Need... help... fading...fast...

I broke two of your prohibitions, Lurker-san. I'm sorry, but it was just too
perfect to pass up...

Disclaimer: Oh My Goddess! and the commercial spoofed are copyright their
respective creators and all distributors of their work.

Camera directions WILL ROT YOUR BRAIN... umm... they're in [].

*****

[Open on a shot of a phone booth on a cold, rainy street. The booth is lit
dimly by the light in its ceiling, and the receiver is off the hook.]

Belldandy (from the phone): Hello, you've reached the Goddess Relief Office.
Please stay where you are, and a representative will be with you shortly.

[The phone clicks off, and the reflective surface of the pay phone shimmers
as Belldandy squeezes herself through it. She hangs up the phone and looks
around.]

Belldandy: My... these certainly are dire straits. I only hope I've... dear
me, there doesn't seem to be anyone around.

[An offscreen whimper catches Belldandy's attention, and she looks down.]

Belldandy: Oh my! You poor thing... you must... what? You placed the call?

[The camera bobs up and down, and Belldandy smiles beatifically.]

Belldandy: That's a relief. I thought for a moment I'd missed you. Kami-sama
has judged you and found you to be worthy of a wish. Ask for anything you
want, and it shall be yours.

[The camera abruptly shifts to Belldandy's POV... a small, bedraggled
Chihuahua is sitting in a puddle and looking completely miserable.]

Dog (in a weak voice): Yo quiero Taco Bell...

[Switch back to the dog's POV as Belldandy is enveloped by a divine torrent
of energy, her symbols glowing brightly, and a voice booms down from the
heavens in a tone so powerful it is lost to the echoes. The divine whirlwind
fades, and Belldandy smiles.]

Belldandy: Granted.

[Cut to the kitchen of the temple Belldandy shares with her sisters and
Keiichi. Skuld is sitting at the table, enjoying a big (think salad-sized)
bowl of ice cream. A conveniently placed mirror shimmers as Belldandy steps
through it. Skuld looks up from her bowl, swallows her ice cream, and
smiles.]

Skuld: How was your first day back at work, Neechan?

[Belldandy pulls up a chair, sits down, and smiles back.]

Belldandy: It was fine... although I must say the last wish was a little...
unexpected.

[Belldandy sighs.]

Belldandy: Sometimes I wish Kami-sama wouldn't take things so literally.

[Skuld considers this for a few moments, and is about to say something when
Keiichi walks into the room. Belldandy's slightly morose expression is
replaced by a big ol' goofy grin.]

Belldandy: And there are other times...

[Keiichi looks a bit confused, shrugs, and opens the refrigerator for a
late-night snack... actually, Belldandy's leftovers from dinner.]

[Cut to a shot of a large glass building with the Taco Bell logo on the
outside.]

[Cut to a shot of the inside, to a plush office with a cherry wood desk
whose nameplate reads "Chairman of the Board".]

Jeeves (o.s.): Your mid-afternoon snack, sir.

[A covered platter is placed on the desk, and the top is lifted by a
white-gloved hand to reveal four perfect, piping-hot tacos. The chair, whose
back has been to us all this time, swivels around to reveal...]

Dog: I theen' I get to like thees job...

[Cut to a Taco Bell logo. A bug skitters across the screen and onto the
bell, laughing its peculiar high-pitched laugh all the way. Skuld is not far
behind.]

Skuld: DIE!

[Mjolnir swings and connects. BONNNNG.]

[Fade to black.]

*****

You can hunt me down and kill me now.

--G. Falconar