TANGLED WEB


		       Ranma 1/2 manga fanfiction
			     by Gary Kleppe

	The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the creation and rightful
property of Rumiko Takahashi. They are used here without permission.
This story may be freely redistributed, but it should not be altered
substantially or used for profit in any way.

[snip]

Golly.
I only have minor nits. Otherwise, this was well-written and actually
conceivable.

	"I-- I've always been a MAN! I have *no idea* what it's like
to--"

	"AAAARGH! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!" Ukyo instinctively reached
back for her combat spatula, but found only empty air at her back. She
drew several deep breaths to calm herself down.

Don't these two paragraphs go together? I mean, Ukyo says both, right? It's
not story-breaking, it just disrupts the flow of reading for a short while
as I tried to figure out WHY the apparent line from Ukyo was separate from
the tagged one.

Or maybe you should show who says which. Sometimes, when the focal
character's partner is not yet revealed (and somtimes when it is), you end
up having three or more lines untagged. All well and good, if done
properly, but even a minor glitch (like the one above) can stop reading as
the reader tries to figure out who says which.

[snip]

	Soun turned to his friend and grimaced. "You know, Saotome, we
really ought to be more careful. We have to be sure that this little
hobby of ours stays secret."

	"Absolutely right, Tendo. It could be very bad for us if people
begin to suspect that not everything around here is as it seems."

BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!

###


AUTHOR'S SPIEL:

	By now, you, the reader, are probably scratching your head and
asking what the heck you've just read. This story was conceived after
reading "The Masks We Must Wear," and the many stories following it that
featured selected Ranma 1/2 characters in relationships that had been
kept secret throughout the series.

	My aim was to write the ultimate in "Hidden Relationships"
stories, one where just about *every* character was secretly seeing
someone unexpected. (I did leave out Happi, which was probably a relief
to everyone.) 

Yes, it was. You also left out the Soun-Genma angle. I don't know how I'd
keep reading through that one. (Like my nomination for worst opening for a
fanfic - "Oh, Soun, your moustache is tickling me.")

This was originally supposed to be just a quickie spamfic.
Maybe it should've stayed that way. But as I wrote, many of the
relationships expanded and took on lives of their own, as I started to
almost believe that they were possible.

	I have no idea whether anyone else will be amused by this, but
it was fun to write. It was also a broadening experience for me, as most
of the relationships went strongly against my own character biases. If
you've read this far, I'd be happy to hear what you thought of this
story.

I thought it was great. Strange, but great. I feel sorry for Mousse,
though... but I kind of like the Kuno-Kasumi one. Maybe it's just my bias.

And the Nabiki-Kodachi was really out of left field. Plausible, but I never
saw it coming.

And the Ukyo-Gosunkugi one... Huh?


=====
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http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/7482

icq: 7153134 (Keiichi)
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"The story grew in the most convoluted way, as many people will be
surprised to learn. Writing episodically meant that when I finished one
episode I had no idea about what the next one would contain. When, in the
twists and turns of the plot, some event suddenly seemed to illuminate
things that had gone before, I was as surprised as anyone else."

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