What's in a Name?



    "Coming from China with Ranma, arriving on or around 22nd. Saotome."

    At last. He felt the tears starting, but ruthlessly suppressed them.
No time for that now. He'd been waiting for this moment for years, and
now, finally, when it was almost too late, it had come. He frowned. The
groundwork for this would have to be laid carefully, and there wasn't
much time. The 22nd was - today? Damn! He got up and moved to the door.
"Akane!"

    Akane watched her father narrowly. He was nervous, his eyes unable
to meet hers for long before darting off around the room, only to return
to the postcard in his hands. The signs were clear - he was up to
something. "What did you want, Dad?"

    "Ah, yes." He cleared his throat. "An old friend, Genma Saotome,
is coming for a visit with his son, Ranma. They'll be here in the next
day or two, and I was thinking..." his voice trailed off as he wilted
slightly under the sulfurous gaze his daughter was directing at him.

    "You were thinking, 'How nice, some company for Akane?'" she
growled. "Or was it more like, "How nice, an opportunity for a little
matchmaking?'"

    "Akane, I'm just trying to think of your future," he said,
endeavoring to look noble and selfless. The attempt was marred by the
sweat beading his forehead, but she had to give him points for the
effort.

    "Yeah? Well, don't. I'll manage just fine on my own, thanks."

    "But Akane, the continuation of the family line -"

    " - can be handled just fine by my brother," she said, cutting him
off.

    He bit his bottom lip, and hesitated a moment before continuing.
"Well, you see, Akane, the problem is, years ago, before you were born,
Saotome and I agreed that we would unite our families by engaging two of
our children when they were old enough. Since-"

    "You did WHAT?" she shrieked, shooting to her feet. "Are you trying
to tell me you actually engaged me to some boy I've never even met?"

    "Um, well ... yes," he said weakly. "Since Saotome's son, Ranma, is
an only child, and -"

    " - and you only have one daughter, I'm elected," she finished.
Akane closed her eyes and wished, not for the first time, that she could
have had a couple of sisters, instead of her pest of a brother. Growing
up might have been easier, and they certainly would have come in handy
just then. Unfortunately, the deities in charge of granting wishes still
weren't taking her calls. She opened her eyes and stared levelly at her
father. Sitting back down, she placed her hands palm down on the table.
"Sounds like a great plan, Dad," she said, in a voice of such saccharine
sweetness that he winced visibly. "I think you just forgot one tiny
little detail, didn't you? I HATE BOYS!" she shouted.

    Glaring at him, Akane thought to herself, "Not to mention that I'm
already in love with someone. Someone," she thought, her anger changing
to an all too familiar moroseness, "who barely knows I'm alive, and
certainly doesn't feel the same way about me."

    Her father began to speak again, but his words were interrupted by
a pounding on the door. Before she had time to react, she heard her
brother calling out, "I'll get it!" Damn, he'd probably been listening
in again.

    The sound of the opening door was immediately succeeded by a yell
that threatened to make her hair stand on end. Her brother ran into the
room and threw himself behind their father, shouting, "It's a bear! It's
a bear!"

    Akane leaped up and started for the hall, only to stop dead as a
large panda bear walked into the room, carrying a small, bedraggled
figure, which it proceeded to dump on the floor. The figure sprang up
and scowled at the panda, before turning to them and saying in a low
voice, "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."

    Akane stared at the boy who had made such an - unusual - entrance.
He was rather short, several inches shorter than she was, and fairly
good-looking, she supposed. "This is my fiance," she thought. "This is
the boy I've been promised to my whole life." The whole thing was just
too bizarre.

    Her father had evidently decided to ignore the boy's mode of
transport - he'd seen stranger sights, though not many. He embraced
Ranma, saying, "Ranma, my boy! I'm so glad you're here. I've been ...
waiting...." His voice ran down, as the knowledge that something was
very wrong began to register on his conscious mind. He let go of Ranma,
and stepped back, staring dumbly at the boy's chest.

    Akane's brow creased as she tried to figure out what was bothering
her father, but it was her brother who tumbled to the truth first.
Reaching out with one hand, he poked Ranma in the chest, and exclaimed,
"Hey, Ranma's got breasts! She's a girl!"

    "Could you stop that, please?" Ranma said, in a depressed tone.

    Akane started as her view of Ranma suddenly refocused. This wasn't
a short, cute boy before her; it was a short, cute - very cute - girl.
"Knock it off, brat!" she snapped. "She doesn't need you pawing her."
She went on staring at Ranma. Could it be? Could her father really have
- her thoughts were interrupted by a dull thud as her father dropped
limply to the floor in a dead faint. No, he hadn't known.

    Ranma looked up at her, her mouth twitching in a movement so slight
it almost couldn't be called a smile. Akane looked into her eyes, and
her heart lurched within her as she read the feelings there. Anger,
loneliness, sadness verging on despair - emotions she herself was all
too familiar with of late. She wanted to put her arms around the poor
girl and comfort her. She wanted to - do a number of other things, the
mere thought of which started her blushing, and sent her pulse racing.
She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she said,
"Hi, I'm Akane. Akane Kasuga. Wanna be friends?"



    Sigh. This was just supposed to be a spamfic, inspired by the
recent posting of "Love At First Slight." The more I thought about it
though, the more story ideas came flooding into my head, as I considered
the First Family of Espers encountering everyone's favorite group of
super-powered, shapechanging martial artists. Only problem is, if I
write this, I have to do some research. Watching the OAVs again isn't
a problem, but since I believe Akane's other appearances were all
manga-only, this could be a hassle. Sometimes I wish I could stop getting
story ideas until I could finish what I've started. Oh well. Don't hold
your breath for the continuation of "What's in a Name: Too Whimsical
By Half."

Reid Carson
rcarson@mnsinc.com