Ranma � created by Rumiko Tashashi, (c) 1993. Used without permission.
This is the final draft (hopefully). Comments, criticisms, "mstings", etc. 
are very much appreciated. I hope you enjoy this 'fic as much as I had 
writing it.
<...> indicates thought. {...} indicates Chinese dialogue. [...] indicates 
words read on a sign.
Up to this point...
		Andrew crash-lands into the Tendo yard after being pursued by Happousai 
thinking he was Akane. No wonder, since Akane and Andrew quickly find out 
that they look alike, and learn from Soun that they were twins. However, 
Soun refuses to tell them who was their real mother, since she could not 
have children.
		In our last chapter/episode, Kasumi and Dr. Tofu discover that some 
forgery has been done on Kasumi's mother's medical files. Furinkan High 
School meets Andrew. Shampoo and Cologne crashes the school during lunch 
time, in an attempt to get Ranma. However, a friend of Andrew's, a dragon 
named Yukio, appears from his magical bag. He and Cologne, two long-lost 
lovers, reunite and fly away in the sunset while the rest of the class 
decide that they oughta get a cold one. Meanwhile, Soun secretly meets with 
a mysterious woman who he tells about Andrew's return. Confused? Bored? You 
won't be after this episode of "Oh, Brother!"
------
("Oh, Brother!" Opening Theme Song: "Jugyouchuu no Shougakkou" aka "In the 
Middle of Class of Elementary School.")
Episode 3: "Oh, my!"
(It is the next day. Andrew is alone. Ranma-chan enters into the home.)
Andrew: Oh, hello. Are you here on business? Nabiki Tendo is not available 
right now.
Ranma-chan: Um...
(Nodoka walks in from the outside.)
Nodoka: Ranko, Akane, how are you doing?
Andrew: Who's Ranko?
(Nodoka touches Andrew's head and sniffs it.) Has someone been messing up 
your mind? Like with some Shampoo.
Ranma-chan (in that girly-dizzy voice): Oh, Auntie Saotome! This isn't Akane!
Nodoka: This isn't?
Andrew: Uh, Saotome, right? You're (Ranma-chan kicks Andrew in the groin.) 
---urk!
Nodoka: Ranko! It's not lady-like to hit a girl like that? What's you're 
name, dear girl?
Andrew: I'm...not...a...girl...(He falls over.)
Nodoka: She's not a girl? Are you one of those transvestites like Tsubasa?
Ranma-chan: Oh, ah, yeah. (Andrew glares at him.) Wait, I mean no! He's 
Akane's brother.
Nodoka: Brother...that's rather...wahahahaha! (Nodoka falls over, laughs, 
and rolls on the floor.)
Ranma-chan: Uh, Auntie Saotome...
Nodoka: Next thing you'll tell is that you're a guy!
Ranma-chan:... (Andrew gets up. He checks himself over.)
Andrew: Ow...(turns to Ranma-chan, Soun's patent Big-Head mode on) Girl, 
don't hit me in the nuts, okay? (Ranma-chan falls over. Andrew's Big-Head 
mode is turned off. He glares at Ranma-chan.)
Nodoka: Well, you do seem to be related to the Tendo family. Are you really 
Akane's brother?
Andrew: Well, yeah. I'm her twin brother.
Nodoka: Then how come I haven't seen you around here?
Andrew: I've just came here yesterday.
Ranma-chan: Auntie Saotome, have you seen Akane, lately?
Nodoka: No, not really. By the way, where is Mr. Panda?
Ranma-chan: Um, I'm not sure.
Nodoka: I see. So, have you been with Ranko, Andrew?
Andrew: I have no idea what you're talking about. I just found out that Soun 
is my real father.
Nodoka: Oh, then I guess you wouldn't have known that Ranko is your cousin.
Andrew: WHAT? Cousin? (We hear steps coming down.)
Akane's voice: Hey! Can someone please... (We see Akane appear.) Oh, Ranko! 
Auntie Saotome! I see you've met my brother, Andrew-kun. (Nodoka looks 
confused seeing Akane & Andrew.)
Nodoka: But...you...and you...uuuhhh! (Nodoka faints.)
Akane: Hmm. She took it better than I thought.
Ranma-chan: You said it.
Andrew (turns around to Ranma-chan): So, you're my cousin? Ranko, right?
(Ranma-chan and Akane look at each other. They both big-sweat a bit.)
Akane: Uh...yeah.
Ranma-chan: Akane, can we talk for a second, in private?
Akane: Sure. How about in the kitchen?
Andrew: Wait, not in there! (Suddenly, the kitchen explodes.)

Ranma-chan: Let me guess, you were making something?
Andrew: A souffle.
Akane: Well, it can't be that bad. (The souffle starts to seep into the 
living room like those Lava-Men you'd see in D&D the Cartoon or some really 
bad Sci-fi B-movie. You know, the kind that would be MSTed on MST3K?)
Andrew: Maybe I shouldn't have put the baking soda into the souffle. 
(Ranma-chan face-faults.)
******
(The scene shifts to Nabiki and Kasumi, who are grocery shopping.)
Nabiki: It's rather strange that Father hasn't come back by now, Oneechan.
Kasumi: I do hope he's alright. Because (shouting, big-head mode on.) I want 
to rip his guts out and force feed it to his face!!! (Big-head mode off.She 
looks as everyone in the shopping mall has turned and looked at Kasumi. She 
blushes. As everyone backs away from Kasumi...)
Nabiki: You have taken this rather hard, Kasumi.
Kasumi (looking strangely at Nabiki): And you haven't?
Nabiki: Well, I'm not surprised, but I am rather intrigued. If our real 
mother is still alive, then I'd like to know who she was.
Kasumi: Nabiki!
Nabiki: Well, I can't help myself! Speaking of help, look who's coming.
(We see Shampoo looking around, with a basket.)
Shampoo: Oh, hello Nice Woman and Scheaming Girl!
Nabiki: For once, I'd like to you to call us by our right names.
Shampoo: Okay, I love you both, bie bie! (Nabiki and Kasumi blink in 
confusion.) (muttering) Next time Shampoo must approve script or writer 
dies! (to Nabiki & Kasumi) Where's Violent girl and her brother?
Kasumi: If I recall, they were cooking at home.
Nabiki: What?!
Shampoo: What, two bad cooks?
Nabiki: Oh, Kami-sama! The house must be on fire!
(We quickly see Akane, Andrew, and Ranma-chan looking on as fire-fighters 
fight the kitchen fire and the living souffle. The fire-fighters are losing.)
Andrew: Okay, so my souffles are fire-demons. How was I suppose to know that 
the cooking oil I was using was Kerosol and Gasoline, anyway? Who labels 
these things anyway? (Akane blushes. Andrew scowls at Akane.) I see.
Ranma-chan: How come it didn't explode right away when you put it in the oven?
Andrew: There's a delay-time mechanism on the oven. The directions said that 
the souffle needs to settle before cooking. I figured fifteen minutes was 
enough.
Akane: When our oneechans come back from shopping, they're gonna kill us.
Andrew: Don't blame me! Kasumi said we'd have to get our own dinners.
(Fire-fighters come back limping. One fire-fighter is being carried out, 
he's unconscious, and his helmet is crushed in.)
Ranma-chan: I see they've stumbled on your one-pound meatloafs, Akane. 
(Akane glares at Ranma-chan.)
(It's sometime later. We see Ranma, Andrew, Akane, Kasumi, Nabiki, and 
Shampoo eating at a Thai restaraunt in Tokyo. They are sitting in one of 
those seats that suround around a table. Andrew does a bit of figuring on 
TI-92 calcuator.)
Akane: Kasumi, did you have to invite Shampoo to dinner?
Kasumi: Oh, yes, Akane. She helped me get a great deal on a kitana.
(Akane looks at a cat-like grinning Shampoo, nervously.)
Nabiki: How much will a new kitchen cost us, bro?
Andrew: I'm working on it. Do you realize how much a new dishwasher cost 
around here?
Nabiki: Yeah. That's partly why you're paying for the new kitchen. And for 
dinner. (Andrew groans.)
Ranma: Say, isn't that Soun over there?
(They turn to see Soun talking to the Woman. She's still in the shadow.)
Nabiki (whispering): Yup. Say, who's the woman?
Akane (whispering): I've never seen her before.
(Soun and the Woman finish their dinner and head to the front of the table. 
The Woman now appears for the first time. She looks like an slightly older 
version Kasumi with Purple Hair. Shampoo gasps.)
Shampoo (whispering): Aie! It's Shampoo's mother!
Ranma (whispering): Your mother? What's she doing here?
Shampoo(whispering): Shampoo not know. Shampoo also puzzled why there are no 
guards around Mother.
Ranma (whispering; aren't you tired of that?): She's Queen of the Amazons, 
right? (Shampoo nods "yes." Soun and the Woman stand in front of them. The 

way the restaurant is designed, the round-bar seats are towards the door, so 
Soun and the Woman does not see that they are being ease-dropped. Shampoo, 
Ranma, Akane, Andrew, Kausmi, & Nabiki listen intently.)
Soun: So, my dear friend, when are you "officially" to be in Japan?
Shampoo's Mother (SM): As soon as the Amazon Village has been completely 
moved away from China. Until then, no one is suppose to know about my 
existance here.
Soun: Oh, yes, to that island in the South Pacific you were talking about. 
(Shampoo gets this big-eyes look.)
SM: We must keep this away from my great-grandmother. She's the only one 
that would strictly object to my intentions. I bet she doesn't even know 
about the financial plans on turning the Amazon Village into a resort. 
Hopefully, this will bring in customers and husbands.
Soun: Do you miss your sister?
SM (weeping): I do. She has done very well with our children, and I expect 
Kasumi to be so much like her.
Soun: What about your other daughter...and you know, the claim that I was 
mentioning about?
SM: It is something that I should expect she and your youngest daughter to 
work out on their owns. Hopefully by some sociable means.
Soun: In other words, you expect a lawsuit.
SM: Oh, yeah. Big time. (Shampoo and Akane nervously smile at each other.)
Soun: I see. How about dinner tomorrow night at my place? I've concocted a 
scheme that should keep our children busy.
SM: Even for Shampoo?
Soun: Even for Shampoo. I've been working on that passion spice variant that 
you were telling me about in your last letter.
SM: And how is it?
Soun: If this doesn't get people falling in love, I don't know what would.
SM: So, it does work.
Soun: Of course. I got this oni name Lum and this fellow name Ataru to try it.
(Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki bug-out. Shampoo breaks her chopsticks. Kasumi and 
Andrew blush.)
SM: That's quite alright. How long were they like that?
Soun: They're still on it. The one I'm making for our children should only 
be for a few days. Including Shampoo.
(Andrew and Akane mouth out the words, "A FEW DAYS?!")
SM: I wouldn't make it that long.
Soun: I don't how to make it any shorter.
SM: Oh. Well, shall we head back home?
Soun: Uh, sure.
SM: By the way, where did you send the panda to?
Soun: Gen...oh the Panda! He's heading to the National Zoo in Washington 
D.C. They really need a male panda for them to use as as mating partner. 
They paid top yen for him. (Shampoo's Mother pouts at him.) How else was I 
suppose to pay for this meal?
(Ranma falls over. Andrew's chopsticks breaks. Everyone else has
face-faulted.)
SM: I see. Well, shall we go?
Soun: Absolutely, my darling Queen Shower.
Shower: Hush, hush, don't call me Queen. Besides, we still need to talk 
about you being my Prince-Consort.
Soun: You know I would.
Shower: Of course I know. But, I still need to tell you all of the details 
that this involves, especially the wedding. (Soun and Shower stroll out of 
the restaurant, arm in arm. Everyone that has been ease-dropping look at 
each other.)
Shampoo(looking confused): Mother's dating Violent Girl's Father...
Kasumi (angrily):...no, that's our mother...
Nabiki: ...and Cologne would be our great-grandmother...
Ranma: ...and your father sold my father to the San Diego Zoo...
Andrew (looks completely stunned): ...and...and a wedding...
Akane: ...and Shampoo and I are...step-sisters? Oh, no...
Everyone, but Ranma: ...Aieee! We're all related! (Ranma slaps himself.)
Ranma: Great. It seems that I can't get away from _any_ Chinese Amazons. 
Just my luck.(The Tendos and Shampoo glare at Ranma. Ranma starts to 
big-sweat.) Wait. I-I-I didn't mean that...really! Eep! (The scene fades as 
there is a lot of sounds of fighting.)
----
("Oh, Brother!" Ending Theme Song: "MMMBop.")
--------
Author's Notes:
		Hello! How's the fan-fic going? Like I said in the introduction, I really 
would appreicate any comments, MSTings, etc. that you have for this series.