I'm not sure if I actually posted this one or not... pretty sure not,
but if I did, call it a repost. ^_^;

-=-

                     SPOOF CHASE PRODUCTIONS
                 (http://spoof.maison-otaku.net/)
                            PRESENTS...

                        Slayers REFLECT :
                            Episode 7
                     Surf Chimeras Must Die!

       A Slayers Fanfic Series by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

     (Almost all characters copyright H. Kanzaka / R. Araizumi,
     obviously.  If I ever even considered claiming that these
     were my own characters I'd probably be thrown into a small
     cell where I'd be forced to eat my own garage kits to live.)

         --> Read the enhanced hypertext version at <--
             --> http://pixelscapes.com/slayers <--

-=-

    If elephants could stampede through your head and play soccer with
your eyeballs, it would feel very similar to how Xelloss felt after Dayvid
clocked him with the shovel.
    "Ow," Xelloss said, without much emotion.  "Dayvid-kun, that wasn't
very nice."
    "Neither is ditching me and mom for ten years!" Dayvid said, waving the
shovel menacingly.  "Where have you BEEN?  Not that I care, since you were
a lousy father and probably responsible for most of my personality defects,
but I'm curious in a violent way!"
    "That is a secret," Xelloss smiled.  "Afraid I shouldn't really say."
    "A SECRET?" Dayvid exclaimed.  "You can take that secret and shove it
up your--"
    "Whoa, whoa!!" Amelia interjected, feeling the tug of justice and
compassion, or possibly just resonating with the vibes of a million
officers of justice who have to deal with domestic disputes each day.
"There's no need for arguing.  Everybody should just calm down, and take
deeeeeeep breaths... air in, air out... air in... air out...."
    Dayvid's breathing calmed somewhat.  Xelloss hadn't so much as panicked
since the incident started.
    "Therrre, that's better," Amelia smiled.  "Now.  Dayvid-san, why don't
you tell Xelloss-san how you really feel?"
    The ship's captain nodded.  "Okay.  Dad... I... um..."
    "Yes, boy?" Xelloss smiled.
    CLANG.
    "Sorry," Dayvid said, putting the shovel away.  "I couldn't think of
anything to say in words."
    Xelloss popped up again, despite having a black eye and a little bump
with a bandaid poking out of his head.  "It's okay.  Perfectly reasonable
response after my sudden disappearance.  Wouldn't expect anything less.  I
suppose I ought to tell you, boy, even if it means dropping my enigmatic
act a moment..."
    "Forget where he's BEEN," Zelgadis said, shifting into gear in the
discussion track.  "I'd love to know how this happened in the FIRST place.
A Mazoku having a kid?"
    "...a what?" Dayvid asked.
    "Ohhh dear, Zel-kun let the snarling sabretoothed tiger out of the
bag," Xelloss slightly nervously said.  "Perhaps I should do the talking
for a little while, then maybe another beating, a reconciliation and we'll
all feel better and can get on with things, mmm?"
    "It'd be a start," Zelgadis said, leaning against the nearest wall.
    Xelloss had a seat somewhere, assuming the posture of the village
storyteller.  "It's quite simple, really.  I was on vacation for a few
decades since nothing was really going on in the family business, so to
speak, and my employer had no use for me.  I met this lovely girl at a
musical concerto, and we got along quite well.  A year later Dayvid was
born, I taught him how to play catch and tried to teach him a little black
magic, which he never really took to since he was more interested in that
strange 'science' stuff.  After a few years I got called away on business
and had to split, cutting my vacation short.  Terribly sorry about that,
but hey, that's life, yes?  Oh, and I'm also a Mazoku, but that doesn't
mean I'm a bad person."
    Dayvid soaked the abbreviated life's history slowly, like one of those
business cards lawyers give you that turn into sponges in water.
    "So.... I'm a half-Mazoku near orphan who wants to be a scientist?"
Dayvid summarized.
    "I'd have preferred you being a black sorcerer, but you seem to have a
nice little career here, Dayvid-kun," Xelloss said.  "I'm so proud of you!
Ah, please put down the shovel..."
    Amelia did her best to restrain him.  "Dayvid, please!  This isn't
helping anything!"
    "It's a cathartic release of pent up psychological angst!" Dayvid
explained, trying to push past the princess.  "It's very scientific!  I
read about it last month!  And I want to kick his ass, too!!"
    Zelgadis shook his head, and went for the door.  "I'll be on the Lito
Deck," he said.  "Come on up once this silliness is over."

                                    [*]

    Annoyances.  Annoyances all.
    Zelgadis watched the ocean's horizon, as he tried to ignore the
clanging and clamoring below decks.  He stood at maximum irritation, arms
crossed, a slight scowl.  Even if nobody was around to read his body
language, he damn well wanted to make it clear to the fish that he wasn't
in a good mood.
    In fact, his mood had been foul throughout this ocean trip.  The
reasons why were very simple; they were Amelia and Xelloss.  Naturally,
instead of being teamed up with Lina, who was competent and resourceful and
not bad company for the most part, he was stuck with the most juvenile
rejects of their little traveling gang.  Amelia's idealism sank them in hot
water plenty of times, and Xelloss seemed to delight in leading the group
directly into boiling water.  And they both smiled entirely too much and
too often for Zelgadis's tastes.  Mind you, Lina could be a pain too, since
she lacked any sense of responsibility, but these people...
    They just couldn't take anything SERIOUSLY!  And when they did, they
botched it up completely!  This was his merry band of adventurers?  He
briefly considered jumping ship and going to seek the Lake of Reflections
on his own, but wiser thoughts prevailed.  Just because his companions were
getting under his skin didn't mean he should lose HIS cool.  He had to
maintain a reasonable mind in a ship of fools if he wanted the group to
survive this ordeal.
    The noises had quieted down, meaning either father and son had reached
some agreement, or Xelloss was a pulpy mess, either of which were fine with
him.  Sure, the trickster priest may smile a lot and talk nicely and charm
the socks off Lina -- who, despite being reasonable, had plenty of moments
of gullibility and outlandish risk-taking -- but Zelgadis trusted Xelloss
as far as he could spit a rat.  As far as he could toss a tree.  As far as
he could do the six inch dash.  As far as other things very short.
    Yeah.  Definitely a foul mood for this chimera, Zel thought.  Not that
he was always this moody, really.  His tune didn't change drastically until
the day he stopped being a human...
    The hatch leading below decks flopped open, with Dayvid climbing out in
a half-huff.  He had calmed considerably, sheepishly taking a place near
the mast, as Amelia dragged a horribly bruised mass up the ladder.
    "No, no, it's not a problem," the living corpse said.  "I'll be fine in
a little while.  It's good to work out your frustrations, Dayvid-kun!  Get
that blood flowing!  It's good for the circulation, too..."
    Dayvid, who had never beaten someone like a rug before, much less have
the rug thank them for it after, nodded quietly.  Somehow, his catharsis
wasn't what he was expecting.  It could communicate clearly afterwards, for
starters.
    "Don't worry, Xelloss-san!  I know... grrh, you're heavy... good white
magic!" Amelia said, depositing Xelloss on the ship's deck.  "I'll have you
patched up in no time!"
    "Not required, but I really do appreciate the sentiment," Xelloss
coughed, blinking through two black eyes.  "If I... oh my gosh, look over
there!  A three headed monkey!"
    The others turned to look, falling for the momentary ruse.  Even
Zelgadis fell for it.
    Zel looked back quickly, though.  "I don't see a--"
    Xelloss dusted off his robes, fully healed and restored.  "Hmm?"
    "Never mind," Zelgadis said sourly.

                                    [*]

    Dayvid pumped the bellows on his bizarre machine, channeling heated
steam through it.  The room was already a sweathouse, the map he had tacked
down to the table starting to curl at the edges, as Amelia reached melting
point.
    "A mountain off to the left, a river channeling around the mountain
like a moat," Xelloss described.  "I remember it vividly.  Of course,
Silverquick decided to be a meanie and lock the actual Lake of Reflections
away from Mazoku, but the vicinity was probed extensively by us..."
    Dayvid tapped a few more keys.  "The Makes-Math-And-Logic-Go-Faster'll
track the topography of the land and get us the nearest match in
Justivalero.  Shouldn't take too long."
    "The Makes-Math-And-What?" Amelia asked.
    "I haven't come up with a good name for it yet," Dayvid admitted.
"It's my own invention.  It's sort of a box that you punch instructions
into with these keys, and after some time, it plots out the answer with the
reptile interface."
    Zelgadis eyed the reptile interface, which was squatting off to the
side of a map and attached to a flexible wooden arm.  It slept soundly.
"That turtle, you mean?"
    "Yeah, it plots out the answer based on the sequence," Dayvid
explained.  "Once I make the Makes-Math-And-Logic-Go-Faster go faster,
ships won't need navigators anymore!  Kingdoms can track their expenses
with ease, and people will work more efficiently!"
    "Except for needing to pump bellows all day to get it to run, of
course," Zelgadis pointed out.
    "Err... except for that, yes.  There's still a few kinks, you see--"
    The wooden arm jerked slightly, waking the turtle up.  Steam whistled
as the critter... very... slowly... crawled across the map, clutching a wax
crayon in its beak, and eventually made a tiny circle around a small part
near the shore of Justivalero.
    "Eureka!" Dayvid smiled, letting go of the bellows.  "That's where the
Lake is.  And it's near civilization!  All we have to do is adjust course,
and we'll be there in a matter of hours."
    Amelia took one of Dayvid's Makes-Things-Much-Bigger lenses, and
examined the dinky circle.  "Ano, there's a town or something here..."
    "Funny, the place was an abandoned wilderness last time I was there,"
Xelloss mused.  "What could the funny humans have put up in that harsh
environment?"
    "The HappyWorld Water Amusement Family Park," Amelia read, from the
map.

                                    [*]

    The SS Guppy creeped towards the man-made harbor, like a baby curiously
seeking a bright shiny object.
    Bright and shiny weren't even sufficient to describe HappyWorld.  It
GLEAMED.  The sun reflected off shining towers, raising like holy towers
towards the heavens, each with a number of twisted waterslides.  Flags were
everywhere, with the smiling, perfect cartoon face of the HappyWorld
mascot, Bouncy Bunny.  The laugher of organized children's play filled the
air, along with precisely timed upbeat organ music.  Stray balloons wafted
in the breeze, until snipers shot them down for cluttering the sky.
    A sign strung between two poles, greeting the ship as it drifted into
the bay, read 'WELL COME! YOU MUST ENJOY YOUR TIME AT HAPPYWORLD'.
    "This scares me," Zelgadis felt like saying.
    "That's funny, this wasn't here last time," Xelloss said.  "I think I'd
have remembered.  Yes, this is not the sort of thing I could ever forget,
no matter how hard I tried."
    But Amelia's reaction was different.
    "WOW!!!  A fun park!" she squealed.  "I've heard of these!  I always
wanted to go to one, but father said a princess shouldn't visit a common
attraction.  Can we go pleased please huh can we go huh please??"
    "We're not here to play," Zelgadis reminded, turning his back on the
monstrosity of ivory and bright, cheerful paints.  "We're here to find the
Lake of Reflections.  Which is somewhere in that mess.  We'll split up, and
investigate the park in teams, and meet back at the main gates by.....
what's that look for, Mazoku?"
    Xelloss's really, really wide smile continued.  "Oh, nothing... I was
just wondering if you were forgetting our little run in with the long
twisted arm of the law?  Our happy faces are not likely to be welcome in
HappyWorld.  Perhaps disguises are in order before we go traipsing off for
frolic in the sun?  Particularly for our stony friend here."
    "Oh, right," Amelia nodded.  "Good thinking, Xelloss-san!  Ano, but how
do we make disguises?"
    Dayvid, who had remained relatively quiet, interrupted.  "I think I can
mix up a chemical makeup base which will effectively change Zelgadis's skin
tone and cover the bumps, and I definitely can cook up a phytoalkaline
which will change hair color--"
    "Not required," Xelloss said.  "Observe.  Ahem... 'image which changes,
image which defies, cast your light shadow... Disguise Image!'"
    A brief shimmer of light played over the four present, and faded.
Amelia now had a pair of cute pigtails and blonde hair, Dayvid looked a bit
older with purple hair like Xelloss's (who opted to look more like Dayvid),
and Zel...
    Zelgadis crossed her arms under her ample bosom and scowled with pert,
lush red lips.  "Very funny."
    "It is, isn't it?" Xelloss said, giggling.
    Snapping his fingers into a brief Flow Break, Zelgadis removed the
disguise, back to his good 'ol blue self.  "Forget it.  I'll infiltrate the
park on my own and find a suitable disguise.  We don't have time for
childish games."
    He stepped up on the railing, snapped a Raywing spell in place, and
skulked along the ocean, disappearing between two ships.
    "And off he goes," Xelloss said.  "Well.  Now that we've managed to get
Zel-kun to head off and do the searching on his own, how about if we go
enjoy a nice swim and wait for him to return, mmm?"
    "Uh... shouldn't we be looking too?" Amelia said.
    "Why, nonsense!  Correct me if I'm wrong, Dayvid-kun, but we're
actually a day or two ahead of schedule.  Yes?"
    "Well... yeah..." Dayvid said.  "Since I managed to invent a new kind
of screw-engine for the Guppy, we've picked up time, but I don't see why--"
    "Simplicity itself!" Xelloss said simply.  "If Zel doesn't manage to
find it, we'll all head off and search search search tomorrow and surely
find it.  Why not enjoy the time we've won for ourselves?  Amelia-chan, you
SAID you've always wanted to visit a fun park..."
    "I guess, but.. I mean..." Amelia said, her resolve weakening.  "I
suppose it couldn't hurt to... look for the lake around the swimming pool.
And the gift shops and restaurants and stuff.  It's part of the
investigative process while In Cog Nee Toh, right?"
    "Such genius at such an age!" Xelloss exclaimed, clasping his hands in
delight.  "Blessed youth!  You are truly gifted with a leader's insight,
Amelia-chan."
    Amelia glowed with pride from the praise, like a
Makes-Rooms-Get-Brighter.

                                    [*]

    Fools!  Fools, all!
    Zelgadis drifted between the docks, careful to stay out of sight.  Here
they were on a serious assignment, and they wanted to party hardy and waste
time!  Whatever.  Let them waste time; Zelgadis always prevailed when he
was more determined, and he was always good at being determined.
    Step one was to locate a disguise.  There were the yachts of the rich,
which likely wouldn't have anything that could hide his skin.  Besides, it
was an aquatic fun park, and most of the people he spotted walking along
were wearing swimsuits; he couldn't skulk around in a full body cloak and
not expect to draw comment.  What else would work?
    At the main gates the park, his answer was busy cheerfully greeting
tourists.
    In a way, he was glad that the others weren't with him; he'd probably
drop dead of embarrassment.  But he wasn't about to let something as stupid
as that stop him.
    He waited for his designated victim to finish talking with some
adorable little children, as the thing went about waving and jumping around
in an absurd way.  Once the kids were gone, thankfully, the person walked
over near some bushes for a breather.
    Zel grabbed the fluffy ankles and pulled the guy behind some cover.  A
scuffle broke out, over quick.
    Easier than I was expecting, Zelgadis thought, as he put on the bunny
suit.

                                    [*]

    "*Well Come to HappyWorld,*" a gruff voice with a Justivaleroian accent
spoke, from a magical audio projector.  "*You will take place in line and
wait for ticket.  Do not push ahead of line.  Do not leave line once in
line.  Failure to follow these guidelines will result in denial of
admittance.  You will have fun inside.  That is all.  Well Come to
Happyworld.  You will take place in line and...*"
    Xelloss twiddled his thumbs, as the line crawled forward.
    "Boy, this place must be popular," Amelia said.  "There's like two
hundred people ahead of us in line!"
    "I'll give Justivaleroians one thing, they know how to have a good
time," Xelloss said.  "They know exactly how to have one and every step
involved, that is.  I suppose you two will be needing swimwear?"
    "I don't swim," Dayvid said plainly.
    "Awww, what's the fun in that?" Xelloss pouted.  "Come on, son, I'll
teach you how once we're in--"
    "I didn't say I can't swim, I just don't, DAD," Dayvid said.
    "Bitter, aren't we?  Don't worry.  We'll have some fun even if it kills
us!" Xelloss laughed.
    The line inched forward.
    Flipping open the park map in boredom, Amelia read some of the
promotional print on the primitive leaflet.  "Well Come to HappyWorld.  We
have five restaurants and five waterslides around one large wave pool.
While in the pool, obey the following mandates : no running above a jog, no
throwing sand, no splashing water to excess, no bath toys, no surfboards
without permit, no spitting, no fighting, no cooking barbecue, no... ano...
there's a lot of 'No's here."
    "No, really?" Xelloss said.  "Amazing."
    The line inched forward again.
    A few minutes later, the line inched forward.
    It did the same thing a moment or three after that.
    And again.
    "My feet are getting tired," Amelia complained.
    Time passed.
    A volcano erupted and poured molten lava all over a nearby village in a
horrifying cataclysmic disaster, but that was somewhere else.
    More time passed.
    "This is starting to lose its amusement value," Xelloss noted, his
smile having dropped two notches.  "Hmm.  Ah, I have an idea.  Watch
closely, kids, this could be fun."
    "An idea?" Dayvid asked, suspicious.  "What're you--"
    "Dark king of madness, spread like thin butter on the mind... Mass
Confuse!" Xelloss chanted quickly, rapping his staff twice on the dock.
    At first, nothing seemed to happen.  Then large clumps of people in the
line started to wander off, looking dazed and frightened; the ones that
stepped outside the clearly delineated white guides on the ground
immediately were hustled off by crack teams of Fun Park Gestapo, wearing
happy yellow chain mail.  The unruly mob was out of sight within fifteen
seconds flat, leaving Xelloss, Amelia and Dayvid standing alone on the
docks, with a clear path straight up to the main gates.
    "Ah," Xelloss smiled.  "A marvel of efficiency, Justivalero.  Shall we
proceed to the ticket window?"
    "Hey!  What'd I say about funny business, Xelloss-san?" Amelia warned.
    "Tolerable if it helps the mission," Xelloss lied.
    "Exactly!  I said... ano?  But I don't think I said it that way--"
    "Fun waits for no one!" Xelloss said, strolling over to the gate.
"Come along, come along."

                                    [*]

    Bouncy Bunny waddled along the sidewalk, occasionally stumbling over
his floppy fuzzy funny feet.  If you listen close enough, you can hear him
swearing like a sailor under his breach, whiskers twitching, one ear
flopped over his face.
    A young tyke wandered up to Bouncy Bunny, towing a perfectly orderly
formation of little souvenir wooden ducks on wheels behind him.
    "You're Bouncy Bunny, aren't you?"
    "Beat it, kid," the happy slappy rabbity fun mascot suggested.
    "I've seen pictures of you eating growing carrots and teaching children
about nutrition," the boy said.  "Is it true that vegetables are good for
your eyes?"
    "What answer would you prefer?"
    "I'd like it to be true, because mum's always saying if I don't eat my
vegetables I'll lose my sight because she'll lock me in the basement for a
week."
    "In that case, yes.  Eat as many vegetables as you can.  Whurffle,"
Bouncy Bunny said, looking for the nearest exit.
    "Whurffle?"
    "Yeah, whurffle.  Rabbits make that sound, right?"
    "No, they sort of go wuffle.  No Hur," the boy said.  "You're not a
very good Bouncy Bunny, are you?"
    Bouncy Bunny glared down at the annoying brat.  "I just got hired
today, okay?  Give a mammal a break.  If you'll excuse me, I need to visit
the smallest hutch, so..."
    "I should report you for being an improper bunny," the boy smiled.
"They give you candy if you report someone breaking the rules and mum
doesn't give me any candy."
    Bouncy Bunny sweatdropped.  "Is that so... well... wait right here."
    The rabbit fluffy wuffy bouncie wouncied down the sidewalk, reaching
one of the many sidewalk food vendors.  He dug into his costume and brought
out a silver or two, and bounced back to the kid with a giant bunny head
lollipop.
    "Here, suck that," Bouncy said, handing the confection over.
    "Eww, yuck.  There's some fur on it."
    "It's free candy, kid, you get what you pay for."
    Bored by the exchange as young'ns frequently are when there are no
bright shiny objects around, the kid wandered off towards the Cone of
Tragedy, plucking white hairs off his lolly.
    Zelgadis breathed a sigh of relief.  He hadn't counted on the absurdly
strict nature of this apparently funpark, and all these miniature humans
that kept bugging him to tell them a story or dance around singing.  He
tried to be as inconspicuous as a six foot tall white rabbit can, and
slipped through the crowds.  Somewhere around here there'd be a lake; above
ground or underground, and it'd have to be somewhere nobody else went, or
it'd have been found already.
    He just hoped he'd find it before he had to sing that damn 'Joy Happy
Joy Happy' song again.

                                    [*]

    Surf 'n Sand Gift Shop was identical to East Wavepool Gifts, Sunken
Treasures and Shop Here Because It Is Good.  In fact, every single one of
the stores in Happy World were stamped out of the same cookie cutter,
strictly dictated in terms of architecture and content.  There were always
five of every item on the shelves, and a clerk would dash to replenish the
supply when something was purchased.
    Xelloss had a great deal of fun with this, picking up random items and
wandering around the store, exuding an aura of consumer readiness.  Then
he'd watch in the security mirrors as some poor sod ran himself ragged
trying to adjust the store contents... after which Xelloss would put the
item back, making the clerk remove one item to maintain the five count.  It
was a great deal of fun.
    "That's amazingly cruel, you know," Dayvid pointed out, once he had
caught on.
    "Ah!  You noticed!" Xelloss smiled.  "I always knew you were a clever
lad.  Very bright.  Remember that time I helped you set up a lemonade stand
with some of my special lemon mix?"
    "If I knew what the word 'narcotic' meant at that age, I'd never have
done it," Dayvid muttered.  "You just love watching people suffering, don't
you?"
    "Well, of course," Xelloss admitted freely.  "I'm a Mazoku.  It goes
with the territory, can't be helped, to be honest.  But don't get me wrong,
I can be a nice guy too.  Didn't your little stand make six hundred gold
that day?"
    "That doesn't count!  Name ONE way in which you've ever been nice
whatsoever!"
    "That is a secret."
    "Hmph.  See?"
    "...but, I will be very nice for you right now," Xelloss said.  "And
point out that you're starting to get a crush on that nice girl from
Sailoon.  Mmm?"
    The younger one stared at Xelloss as if he had grown three heads and a
tail.  "What??"
    "Oh, I'm sure you haven't realized it yet.  Those involved never pick
up on it, but take it from an expert on human emotional reactions, you're
going to start entertaining the notion verrrry shortly!" Xelloss teased
adorably annoyingly.
    Dayvid fehed, continuing to browse the swimwear racks.  "Yeah, right."
    "In fact, I'd hazard that me bringing it up is bound to cause you to
work your thoughts in that very direction, simply because the issue has
been raised and you won't be able to get it out of your head," the
trickster grinned.  "Simple facts of human behavior.  A little stimulus, a
lot of reaction."
    "If I even BEGIN to act anything other than a traveling host towards
Amelia, DAD, I'll... I'll..."
    "Mmmmmmmm?" Xelloss hummed, curiously.
    "I'll stop calling you 'DAD' in a very sarcastic way," Dayvid
concluded.
    "Done deal," Xelloss said, grabbing Dayvid's hand and shaking
vigorously.  Then with his other hand he passed the boy some swim trunks.
"Now go try these on, so we can get to the pool."
    Dayvid grabbed the shorts from his father, and walked off in a huff,
towards the changing rooms.  Just in time to bump into Amelia, who was just
stepping out of them in a spectacular dark blue bikini.
    There's some gene in the Wil Tesla Sailoon family line which dictates
that no matter what you're wearing, you'll wear it well.  Scientists
haven't gotten far enough beyond some steam machines and trying to turn
lead into gold instead of just more lead, but if they ever manage to tag
chromosomes, they'll label this one the Fashion Genome.  In this case, it
made Amelia's youthful but soon to be Nagalike in a year or three figure
very appealing.
    Dayvid, who realized too late that long days on the open sea meant you
weren't used to seeing anything other than a woman's face, hands and
sometimes ankles, locked dead in shock.
    "Oh, hello!" Amelia smiled.  "Ne, what do you think of this?  Is it my
color?"
    "It accentuates your lovely eyes in a way that rivals the flowering
blossoms of sunlit fields," Dayvid did not say.  Instead he said something
like "Gaaah ug umm errr gee well yeah."
    Amelia checked herself in the nearest full length mirror, posing a
bit.  "I don't know... do you think it makes me look fat?"
    The critical question.  Analytical mind at maximum strain against
confused emotional center, task processing.  If the answer is negative she
might think you're lying and if positive it'll offend her deeply.  Seeking
alternative answer.  Standing there looking stupid and staring
inadvisable.  Muscles not responding.  Danger.  Danger.  General protection
fault.  Restoring from backup.
    "Oh, look, floppy hats," he said quickly, distracting himself with the
nearest display.
    "I think I'll take this one," Amelia said.  "I could probably work up a
good tan today!  Let's get going to the pool, everybody!  And we'll look
for that lake too sometime."
    The cheery sorceress bounced over to the shop's counter, paying the man
from her money purse.  Dayvid watched her bounce.
    Xelloss floated up behind Dayvid.  "I think I won the bet," he smiled.
    This snapped Dayvid out of it.  "Yeah, right.  Sorry, dad, but I'm
afraid you're just wrong about this."
    Smiling at the way Dayvid sounded the words, Xelloss simply nodded
along.

                                    [*]

    "I know how it is, brother," Flippy Frog nodded.  "I mean, you slave
away for hours and hours in a big animal head, becoming your character and
entertaining, and they have the nerve to pay you skimpy wages.  Where's the
respect for the creative process?  That's what I'm saying, we need people
to acknowledge our art."
    Salty Shark agreed, his fins in a ruffle.  "It's discrimination, it
is.  Nobody properly appreciates us just because we wear animal costumes.
You don't see them mocking the theater actors on Widestreet play
productions, do you?  They wear costumes!  And they do just as much work as
we do.  Don't you agree, Bouncy?"
    Zelgadis looked around nervously.  This wasn't helping.  Yes, he wanted
to fit in and not make a scene, but when he agreed to get a cup of coffee
with some of the other mascots in the park, he didn't count on them yacking
away for twenty minutes about method acting.  It was wasting his time.
    Unless....
    "Oh, I agree wholeheartedly," Bouncy Bunny lied.  "It's a shame, a
crying shame.  And this park, I mean, it's not even a classy one.  How
recently was it made, anyway?"
    "I think it's been around for about five years," Flippy said, sipping
his steamy java.  "Ever since the King ordered the construction of a
funpark for the citizens to relax in.  The contractor built the thing at
the base of an inactive volcano so they could heat the water cheap then
pocketed the rest of the funds."
    "Good break for him," Bouncy said.
    "I wouldn't say that, unless you mean the snapping sound his neck made
when they found out."
    Bouncy Bunny choked momentarily on his drink.  "Ah, yes.. that's what I
meant exactly.  So, the volcano keeps the wavepool warm?  Where do they get
the water?  It's fresh, not salt, right?"
    "Some underground lake," Salty Shark said.  "At least, that's what I
heard."
    "Really?  That's interesting.  How do you get to that lake?"
    "You don't," Flippy said.  "There wasn't a way down there until a year
ago when one of the attractions hit a snag of a classified nature.  Now
it's forbidden.  The rules specifically state that you do not go into areas
that are demarked by the red signs, and that place has been tagged for
months.  You couldn't pay me to go there, some people say it's haunted,
even..."
    Bouncy Bunny leaned forward.  "And which place is that, exactly?"

                                    [*]

    "Weeehooo!!"
    The waterslide was a fairly new invention, a tube of highly polished,
magically constructed glass that you could pour water and people through.
The weirder the design, the more fun the disorientation.  Amelia, who had
never experienced a ride at a themed attraction, was living it up as the
shot down the curls of the slide, finally upending over the deep end of the
wavepool, splashing down.
    Amazing!  These things existed, and Sailoon didn't know!  Her country
was truly in the dark age.  She'd have to be the princess to bring
waterslides to her people.  Millions would herald her name for that,
surely!  And that way she could ride it down whenever she wanted, too.
Funding it might be hard, but she could just give up her allowance for a
year or so.
    Sputtering, Amelia surfaced and bobbed on the water.  Dayvid didn't
seem to be having as much fun, she noted, as he hung around the edge of the
pool, not really swimming, just sort of floating a little.  So, determined
to cheer him up, Amelia paddled over.
    "Hi!" she greeted.
    "Oh.. hey," Dayvid said.  "So, how's the slide?"
    "It's fuuuun!!" Amelia said.
    "It's a very simple principle, really," Dayvid said, examining the
structure.  "You wouldn't need the magic glass if you could use a synthetic
crystal, or some kind of material that was strong, thin and slick... and
the water could be drawn up to the top with a pumping system of some kind
instead of a magically enhanced channeling tube..."
    "Either way, it's a lot of fun," Amelia said.  "Right?"
    "I haven't ridden one before."
    "You HAVEN'T?" Amelia gaped.  She grabbed Dayvid's arm, tugging him
along.  "Come on, come on!  You've got to try."
    "Uhh... uh..." Dayvid protested, as Amelia towed him along.

                                    [*]

    A short distance away, on the artificial shore which was frequently
raked into eye-appealing and very organized dunes whenever customers messed
it up, Xelloss was catching some sun.
    Relaxing in a nice folding wooden chair, with a quaint little umbrella,
the Mazoku priest was contemplating a tan.  He could change his appearance
to have one, and technically Mazoku didn't tan, but he felt it might be a
nice change of pace to pretend to earn one naturally.  It almost felt like
he was on vacation.
    Vacation...
    He had a nice vacation, years past.  Nothing was going on with the
Mazoku.  The wars were over for centuries going, and other than the
occasional tidbit of snippy infighting, he generally had nothing to do
except torment small villages with con jobs and carefully arranged, soap
opera like incidents.  Realizing he was going to waste, Zellas-Metallum
gave him an order : 'Wait for further orders.'
    Xelloss, knowing his mistress's usual mannerisms, interpreted this as
some paid leave and decided to go mingle with the humans again.  He was a
human once, uncountable years ago, and of all the recruits he managed to
hang onto his delights of human senses the most.  So, at a particularly
loud concerto, after ingesting a number of very interesting plants, he met
a very nice girl and took her home.
    Surprisingly -- one of the few real surprises he had had in a hundred
years -- Dayvid was born as a result.  Shocked and intrigued by the
situation, and having nothing else to do, he opted for marriage and to
raise the boy right.  Dayvid at an early age didn't take well to magic, but
he'd have time to work on that, and maybe be able to bring him into the
family business...
    Except, of course, that he didn't have that time.  That's when he
received his next order.
    'Watch over Lina Inverse.'
    He didn't have much choice except to abandon his play-family.  He
didn't feel very bad about it at the time, excited that he'd be getting
back to work.  But... well...
    Tricky things, the human emotions.  He rarely had them.  He fed on them
freely, of course, that's just who he was, but having them was a bit less
common.  Fairly certain he was having one, right here, right now, on the
shore of the world's most orderly funpark, he wanted to examine it closely.
    Regret, perhaps?  That he wasn't around for Dayvid's life.  The mother
he felt less about, he'd never had a true love that he'd publicly
acknowledge, but he did have high hopes for the boy.  That perhaps the boy
would understand things, would appreciate them, would come into the fold
and be a valued companion.
    Sadly, this was unlikely.  Dayvid had his own life now; he had Dayvid's
life, not Xelloss's.  Xel could accept that, perfectly reasonable,
perfectly natural, no need to stress over it.  But it still tugged at him
slightly.
    Another thing tugged at his senses.
    "You know, you could try announcing yourself," he said, without
looking.  "It's rather unnerving just to feel a light shadow over my
shoulder."
    A supernatural voice did not clear its throat.
    "your feelings are irrelevant.  She requires an update," the Minion,
Zellass-Metallum's apparently new recruit into the fold said.  "Why is Lina
Inverse still alive, against Her orders to you?  you have been given
sufficient time."
    "I could tell you, but you'd never understand, I suppose," Xelloss
sighed, his introspective moment influencing his words.  He was aware he
was doing this, but didn't really care.
    "i am capable of logic beyond accepted standards..."
    "Logic, my irritatingly boring non-friend, is not the medium," Xelloss
said.  "How little you understand.  I fail to see why you're a superior
tool for Zellas-sama than me."
    "i obey without question. i carry out orders. i do not stall. i am will
made action and nothing more," Minion replied by route.
    "As, unfortunately, are a lot of Mazoku goons.  I'd like to think of
myself as having that little something extra than a typical faceless
minion, however..."
    "Lina Inverse lives," Minion reminded.  "you cannot distract me from
that."
    "Fine, fine!" Xelloss said, turning to glare at the thing.  "If it'll
make you so very happy, I'll kill her next time I meet her, at the Island
of Ultimate Despair.  Would that satisfy you?"
    "i am incapable of satisfaction.  She will be satisfied in my stead."
    The Minion vanished, its business complete.
    Xelloss slumped in his beach chair.  Complicated matters, complicated
indeed.  And no logic would help in the realm of emotion, Mazoku or human.
Time was tight.  If things were going to carry off as he wanted, perhaps
only one option was left.

                                    [*]

    Zelgadis wasn't reckless.  He stopped being a loose cannon years ago,
after it dumped him into a lot of hot water.  So, when he approached the
menacin looking building, which had every window boarded up, lots of red
signs reading 'RIDEN IST VERBOTEN' and such, he took his sweet time
examining the locale before considering entering.
    But make no mistake, this was the place.  He could tell from the irony.
    The one ride which never seemed to make sense at a water park, the Hall
of Mirrors was designed personally by the independent contractor who built
HappyWorld.  He scribbled up the plans one night after a fever dream,
according to the lore Flippy Frog told him.  Nobody understood why he came
up with this twisting funhouse, or where he got the idea -- when asked,
he'd grow very testy and order them back to work on constructing it.  Most
folks just assumed after the fact that he was an insane deviant criminal
maniac, since he skimmed the funds to begin with, and therefore could be
expected of everything from domestic house pet molesting to jaywalking.
This was just how the average Justivalero mind worked.
    Zelgadis, however, knew irony and drama when he saw it.  The Lake of
Reflections, obviously the underground lake that lurked under HappyWorld,
had a lot of magical energy.  Why not have it run wild, tapping into the
mind of an architect and encourage him to construct a temple of
reflection?  And naturally, that's where the access route to the lake is
hidden, and of course it's hidden behind a shroud of mystery to keep prying
eyes away -- unless they're the sort of prying eyes who came for the
mystery in the first place and know the score, like himself.
    Most tourists avoided this secluded area of the park, content to enjoy
the wavepool.  Which left Zelgadis with plenty of freedom to search the
building, find the only available entrance, ditch his ridiculous costume
and head inside.

                                    [*]

    The first thing he did upon entering the dark building was cast a
strong light spell, which he instantly regretted.  The dozens of mirrors,
coating the walls, sometimes becoming the walls and floors and ceilings
themselves reflected the light back at him, resulting in temporary
blindness in one hard burst of photons.
    Cursing sharply, he extinguished the spell, and tried again; this time
at a lower intensity.  The light was then tolerable, but did little to
define the shape of the building, as there were few surfaces to
illuminate.  Just highly polished silver.  A maze of twisty little
passages, all alike, all mirrored.
    Briefly he considered turning back and fetching the others, but odds
were Amelia would just get lost, Xelloss would play some mean tricks, and
they'd make slow progress.  He was good with mazes, had a sharp mind, he
could handle it.  He stepped confidently, but cautiously, into the web of
passages.
    Minutes passed.  He could tell the maze was sloping down, underneath
the ground, far larger than the building made it seem to be.  He kept good
track of the turns, however, in his mind; he could have broken a mirror or
two and used the shards like bread crumbs, but in a place oozing with
magical power, you don't want to do anything that could set off some
horrifically dramatic chain reaction of events.  You just take it cool and
slow.  Footstep after footstep.  Step, step.  With steps behind you.
    Zelgadis whirled, hand to his sword hilt, as the person in the mirror
did the same.
    Just your reflection, he thought.  Don't be spooked.  But then again...
reflections don't make sound.  Don't be naive, either.
    Zel walked over to the mirror, which blurred and distorted his image;
the shape was vaguely similar, but no details.  It moved as he did.  He
raised a hand, the image raised a hand.  He hopped on one foot, the image
did too.
    "Tell me what number I'm thinking of," he hazarded.
    "Six, probably," the reflection said, shrugging.  "You always think
about six.  What're you and why are you inside that mirror?"
    "I'm not inside, you are.... oh," Zelgadis said.  This incident didn't
faze him.  You had to expect something like this, plan for it, be prepared
psychologically to see weird stuff inside a magical maze.  "Perception.
This means, based on my limited knowledge of Mirror Lores, that you're
either from another world, or you're a vision, or maybe a trick for some
monster to kill me."
    The blurry Zelgadis laughed.  This perked Zel's ears.  He didn't really
hear himself laugh often.
    "I could say the same, pal," the image joked.  "Okay.  So now what?"
    "I'd say nothing.  You go your way, I'll go my way," Zelgadis said.
"Safer that way."
    "Huh?  Forget that.  This is too interesting to pass up.  I'm gonna
break through.  Step back."
    Zelgadis stepped back, on instinct.  "Wait.  You don't know what kind
of spells are on that--"
    CRASH.  Glass fragmented, split apart; winds whipped through the narrow
corridor, light pouring from the razor sharp edges of the broken mirror, as
the figure stumbled through... and once through, the mirror was back to
normal, as it always had been.
    Zelgadis looked at himself in shock.  There were some things no amount
of playing it cool could handle.
    "Whoa," the man said, poking lightly at Zel's cheek.  "When did I turn
into a blue freak?"

                                    [*]

    He called himself Zelgrey, because he said combining his first and last
name made it more zippy for an adventurer on the go.  They walked and
talked for awhile, having determined that they were both after the same
thing.  But Zelgadis kept his guard up.  His weird meter had its needle
firmly in the red.
    Zelgrey was human.  Pink skin, black hair, a spitting image of Zelgadis
before.. his incident.  The boy laughed heartily and found a lot of things
funny, he spoke in a slight mocking tone that reminded Zelgadis vaguely of
the damnable red priest who turned him into a Chimera, Rezo.
    "Yeah, I did grandpa Rezo a favor or three," Zelgrey said.  "He gave me
money and magical items in payment.  It was a sweet deal, and gave me a
chance to practice and get stronger.  Worked out okay."
    "Did... one day, did Rezo come to you, and just flat out offer to make
you stronger than you could imagine?" Zelgadis asked, eyeing Zelgrey's
loose gait as he walked.
    "Hmm?  Yeah, I remember that," Zelgrey said, nodding.  "I told him to
piss off.  I was busy that day, and the old man was getting really weird on
me.  Besides, I was hoping to go off and look for the Clair Bibles in a
week or three with Zolf..."
    "That's the difference," Zelgadis said, slumping slightly as he went.
"I took his offer.  And he turned me into a monster, part golem, part
demon, part... just generally a mess.  A chimera.  I've been looking for a
cure ever since."
    "Damn.  That's a shame.  So you want the Water of Reflection as a
cure?"
    Zelgadis paused in his tracks.  "The what?"
    "You DO know what you're looking for, right?" Zelgrey asked.  "The
waters of the Lake of Reflection.  You need them to cast any really sizable
mirror lore spells.  I already got the book out of the Great Library, and
it said I had to come here to get the raw materials, you know?  Always
gotta be SOMETHING to delay me getting the power I want, it's very
annoying."
    "Already with the lores, and all this... our group hasn't gotten nearly
as far.  Did Lina go to get the book in your world?"
    "Lina?" Zelgrey asked.  "Who's that?"
    "Nevermind.  You probably never met her."
    "I met a lot of girls in my time.  Try me."
    "She's..." Zelgadis said, trying to phrase it right.  "Short.  Orange
hair.  Personality that can best be described as 'Spunky'.  Very
energetic.  Not very responsible.  Powerful.  Generally a good person.
Lina Inverse."
    "Oh, her," Zelgrey said, acknowledgment hitting him like a flyswatter.
"Yeah, I dumped her a few years ago."
    "Dumped?"
    "We only went out a few times, while I was passing through a town,"
Zelgrey said.  "Seemed like a good kid, and I was bored, but it got too
pressing, you know?  She was all like, 'I think we have something special,
I never knew I could feel that way, maybe we should team up,' and I'm like
all, 'Whoa, hold your horses, I go alone on quests.'  You know how it is
with girls.  So I ditched her and skipped town... why are you looking at me
like that?"
    Frozen in his tracks, Zelgadis had trouble believing what he just
heard.  "You... you WHAT?"
    "Hey, pardner, it was just some chick I met," Zelgrey said.  "I like to
play it loose and cool with girls.  You too, right?"
    "I.. never really thought much about it after my.. you kow."
    "OHHH, I get it," Zelgrey grinned.  "Kinda a social handicap, isn't it,
being a stone?  Although the things you could do with a rock hard--"
    "I think I see light ahead," Zelgadis lied, to end that train of
thought at the station.
    "Funny, I don't see--"
    "How could you do that?" Zelgadis interrupted, turning to his
not-twin.  "Just... do that to some girl and leave them?  It's completely
irresponsible, not to mention cruel."
    "Big deal!" Zelgrey said, spitting.  "I'm looking out for number one,
okay?  I don't have time for some relationship thing.  I'm on a lifelong
quest to get stronger.  Powerful.  You know?  You can't be THAT different
from me not to want the same thing.  Nothing gets in the way of that,
right?"
    "...once, maybe," Zelgadis said.
    "Exactly.  We're like the wind, baby!  Off we go with nothing to tie us
down!" Zelgrey said, running along with both hands flapping like a bird's
wings.  "Nreeeeeoooowwww!  Zooom!"
    Zelgadis stood there with a slightly confused expression.
    "You know, you gotta learn to relax," Zelgrey said.  "You're like a
stiff.  But then again, you are stiff, aren't you?  Heh!  I got an idea.
How about a race?"
    "A what?"
    "A race!  A tomb raiding magic slinging sword slashing good idol grab!"
Zelgrey said, waving his arms excitedly.  "Just the thing to perk yer ass
up.  Start here.  Run as fast as you can.  First person to the Lake wins
first shot at taking the booty."
    "That's stupid," Zelgadis said frankly.  "If you run in this maze,
you'll get lost instantly, or fall into a pit of whirling razor sharp
blades or something ridiculous like that.  It's standard in magical
dungeons."
    "Not if you're quick and clever like me," Zelgrey grinned.  "Or are
you.. chicken?"
    "If taking my time and not plummeting to a brief, nasty death means I'm
chicken, then hear my cluck," Zelgadis said, crossing his arms in the way
he always did when dealing with morons.
    "Fine, fine.  YOU slug along like a snail.  I'LL go grab the water
before you can," Zelgrey said, pointing at himself, at number one.  "See
you on the flip side, pal."
    He dashed off, rounding a corner, footsteps fading fast.
    Zelgadis continued along, step, step, slow.  The fool would get himself
killed that way.  Sure bet.  Chances of him getting to the lake before
Zelgadis could and taking what he needed were slim.  Very slim.
    He took off at a run, thoughts snapping like willow weeds to memorize
his path.  Slim didn't mean nonexistent.

                                    [*]

    The halls got progressively weirder.
    They turned, they twisted; rotationally, up and down, moving in
directions Zelgadis tried not to linger on.  He just kept moving, kept
tracking his turns, kept following the wall left, sometimes following his
instincts.
    There seemed to be a pattern of junctions and dead ends, turns and
curves.  He could see a distinct sequence, and tried to adapt to follow
it.  Simple habits anybody who went on adventures and quests were used to
using.
    Not that he wanted to race against himself.  But he knew, knew in his
heart that that person -- not him, not him anymore -- was stupid enough to
get there and make a scene and ruin everything if he couldn't get there
first.  Then they'd both be screwed.  It was the kind of childish thing he
might have done in years past, before he learned the hard way to think
before you act.
    He was thinking so hard, tracking his movements and internally coming
to grips with the situation that he almost ran into the lake headfirst.
    Skidding to a halt, leaving a current of pebbles and stones in his
wake, his eyes adjusted to the ambient light...
    A cavern.  A cavern that dwarfed size, that dwarfed everything he had
ever seen; and yet, it still seemed to have space, XYZ, defined size.  An
the size seemed normal if he looked at it out of the corner of his eye.
Light poured in from nowhere, glittering off the rippling surface of the
underground lake, playing patterns of light along the walls, along
Zelgadis, along his eyes.  Unsettling.
    Not ten seconds after he got used to his environment, in came Zelgrey,
not stopping fast enough and ending up ankle deep in the lake.  Nothing
reacted to this.
    "Damn, I'm late," Zelgrey said.  "Okay.  I take back that thing about
you being stiff.  Looks like you have SOME life left in you, pardner."
    "I'm pleased I meet your standards," Zelgadis sarcasmed.
    Zelgrey took two waterskins from his pack, emptying them out on the
pebbly ground, away from the lake.  He tossed an empty one to Zelgadis.
"Here.  We fill these from the lake, and bring it back.  Easy as pie."
    A thought skittered over Zelgadis's mind.  "No."
    "No?" Zelgrey asked, pausing before he filled his container.  "You got
a problem with that?"
    "No, as in that won't work.  This lake supplies the water to the
wavepool upstairs," Zelgadis explained.  "But the people up above aren't
swimming in magical water, or they'd have noticed.  They'd start growing
third arms or have visions of themselves in other worlds and so on.  The
water can't be magical or it'd all be magical."
    "It's the Lake, isn't it?  It's the Water.  So it's magical."
    "That's not the way it works," Zelgadis said.  "There's probably a
trial or a machine or a spell to undergo before you get the REAL water.
This is a fakeout.  It's the sort of dramatic thing that a mad wizard who
invented his own Lore would do.  I bet if you just take the water without
some kind of ceremony, you'll find that it's totally useless."
    "Sound pretty damn sure of yourself," Zelgrey said.  "How much you
wanna bet you're wrong?  I'm rich, let's do it."
    "I don't want to bet, I want to get the Water the right way," Zelgadis
said, glancing around.  "Start looking for a trigger of some kind."
    Zelgrey shrugged, and gave a brief lookabout.  "I don't see one."
    "I mean SEARCH for one," Zelgadis said, already busy doing so.  "A
strange rock formation in the wall, or on the floor, or anything out of
the... hello, what's this?"
    "What's what?"
    "This," Zelgadis gestured to the wall.  "Don't you see it?"
    "You trying to make me look stupid?  It's just rock."
    "Embossed in the surface... very faint..." Zelgadis said, tracing a
finger.  "Rectangle.  Circular notched corners, like a classic mirror
frame.  Just like the Oracle Mirror..."
    Placing a stone hand on the stone surface, Zelgadis gave it an
experimental push.  Rock ground against rock, the mirror shaped button
sliding back into the wall an inch.
    Light flared up from nowhere, glinting off the water, projecting on the
walls, the shadow of a man...
    Both Zelgadises turned to look.
    A floating form, a woman clad in a gauze the color of the water.  She
was framed by a golden mirror frame, notched edges, but with no glass.  She
did not speak, but the words found their way into Zelgadis's mind...
    'Welcome to the Lake of Reflections,' she projected.  'You who have
found the summoning stone and have defeated the maze of mirrors are both
observant and meticulous.  However, as ordained by Silverquick onto me,
there is nothing proving to show that you are capable of handling the Water
of Reflection with wisdom and humility.'
    "Always another problem do deal with," Zelgrey muttered.  "What's the
trial, lady?"
    The woman didn't turn to look at Zelgrey.  'You are not of this world,
but all reflections are an image of some other.  Both of you will
participate.  Are you ready?'
    "Wait," Zelgadis said.  "What exactly does this involv--"
    "We're ready," Zelgrey said up front.
    Two tiny glasses of water, shimmering water like liquid ice, appeared
in the air.  One in front of Zelgadis, one in front of Zelgrey.
    'The true water of the lake,' the guardian said.  'Drink it and see
clearly for the first time.'
    "Bottoms up!" Zelgrey joked, snatching his from where it floated and
slinging it back.  Zelgadis carefully took his, since the glass looked very
fragile, and sipped from it, and
        his mind stretched like a bridge too far, like a span over a gap he
wasn't expecting to run into, linking, bending, bringing him to a place he
was never expecting to see, never knew existed, a place of golden water and
light, where he could sense the BEING of all, under the surface, a swimming
shark, a floating lilypad, watching, knowing, untelling, unshowing,
unhinting as he looked past the ripples of the lake of gold, to the three
strange objects, the three things, the keys, the spokes, the engine that
Dayvid's ship powered along the waves, the powers of the Dragon Slave, the
simple folds of the healing spell, the ultimate call, the ultimate summon,
the three forces, the two that always were, the third that evolved out of
the earth, three pillars, one black, one white, and one in the middle of
gray, stretching high, higher than the highest high, unknown distance,
twisted twined trilogy of power, ending at the infinite in brilliant white
light, the ultimate white, horrible black darkness, the ultimate black,
unusually still grayness, the tips of the towers, the king of good, the
dark lord of all, and... and the middle being, arisen from need... and the
bridges connecting the three together in unity, in balance, three sides of
the coin until Zelgadis plummeted and fell and dropped and slammed back
down into
    his body, which was standing where left it.
    Moments passed.  Zelgadis's mind span uneasily, like a top that was
winding down, trying to hang onto the momentum it reveled in, to understand
it...
    'The trial,' the guardian of the Lake said, 'Is this.  Tell me what you
saw.'
    Zelgrey assumed an affirming stance, feet together, a wry smile on his
face.  A shrug.  "Some stuff about a bunch of pillars in water.  I think
they were white, black and gray and something was swimming under 'em.
How's that?"
    The guardian then turned to Zelgadis.
    "I saw..." Zelgadis said.  What did he see?  He saw what Zelgrey said.
But that's not what he experienced, not what he truly saw, which was
slipping away from him like a dream as he thought about it.
    'Your answer?'
    "I don't honestly know," Zelgadis answered.
    Zelgrey laughed, and patted Zelgadis comfortingly on the back.  "Cheer
up.  Maybe I'll give you some of my water, pardner.  No reason I can't
share just because you screwed--"
    'I will offer the true waters of the lake to Zelgadis Greyweirs alone,'
the Guardian said, floating towards them.  'For he is able to know when he
knows nothing.'
    The human stood in absolute bafflement, as Zelgadis held out his
waterskin in a daze, and the water of the lake floated in a stream through
the air, filling it completely, glittering like diamond ice.  The task
done, the guardian turned, frame turning with her, and started back across
the lake.
    This would not do.
    "Hey, HEY!" Zelgrey said.  "Now you hold up!  I answered your damn
question, I said what I saw!  I deserve the power just as much -- hell,
MORE than he does!"
    'It is not to be yours,' the Guardian said, pausing.
    "Zelgrey... don't mess with this," Zelgadis suggested.  "I'm sorry for
you, but--"
    "Screw that!" Zelgrey said, shoving Zelgadis aside.  A large fireball
snapped into his hand, as he held it back.  "You give me the damn water or
I'll fry this entire lake!  God, it's always one thing or another, isn't
it?  Something between me and getting stronger!  I don't put up with that,
Miss Lake, got it?  Now, are you going to give over the water, or do I go
inferno on you?"
    Zelgadis stepped away.  Slowly.  Instinctively.
    'Your choice is made.  As Matthew onto Luke...' the Guardian started,
her image flickering red briefly, a dark red.  'So is the punishment for
the worst within that defies the maker...'
    "Run," Zelgadis said, jogging backwards for the exit, wanting a head
start.  But Zelgrey stood his ground.  "RUN, damn you!  Don't be an idiot!"
    "I came here for a reason," Zelgrey said, "And I'm NOT leaving wi--"
    The lake exploded.  A brilliant shining pillar of water, raging like a
waterfall, straight up into the air; flying high, raging against the
ceiling of the cavern before Zelgadis's very eyes, a rageful rapid that
smashed against the roof and flooded white foam down at the shore...
    That was more than enough for him.  Zelgadis ran like a chimera
possessed.
    Turns, left, right, straight, arc, moving fast, he dashed at a full out
sprint through the maze of mirrors.  He didn't look back, because that's
always the first stupid mistake that people make when running away from
danger.  Zelgrey would have to fend for himself.  That's how the man wanted
it, it seemed.
    The water flooded behind him, lapping at his ankles as the Hall of
Mirrors slowly filled, from the basement up.  It took ten minutes at full
speed and intense concentration to get back up to the front door, throwing
it open to the light of the late sun, diving for cover as water gushed out
of the building.
    The earth rumbled.
    The sky shook.
    "Time to leave town," Zelgadis wisely decided, and scrambled for the
wavepool.

                                    [*]

    Night was soon to descend on HappyWorld.  Most of the swimmers and
tubers and shoppers and eaters had left already, off in their private
yachts, off on public transportation coaches which arrived sharply at seven
o'clock to pick up ten passengers each.  Only a few stragglers, unable to
admit that the day of fun was over, remained.
    Dayvid popped out of the waterslide for the twenty seventh time that
day, holding his nose as he splashed down in the water.  Amelia was next
down the pipeline, laughing and happy, dumping into the pool headfirst.
    Both surfaced, all smiles.
    "Amazing, how simple physics principles of water can be... well, fun!"
Dayvid said.  "I've got to study this thing!"
    "Hey... do you think you could make one of these?" Amelia asked.  "I
mean, full scale, the whole thing?"
    "Sure!  The concepts are sound, and I think I could even do it without
magic..."
    "Make one for Sailoon!" Amelia demanded/requested.  "I'll get money
together, and once this quest is over, you can come with me to the capital
and we can design it together!  It really needs more inner tubes and pools
and things, this place is actually kind of limited..."
    "Uh, work together?" the boy asked.  "I'm not really, I mean... that's
a big job and I wouldn't want to, ah, get it wrong..."
    "I have faith in you, Dayvid-san!" Amelia said, raising a fist of
justice and might.  "Our waterslide of righteousness will reach the clouds
themselves, our tribute to good clean family entertainment and excitement!
Together, we shall overcome!!"
    "...okay," Dayvid said, slightly spooked.  "We are a day ahead of
schedule at least.. we'll just stay on the ship tonight and I can come back
and sketch some ideas based on those towers, like that one that's about to
crush us."
    "Right!" Amelia agreed, and smiled.
    They smiled.
    They looked up.
    They swam for it, as the huge towering waterslide complex careened
over, crashing into the wavepool's waves.

                                    [*]

    Security officials in mirrored glasses (because, as mentioned, some
things are universal across space and time) frantically ran around trying
to order people to evacuate the park in a tidy and organized manner.  They
were then promptly trampled as the mob made its way to the main gates,
buildings collapsing around them, spilling merchandise and frosty fruity
refreshments everywhere.
    Xelloss had managed to salvage his beach umbrella, which was only
slightly wilted, as he perched on top of a stable gift shop and watched the
funpark shake itself to pieces.  It was all quite amusing, really; in not
less than three minutes, what was a safe and pleasant scene of sunset-lit
amusement became a swirling holocaustic miasma of destruction and
screaming.  Fortunately, nobody he knew or cared about was in--
    Oh, wait.
    He set the umbrella aside, scanned the madness for a familiar face, and
zipped over to where Amelia and Dayvid were fleeing the scene, landing in a
brisk trot at their side.
    "Are you alright, son?  No horrible maimings or anything?" Xelloss
asked, not losing his smile.
    "Run!  Run!!!" Dayvid suggested.  "Something's gone wrong with the
pumps!  The whole park is coming apart at the seams!!"
    "Yes, that's what happens when there's a dangerous surge of magical
power," Xelloss said calmly.  "Given Zelgadis's skills, I predicted he'd
find the lake right around now.  I wasn't counting on him enraging the
guardian, though.  You know what that means, right?"
    "We're going to die!!" Dayvid shouted in a panic.
    "Always a bright lad," Xelloss nodded.  "Always clever."
    "Wait!  We can't run!  We have to help get these poor people to
safety!" Amelia said, stopping in her tracks.  "There is no time to think
solely of self interest!  Let us rally behind compassion and--"
    A blue and purple chimera dashed past them, running for the exit in a
very self interested manner.
    "So much for that notion," Xelloss said.  "Who's up for flying out of
here?"

                                    [*]

    HappyWorld melted like a wedding cake in a supernova.
    Ships of customers, rapid response escape ships designed by the
HappyWorld Safety Brigade, and anything else that could float tore pell
mell across the ocean to outrun the destruction.  Fortunately, there
weren't very many people in the park, and they all managed to cram into
some form of transport; which is also fortunate because unfortunately the
very dormant volcano that towered over the park picked today to stop being
dormant.
    So, as the lava flows wiped out what was left of the park and flowed
like a river of molten fire into the sea to cool into slag, Amelia gazed
back at HappyWorld in regret.  Dayvid was too busy pumping levers to give
the Guppy a boost of speed to worry about regret.
    "I guess that ruins my idea of making a funpark in Sailoon," Amelia
said.
    "I... I could... gaaah... probably... remember a lot... of it!" Dayvid
said, between pumps.  "If my arms don't break here, I'll still help!  I'm
very excited about this project!  My hands are going numb!"
    "Really?" Amelia asked, delighted.  "That's great!  Don't worry,
Melvin's really bright too and can help!"
    "Is he here to help me pump?" Dayvid asked before passing out.
    "No, but..." Amelia said before he hit the floor.  "Um... oops.  Ne,
Zelgadis-san, are we going fast enough?"
    The chimera looked up from his daydreaming.  "Huh?  What?"
    "Are we going fast enough, or should someone keep pumping?"
    "Um.. we're fine," Zelgadis said.  "Yeah."
    "So, did you get the thing we came for?" Amelia asked, leaning over to
look at him.  "You seem a little spaced out or something..."
    "Just.. thinking about stuff," Zelgadis said.  "And yeah, I got the
water.  We can go to the Island now."
    "Hoooraaay!!!" Amelia cheered, going into sugar overdrive, jumping up
and down.  "We've prevailed against strong forces and succeeded in our
quest!  Lina-san will be so proud of me!"
    "Lina.. yeah, she will," Zelgadis said absently.
    It was funny, he thought, because he was just thinking of Lina at the
moment.  Specifically because he kept going over the strange vision he had
upon drinking the clear Water of Reflection, over the figures standing on
the three pillars...
    And he was almost certain, in hindsight, that the one in the middle had
been none other than Lina Inverse.
    He really, really wished he understood what that meant.  It didn't feel
like it was going to be a good thing.

                              TO BE CONTINUED