldn't understand, just could not understand why she would do this. I saw her fight for the life of this place, for the people here may times. The Major might think that she was only in it for her self, or the EVAs, but I know the truth. She cared, cared for everyone. I worshipped her; I would have died for her. Why did she do it? Why did she try to destroy everything?
"Why?" I ask softly. I had managed to find out where she was and I had tapped into one of the security monitors. I saw her, sitting in the darkness, head bowed. She was� crying. I wished that I could hear what she was saying, no. What I wished was that I could go to her, comfort her. And ask her why? She always had the answers, I know she has them now.
No one can know how it feels. I know that as an absolute, for no one has ever been where I am now. I often think on how the others might see what I am. I know it has been man's dream to be immortal, but none of the others have ever stopped to really think about it. I grow so weary with life and all because I was too stupid to see what was really going on. Now I know what is going on, I know it too well. The others of the committee, of Seele, are surprised at the idea that Ikari is betraying us. I'm not. I knew that he would, I counted on it. The end is near and I welcome it, even if it means that I will be forever lost from the Garden, I will at last be done with this world.
Ikari himself calls me a monster; I am not. I am a cursed man who has more than learned his lesson; a lesson that I pray that mankind will never have to learn, what it is like to live without God.
'I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!'
Where do those thoughts come from? I awake like a sleeper from a deep dream, not knowing where I am, or who.
'I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!'
I� remember now, my son, no� my pilot? I feel strange. I know that the thoughts are those of my sons, but other parts of me say that they are of the designated pilot for Evangelion Unit-01, and must be obeyed. But, then� that means� I'm EVA-01? But, how� I do not remember.
"Misato! Asuka! Please!! Father."
My son is crying, he is in pain, why is he in pain? I know now, I can see why. Angels! Part of me responds, programs saying how to spread an AT Field, and how to fight. Another part of me wants with a longing so terrible. Knowing that it fights its brothers. But all I care about is that my son is in pain. Older responses come into play, ones that have put mothers between their offspring and danger for more years than countable. I respond to my son's pain. I feel my body responding also, fighting, twisting, and tearing.
Then the hole opens up, I feel myself sucked down into it. Back into the darkness of sleep. I hear one last though, one last sound.
"Mother," Shinji whispers.
End
Authors notes:
I just decided to take a look at some of the EVA cast who don't get those deep fics written about them. (i.e. I'm still having trouble coming up with a good beginning for Journal of the Ages: Ranma ch2) I wish I could write more, but as they are not major people in the scheme of things� (OK, I know that's not true with Unit-01 and Gendou) Still� Or it could just be that it's a warm summer afternoon and I'm trapped in the computer lab. In any case, please, tear this sucker apart. C&C it to death. This is a very rough draft, and I might just make use of it so I will need input on it.
JG
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Here sir we come to famous training ground of accursed springs
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|Guide of the training grounds|Ranma 1/2, Tenchi Muyo, BGC, |
|of accursed springs, 8th |AMG, Tank Police, Gall Force, |
|Disciple of Eriond, and proud|YUA, GitS, ADP, Evangelion |
| member of the #SkAS# |Project A-ko, UY, VPM, BGC! |
|--------http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/6549 ----------------|
|Akane, Linna, Washu, Nene, |Nene showed Mackie just how |
|Skuld, Belldandy, Kiyone |much she knew. Winter Blossoms|
---------------------------Jusenkyo---------------------------
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