From: "Kurtis Markuson" <kaldar87@hotmail.com>
To: ffml@fanfic.com
Subject: [FFML] [ffml] [fanfic] [Ranma] Of Wolf and Ranma Pt. 1
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 13:37:38 PDT
Of Wolf and Ranma
Part 1
by Kurt Markuson
Ranma characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi. All others are created
by me. You are welcome to archive this fic, provided you give credit
where credit is due.
Note: This is my first fanfic. Please be charitable in your
evaluations.
I appreciate any and all C&C.
" "=Japanese
< >=English or another language
[ ]=Thoughts
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
<snip fic>
THE BEGINNING
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Like I said before, this is my first fic. I want you, the readers, to
mail me at kaldar87@hotmail.com and tell me what you think. C&C, MST,
RSVP, DOA, SOS, all are welcome. Just remeber, if you have nothing nice
to say, at least say it politely. I want your input, both good and bad.
Is someone OOC? Am I a no-talent hack? Do you have any tips for a
novice
writer? How does Okami rate, in your opinion? Have you figured out the
meaning of Okami's name? It will be up to you, really, to decide if I
continue writing this fic or if I just go back to reading other
people's
fics. I need to ask you though, to send your feedback to me as well as
the FFML, as I am not a subscriber at the moment.
Good job for a first-time out (and better than some of our frequent
posters, too!). Excellent job on editing, as well.
Now, the bad news. Okami is kind of interesting (although we need a
little more info before we can figure him out). However, you've fallen
into a common new-character trap: The Communicative Ranma. Ranma is
not likely to open up to a total stranger about his various
relationships. A far more probable response is, "Don't ask." The fic
would be much stronger if Okami has to figure things out for himself,
over time and through observation (and have a few Takahashi-esque
misunderstandings, as well).
Maybe he winds up thinking that Akane has the hots for Kunou, or
falls for Ukyou's "masculine" outfits. But it is vital for all
residents and visitors to Nerima who are not Kasumi to have convoluted
lives.
This is especially true given that he is already "immunized" against
the other big source of confusion for new characters--Jusenkyo. Since
he himself is cursed, he is unlikely to be flummoxed by the pig, the
duck, the cat and the panda. Having already acquired the "inside track"
on Ranma's love life as well puts him in too stable a position for
Nerima residency.
Also, _please_ do not place him above, say, Kunou or Akane in his
skill level (to start, at least). New characters who are just short of
Ranma (or worse yet, better than he), are just begging for flames and
delete keys. If you want to have him improve beyond that after a while,
that's okay, but he should really never defeat the upper echelon (Happi,
Cologne, Ranma, Mousse, Ryouga, Musk Dynasty, Tarou), save perhaps by a
one-time fluke (which should also lead to a grudge match that leaves him
in serious pain).
Oh, and one point on editing:
"Great. Just great." Okami said out loud to no one in particular.
When a quote ends with a period, and the attribution follows, then
change the period to a comma:
"Great. Just great," Okami said.
If you want, I can send you a complete guide to punctuating quotes.
Looking forward to the rest of it!
--Freemage
P.S. Don't send me mail about how there isn't supposed to be an "S"
after gaijin. I already know that. I kept it there because I like the
way it read.
If my sanity asks, I was never here.
Kurt Markuson
kaldar87@hotmail.com
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