Redhair-MST...
(The scene opens with Andrew and Washu playing Chessmaster 5500. In the
corner of the room, Ranma, La Blue Girl, and A-ko are in the mist of a
Menge-a-trois. Lina is comatose on the floor. Andrew and Washu look up to
see the camera)
Andrew (to the camera): Well, a lot has happened since we last met.
Washu: Yeah. La Blue Girl helped us twice by find the Tardis for us and
throwing Lina in front of the force field so that we could get in.
Andrew: Serves Lina right, calling La Blue Girl sexless.
Washu: Anyway...we're now far, far away from Princess Nausicaa and Shampoo.
(There's a booming noise, which wakes up Lina, but does not faze Ranma into
humping La Blue Girl, while A-ko licks La Blue Girl's other hole.)
Lina: Ack! (to Ranma, A-ko & La Blue Girl) You three are Grade-A perverts!
Andrew: It's not his fault that Shampoo sprinkled Satan-level strength
passion spices on them. They'll be like that for months. At least they
won't need food.
Washu: Or until this fan-fic starts...(Everyone stops what they are doing
and watches...)
At 11:47 AM 5/20/98 -0700, Anand Rao wrote:
Okay, well... Thanks to the advice from Chris Angel and Gary Kleepe, I've
done some revision and even added a scene or two. What I really need right
now is some proofreading done before I send this off to RAAC. I seem to
keep missing the numerous grammar mistakes I make. Ah well. So if someone
could provide some help in this area, I'd greatly appreciate it. Oh, C&C,
MSTs, and even, I suppose, flames are welcome...
Andrew: Hand me that abestos suit.
Mothers and Sons: Ranma
--------------------------------
Lina: And how they become lovers, on the next Jerry Springer!
By: Anand Rao
Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi
Ranma: SO?
----------
Genma looked on morosely as his wife packed her clothes into a large bag
pack. The two of them were sitting on the floor of their small room at the
Tendo Dojo. He did not understand why she felt the need to do this. Of
course, he had not seen her in over ten years, but he thought he had
understood her. (Kami-sama alone understands a woman,)
Washu: No he doesn't.
Andrew: Why?
Washu: He didn't make woman. He made man from woman.
Andrew: Wait a minute...that's not how I learned it in Sunday School.
Washu: That's because "man" was Skuld's first project, with Kami-sama's help.
Andrew: Oh boy.
he thought to
himself bitterly. She packed away the last of the clothing and smiled
thoughtfully as she tied the pack shut. "Is this really necessary?" Genma
finally demanded.
Ranma (with a dreamy-eyes look): Is the Pope Catholic?
Nodoka's smile became amused as she turned towards her husband. "You took
him away for ten -years-. How can you possibly be upset that I'm taking him
away for only a few days?" Nodoka asked.
Andrew: It's like that for most men.
Washu: Yeah, most men have patience like a cabbit eats beef. (Washu looks
and sees that Ryo-ok-hi is marking her as territory, complete with a
claiming flag bearing Ryo-ok-hi's face.)
Ryo-ok-hi: Miyaa?
Andrew: Ah, back from @baping an author? (Ryo-ok-hi grins and shakes her
head. She then leaves to take a nap. She is part cat, you know.)
"It's not natural. If he needs some kind of training, I can give it to
him," Genma replied.
Ranma: I'm not touching this one. Too easy.
"How many times do I have to tell you? This isn't about martial arts! I
just want to spend some time alone with my son. I want to get to know him.
Is that so very wrong?" Nodoka asked plaintively.
A-ko: If you're having sex, it is.
Everyone else: A-ko!
"Why do you have to go away to do that? Why not get to know him here?"
Genma demanded.
"You must be joking. He's under too much stress here. I don't think he
even relaxes his defenses when he sleeps!" Nodoka shot back.
La Blue Girl: Unlike the USA when India did those tests.
"A martial artist must be prepared for any eventuality at any time. That
'stress' as you call it, gives him an edge. Don't you see it? He's so
close now! He has the potential to be the best there is, the best I've ever
seen!" Genma said excitedly.
Andrew: Nodoka, it looks like you don't need the vacation as badly as Genma
does.
Washu: He does seem rather paranoid.
"And you think a few days alone with me will ruin all your work?" Nodoka
asked acidly.
"It's nothing like that!" Genma replied hastily, eyeing the wrapped katana
that was lying beside his wife, "I just don't want you to coddle the boy, or
fill his head with foolish ideas," Genma continued.
La Blue Girl (imitiating Genma): This isn't "The Graduate," No-chan!
"A mother is supposed to coddle her son! He's my baby. He always will be,"
Nodoka replied, wiping away the tears that formed in her eyes.
"No-chan, please don't cry! I- I was just concerned about his development
in the Art. I guess. . . a few days alone with his mother won't hurt,"
Genma sighed. He was more heartless than most men, but like his son, he
couldn't bear seeing Nodoka cry.
Ranma: Ah, a man among men...my BAKA father!
"I want him to be strong in the Art too! Loving him, nurturing him, and
talking to him is not mutually exclusive to that goal! You must realize
that. If you had, Ranma wouldn't have any where near the number of problems
that he does right now," Nodoka pointed out.
Ranma: Damn straight!
Andrew: How would you know?
(Ranma pulls out a book, the title says, "'How to make a Martial Arts Your
Son', by Dr. Spock." Andrew looks amazed.)
Andrew: I didn't know Dr. Spock wrote that...
"I agree with you completely. A great number of my actions are causing him
problems and adversity right now. But, No-chan, without those problems, he
wouldn't be as good in the Art. The boy picks up techniques and adapts to
changing situations faster than I can think!" Genma exclaimed.
La Blue Girl: He even changes his situation faster in bed! (Ranma blushes.
Andrew face-faults.)
"Sometimes, my husband, I think that is not such a great feat," Nodoka
replied dryly.
A-ko: Having sex with him, thought, that is a trememdous feat!
"I meant-"
Lina: That's it, I'm getting C-ko to cook you dinner.
"I know what you meant. Look, this is something that we will discuss later;
at length. But right now, I want to prepare dinner. The children should be
home from school soon. They just had the last of their finals today and are
probably exhausted!" Nodoka said, ending the conversation.
A-ko & La Blue Girl: We're exhausted in another way as well.
Ranma: Normally, I'd start bleeding, but...
"Very well," Genma grumbled.
"Cheer up, dear. We won't be gone that long," Nodoka said soothingly.
Andrew (imitating Nodoka): Just don't expect him back until he's completed
college.
"What if the boy doesn't want to go?" Genma thoughtlessly asked.
"If. . . he doesn't want to spend time with me, then I won't force him,"
La Blue Girl (imitating Nodoka): To have sex! (Everyone else groans.)
Nodoka replied, her voice pained as she quickly left the room.
Genma gently picked up the wrapped katana that his wife had left behind. "I
hope the boy is careful around her," he thought aloud, staring at the sword
in his hand.
********************************************
"Oh man, I'm glad that's over!" Ranma exclaimed, lazily walking on top of a
chain-link fence. He yawned and stretched out his arms. Akane, who was
walking on the sidewalk adjacent to the fence, smiled and shook her head in
amusement.
"Are you feeling -tired-, Ranma?" she asked sweetly.
"Ya -know- I didn't get enough sleep last night! What got into ya anyway,
making me study all night like that?" Ranma asked indignantly.
"I refuse to be engaged to a ronin! Besides, you don't want to go to summer
school, do you?" Akane asked.
Andrew: I on the other hand, HAVE to go to summer school.
Ranma: Why?
Andrew: Well, it's much easier finishing in three years than in four.
La Blue Girl: This from a guy that's been in college six years now? (Andrew
face-faults.)
"Well, no. But you didn't have to keep me up all night! You were up just
as late. Why aren't you tired, Akane?" Ranma asked.
"Idiot. We were only up until midnight. I always stay up that late to
study for an important test," Akane pointed out.
Andrew (waves his finger at the screen): That's not good, Akane. Cramming
never does any good. Your brain could explode or blackout.
Washu: No wonder my intelligence booster machine didn't work on Agent J.
Everyone else, except Andrew: WHO?
Andrew: Oh, the MIB thing. We're apart of that organization.
Ranma: Really?
Andrew: Yeah, I'm agent A and Washu is from another planet. Kasumi is Agent
O...
Ranma: O?
Andrew: Because she kept saying "Oh, my!" everytime she meets the Chief. I
think Ryouga is Agent R, but he's always on special assignment...
Ranma: That explains why he's ALWAYS lost.
"Really?" Ranma asked, surprised and secretly impressed at the same time.
"Yeah, and last night was simple compared to what studying for the
University exams are going to be like!" Akane exclaimed.
"Aw, who cares about college? I just wanna get out of high school," Ranma
replied. Akane sighed and silently continued walking. "What? You're not
gonna yell at me?" Ranma asked, surprised once again.
"What's the point? It's not like you every listen to me Ranma. Besides,
you -are- going to college," Akane replied, her voice firm.
"Oh yeah? Who's gonna make me? You?" Ranma snorted disdainfully. Akane
turned towards Ranma and smiled mirthfully.
"You don't understand, Ranma. I'm not going to force you into anything.
You'll have enough to deal with in your Mom," she replied smugly. Ranma
missed a step and nearly fell off the fence. After a few moments, he
regained his balance and glared down at Akane.
A-ko: That's an evil, evil grin, Akane.
"Have you an' Mom been talkin' about me?" Ranma asked angrily.
Lina (imitiating Akane): What makes you thing that?
"Oh not really. . . She was just saying how happy she was that you were
graduating soon, and how eagerly she was waiting for you to start college.
She thinks university life will help mature you," Akane explained, giggling
uncontrollably.
"Hey! I don't need any help maturing!" Ranma exclaimed.
Andrew: Yeah, right.
Ranma: Hey! I'm as mature as a 3-day old cheese!
Lina: That's not being mature, that's just being stinky.
"Don't tell me, tell your mom. Besides, you have to admit Ranma, your life
is a bit crazy. I know mine has been every since you showed up! Maybe
college will help tone things down. I'd have thought you would like that,"
Akane said.
"What's with you today anyway Akane? Jeez, I don't need you motherin' me
too!" Ranma yelled angrily. Akane stopped and glared at Ranma. She slowly
walked over to the fence and kicked it, nearly knocking Ranma off.
"You -really- are a jerk, Ranma!" Akane yelled, kicking the fence again,
harder. "When are you going to grow up and realize- Oh never mind!" Akane
said, kicking the fence once more for good measure then stalking off towards
the Dojo.
"Stupid tomboy! What's eatin' her?" Ranma muttered aloud, hanging onto the
fence by his arms and legs.
Ranma: Probably her food...
"She's just too good for you Ranma," an amused voice said from behind.
Ranma: Yeah, and Ryouga could do better...(He's getting iritable. That's
when La Blue Girl leans down and starts to play his flute.)
Washu: Andrew, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Andrew: I think so, Washu, but where are we to find a talking cat and a
crystal at this time of day? (Washu @baps Andrew.)
"What do you want, Ryoga?" Ranma asked irritably as he righted himself then
jumped off the fence.
"Actually, I have a favor to ask you," Ryoga said levelly.
Lina (imititating Ryouga & the Godfather): I have an offer you can't
refuse. If I can find it.
"What do you want?" Ranma repeated wearily.
"Having a bad day, Ranma?" Ryoga asked mildly.
"What's up? You're acting kinda funny," Ranma observed.
Lina (still imitiating Ryouga): You noticed my Binky the Clown costume?
"Ranma, Ranma, Ranma," Ryoga said as he walked up to the pig-tailed martial
artist. "You'd be acting funny too if you were getting married," Ryoga
continued, grinning broadly.
"M-m-married? To who?" Ranma asked lamely.
Andrew: The Queen of Spatulas?
A-ko: Heelllo Nurse?
Washu: The Dirty Pair?
Lina: Naga? (Everyone looks strangely at Lina.) Well it was just a suggestion.
Andrew: Naga and Kodachi should never meet.
A-ko: Chibi-Usa and Azusa Shiritori should NEVER meet at the McDonald's
Beenie Baby Fire Sale.
Washu: Goooood point.
"To Akari, you idiot!" Ryoga scowled, smacking Ranma on the side of his
head.
"Ouch, jeez, right, right. Sorry, it's kind of a shock, that's all," Ranma
explained.
"I guess it would be, to you. But I've been thinking about it for a while
now, every since you and Akane almost got married last year," Ryoga said
seriously.
"So you're completely over Akane?" Ranma asked skeptically.
"Have you seen P-Chan around lately?" Ryoga asked back.
"No. No, I haven't," Ranma admitted grudgingly.
"Right. And you're not going to, at least, not if I can help it," Ryoga
replied.
"So what's this favor you want? Need help getting' to the church on time or
something?" Ranma asked, smirking slightly.
Andrew (singing): "Oh, I'm getting married in the moring! Ding dong! The
bells are gonna chime."
Washu (also singing): "Pull out the stopper! Let's have a whopper!"
Everyone (singing): "But get me to the church on time!"
"Actually, a little more than that," Ryoga replied.
"Oh? What do ya need?" Ranma asked seriously.
"Ranma, I- I don't really have too many friends," Ryoga said, turning
slightly away from Ranma. "Who am kidding? I don't have -any- friends. I
just don't stay in one place long enough, you know?"
Ranma (singing): "I've got friends in low places/Where the whiskey drowns
and the beer chases..."
Everyone else (singing):"...My blues away/And I'll be okay!"
Ranma just nodded, he
understood Ryoga's feelings completely. "I haven't even scene any of my
family in years, they're all lost too," Ryoga continued.
"Do you want me to help you look for them? I mean, school just ended today.
We can spend all summer looking for them, if ya want," Ranma suggested.
"Thanks, but no. It would be too hard to keep us all together even if you
did find them all. That's not why I'm here. Ranma, I want you to be my
best man," Ryoga said.
A-ko: Didn't expect that, huh?
Ranma: Actually, I thought he wanted me to be an usher.
"Me? But you- I mean-"
"Ranma, the thing with the bread feud, and even the Jusenkyo curse became
meaningless when I fell in love with Akane. I fought you because you were
my rival. I hated you because you took for granted what I so desperately
wanted. Now, well, I don't love Akane anymore, and I can't find a reason to
hate you. Believe me, I've tried! You are and idiot and a jerk! And
La Blue Girl (imitating Ryouga):...that's good enough.
I -still- think Akane deserves better than you, but I just can't hate you,"
Ryoga explained.
"I'll be honored to be your best man," Ranma replied, formally bowing to
Ryoga.
"Thanks, I appreciate it," Ryoga replied, bowing back.
"I never really hated ya Ryoga. I just got mad 'cause you were always
getting in the way or sleeping in Akane's bed, and then -I'd- get blamed for
it! You're always callin' me dishonorable and a pervert, but -you- were
worse!" Ranma said heatedly.
"So we both have our faults," Ryoga agreed. "But at least I've learned from
mine! I've moved on in my life Ranma, what about you?" He asked.
Washu: Ah, a kindler, gentler Ryouga?
Andrew (imitiating George Bush/Ryouga): Read my lips...no...new...pigs...
"What are you talking about?" Ranma asked defensively.
"You know what I'm talking about! Akane loves you, and you love her. You
all but admitted it when she nearly died, remember? You can deny it all you
want, but I was there! Now, you're pushing her away again. It's always the
same thing with you. What's it going to take Ranma? Having her -really-
die?" Ryoga asked vehemently.
Andrew: That idea has been waaay overdone.
"Shut up! Our relationship is none of your damn business!" Ranma spat out.
"You just don't get it, do you? You have no idea what its like to love
someone and know that they love you. It's wonderful. Heh, I haven't been
able to perform the Shi Shi Hokudan in months, ever since Akari agreed to
marry me. I just can't get depressed. Looks like I'm going to have to
learn your way of do it," Ryoga said, smiling a bit ruefully. He wasn't
used to being happy for days on end. It was like a dream and he was scared
that he would wake up soon.
Lina: And find out he's P-chan and he's being grilled.
"I'll teach it to ya. It'll be my wedding gift," Ranma said dryly. Ryoga
smiled in reply, shaking his head in resignation and after a few moments he
began to laugh. Ranma, in spite of himself, joined in.
Ranma: Then I realized that my pants were down.
La Blue Girl: And I love what's underneath your pants! (She goes back
sucking...well you know. Ranma blushes.)
***********************************************
"I'm home!" Ranma called as he entered the Tendo house.
"What took you so long, Ranma? We're about to eat dinner," Akane said from
the dining table. Ranma sat down next to Akane and quickly filled his bowl
with rice.
Andrew: It was the only thing Akane *didn't* make.
(Suddenly there's a bolt of lightning and from the Tardis' Control Center,
a brown haze comes in. Suddenly, the three Tendo girls pop in...Akane
holding her mallet.)
Akane: Finally...Ranma! You Pervert!
Kasumi: Oh, my! (Nabiki takes a snap shot.)
Nabiki: Juicy!
Kasumi: It's that girl from La Blue Girl! I've always wanted to be like
you! (Everyone stops what they're doing and turns to Kasumi.)
Nabiki: Did I just heard what I thought I heard?
Andrew: Something tells me these girls are not from Ranma's Nermia.
Kasumi (to La Blue Girl): I have all six videos that you've been in! I've
watched them dozens of times.
A-ko: No wonder Dr. Tofu has been crazy all this time.
"Sorry, I was talkin' to Ryoga," Ranma explained, giving Akane a small
smile.
"Ryoga-kun? I haven't seen him in awhile. You two weren't fighting, were
you?" Akane asked suspiciously. The rest of the family subtly edged away
>from the dinner table. It was getting easy to predict the fights that
ensued between the engaged pair.
Nabiki: No, they were getting ready for their WWF debut.
Andrew: The winner gets a case of Bud Light.
"No, we didn't fight. Actually, I don't think we'll being fighting anymore;
ever," Ranma replied, smiling thoughtfully. Nodoka looked up at her son in
surprise.
"Did the two of you settle your differences, then?" She asked.
Washu (imitiating Ranma): His lawyer called my lawyer, and we'll let them
settle it in court.
Andrew: By the way, Nabiki, did I see you in "Ally McBeal?" (Nabiki glares
at Andrew.)
Nabiki: If I see one more dancing baby, I'll scream.
"Sorta. The main thing is, he asked Akari to marry him. I think he's too
happy to be mad at me," Ranma replied.
"They're getting married? When? Where are they having the ceremony?" Akane
asked excitedly.
Lina: It'll be about six years from now.
Akane: Why six years?
Ranma: He'll have to find a honeymoon place. With all of the traveling he's
been, Kami-sama knows how many spots he's has in mind.
Akane: Oh. Okay, Ranma, time to go back with us!
"Hey! I don't know all the details! He just said that he proposed and that
she accepted. Oh, he also asked me to be his best man," Ranma said.
"He asked -you- to be his best man?" Nabiki asked flatly.
Andrew: It's amazing what one will do for a Coors six-pack.
"Yeah. What's wrong with that?" Ranma challenged, forgetting his own shock
at Ryoga's request.
"The guy's been trying to kill you since he got here. You have to it admit,
it's pretty strange that he wants you to be his best man," Nabiki pointed
out.
"Oh Nabiki, Ryoga-kun isn't like that all! Ranma just kept picking on him!
That's the only reason he fought him. Ryoga-kun is a really nice guy,"
Akane protested.
"Yeah right," Ranma muttered as he started shoveling food into his mouth.
"Did you say something, Ranma?" Akane asked.
Ranma: Yeah, I said you were uncute! (Akane naturally hits him with a mallet.)
Akane: Baka!
"Not really. I was just thinking that I'm glad Ryoga's gonna be getting off
my back now. This is the first one of my problems that managed to get
fixed!" Ranma said happily. "Well, maybe the second problem," he amended,
glancing at his mother.
"So, when are they getting married?" Soun asked.
"I dunno. It's at least a couple of months away. It'll take Ryoga that
long to invite everyone," Ranma replied.
"I see, perhaps you and Akane could-"
"I think we may want to hold of the that idea for awhile, wouldn't you
agree, Tendo-san?" Nodoka quickly interrupted. Soun glanced at Nodoka then
looked at Akane and Ranma. A small blush had grown on Akane's cheeks and
she was staring intently into her rice bowl. In contrast, Ranma's face had
paled and his chopsticks wavered unsteadily in his hand.
La Blue Girl: Sounds like Ranma trying to lead an orchrestra.
"I suppose you're right," Soun replied, letting out a frustrated sigh.
(When are those two going to stop this nonsense?) He wondered as Ranma and
Akane visibly relaxed. The glanced at each other simultaneously and
blushed. Soun shook his head ruefully. (Well, at least they're not yelling
or destroying the house. Perhaps there's hope for them yet,) he thought.
"Ranma? How were your finals?" Nodoka asked, trying to ease past the
tension.
"Huh? Oh, they were okay, I guess. I think I passed," he replied.
Andrew (reading a grade card): Not with a F in sewing, you're not.
Nabiki: Hey! That's my grade card! (Andrew falls over.)
Ranma: That explains why you never DID anything around the house, Nabiki.
Kasumi: You should see her cook. At she knows that C-ko and Akane can cook
circles around her.
Nabiki (who's blushing): Don't make it worse than it already it, oneechan...
Ranma: I didn't think Akane could cook circles. (Akane tries to mallet
Ranma, but it misses his head and lands in his groin. Ranma bugs out and
faints. Remember, he's naked.)
Washu (talking into a recorder): Note to myself: I want to personally
approve the next script.
"You're lucky that Akane was there to help you boy," Genma observed. Ranma
was about to protest, but glanced at Akane and opted for simply nodding his
head.
"Yeah, I guess I am," he admitted. Akane looked at him, her eyes searching
his face for any sign of insult or sarcasm; she found none.
"Good. In that case you'll be able to enjoy your summer vacation," Nodoka
said warmly.
Andrew (imitiating Ranma & Dustin Hoffman): Mrs. Saotome, you are trying to
seduce me...aren't you?
"Yeah," Ranma replied noncommittally as he started wolfing down his dinner
once again.
(Ranma wakes up.)
"Ranma? Know that you're out of school, I was wondering, do you have any
plans for the next few days?" Nodoka asked hopefully.
Ranma (as he's looking at a pocket calender): Let's see...I fight Prince
Herb on the 16th...I have a Miss Anime Universe Competition on the
19th-22nd...I try out for the "Tomb Raider: the Movie" on the 27th...nope!
I'm free!
Ranma ignored Genma's warning glance as he looked at his mother and shook
his head. "Any plans? No, not really. I was just gonna stay here, spar
with the Old Man a bit and see what comes up," he replied.
La Blue Girl: Speaking of coming up...
(Washu quickly pushes Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi back into the brown haze
where they came from.)
Andrew: Hey, why did you do that? It wasn't in the script!
Washu: I noticed that Kasumi's eyes were starting to fog over as she was
looking at her. (She points to the Blue Girl.)
"Wonderful! You'll be able to come on a 'training' trip with me then,"
Nodoka said cheerfully.
"A training trip?" Ranma asked, glancing meaningfully at the ever-present
katana that was resting at Nodoka's side.
"No, not with this," Nodoka laughed, resting her hand on the katana.
Andrew: Ranma didn't notice the hatchet that Nodoka had in her other hand.
"Oh?" Ranma asked, looking at his mother inquiringly.
"Well, it's not -really- a training trip. It's just an opportunity for us
to spend some time together," Nodoka explained.
"Uh, okay... sure," Ranma said, wondering what had instigated this idea.
"That is, if you want to go. I don't want to force you into anything,"
Nodoka said in a small voice.
"No! It's fine, I- I'd like ta spend some quality time with you. We- we
haven't really gotten a chance to do that," Ranma replied.
Lina: About 10 years worth, I'd say.
Andrew: If you gonna have Ranma stutter, I-I-I s-su-suggest you do it this
way.
"Great! You'd better get packed after dinner then. We'll be leaving in the
morning," Nodoka said.
"Well, I'm done eating now, so I'm gonna go get packed!" Ranma said,
bolting from the dinner table.
"How long will you be gone, Auntie?" Akane asked after Ranma was out of
ear-shot.
Washu (imitating Nodoka): Oh, until the Cubs win the World Series.
"It will only be for a few days Akane-chan," Nodoka assured her.
"Why? I mean, is there any reason you want to take him away?" Akane asked
hesitantly.
"I don't have any ulterior motives dear, this isn't about your marriage,"
A-ko (imitating Nodoka): I do, however, want another child.
Everyone else: A-ko!
Washu: That's it, A-ko, I'm going to burn your "Super Taboo" mangas!
Lina (to the camera): If you have to ask, "what's 'Super Taboo'?", you're
not a pervert.
Nodoka replied, laughing warmly as Akane blushed. "I just want to spend
some time with him, that's all," Nodoka finished.
**********************************************
Ranma pulled his old bag pack out his closet and stared at it fondly as he
set it on the floor. (It's been awhile since I needed ya,) he thought,
reverently wiping away the dust that had accumulated on it. He hadn't been
on any kind of adventure or training trip since returning from Mt. Phoenix a
year ago. He didn't know what his mother had planned, but he decided that
getting away from Nerima for a few days wasn't such a bad idea. (Besides,
there's some stuff I need ta think about,) he thought soberly.
"Man, I can't believe Ryoga's getting' married!" Ranma exclaimed as he
started stuffing clothes into the bag pack. (I can't believe he built up
enough nerve to actually ask her!)
Lina (as she's eating an entire tub of butter): And I can't believe it's
not butter! (Andrew looks disgusted seeing Lina eat an entire tub of butter.)
Andrew: Lina, would you stop making me sick?
Ranma thought, and that was closer to the
truth. Deep down, he knew Ryoga and Akari would eventually get married; it
was only a matter of time. (Just like me an' Akane,) he thought. (But
what's stoppin' me? If Ryoga could do it, why can't I?)
La Blue Girl: Because you're afraid of what you'll have to do to please her.
Lina: Because you're scared.
Washu: Because you fear Akane made the wedding cake.
Andrew: Because you rather write the new edition of the Spanish Inquistion
than to ever have a woman in your life.
A-ko: Actually, I don't think Ranma *knows* what the Spanish Inquistion
was. (Ranma glares at them.)
Ranma: Leave me alone!
Ranma's thoughts were interrupted as Genma quietly sneaked into his room.
"What's up Old Man?" Ranma asked in irritation.
"Quietly boy! I don't want your mother to here me," Genma warned.
Washu: Your mission, Ranma, should you choose it...
"What are ya planning Pop?" Ranma asked wearily.
Ranma (imitating Genma): Running away for the next ten years?
"I'm not planning anything. I just wanted to talk to you about this trip
Ranma," Genma replied.
Andrew (imitating Genma): Remember...plastics!
"Right. Why aren't -you- coming with us, Old Man?" Ranma asked.
"I wasn't invited. In fact, I was -specifically- not invited," Genma
grumbled.
La Blue Girl: It's my unbirthday too!
Andrew (looking strangely at the hentaii anime film queen): Where did that
come from?
"You do somethin' ta make Mom angry?" Ranma asked, grinning widely.
"Yes, I separated her from her son for ten years," Genma replied, sighing
loudly. "She may not have used that katana on me boy, but she hasn't
forgiven me yet either," he continued.
"Pops, look, I-"
"Let me finish, boy. You have no experience with mothers so you don't know
what to expect. They can become. . . emotional.. They get upset at the
littlest things! They go from laughter to tears within seconds, and no one
knows better how to use guilt as a weapon. In spite of all that, they spend
the rest of their lives worrying about what the world will do their
children; and no one in your life will ever love you more than your mother,
Ranma; not even Akane," he finished.
Andrew: You know, my mom gave me so many guilt trips, I qualified for TWA's
frequent flyer program. (We switch over to see Ryo-ok-hi playing drums and
giving a rim shot for that last joke. If you call that a joke.)
"What's this trip really about?" Ranma asked, a bit scared at Genma's
revelation.
"I have no idea, boy. I'm just warning you to be careful. You don't know
what to expect, and the two of you may end up hurting one another," Genma
warned.
"I'd never hurt Mom!" Ranma gasped, horrified at the thought.
A-ko: Having sex, through, that's something different. (WHAM! Everyone
looks at Ranma branishing a mallet. A-ko is out cold.)
Ranma: Hey, you don't spend all this time around Akane without learning
SOMETHING. (Everyone else face-faults.)
"Not intentionally, no. But then again, you really haven't spent much time
with her, have you? She's known about the curse for over a year now Ranma,
but you still keep your distance," Genma pointed out.
"N-not on purpose! Things just kinda happen. You -know- what my life is
like!" Ranma exclaimed defensively.
"Yes, I know. I also know that none of those 'things' are going to happen
to you for the next few days. Just. . . be careful," Genma said.
"I don't understand what yer talkin' about, but I'll be careful," Ranma said
dubiously. Genma was about to reply, but was interrupted by a knock on the
door.
Lina: Opportunity calling!
"Ranma? Can I come in?" Akane asked from behind the door.
"Sure Akane," Ranma replied.
"Remember what I've told you Ranma," Genma said, as the door opened and
Akane walked in.
La Blue Girl (imitating Genma): Remember, the world can only run on steam!
Washu: Uh, La Blue Girl, wrong character.
"I'm sorry, am I interrupting you two?" Akane asked Genma.
"Not at all Akane, I was just leaving," Genma replied, walking out of the
room and closing the door behind him.
"So Akane, what did ya want?" Ranma asked, trying to make sense of the
conversation he just had.
"Your mother is really looking forward to this trip Ranma," she replied.
A-ko: In more ways that one!
Andrew: I'm really having difficulties resisting the urge to @bap one to
A-ko...
"Really? You been talkin' to her about it?" Ranma asked, a slightly hard
edge in his voice.
"When did you start being so paranoid?' Akane asked, rolling her eyes.
Ranma: Let's say the mallet in your hand is a clue.
"We
didn't talk about you or this trip, but you can see the excitement in her
eyes. I- I don't think any of us realize how lonely she was during all
those years without her family," Akane explained softly.
"I know," Ranma replied hoarsely. "But it's okay now, we're all together
again," he continued.
"It's good for the two of you to spend time together. She needs it and, I
think, so do you. So, d-don't worry about anything. E-Everything around
here will be fine, take as much time as you need to get to know each other,
okay?" Akane requested.
Washu: Aww...how nice!
"Akane. . . Th-thanks. I'll back as soon as I can," Ranma replied.
Akane nodded and moved back towards the door. "I'd better let you get
packed," she said, opening the door and slipping outside to the hallway.
"Maybe it's about time ta solve some of my -other- problems," Ranma
murmured, staring at the closed door in front of him.
**************************************************
Ranma yawned as the first rays of sunlight became visible through his
bedroom window. He let out an irritated growl and buried his head under his
pillow. Ranma was never a morning person, and the -last- thing he wanted to
do on his first day of vacation was wake up early. The door to his room
slowly opened, but he didn't hear it. Ranma was once again sleeping deeply.
Nodoka silently crept into Ranma's room and gazed at his sleeping form. She
smiled in sad remembrance, recalling the times, many years ago, when she
would look at her son's sleeping form, then kiss him goodnight, praying that
he would remain safe. To anyone else, it would have seemed silly, really.
After all, what could possibly harm him in the comfort of his own home? But
a mother always prayed, and hoped, and kept a silent vigil over her
children.
Andrew: Then she glomped on him. (Andrew gets hit by Lina.)
Nodoka giggled at the sight of Ranma's prone form. The only visible part of
his body was his two arms, which were holding his pillow in place. She
knelt beside his futon and gently shook his arm. "Ranma-chan, it's time to
wake up," she said softly. Seeing that she was getting absolutely no
response, she shook his arm a little harder. "Ranma! Wake up!" She said.
She heard him groan softly as his arms tightened around the pillow. (Akane
wasn't joking,) Nodoka thought. Her son's fianc�e had warned her how
soundly Ranma slept. "Hey Sleepy Head, time to wake up!" Nodoka chided as
she pulled off the blanket that was covering Ranma. He still did not
respond; it was as if he hadn't even realized that the blanket was missing.
(Well, it always worked on me when I was a little girl,) Nodoka thought.
She was almost ready to use Akane's suggestion of a bucket of cold water
when an idea occurred to her. Grinning slightly, she lifted one side of the
pillow, and took a deep breath. "Ranma no baka!" She yelled loudly.
Ranma: I *hate* when they do THAT!
Ranma's response was immediate. He jumped out of the futon and landed hard,
face first onto the floor. "I'm sorry Akane! There's no need to-" he
babbled loudly before noticing his mother's laughing form sitting next to
his futon. "M-Mom? What's goin' on?" Ranma asked sleepily.
"It's time for breakfast Ranma," Nodoka replied, grinning broadly.
Ranma nodded his head absently and glanced at the large bag pack sitting
in one corner of his room. "So, are we leavin' after breakfast?" He asked.
"That's right," Nodoka replied, "Hurry up and brush your teeth! The food
will be ready shortly."
"All right," Ranma replied as he followed Nodoka out of the bedroom. They
walked downstairs and Ranma entered the bathroom and started brushing his
teeth. His drowsiness left him while he went through his morning routine.
After a few minutes, he left the bathroom feeling refreshed and more than a
little excited over his impending journey. (No school, no fianc�es, no
Kuno. . . Man, this is gonna be nice,) Ranma thought.
The rest of the household was already present at the dining table as Ranma
sat down next to Akane. "Are you all packed Ranma?" Akane asked as Kasumi
and Nodoka started placing food on the table.
"Yeah. I'm pretty much ready ta go," Ranma replied.
"That's good. You usually put that stuff off until the last minute," Akane
said.
Ranma: What did she mean by that?
Washu: I think you didn't put any deorderant.
Ranma: Oh.
"It's not a big deal Akane. I can pack for a trip really quickly when I
need to," Ranma pointed out, smiling slightly.
"I guess that's true," Akane conceded, smiling as well, "Do you know where
the two of you will be going?" She asked.
Washu (imitating Akane): I hear that China's nice this time of year.
"Actually, no. Hey Mom, where are we going anyway?" Ranma asked.
"Not very far. We'll be taking a bus to Chiba. I thought a few days at the
beach might be nice," Nodoka replied.
"Chiba? Are you going to your parent's cottage?" Genma asked, somewhat
surprised.
"Yes. Is there anything wrong with that?" Nodoka asked curiously.
La Blue Girl: Not really...
"No, nothing wrong. . . I just forgot about that place," Genma replied
sheepishly.
"Somehow, I'm not surprised, Dearest. After all, we only spent
our -honeymoon- there!" Nodoka replied sarcastically.
Washu: If you had sex in your parent's trailer...you might be a redneck.
Andrew: Actually, that's a pretty good sign your marriage isn't gonna be good.
(Oh man, we'd better leave soon, before Pop gets himself into even -more-
trouble,) Ranma thought.
Lina: Too late.
Ranma: Actually, I have to agree.
**************************************
"Here we are!" Nodoka said cheerfully as she and Ranma stood in front of the
small cottage that would be their home for the next few days.
"Check out the view!" Ranma said appreciatively as he looked at the sandy
beach and ocean blue water that was in the background behind the cottage.
Andrew: Then they noticed the plant where Mechs are built.
Ranma: No wonder the ocean was really blue.
"Yes. It is quite nice, isn't it? I always loved waking up in the morning
and walking out into that backyard," Nodoka agreed.
After breakfast, Ranma and Nodoka had boarded a bus that would take them to
Chiba. A three-mile walk from the bus stop to the cottage followed the
two-hour bus trip.
Lina: Huh? I don't get it?
The cottage was located on a small, surprisingly
isolated, stretch of beach. It was a tiny cottage; smaller than even the
Saotome home. (Before the girls destroyed it, anyway,) Ranma thought wryly.
Andrew: Hello, kettle, this is pot. You're black!
"Shall we go in?" Nodoka asked.
"Yeah, guess we'd better get unpacked and settled in," Ranma replied.
"We probably need to clean the place as well, I haven't been here in well
over a year," Nodoka commented.
Washu: Must have been the huge spiderweb on the doorstep.
La Blue Girl: A project only Kasumi would love.
She entered the cottage, Ranma walking
closely behind her. The curtains were closed and the cottage was dark. The
only light came from the open front door. Ranma walked inside and looked
around curiously. The living room was well furnished; there was a small
sofa, several chairs, and a dining table present. Several pictures adorned
the walls and there was even a small television set sitting on a small
coffee table. Nodoka briskly opened all the curtains and the small house a
critical inspection. "I was right. We do need to clean up a bit," Nodoka
said. "Ranma, why don't you start on the bedrooms while I take care of
things in here," she suggested.
"Sure, no problem," Ranma replied. Ranma walked to the small hallway the
led to the bedrooms. He noticed a light switch on the wall and turned it
on. On the ceiling above him, a light bulb suddenly came to life, flashing
a few times before flaring brightly.
Lina: It said, "Get out. You're in danger." (Andrew hits his face.)
Andrew: Great, we've gone from "The Graduate" to "Psycho."
There was a single door on the left wall of the hallway and two doors on the
right. Ranma entered the first door on the right and entered a bedroom.
Finding the light switch, he turned it on and looked around the room.
"Woah, the bedroom's got furniture in it too!" Ranma exclaimed. He was
having trouble adjusting to the fact that he was going to relatively
comfortable during this trip.
(Everyone looks at Ranma.)
Andrew (mockingly sad): Poor Ranma! You're so deprived!
Washu: I guess, this isn't the time to show our silk-infested rooms. I took
the room out of the Master Clue set and the movie.
Every time he had gone training with his
father, they had stayed out doors, sometimes without the benefit of even a
tent. Although not as large as the Tendo home, the cottage was luxurious in
comparison to his usual fare.
The previous occupant of the room was obviously a girl. The bed was
covered with a pink cotton blanket with floral designs. A dresser in corner
of the room had several stuffed animals sitting on it. (Mom was right
though, the place does need to be cleaned,) Ranma thought, noticing the
layers of dust that covered everything. He walked over to a nightstand
that was placed next to the bed. The small table had a lamp and a framed
picture sitting on top of it. Ranma picked up the frame and wiped away the
dust that was covering the photograph.
In spite of himself, Ranma smiled as he looked at the picture. It was of a
young girl, about six years of age, wearing a kimono. She would have looked
quite lady like if it wasn't for the dripping ice cream cone in her hands
and the smattering of ice cream stuck all over her face. "That's a picture
of me as a little girl," Nodoka said quietly from the bedroom doorway.
Startled, Ranma nearly dropped the picture.
Ranma: Great, I think I just realized where my looks came from.
Washu: It obviously didn't come from your father.
Ranma: No doubt.
"I, uh, was just lookin' around," Ranma explained lamely.
"There's no need to apologize. This is why I brought you here after all. I
want you to know me a little better, and then maybe, you'll let -me- get to
know you a little better as well," Nodoka replied, smiling hopefully.
Ranma: Okay...who are you anyway?
"Yeah, sure," Ranma said uncertainly. (Get to know me better? What's she
talkin' about?) Ranma thought. He tried to recall every detail of his
conversation with his father, hoping to uncover some detail that would help
him.
"We had better hurry up and getting everything cleaned, then I'll fix us
some lunch," Nodoka suggested.
"Great! I'm startin' to get hungry!" Ranma exclaimed, his confusion and
worry forgotten.
Nodoka shook her head and smiled sadly as she left the bedroom. (Oh
Ranma-chan, I hope you can find the courage to let me be your mother,) she
thought.
Andrew: You know, I just realized something.
Lina: What?
Andrew: There's too much thinking going on in this fic. I've noticed that a
lot of fics that I read, the authors have this tendancy to show what the
people are thinking.
Washu: I agree.
Ranma: What's wrong with that?
Washu: It kinda puts everything on a silver platter for the readers without
letting the readers figure this out for themselves. You'd be surprised how
many readers enjoy finding out what's going on in a story.
*************************************************
"So? How's lunch?" Nodoka asked.
"It's good! I haven't had fish curry in a long time!" Ranma exclaimed,
quickly shoveling food into his mouth.
(Andrew frowns.)
Andrew: I hate fresh fish.
"The markets here have fresh fish. That's part of the reason right there,"
Nodoka said modestly.
"That's not it, you're a great cook! That's why it tastes so good," Ranma
protested.
Nodoka smiled and nodded her head in acknowledgement. (If only he could
pay -Akane- such complements,) she thought. She watched bemusedly as Ranma
continued to eat. (Akane has improved her cooking skills, but she's going
to have to get a lot better to keep up with him,) she thought.
"Whew. I'm full! Thanks Mom, that was great," Ranma said, letting out a
contented sigh.
"I'm glad you liked it, Ranma-chan. You're like your father in that regard.
He used to inhale everything in site. I amazed he survived all those years
on the road with my cooking!" Nodoka exclaimed, laughing softly.
Lina: You mean "without my cooking."
"No need to worry about that! Pop was very creative when it came to finding
food," Ranma muttered darkly.
Ranma: I STILL can't believe Pops would trade me for a fish, rice cake, and
two pickles! Genma no baka!
"Yes, I know, dear. He's caused you a few problems," Nodoka said.
"A 'few' problems? Yeah, you could say that," Ranma snorted.
Nodoka picked up the dishes and took them into the kitchen. "Well, for a
few days, you won't have to worry about your father," she said, walking back
into the living room.
"I guess so," Ranma replied, visibly brightening.
"So, what would you like to do?" Nodoka asked, sitting down at the dining
table once again.
"Do?" Ranma asked, somewhat confused.
Lina (imitating Nodoka): You know, play Monopoly, see the sites of the
town, see the hanging corpse off the pier there.
Andrew: You know, I do see Nodoka and Ranma becoming a detective duo.
"It's still pretty early. Would you like to go to the beach?" Nodoka asked.
"Er. . . I didn't bring a bathing suit," Ranma replied, a blush growing on
his face.
"Why would that matter- Oh! I see," Nodoka said, realizing Ranma's problem.
"Yeah, I don't like to go near -that- much cold water unprepared," Ranma
replied.
"Well, is there anything else you would like to do?" Nodoka asked. Ranma
looked at her blankly in response and Nodoka sighed. "What do you and your
father usually do when you go on trips?" She asked.
"We train.
Washu: In Anaheim, Bel Air and Cu-cuku-monga!
Pop comes up with these crazy new techniques and training
methods. Usually they're pretty stupid, but once in a while, he comes up
with a useful idea," he replied.
"That's it? The two of you just train? All the time?" Nodoka asked in
bewilderment.
Ranma: Yep, and we switch trains all the time. I personally love the Chunnel!
"Well, yeah. I mean, that's why we go on training trips! To, ya know,
train," Ranma said.
"Didn't you ever talk?" Nodoka asked, not willing to give up.
"Sure! We talked all the time! Pop had ta explain the techniques to me,
and then I had ta explain what an idiot he was," Ranma replied sincerely.
Lina: Ah, party politics.
Ranma: Actually, Pops hated the LDP. I kinda lean towards that party's
beliefs.
Andrew: That's surprising.
"That's not exactly what I meant. . . Well, never mind. Why don't we just
sit down on the sofa and talk for a bit?" Nodoka suggested.
"Okay," Ranma replied. Mother and son got up from the dining table and
moved to the sofa in the living room. Ranma sat at one corner of the sofa,
trying to sink into the soft and incredibly comfortable cushions. He
stretched his right arm out on the backrest and relaxed. Nodoka smiled as
she sat down next to him, relieved that some of the stress he carried was
leaving him.
A-ko (as she's waking up): Um...have they gotten to the--- (Lina grabs A-ko
roughly by the neck.)
Lina: One more perverted word out of you, and I'll turn you over to C-ko!
(A-ko nods.)
"So, what do you want to talk about?" Nodoka asked.
"Huh? I, uh, I. . . dunno," Ranma replied.
"Okay then, how were your finals?" Nodoka asked, vainly trying to start up a
conversation.
(Uh. . . Didn't she ask me that last night?) Ranma thought. "The tests
were okay, I guess," he replied.
"You were very lucky that Akane-chan was there to help you," Nodoka
observed, unconsciously mirroring her husband's words.
Ranma: I was even *more* lucky that she didn't try to force feed her food
to me.
"Yeah, guess I was. You know, Akane's pretty good at that school stuff,"
Ranma admitted.
Nodoka blinked in surprise. This was the first time she had heard Ranma say
something nice about his fianc�e. "Ranma, have you told her that?" she
asked gently.
"Huh? Told her what?" Ranma asked
"Told her that she was good in academics," Nodoka explained exasperatedly.
"Er, no. . ," Ranma replied slowly.
"You should. She tries very hard to please you. It would be nice if you
paid her a compliment once in awhile," Nodoka suggested.
"Tries hard? To please me?" Ranma asked, completely bewildered.
"Why do you think she helped you study for your tests? Why do you think she
tries so hard cook, and insist that you eat what she prepares?" Nodoka
demanded.
"I dunno. . . I always thought she was punishing me for something," Ranma
replied lamely.
"P-Punishing you?!" Nodoka sputtered, giving her son an incredulous stare.
Ranma: Mom obviously didn't eat Akane's cooking.
Looking at his sheepish and confused face, she started laughing. "Oh dear.
You are going to have a very interesting marriage," Nodoka said mirthfully.
(If you manage to survive the honeymoon.)
Washu: I give it 5-1 odds Ranma and Akane survive the honeymoon.
A-ko: Heck, I give 9-1 odds Ranma and Akane suvive the _wedding ceremony_.
"Mom? What's the big deal with an arranged marriage anyway? Didn't you
think it would it better if I pick my own wife?" Ranma asked hesitantly.
Andrew: Honestly, Ranma, who would you pick if you had a choice?
Ranma: I'd pick no one. I'd rather be single than be married.
"It is a matter of honor. Before anything else, you are a Saotome. The
head of your clan made this arrangement with the head of the Tendo Clan.
You would shame everyone involved by breaking it. Besides, can you honestly
tell me that you don't have any feelings for Akane?" Nodoka asked.
La Blue Girl: Nodoka would make a great politician.
"That's not the point," Ranma mumbled softly, averting his eyes from
Nodoka's gaze.
"Then what is the point? You'll be fulfilling your familial
obligation -and- marrying the woman you love; few people are as fortunate,"
Nodoka observed.
"I think, if Akane and I weren't being forced into this, we'd get along a
lot better," Ranma explained.
"Ranma, I really didn't want to talk about this right now. You're going to
marry Akane, and that's final. I was hoping, though, to give you a little
bit of a break from the constant stress of your life. So how about we drop
this useless argument, okay?" Nodoka suggested.
Andrew: I wouldn't call this useless.
A-ko: And I wouldn't drop the issue so soon. You know this the main tension
between Ranma and Nadoka. Not to mention Nodoka's wish to score...(She
looks over and everyone glares at her.)a victory for tradition!
Washu: Decent save. But not decent enough.
(You're the one who wanted to talk,) Ranma thought. "Sure. . . fine. Well,
I think I'm gonna go practice a kata or something. Ya know, just to work
off lunch," he said.
"I. . . see," Nodoka said sadly as Ranma walked away.
************************************
Dinner turned out to be a quiet event in the small cottage. Neither mother
nor son spoke a word, and the occasional clicking of chopsticks was the only
noise that could be heard. Ranma had spent the rest of the afternoon
walking around Chiba, trying to determine a way to get closer to his mother
without offending her sense of honor. Nodoka had spent that time alone, in
silent regret, wondering if she still had a chance to be a part of her son's
life.
(I think I understand what Pop was saying now,) Ranma thought. He had not
truly realized how important honor was to his mother. (Then why didn't she
make me commit seppuku?) Ranma wondered. He didn't know where he stood in
her estimation. There was obviously a balance between motherly love and
honor, but what was it?
Andrew: Somewhere between here and Honshu, I think.
"Ranma? Is something wrong? You've been quiet all evening," Nodoka
ventured.
Ranma: Well, actually, I miss fighting with Pops for food.
"Huh? No, I'm feeling fine," Ranma replied, laughing nervously. As when
faced with the possibility of any emotional confrontation, Ranma fell back
to his standard defense; denial.
"Please Ranma, if there's something bothering you, I want to know about it,"
Nodoka insisted.
Washu: There goes his standard defense.
"Aw Mom, nothing's bothering me. I'm just. . . tired, I guess," Ranma
replied lamely.
(Tired? Him?) Nodoka thought unbelievingly. "Ranma, I'm not going to judge
you. I'm not going to get angry with you. Sometimes, a people need to talk
about their problems, that's all I'm offering you," she explained.
Lina: Since when does Nodoka become a Dr. Laura?
Washu: If I was Dr. Laura, I'd see about suing Genma for child abuse.
Andrew: Actually, I think Ranma needs Dr. Drew more than he needs Dr. Laura.
La Blue Girl: Hmm...I thought Dr. Ruth Westimer would have been sufficient.
"Thanks Mom, but I'm okay. I don't really like ta talk about that kinda
stuff," Ranma replied.
"What 'stuff'?" Nodoka asked.
"Ya know, emotions and junk like that. Guys don't talk about things like
that!" Ranma exclaimed.
Ranma: Yeah!
Andrew: They rather talk about how Jeff Gordon wins the Coke-Cola 600 at
Charlotte, NC or that perfect game David Wells pitched.
Lina: Or what a pathetic job the Lakers did in Game 4. They hardly showed
up at all.
Washu: I still think Bulls in four.
"Where did you get such a ridiculous idea like that?" Nodoka demanded.
"From Pops," Ranma replied flatly.
"I see," Nodoka replied, her anger deflating, "Ranma, your father may know a
great deal about Martial Arts, but he doesn't seem to know much about life."
Ranma: Hmm...well I knew that he never won at Life. Always lost everything
when he puts everything to become a Millionaire Tycoon.
"Heh. I figured that out a long time ago," Ranma said.
"Then why follow his way? You're too young to carry so many burdens alone.
All I want to do is help you. You can be so much happier if you just talk
about your problems," Nodoka said earnestly.
"I understand what yer sayin', but I wasn't raised that way! Pops and I
never talked about our problems. The Art was the only thing that held us
together. We have nothing in common besides that; and he- he didn't care
about anything besides that," Ranma said quietly.
Andrew: Oh, oh, I think Ranma gonna explode!
Ranma: Take cover! (Pauses for a second.) Wait a minute, what did I just
_say_?
"Ranma. . . "
"So I learned to deal with things for myself. I didn't -talk-. I
didn't -whine-. I didn't -explain-. Most of all, I didn't cry! Cause a man
doesn't cry!" Ranma yelled vehemently.
Nodoka was speechless. She just stared at Ranma, not know what to do or
what to say. (My son. What happened to you? What kind of hell did my
husband put you through?) She wondered as tears welled up in her eyes.
Ranma: More than you ever want to know.
(Oh man! She's crying.) Ranma thought frantically. He remembered what his
father had said about hurting her. (We've only been here a few hours and
I've already messed things up,) he thought miserably. Before he could blame
himself even further, Nodoka embraced him and held him tightly.
"Oh my poor Ranma-chan," she murmured softly as she cried.
"Mom?" Ranma asked, hesitantly putting his arms around her. She just held
him tighter, leaving Ranma confused and uncomfortable. "I- I'm sorry, Mom.
I didn't mean ta make ya cry," Ranma said guiltily after a few minutes
"What?" Nodoka asked, pulling away slightly to look at Ranma's face.
"I'm not any good at talkin' and stuff, and sometimes I just say things.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta hurt you. You're the last person in the world
I'd wanna hurt, Mom," Ranma said.
A-ko: or molest.
Ranma: Are you calling my mom a pervert? ARE YOU CALLING MY MOM A PERVERT?!
A-ko: Well, yeah...
Ranma: That's it! (A-ko and Ranma fight.)
"I know that Ranma. You didn't hurt me, I hurt -you-. I hope you can
forgive me," Nodoka said.
Washu (imititating that SNL guy in those 1-800-Collect commericals): Can
you find it in your heart to forgive me?
"What? What are you talkin' about? You didn't hurt me!" Ranma protested.
"Yes, I did. I hurt you by letting my husband take you away. No mother
should give up her child, no matter what the circumstances," Nodoka
explained softly.
"Even in a matter of honor?" Ranma countered.
Andrew: That wasn't honor...by any standard.
Nodoka stiffened then slowly released her son. "Is honor so difficult a
concept to understand?" she asked sadly.
"No! B-but I don't know what you want! I don't know what to tell you, or
what you want to hear," Ranma explained helplessly.
"I want to hear the truth; no matter what, always the truth. Lies kept us
apart for far too long," Nodoka replied.
"Even if the truth is something you might not want to hear?" Ranma asked.
"Yes, even then. You were gone for so long, and when I came looking for my
family, they were scared of me. What kind of person was I that my family
would fear me?" Nodoka cried.
Ranma's face burned with shame. He looked down at his hands and sighed.
"It was that damn promise," he said quietly.
"How could you even -think- that I would kill you?" Nodoka asked.
"Mom, I didn't even know you! Pop was so scared, he was sure you'd make us
commit seppuku. Sure he's an idiot, but I figured he knew you better than I
did! The way you keep going on about honor and all, well, I didn't know
what to think. Besides, that's not the main reason I hid from you," Ranma
replied.
Lina: The angst factor builds up again. I take back what I said about
keeping the conflict going in the earlier scene.
"If it wasn't fear, then what was it?" Nodoka asked, wiping her eyes with
the back of her hand.
"It- it was fear. Yeah, I didn't wanna die, but that was only a part of it.
I- I wanted you to see me without the curse. I- I wanted to be the son you
always wanted! I was hoping to get cured before meeting you. I just. . . I
guess, I just wanted you to be proud of me," Ranma finished quietly, his
voice hoarse.
"Ranma, I -am- proud of you! You may not talk to me, but I've talked to
others about you. I know about your strength, your courage, and your
commitment to the Art. There can be no better heir to the Saotome School of
martial arts than you. You are truly a man among men," Nodoka said, smiling
proudly.
A-ko (during the fight, imit. Nodoka): And I can show you in bed what I mean!
Andrew: That's it, A-ko! Hey, Ranma! Let me in to the fight!
Lina: Me too! (They jump in and start fighting A-ko.)
(Washu & La Blue Girl look at each other.)
La Blue Girl: I'll call the funny farm.
Washu: Right after this fic is finished.
"Mom. . . I- I-" Ranma stuttered, at a loss for words. He reached forward
embraced her once more, resting his head on her shoulder.
"You are a man among men," Nodoka repeated, "But all I want now is my son."
She held him close for a few minutes before letting him go.
"Man, I think understand why you said this was a 'training' trip. I'm
exhausted!" Ranma exclaimed.
"Actually, that was more of a joke for your father's benefit. Only he would
call a ten-year separation a 'training' trip," Nodoka explained, sighing in
exasperation.
"I don't know if I can do what you want. . . Talkin' about my. . . feelings
is kinda hard," Ranma admitted.
Washu (imitating Ranma): Although teaching Akane to cook is even harder.
"Anything worth doing is difficult my son. All I ask is that you try. You
don't. . . you don't necessarily have to talk to me, but talk to someone,"
Nodoka replied.
"I guess. . . I can try," Ranma promised.
(The fight stops. A-ko, Ranma, and Lina are comatose. Andrew looked at his
hands.)
Andrew: I-I-I did t-t-that?
Washu: Not bad for an otaku.
Andrew: Thanks. (He collaspes, but does not faint.)
"Good enough. It's more than what I got from your father," Nodoka sighed.
"How -did- you end up a person like. . . him?" Ranma asked.
Washu: Good question.
This was a
subject he had been curious about for a long time.
La Blue Girl: 3-1 odds say she was under a spell.
Washu: 4-1 odds say it was an arraigned marriage. I mean, how else can you
explain her love for arraigned marriages with the slob she married?
"That. . . is a long story; one that I will tell you tomorrow. There's no
rush, after all, we're going to be staying her for a while, right?" Nodoka
asked.
Ranma smiled as he felt the stress he had built up over the years start to
fade. There would still be problems, he knew. His parents seemed to exist
in opposite ends of a spectrum. His mother's extreme sense of honor would
probably be as troublesome as his father's extreme lack of it. (Well, it's
nothing I can't handle,) Ranma thought confidently. "Yeah, I think I'd like
that," he replied.
(Andrew gets up.)
*********************************************
The End
*********************************************
Andrew: Predictions, Washu.
Washu: What is this...the McLaughlin Group?
Andrew: Oops...wrong mode. Anyway, your comments, Washu?
Washu: I really liked the fic.
La Blue Girl: Me too.
Andrew: So did I. Unfortunately, we won't hear from Ranma, Lina, and A-ko
today. I think they all need a bath.
Washu: While we figure out how to stop this Satan-laced passion spice.
La Blue Girl: I'm affected by it...Lina's not. (Andrew looks at Washu.
Andrew cowers behind Washu.)
Washu: OH. Oh,oh.
(La Blue Girl seductively grins as she starts to corner a scared Andrew and
Washu.)
La Blue Girl: Come on...I bet you've got a big Johnson Andrew!
Andrew: My name isn't Johnson...
Washu: Let's get out of here! (Washu and Andrew run around the place, La
Blue Girl chases after them in a Benny-Hill style.)
Fin.